❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you? how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)
What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

 

[EvaLane]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

I try not to impose the standards I have for myself onto my friends, but it’s much harder in practice rather than theory

I care for people by remembering them. Small mundane things, like breakfast preferences. Medium-importance things like their names, jobs

and the super duper important things like that one story from their childhood that led to them being super into a niche hobby that perfectly makes sense as to who they are as a person now.

So when I’m forgotten about sooooo casually - a huge insecurity happens within me and the relationship and I just can’t help but back up.

Shared vulnerability can’t be overstated in any of my relationships - friendships or flirtations or whatever the hell is happening here.

What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

Reality checks. Definitely.

 

[Dribble]

Oh girl....these questions are tough. Not because I don't know...but because they are a little too raw.

Unconditional love. I have had people that loved me. But it was never unconditional. Guess...that is because I am not sure I know how either?

For friends? I don't struggle here. I leave doors open. I am there if they need me. But I do have regrets losing touch with those I care about. I used to save everything online. Pics...phone numbers...addresses...birthdays...their kids birthdays. Then something happens...a phone dies...or computer dies...it has my passwords...fuck...and everything is gone. So I have gone back to the old fashioned black book. .

 

[Canbe4fun]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you?

Happy New Year!

I like to Live in the notion of doing/serving others without a thought to reciprocation. I have been lucky in having friends since the first grade, don’t speak for years, have a chance to say hello to them, without fail it’s like no time has passed.

I’m not pias, I just don’t like to put me in the center cause it can make it harder to dig out of a hole of my making.

how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)

I think it’s just best to do. I’m sure there are those who I may not seek out to help because the return wasn’t attempted after many occasions of trying to support them. But if they asked for help, I wouldn’t say no, or sure but you need to do this first…always be who you are, if you serve, serve

What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

Birthdays. I don’t prioritize mine, so I hurt those I care about. Part is memory issues too, I will spend the week before telling my self remember to do this Friday. And of course Friday at 10 pm, I’m 4 inches tall. Or worse with Time zones someone will remind me it’s their birthday…and I’m 4 inches tall…even my kids, and I was there lol

I can’t explain why this isn’t easy, but I need to do better…

 

[cheekygirl75]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you? how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)
What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

Happy New Year!

I can’t think of anything I give that I don’t get back… I think I’m pretty non-judgmental, but I feel like my friends are too. Maybe not some of my family… I could wish some of them were less judgmental. But that’s not necessarily about how they care for me, more so just their world outlook. Maybe I’ll come back to this as nothing is coming to me, really.

For what I wish I were better at giving people, I have to steal other answers - a reality check and remembering significant dates.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Happy New Year, and many more to come!

While we humans generally have a huge amount of potential in common, effectively no one develops exactly like anyone else. Thus, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, desires and dislikes to bring to a relationship, be that loving, friendly, co-worker, head-nod on the daily transport, what have you. To my mind, it seems like many of the stronger relationships develop when one side's strengths (mostly) dovetail with another's weaknesses, and vice versa. However, it is much more common for common interests to drive the formation of a relationship. This has the effect of tiering relationships - someone you get along great with watching sports at a bar, or cheering at a kid's event as proud parents, often does not lead to a stronger 'level' of relationships. It is completely possible that someone you get along with at one level is utterly unable to tie at another tier, and that goes both ways - A good coworker you'd never date, or a loved one who you have little in common with with regard to daily interests/motivation.

The best, of course, are those rare diamonds of relationships which are both.

In my opinion, 'course - YMMV.

 

[seela]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you? how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)

I wish I didn’t always have to be the organizer. I have a small group of friends that gets together a few times a year and I always have to be the one to initiate and organize it. If I didn’t, I think we would have lost contact years ago as a group. Yet, whenever we’re together, we have lots of fun and everyone always shows up, and they thank me for organizing it.

The same happens with a lot of my other friends, too. I usually have to be the one to initiate. I wish I could sometimes just be the one taking the backseat in my friendships, if that makes sense. This sounds so sad but I’d like to feel wanted in my friendships a little more often.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the years. Maybe I just initially somehow “friend” wrong and over the years the habits stick and that’s how I always end up in this role of having to be the one to initiate everything? Or maybe what I consider friendships aren’t really friendships to the other people? I don’t know.

What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

I wish I were better at saying things out loud. Giving those little, casual compliments or nice remarks. I used to have a person like that in my life, a colleague ages ago who did that, and she always brightened everybody’s day. She retired, but when she was around, I think everyone was a little nicer to each other, following her example.

It would be nice to be able to be that person, who cultivates that culture again, but it just doesn’t come naturally.

 

[Paul_Chance]

What is something you give that you wish you got in return?

Great answers from all. For me, I have no expectation of return, so when I give, I don’t expect anything back and so I really don’t have any wishes there.

Something someone gives…

Hmmm, I don’t think I have any particular wishes here either. My behavior has been honed over many years of behavior, so I’m comfortable with what I give and what I get - no wishes on either end of that spectrum.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you? how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)
What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

I'm the planner, the fixer, the idea person in most situations and I would love to have that energy matched. My type A personality simple can't help itself but I do hate to feel like a nag or a cat-wrangler. Anyone taking initiative or thinking through details before me leaves me in awe.

I wish I was better at memory things - dates, details, etc. I love it when someone remembers things like that about me and I wish I was better at that for other people.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?
Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them? Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

 

[Dribble]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?
Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them? Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

I swear...I think it is PLPs new year's resolution to make me feel exposed.

I am a romantic...of course I have. Written them and received them. I believe in the written word. Not typed. Written. I wish my writing was pretty to look at...but it is not. But my words bleed my soul...cause I simply write. I do not edit. If it makes the paper...it stays there. There is a reason I wrote it...even if I don't understand why I wrote them myself. We as a society have lost our ability to communicate. Yes...we should write more.

