Writing Exercise 10: In the Dungeon

[onehitwanda]

"Ah weem a weh," he said.

 

[SimonDoom]

Let's see if your problem-free philosophy can save you now, my pretty! And your little meerkat, too!

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Just a little tale of revenge, or is it righteous retribution?

---

“Amber… What, where…?”

“Oh, David, don’t be silly. Look around. Surely you recognize where you are. This is where you brought me last year, remember? Where you used me, where you left me alone after you’d sated your lust, where you ruined my life.”

“Amber, please…” I pulled against the restraints. They weren’t going to give, I knew that. Just like they’d held her secure as I’d done everything she’d accused me of. “What are you going to do to me?” I shivered as the cold stone I was lying on sent shivers through my naked body.

“I’m returning the favor.” Amber’s laugh had a sadistic tone to it.

“Favor?” What favor? I had drugged her, brought her down to the dungeon under the old abandoned house, and used her repeatedly until, as she said, I had satisfied my lust. Then, unlocking the shackles that held her, had left her in a puddle of her own tears to reconcile what had happened.

“You poor thing. You have no idea what you really did, do you? I can tell. You never knew the truth about this dungeon or what secrets it holds.”

“Secrets? Amber, what the fuck is going on?”

“Don’t worry David, it’s almost time.” She ran her fingers through my hair, leaning close and pressing her lips to mine. There was no warmth. Instead, they were cold, devoid of any feeling.

“Is he ready? More importantly, are you ready?” Another voice, another female voice, came from the darkness.

“Yes, mistress.” Amber smiled down at me.

“Then give me your arm.” I watched in horror as Amber acquiesced. The strange woman took Amber’s arm in her hand, and grinning at me, exposed her fangs, biting hard. Thick rivulets of dark red oozed from the bite.

“Drink, David.” Amber forced her wrist into my mouth.

“Amber, no!” I screamed, trying to pull my mouth away as the realization of what was happening washing over me. This couldn’t be real. Vampires were myth, fiction. This couldn’t be happening.

“Drink and become mine.” A darkness burned in Amber’s eyes as she forced her wrist back into my mouth. “This is what you did to me. You didn’t just rape me, you miserable cur. You left me here for Alessandra to find, for her to play with and feed on, to make me her slave, her vassal, to do her bidding. Now it’s your turn to be mine, so drink, David, drink.”

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Coincidentally I am rewriting a story that takes place mostly in a dungeon. Here’s an excerpt.

Light spilled into the darkness within and swept across the prisoner as the door came slowly open. Her white kimono now carried deep red stains in neat circles around her wounds. She sat in a kneeling position, forced that way by her iron bindings that clasped her to a sturdy wood column in the center of the dirt-floor cell.

I held my breath momentarily as I studied her with awe before I turned to Kazuo and whispered, "Let me see her face."

He considered me awkwardly, gave a flustered huff, but obeyed, bowing and muttering a soft “of course, my lady.”

He walked over to the prisoner and lifted her slumped head by the chin. Her head moved heavily in his hand, as if she were dead, but I saw flickers of consciousness in her. Between the wet black strands of her hair, her eyes opened and found mine, leaving me stunned — both by the wolfish rage they contained and an unsettling allure. A demoness of some sort, no doubt, as malicious as the one from my dream… and just as beautiful.

 

[onehitwanda]

Let's see if your problem-free philosophy can save you now, my pretty! And your little meerkat, too!

 

[onehitwanda]

Coincidentally I am rewriting a story that takes place mostly in a dungeon. Here’s an excerpt.

Light spilled into the darkness within and swept across the prisoner as the door came slowly open. Her white kimono now carried deep red stains in neat circles around her wounds. She sat in a kneeling position, forced that way by her iron bindings that clasped her to a sturdy wood column in the center of the dirt-floor cell.

I held my breath momentarily as I studied her with awe before I turned to Kazuo and whispered, "Let me see her face."

He considered me awkwardly, gave a flustered huff, but obeyed, bowing and muttering a soft “of course, my lady.”

