Women and Language

[lavender]

 

[Weevil]

Call me crazy but I've never thought of saying that someone has "balls" to be either a compliment or an insult. It can be both, Or neither. I agree that "Balls" isn't a very good term for saying that someone has guts or what have you but I disagree about your thoughts that saying someone has Balls is a big compliment.

 

[Mischka]

Boy, I discuss women's issues around here a lot, don't I? Just wanted to add that in no way do my comments mean to disrespect or disparage men. Feminist, yes. Man-hater, no.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Most excellent disposition, dear Mischka. Bravo!
Thank you for bringing that into the spotlight, lavender.

Absolutely, "that chick's got balls!" is very patronizing. (Hmmm, the word "patronizing" has a masculine root, doesn't it? Can a female be patronizing?)

Freud was wrong: women do NOT suffer from penis envy!

 

[lavender]

 

[lavender]

 

[DevilMayCare]

Walking timidly into the room between these two bitch dykes...

Oops, wrong thread.

Admit it lavender and Mischka, you've both sized down your intelligence and your assertiveness when you've deemed it necessary in the pursuit of approval. Women often do that in relation to men lest they create insecurity in the man. We've lived within a patriarchy as long as we have because men are intimidated by the feminine. You hold the key to procreation and are the object of every heterosexual man's dreams. Therein lies your great power.

This crap about having balls is just that. We'd much rather reduce you to men with tits than to respond to the true mystery of your being. What's that old saw, "Mystery or mystery, thy name is woman." Or Freud's famous quote, "What do women want?"

I like a strong woman who is fully herself, whatever that looks like. It doesn't require elimination of femininity. In fact I enjoy a feminine women quite a bit more than a feminine man. I'm not offended by a feminine man, but the coming together of the opposites, male and female is delicious and wonderful. You don't have to be balsy or a bitch to be assertive and have opinions.

Its nice to listen to young woman speak so eloquently for themselves on this and other issues. Its a real mark of the changes we've been going through and will continue to experience. To my mind, they're all for the better.

 

[Mustang Sally]

We've lived within a patriarchy as long as we have because men are intimidated by the feminine. You hold the key to procreation and are the object of every heterosexual man's dreams. Therein lies your great power.

I wish I were one of the eloquent ones. Since I'm not, I'm just going to yell - vagina envy!! Men deny their vagina envy and project it onto us by accusing us of penis envy! It's perfect!

 

[Problem Child]

Why do all youse broads got yer panties all in a bunch?

Geez...nutty dames...it must be that time of the month er sumthin'.

 

[Mischka]

Admit it lavender and Mischka, you've both sized down your intelligence and your assertiveness when you've deemed it necessary in the pursuit of approval.

No approval I have ever sought required less intelligence, DMC. It's not worth pursuing unless it drives you forward.

 

[angie girl]

sticks and stones?

ya donn say 'that bitch has got some balls'...ya say 'that bitch can kick some balls'...right?

and if you're putting them in my mouth, whatever you say, ya juss better be polite mister!

 

[lavender]

 

[DarlingBri]

You don't have to be balsy or a bitch to be assertive and have opinions.[/B]

Sadly, women who are assertive about their opinions are generally called bitches. That's the way of the world, and it sucks.

We have a clutch of very intelligent women on this board (thank you, God, thank you thank you...). Now, if we look at those women - all of whom can and do write thoughtful, interesting, and responsive posts - those who are at the more assertive end of the spectrum are regularly slated as bitches, while those who are less assertive are often just plain passed over in replies.

Honestly, it's true. Mischka is wandering into "bitch" territory because she is assertive. Give it time; someone *will* hoist her with that petard soon enough. lavender, on the other hand, is not going to be called that, even though her opinion is the exact same as Mischka's.

I could come up with better examples, but I am not sure about the wisdom of bringing other people into this thread in this context.

And yes, I'm very assertive, and yes, I'm am widely considered a bitch on this board. Doesn't bother me one bit.

As to balls:

I have semantic problems with telling a woman she has balls. I don't. However, when someone says that to me, I do try to recognise the "first level" meaning behind it, and skip over the other 72 levels of crap behind it.

That said, my mother almost divorced my father when he complimented my sister at a track meet by saying "she runs like a boy!" His name was mud in our house for a long few days

 

[DarlingBri]

By the way...

Flip side of the coin...

There are other expressions that use the term "balls."

For example:

"Balls to that."
"Oh, balls."
"That's bollocks."

These roughly translate as:

"Fuck that."
"Oh, crap."
"That's a load of shit."

Not the most complimentry light in which to view a part of the male anatomy, eh?

Does that change anything in this discussion?

 

[lavender]

 

[DarlingBri]

Could you be more assertive about that opinion?

 

[lavender]

 

[Siren]

Hey lavender, are you a fragrance, flower or herb?

 

[lavender]

Re: Hey lavender, are you a fragrance, flower or herb?

 

[Siren]

What can I say Lavender potpourri....

 

[lavender]

Not lavender potpourri

 

[Siren]

So you are a purple people eater eh?

 

[lavender]

Must it all be a joke?

 

[Siren]

Everything in life is ajoke.

 

[lavender]