Zarina the Dominatrix by me, Serena Steele Monroe

[MillieDynamite]

I just opened it and started reading, and found this mistake. Not trying to nitpick, 'cause everyone, especially me, makes typos. However, an editor would probably have caught this one and ed ending which should've been er.

Unless you're their conquered,

 

[SerenaSteeleMonroe]

I just opened it and started reading, and found this mistake. Not trying to nitpick, 'cause everyone, especially me, makes typos. However, an editor would probably have caught this one and ed ending which should've been er.

I thought I said, who've you conquered.

 

[lovecraft68]

Thanks, but I have thick skin, and you don't need to pull punches. I might or might not fight back. Cyber isn't a good fit for political discussions, too many touchstones to set off arguments. Far too easy to mistake tone in text, especially in quickly constructed arguments where a left-out word changes the meaning.

I'll pm you my thoughts in a bit, I don't think its anything that serious, at least not to people who aren't members of the professionally offended.

 

[SerenaSteeleMonroe]

Thanks, @lovecraft68!

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yet another five-star review from me. And while BNWO isn't my thing, you did a good job with this one, relying on the tropes made it more BNWO-ish.

 

[subdudeme13]

I have a couple of quick observations. I left a comment on the story and gave you five stars. Most of the suggestions have already been mentioned. If you're going to write for the BNWO crowd, you'll need to own that. Even if she's a paid professional, and terms have already been set, you need to emphasize the goals more clearly. She's not unlike your run-of-the-mill femdom, but she should be a proud advocate of her race and it's superiority. You should name the groups he is contributing to, and include some obscure religious order of BNWO, Church of the...name the stereotype. It's all made up bullshit, but that is what your readership wants. It's a bunch of insecure white men and women who genuinely believe white people are the source of all evil. I read about you wanting to change those tropes. But I don't think that is possible.

Just my musings.

I agree 200%. I didn't finish the story or rate it. My preference is for stories written by a dominant woman. Now if I could find stories by a black dominant woman that would be great!

 

[MillieDynamite]

I get the sense that SSM is a dominant woman, but a white one. Or did you mean from the woman's point of view?

I agree 200%. I didn't finish the story or rate it. My preference is for stories written by a dominant woman. Now if I could find stories by a black dominant woman that would be great!

 

[subdudeme13]

I get the sense that SSM is a dominant woman, but a white one. Or did you mean from the woman's point of view?

Yes. Preferably form a dominant woman and in my case preferably a black dominant woman. In my experience they are the best.

 

[SerenaSteeleMonroe]

Zarina is black.