He walked over to the prisoner and lifted her slumped head by the chin. Her head moved heavily in his hand, as if she were dead, but I saw flickers of consciousness in her. Between the wet black strands of her hair, her eyes opened and found mine, leaving me stunned — both by the wolfish rage they contained and an unsettling allure. A demoness of some sort, no doubt, as malicious as the one from my dream… and just as beautiful.

you are *such* a tease.

 

[SimonDoom]

It really doesn't get better than that.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The familiar scent is what woke him.

Stale, damp, chill, with traces of char, blood, leather, metal, and unwashed bodies flitting around the edges. Quite distinctive.

"OOOookay then. Who nabbed me this time?" he asked aloud.

The silence was undisturbed except by the drips and drops of dribbles off the uneven stone ceiling, condensing the moisture as it passed.

"Really? Playing coy, are ya?" he asked, disgust evident in his voice. "Look, last week the King's cousin tried to break me. That didn't work, obviously. And the week before that the Thieves' Guild got their leather panties in a twist with my 'freelancing' in 'their' town. That didn't get much done neither. Soooo.... what'm I doing in here now?"

Again, silence and drips were his only response.

Shaking his head, the man flexed against his restraints, finding them professionally applied. No quick and easy way out that way. No one to taunt or tease or whatever. Hrmph. They put some thought into it this time.

He started working at the bonds, trying different pressures and stresses, looking for weaknesses he could wear at. After some time and effort, he realized - the bonds shifted as he moved, and he couldn't see them from where his head was clamped. Not a good thing, not good indeed.

"Well, good..." he started, only to be interrupted by a brilliant flash of light.

"Now that you're confident in your capture, let me explain," explained the bright humanoid shape of light that had just appeared. It was painful to look at, and he couldn't move his head, so he shut his eyes.

"You're a discordant influence in the proper order of things. As such, you will be removed from society until such time as we become convinced you're willing to reform. You'll be fed randomly, but not starved. You'll never know how long you're here until you're done. And this is the last we'll be talking to you. So - do break soon. It'll be easier for you in the long run, you know."

The bright light disappeared, dropping him back into the dungeon's dimness.

And he stayed there. For a long, long time.

 

[onehitwanda]

It really doesn't get better than that.

I have broken people with this gif before.

 

[SimonDoom]

I have broken people with this gif before.

Some people have a hard time thinking through the reality of this whole "circle of life" thing.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

200 words:

"Welcome to the dungeon."

I blinked. "It's your living room." Her comfy beige sofa, shelves of books and games, and the large TV under the mantelpiece, looked as homely as ever.

"No, sweetheart. It just looks like my living room." A wolfish smile. "Trust me, this is the setting for me to force you to deal with your deepest secret desires, experience pleasure and pain more than you've ever known - and frustration, and fear, and so many emotions. Possibly, eventually, sweet release..."

I must have looked unconvinced. She grinned at me. "Don't worry. I'll close the curtains first." She did so, pulling the heavy drapes closed at both ends of the room. "A dungeon, really, is all in your mind..."

She clapped her hands. "Let's get you in there. Come on, take your clothes off."

"All... all of them?" I asked feebly, but unbuttoned my shirt immediately. Her glare was fierce; I was thankful I hadn't disobeyed.

"Did I stutter? It was a perfectly clear instruction. You. Naked. Now."

By the time I stood before her, trying not to shiver with cold air on my bare skin, I believed her.

She had a dungeon, and I was in it.

 

[Bazzle]

In the dungeon the mighty dungeon
The lioness sleeps tonight
In the dungeon the quiet dungeon
The lioness sleeps tonight

 

[StillStunned]

Remarkable how many of these snippets are from current works in progress. Is that a coincidence, or do people just generally write a lot about dungeons?

 

[yowser]

Remarkable how many of these snippets are from current works in progress. Is that a coincidence, or do people just generally write a lot about dungeons?

A: It's Dungeness crab season.

 

[Bazzle]

A: It's Dungeness crab season.

It looks fun!

https://www.rhdr.org.uk/stations/dungeness-station/

 

[SimonDoom]

Remarkable how many of these snippets are from current works in progress. Is that a coincidence, or do people just generally write a lot about dungeons?

Not me. Mine were just spur of the moment nuttiness.

