Writing sex scenes seems to be the hardest part😧

[AchtungNight]

That's a common problem, and I have it often -- the reason is simple: You feel a sense of obligation to write a sex scene, but it doesn't fit the narrative at that point. Unless the story actually calls for a sex scene at a certain point, better not to write one.

This is true. Sometimes the characters need more bonding first. Have them talk things out or get to know each other better with chitchat. Throwing a bad guy at them and making them work together to handle the situation is also good.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I don't have anything meaningful to add to this writing-sex-is-hard discussion.

 

[NoJo]

I don't have anything meaningful to add to this writing-sex-is-hard discussion.

That shouldn't stop you

 

[VerbalAbuse]

That shouldn't stop you

It hasn't stopped anybody before me.

 

[TheLobster]

Unless it's a lesbian scene. There's nothing HARD about a lesbian scene.

To be fair, clits can get pretty stiff.

That shouldn't stop you

It sure hasn't stopped me!

 

[designatedvictim]

My “finished” draft novel has three parts that are just <<<sex scene here>>>

To be honest, two of them have a few more details but not not any real writing. But I do this regularly when writing.

I was originally going to reply to W61, but this... this is what I do.

I may often build a high-level outline on a similar model as W61, but not quite as formally-structured.

• Day One: This
• Day Two: This and that
• etc

I've come to the conclusion that I write scenes and try to tie them all together with a basic story.

One consequence of that, is that I write the low-hanging fruit first, scenes sprinkled about the body of the work that fit the overarching flow I'm looking for, then go back and start writing the connective tissue.

I started a thread a few weeks back where I mentioned 'ruining' a story when I went to back-fill some of that earlier material.

Since I like writing scenes, I tend to focus on the scene, not the overarching story at that level.

The result, in my example from last month, happened while writing a scene that was supposed to be the MMC's quiet introduction to running around nude at his FMC's encouragement. (He's visiting sister and roommate who are nudists, which was news to him upon arrival, so he'd been staying with them nude for a week, at that point.)

My mental 'placeholder' was for a scene of light, playful encouragement, followed by some quiet, relaxing naked-time at an isolated outdoor campfire.

When I'd finished the first draft of the scene, one or two phrases I'd dropped in (and really liked) changed the feel of the scene completely from playful encouragement to a full-on seduction, which wasn't my overall goal, at all. (And that change in tone changed how any follow-on scenes would need to do.)

I'd been uncertain if the MMC & FMC would go full-incest by the end. I've since decided that they won't, although they will get awfully familiar with each other, with the roommate being the primary sexual interest.

The campfire scene also originally had too much of a 'two lovers relaxing after the deed'-vibe, too. (There is still some echoes of that in the current pass of the scene.)

I eventually reworked the scenes into what the early scene was supposed to be.

But sprinkled about in this (and other WIPs) are little notes [Insert Scene], which is my way of saying 'these people need to be boning, here, make it happen.'

 

[designatedvictim]

Sometimes the sex scenes are the most challenging. Not necessarily to write, but to fit.

Yes. I'm having a bit of that with my current WIP.

My two characters are going to get very playful with each other, but I have yet to write a smooth transition from naked to sexually touching as a bridge to what they later get into.

I need to build that transition.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I remember reading it while holding a tub of ice cream, chastising myself for not keeping better track of my notes… and then quietly contemplating which scene it might actually fit into.

That is exceptionally brilliant! Nice work!

 

[Writer61]

To be clear, my outline tends to evolve. At the start, it can be very sparse, whereas the example above is from an almost complete work.

One of the advantages (for me) of having a TOC is that I can quickly jump to the section I want to work on.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

It sure hasn't stopped me!

Everybody saw that.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

While I don’t outline this way, I would add a note at the of the line about what is broadly happening in that scene.
Saturday Night/ Marlene and Fleur- date, Marlene nervous
Sunday morning/ Marlene and Fleur- morning after, Fleur is gentle and assuring.

Morning after implies sex on Saturday night, but maybe it doesn’t happen until Sunday morning because they were drunk the night before. Even if you go completely off script, you had enough notes to mean something when you come back to it.

 

[old_prof]

I'm too much of a pantser to ever write scenes out of order, like some above suggested they do.

I generally outline shortly beyond where I'm writing. I can skip sex scenes and some discussions if I know what the gist of them will be. For sex scenes, that means knowing whether it's gentle loving or animalistic fucking? Do they break new ground or is it same ole same ole? I it make-up sex, celebration or something else altogether? Spontaneous or anticipated?

 

[NaughteeDragon]

I can’t skip writing sex scenes because I do character development/reveal during sex scenes. There’s usually too much emotion involved in my sex scenes to just “insert tab into slots A and B until finished.” If I am writing a scene like that, it’s probably only going to be a few sentences anyway.

 

[old_prof]

I can’t skip writing sex scenes because I do character development/reveal during sex scenes. There’s usually too much emotion involved in my sex scenes to just “insert tab into slots A and B until finished.” If I am writing a scene like that, it’s probably only going to be a few sentences anyway.

It depends on the scene for me. Some are too crucial and I can;t skip them. Others are important plot wise, but very little of the actual mechanics are, beyond the feel they give the story.

Sometimes I go back and decide the mechanics are not that important either and the whole thing gets summarized in a sentence or two. Or gets skipped although.

I do much more of my reveals in the post-coital snuggle/talks. I can remember one recent example of skipping the sex altogether and cutting straight to the lovers discussing how good it was. TBH, I have no idea what they specifically did, other than it was a new position to them and worked well. I think it works well.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm too much of a pantser to ever write scenes out of order, like some above suggested they do.

Me too, absolutely. There's no way I could ever put in an "Insert sex here" reminder. If my characters aren't ready for sex yet, there's always a reason for that. I have to keep writing, to find out what it is. Which is why my cafés and car rides are essential locations in my stories.

Right now, I've got both - my characters are definitely ready for sex, but they're in a café and it's a thirty minute commute to get back to Adam's apartment. So there's a train ride I've got to write before they hit the bed. I have no idea how that's going to go!

I generally outline shortly beyond where I'm writing.

I can't even do that. I had a story stall once, and thought, I know, I'll jot some plot points at the bottom of the page. Damn near stopped the story completely. I deleted the notes two days later, only then could I finish the story - and the end had nothing to do with the notes.

 

[JohnEngelman]

I rarely write sex scenes. When I read them I appreciate realism and psychological insight. I know what naked bodies look like. I know what happens during sexual intercourse. Reading about naked bodies engaged in sexual intercourse usually bores me.

Most of my writing is spontaneous. I do not compose. I write down what happens in my mind. Needless to say, I am not prolific. Right now I am rewriting a story I read decades ago. I have written the last half, and need to write the first half. I know what happens in the first half. Don't give me a deadline. I will finish it when I am good and ready. I may not finish it at all.

I have started two stories without finishing them. One is about a friendship between a black Union veteran of the Civil War and a white Confederate veteran. They go west as bounty hunters. After the Confederate veteran is killed the Union veteran helps protect a small town from a band of outlaws. When he rides into the town a lot of people don't like him because of his race. He wins their admiration. There is no sex in that story, There is a romance between the black guy and a young black woman who works at a hotel in the town he protects.

In my stories Christianity is often part of the atmosphere, but it is not the main thing.