Write a controversial opinion

[Erozetta]

Remind me never to read a Lit story that uses "scrotoplasty" as a tag.

Coward.

 

[SimonDoom]

Coward.

As Clint Eastwood's character in Magnum Force (no coward) said, "A good man knows his limitations."

 

[Ian_Snow]

Damn it, I saw the name of this thread and I got really excited to share my controversial hot take on how useless Colby Jack cheese is. It was a good post, too. But okay, fine, I'll share a hot take on stories, I guess.

I dread writing blowjob scenes. Other writers can make them interesting. I can't. Or at least, they don't feel that way. There are only so many ways you can write "he stuffed his wedding tackle into her bait shop entrance number one" before you get bored as fuck with them. Blowjobs in real life? God yes. Having to write them? God no.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Have him stand in front of a full length mirror, admiring how big his junk looks in his new jockstrap.

Thanks, now I have a narrator's voice echoing in my head about how his penis penised dickishly.

 

[Actingup]

Thanks, now I have a narrator's voice echoing in my head about how his penis penised dickishly.

“Your Majesty!” he exclaimed as his penis penised dickishly. “Sorry, wrong bathroom.”

 

[alohadave]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Lethal Weapon.

 

[MillieDynamite]

And it could've started with quite a bang if Mel hadn't stopped when he squeezed the trigger, just a little bit. But it would've been a very short movie.

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Lethal Weapon. View attachment 2571318

 

[Bramblethorn]

That's the only way.

He turns to admire the size from different angles, but ends up lamenting how his balls are sagging a bit. Then he pulls the skin taut as he considers scrotoplasty to fend off the signs of aging. Those balls made two kids, though, so he should be proud of the sag.

A wistful smile drifts across his face as he recalls his carefree younger days when they bounced freely, resplendent in their scrotum pasties. He'd wowed housewives, fashion execs, even a First Lady with his Newton's Cradle impression. His "Scrote to Scrote" tour had made the National Enquirer. I had it all wrong, he thought. You don't just wake up one morning and decide to trade all that for Marge, a Volvo SUV, and little Bobson and Melindabell. It creeps up on you so stealthily you don't even notice until it's done.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Spray frosting is better than spray cheese.

 

[Actingup]

A wistful smile drifts across his face as he recalls his carefree younger days when they bounced freely, resplendent in their scrotum pasties. He'd wowed housewives, fashion execs, even a First Lady with his Newton's Cradle impression. His "Scrote to Scrote" tour had made the National Enquirer. I had it all wrong, he thought. You don't just wake up one morning and decide to trade all that for Marge, a Volvo SUV, and little Bobson and Melindabell. It creeps up on you so stealthily you don't even notice until it's done.

I might be wrong, but I believe that the Puppetry of the Penis guys might still do private parties. There's got to be a graceful way to do a managed exit from the stage, anyway.

 

[Britva415]

Spray frosting is better than spray cheese.

Spray frosting is frosting, but spray cheese is not cheese.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Did you know that you're not done physically growing till your mid twenties, and that your brain isn't done developing till your late twenties. So maybe drugs and alcohol should wait till you're 30...

No, that'd just be prohibition all over again, it's safer as it is.

 

[XerXesXu]

Pregnancy is an STD.

 

[Statius]

Pregnancy is an STD.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Pregnancy is an STD.

Chlamydia is such a pretty name for a girl.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Pregnancy is an STD.

So I guess we're AIDING our parents after all...

 

[SimonDoom]

The best flower is a purple iris.

 

[SilkyVine]

“Loving Wives” was always tongue-in-cheek and never literal.

This is controversial?

"Loving Wives
Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more."

Not our problem the insecure manlets can't read I mean it says it RIGHT THERE. "extra-marital". What do they think this means?

 

[XerXesXu]

The Tulip Mania was the only time flowers were ever valued properly.

I have a tulip bulb for sale for only the average annual salary. PM me.

 

[crookedletter]

It isn't always abusive.

Shit, I didn't even know I was a 'trad guy' until after my first marriage exploded and went down in flames. The first Mrs. Baz was very liberated and decided that she had to be 'free'.

My second wife was someone who had been nursing a crush on me and when we got together we went bare, she moved in with me, she got pregnant, and we got married. Three kids and a thirty-one year marriage followed.

After we paid off the house in 1993 she stayed home and I fucking loved it. So did she.

Rae died in March 2020 and I've been single ever since.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your life's trajectory is, of course, entirely valid, and I hope it brought you happiness. But it's far from the only path towards happiness.

 

[Baztrachian]

I'm sorry for your loss. Your life's trajectory is, of course, entirely valid, and I hope it brought you happiness. But it's far from the only path towards happiness.

True. Some people are only happy when they die.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/09/marriage-motherhood-happiness-children/684064/

A common narrative has it that commitment and motherhood make women unhappy. New data suggest the opposite is true.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

I think there ought to be a week long module in high school English classes entitled "Genre is a Lie that is True"

It should use this argument as the prime example and highlight how all genre distinctions are somewhat arbitrary and can always be broken with convenient outliers.

In the end, it's revealed that the actual title was "Genre is a Social Construct" and, oops, we just explained in detail with an engaging example how social constructs are simultaneously real and fake and how to spot when they are being used in a silly way.

That would be brilliant class. Way better than having to read Grapes of Wrath and The Scarlet Letter.

 

[Nightaelf]

Em dashes are basically the written version of someone who keeps interrupting a conversation to say, “Oh, and another thing!” or “You know what’s really important?” They break the rhythm, grab attention, and pretend to add meaning, while actually just killing the flow.