Thank you for the "twisted mind" comment. I take that as high praise.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Mine was written just for this exercise, while on the phone to a bank...

 

[AlexBailey]

“Oh fuck! You’re fucking kidding me! My first paying client and it’s my professor?”

Shelly had spun around on her spiked heels and strode right back out of the dungeon. She had entered the chamber amped and ready, dressed to the T in a classic outfit for her first session as a professional dominatrix. But one look at the authority figure who could decide her future with the stroke of his pen, now reduced to a simpering needy mess, shattered her resolve.

Shocked by the sudden shift in her protégé’s demeanor, Madam DeVille slammed the heavy dungeon door and demanded an explanation from Shelly.

“I can’t go in there! It’s Mr Craven!” Shelly was desperate. “I talked about my new job in my public speaking class on Thursday, now he shows up for services? This is no fucking coincidence!”

Madam DeVille laughed. “Not so grand a mighty now, is he? Put yourself back together. This is the perfect test for whether you have what it takes. You have the upper hand now and he has a long way to fall. Now get in there.”

Shelly squared up in front of the mirror, took a deep breath and smacked the leather crop in the palm of her hand. “Just a moment,” she said, taking the crop in her teeth and removing her mask.

Madam reopened the dungeon door and Shelly strode in, corseted and clad in a gleaming patent leather bodysuit and thigh-high boots.

“Mister Craven,” Shelly purred sardonically, her heels clicking across the floor as she came to stand over the naked prostrate man. “This will be great fodder for our next assignment.”

 

[yowser]

“What’s that over there?” I was sure that fear leaked through my words.

“Ah, you noticed. Just sitting there in the corner, waving its claws. Mostly harmless.”

I indeed did not like the looks of the creature in the corner, maybe six inches wide, its fiery malignant eyes swiveling on evil stalks.

My captor's eyes looked amused, her dark eyebrows arching. If not for my predicament, I would have found them highly arousing. She idly pulled up the top of one of her glossy long leather boots as if they needed a tug, her triangular crotch hair as dark and menacing as the stone dungeon walls. I did not like her smile.

She bent down to check the ropes securing my wrists and ankles to the floor, her elongated breasts swishing by my face in a marvelous arc.

“A crab. Maybe a hungry one. Famous in this region. Some find them tasty.”

I squirmed uncomfortably. I wished my erection was neither evident nor so pronounced.

“You know what they like to eat?”

I shook my head.

“Fishy things. Strong smelling. Like this.”

She reached in a water-filled bucket nearby the door, and pulled out some sort of marine annelid, a dark distasteful creature that writhed in her grasp.

“Why don't I leave this on you for a spell? Let you all get acquainted?”

The crab seemed to have shown some interest in the new alluring odor, and began to advance out of its corner.

“No! Don't do that!” I yanked on my restraints but they held fast.

“I'll just put this here.” She deposited the wet slithery thing on my bare navel.

“I'll be back shortly to check on you. By the way it’s a Dungeness crab, a feature of our seacoast. Enjoy!”

After she departed, the door closing with a fearful finality, my wild, useless yells echoed around the damp walls of the underground room.

 

[SimonDoom]

Garcia, strapped into a chair in the underground dungeon cell, stared back defiantly at his jailer, Monson.

"You'll never break me," he said.

"That's what they all say." Monson grinned. "But every man has his weakness."

"Not me," Garcia said, spitting back at Monson. "You've electrocuted me, waterboarded me, shoved things under my fingernails. But I haven't broken."

Monson folded his hands together.

"Time to get serious," he said. "Saunders?"

A minute later Saunders showed up with a boom box.

"Push the button, Saunders," Monson said.

"Are you sure, boss?" Saunders asked. "We're supposed to break him, not kill him."

"He'll break before he dies," Monson said. "Push it."

Saunders set the boom box on a stool a few feet from Garcia, and he pushed the button.

Garcia waited, and his jaw dropped in horror when he heard the sounds coming out of the music player.

"No," he said. "You can't --"

"Oh, but we can," Monson said.

The voice of Justin Bieber, singing "Yummy", filled the cell.

"Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy."

"This is inhuman," Garcia said, sweat pouring from his forehead.

"We specialize in inhuman. Tell us what we want to know."

"Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy."

"No, no," Garcia cried. But he knew it was only a matter of time before "no" became "yes."

"Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy."

It became unspeakable.

 

[MK_Whimsy]

How long have I been locked in this place? What were they planning to do with me? There was only a heavy, lingering uncertainty as to what lay ahead. I could only sit in anticipation on the bench in the back of the cell, looking through the rows of iron bars on the other side that extended from the floor all the way to the ceiling.

Outside of the cell, I could see a few pieces of equipment - a large St. Andrew's Cross and a cage dangling from the ceiling, to name a few things. My view of the dungeon's interior was severely limited from this vantage point, however.

I had been here long enough. It was time to go. I twisted my body, pulling at the shackles that kept my wrists locked over my head against the wall, hearing the chains rattle. My lip lifting into an annoyed sneer, I tugged against them, the left one and then the right one. They noisily slid across the stone wall they were anchored to as I squirmed around in place, clenching and unclenching my fists while making a vain attempt to dislodge them.

No, you don't get to leave, they seemed to be saying.

Gasping, I finally stopped, finding my wrists still securely anchored over my head. Even if by some miracle I did free myself from their grasp, there was still the matter of the neck shackle that anchored me to the seat I was sitting on as well.

Well, one thing at a time.

I tried again, and again, pulling at the shackles uselessly, rocking side to side on both of my sit bones. What choice did I have? It would have been nice to have been able to stand up. Maybe this was what I deserved for talking back to my captors. Perhaps I should take a softer tone with them next time.

Or then again, maybe not.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

She ran out of a side tunnel three turns from entrance, a tiny slip of a thing in a shapeless smock and loose pants like she'd just rolled out of bed.

"Thieves!" Her voice was shrill. None of us paid her any mind. Krem, in the lead, would shoulder her aside if necessary. We'd be outside and on our horses in minutes.

She snatched a torch from its bracket on the wall, as if we were spiders to be held at bay with heat and light. "Stop, in the name of our Protector and Devourer!"

How curious. This wasn't Her temple. Nobody was dumb enough to rob Her temples.

No sooner had that thought passed than I saw the torch's flame triple in height. It lapped at the stone overhead, swaying and twisting in some unseen breeze like a snake poised to strike.

I saw Krem break stride, two hundred pounds of hardened plains warrior suddenly uncertain. Here was the moment on which the course of this battle would turn. "Rawloo!" I shouted, pointing.

Ever the professional, he had an arrow nocked already. He drew and loosed. A minute twitch of her wrist sent that fiery lash forward. The lethal broadhead tumbled off course, shorn of its fletching.

Bile rose in my mouth. I was at Meandra. I had seen the men piled in windrows like wheat before a scythe. The worst part was the smell, not just the usual battlefield stink of shit and blood but the fragrance of charred meat. It came back to me every time we visited an inn with a joint roasting in the hearth.

I threw my sword down. "Mercy, sister!"

Another girl came running, one of the Spinner and Weaver's by the robes she clutched around herself. With wide eyes she took in the curious sight of four armored men kneeling meekly before a girl in her pajamas. Then her face fell. "You're going to be insufferable, aren't you?"

This was addressed to our captor, who grinned. "You should invite your girlfriend over more often."

Beside me, I saw Rawloo startle at this casual confirmation of the lurid stories we'd all heard.

"Fuck me," the newcomer said, lip curling in disgust.

"Gladly, dear, as soon as you call someone to take this lot off my hands."

That was when I relaxed. The Spinner and Weaver was a gentle goddess. If our captor meant to turn us over to Her mercy, I'd be a free man in a few years, and with a hell of a story to tell.

 

[Erozetta]

(This may or may not have been the story I wrote many years ago that resulted in my current pen name.)

Excerpt from "Keeper of the Cave"

The lecherous Valentine approached Lisette and pinned her to the wall behind them. “Our sorcerer is jealous as he thought your heritage would deter my desire to mate with you. An impure lineage is a deterrent, but I’d be mad to refuse to acknowledge how your elven blood has merged so beautifully with your human half. They are usually more obvious. Waify women with pointy ears and twig-like fingers that feel skeletal upon your flesh.”

Lisette didn’t resist as he began to untie the lacing going up her shirt, revealing her full breasts and slender waist. As a rogue, her keenest sense was when the time was right to strike, and she wasn't there.

Valentine admired her body and untied her pants, sliding them down her thighs as she grimaced. Her legs were muscular and her hips held a soft layer of flesh, no visible bones as is customary on an elven body.

“It appears your elven blood is only reflected in your eyes, hair, and teeth. Your skin and frame are that of a human line. Perhaps you’re less tainted than I first suspected.”

She tilted her head and smiled at him. “Did you know that female elves, including many half-bloods, often find work in the sex trade because their genitals are tighter and wetter than even the most desired of virginal humans?”

Valentine smirked and lowered his hand between her legs. The oldest Mordred watched in dismay as she encouraged Valentine to test her claim. Both Mordreds looked to the ground, a look of defeat upon their faces as their lights went out. Lisette and Valentine were once again cast in solid black darkness.

Valentine was rough as he curled his fingers inside her, seeming amused at the accuracy of her claim. “Well, how about that? I’m going to enjoy seeing how long that lasts, " his lips brushed over her ear as he spoke.

In the darkness she allowed her silvered dagger to slide from its sheath on her wrist before slicing through his throat with a thick gouge. His fingers tensed up inside her for a moment then he collapsed to the ground with a thud. The youngest Mordred’s palm lit up and he watched Lisette pull her clothing back over her blood sprayed body. Nonplussed at the scene before him.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

The latest from @StillStunned; Bound to the Blade, inspired me to spend a little tine with my fantasy novel. The opening seemed right for this task, so I thought I'd drop it in here.

---

“Keep going. Don’t give up. You’ll find a way…” I kept repeating the words again and again. Fighting sleep as pain coursed through my leg and the stench of the sewer filled my head. The sound of what I could only guess were rats moving in the darkness filled my ears. Time had long ago lost its way in the pitch blackness as my imagination painted visions of previously unknown terrors in my mind.

Stumbling, staggering, sometimes crawling through the darkness, I fought to keep going. Fighting the pain throbbing in my calf, doing anything I could to keep sleep at bay, knowing that if it found me, the terrors in my mind would win and I might never wake.

“Keep going. Keep… going…” I shouted the words in my mind. Did I say them out loud?

Sore, so tired, so very tired. Collapsing, I pulled myself from the muck, finding a wall to lean against.

Sleep finally won.

Bruno was chasing me. No, it wasn’t him; it was something grotesque. Pale mottled skin, massive tusks like a wild boar, pieces of studded leather hanging from his massive body, and a crude weapon.

“It comes.” A crone whispered her warning to someone, something unseen.

Elves, dwarves, strange creatures of fantasy and fiction filled my head. Massive leather wings block out the sun.

 

[StillStunned]

The latest from @StillStunned; Bound to the Blade, inspired me to spend a little tine with my fantasy novel. The opening seemed right for this task, so I thought I'd drop it in here.

---

“Keep going. Don’t give up. You’ll find a way…” I kept repeating the words again and again. Fighting sleep as pain coursed through my leg and the stench of the sewer filled my head. The sound of what I could only guess were rats moving in the darkness filled my ears. Time had long ago lost its way in the pitch blackness as my imagination painted visions of previously unknown terrors in my mind.

Stumbling, staggering, sometimes crawling through the darkness, I fought to keep going. Fighting the pain throbbing in my calf, doing anything I could to keep sleep at bay, knowing that if it found me, the terrors in my mind would win and I might never wake.

“Keep going. Keep… going…” I shouted the words in my mind. Did I say them out loud?

Sore, so tired, so very tired. Collapsing, I pulled myself from the muck, finding a wall to lean against.

Sleep finally won.

Bruno was chasing me. No, it wasn’t him; it was something grotesque. Pale mottled skin, massive tusks like a wild boar, pieces of studded leather hanging from his massive body, and a crude weapon.

“It comes.” A crone whispered her warning to someone, something unseen.

Elves, dwarves, strange creatures of fantasy and fiction filled my head. Massive leather wings block out the sun.

Very evocative, and very nightmarish at the end!