I have 6 office supply boxes...you know those cardboard bend and fold fuckers...one for each decade of my life. I have saved EVERY letter...card...pieces of memory...I have ever gotten. I have love letters from my first gf in high school. I have piece of a prom dress...she made it...I have pictures. Same is true for every gf...every wife. Do I re-read them? Not really. I mean i have. Just not open a box and read through them. Five or 6 years ago...when I moved out of Wyoming with my daughter...I went through them with the intention of tossing some. Instead I organized them. Speaking of my daughter...I have every picture she every drew...even the ones that took only 30 seconds to do as a scribble. If it went on the fridge...I have it.

If I ever choose to get in another relationship...she can read them. Ask any question. I would want her to know everything about how I tick. Good. Bad. Would it bother me if she kept her old ones? No. Unless we are already on shaky ground...and that would be on me. Not her.

What do I ask not to be hid? Not rocket science...your heart. Your truths. If you are hiding your phone...I will notice...even if it don't immediately say anything. I don't share well. I am an only child. I must have the blue marble (cause the blue marble is faster and it always won). I don't write letters sharing my inner thoughts...if I don't want only you.

 

[cheekygirl75]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?
Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them? Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

I’ve neither written one nor received one. But I do think we should write more. Writing a letter feels more personal and special than other means of communicating. I think I would keep them, maybe unless the relationship was abusive in some way. I might reread them when I was down, I don’t know if it would be for comfort or to torture myself… depends on how the relationship ended. I don’t know if it would bother me - it depends on if they tend to hold onto things in general, then I think I wouldn’t mind. If, however, they were the type to declutter often and not keep sentimental things, it might worry me a little. No current partner so I can’t answer the last one.

 

[TomTeacher19]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one?

Yes. More than one.

Received one?

Yes. More than one

Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?

I l think hand written letters are the best. Not just for love letters but in general too

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them?

I have in the past

Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex?

I think I would have said yes in the past but I've evolved to a different perspective that I could be okay with that.

Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

Yes, but mostly because I said I got rid of them (which I did).

 

[Whiskeyjack]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one?

Many.

Received one?

A few.

Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?

More. Always more.

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended?

I have some from old relationships. I haven't looked at them in years, though.

Reread them?

Maybe once every 10 years I'll think about them and might pull one out. But they're not exactly something I keep at my fingertips.

Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex?

Not at all. We all have people in our pasts who made us who we are. Who taught us how to love (or sometimes how not to). As long as she's not re-reading them constantly, pining for her ex-lover, I don't mind one bit if she has a few mementos including letters.

Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

There's a box somewhere in the basement with old pictures, letters, keepsakes from past flames. If my wife hasn't torched it yet after 20 years of marriage, I don't think she's going to. But again... it'd be a different story if I were constantly revisiting that box and pining for the past. Since I'm not, it's not really an issue.

 

[Wand3rlust]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one?

Yes.

Received one?

No. Not on paper. Emails.

Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?

more. Definitely more. There should be no pressure, but I'd love to write and receive them.

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them?

I have the emails still. Ones sent, ones received. And yes. Occasionally I get a pang of nostalgia.

Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

No. It wouldn't. Similar to @Whiskeyjack , unless there was some weird stalkerish shrine. That could be an issues. I'm not great at red flags. But I think that could be one.

I love to read back what someone has said to me. And what I have said to someone.

 

[GetNerdy]

I really love this topic.

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?

I've written them, and received them. To me they're love letters, at least. They aren't "my dearest object of perfection, I yearn for the day we are once more intertwined!" but they're cute fun reminders of a life well lived.
We should definitely write more love letters. I'll take any opportunity to show the 21st century hasn't ground all the feeling outta me. It is probably outdated but I definitely am too.

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them?

I do keep them! They're in a shoebox under the couch I'm sat on right now. I'm not sure I'd get anything from rereading them so I don't, but I love that I could.

Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

I did once date someone who was totally offended that I still had old letters. Each to their own but I think it's missing the point. Our current relationships are always a result of where we've previously been, and I've never been one for "ok we've broken up, let's delete all the photos and have a ceremonial burning of all memories in the yard" though actually that does sound fun now I've typed it, and a great excuse for marshmallows.

But no it wouldn't bother me if my partner had old letters. Unless she was clutching them to her heaving bosom and looking longingly out of a window on a Wednesday evening. Save that kinda thing for a Monday.

 

[Shenanigans90]

And what I have said to someone.

Wow???

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

01.15.26

(Too late for a happy new year??)

What is something you give that you with you wish you got in return? (i.e. how are you a friend to others in a way that you wish someone was a friend to you? how do you care for someone that you wish you got cared for in return?)
What is something someone gives you that you want to be better at giving others?

As much as possible, I give without hope of return, and sometimes get back even more than I hoped for. A particular case: My GF had a very bad case of the flu, which caused severe muscle pain, among other things.The first day that the doctors said she was non-contagious, I went to see her. She'd been sick for a while, and I
was horny as hell. She'd given me a key, and when I called, she said to let myself in, and she'd be in the bedroom. I trust I don't need to explain what I was thinking.

But when I got to her bedroom, I found she still had aches that made movement difficult, and she wouldn't be able to support my weight. I kissed her and asked, "Can you spread your legs without pain? She said "yes" as she spread them. I suggested we make this session about her and not worry about me. I set to work on her clit with my eager tongue. When she finally said stop, we had both lost count of her orgasms, but it must have been around 20. She then asked me to cum between her large tits, which by now took about 3 strokes of my hand. I went into her bathroom, got a washcloth and towel, and cleaned up her chest. I then kissed her goodbye and went on my way. After she had fully recovered, she repaid my generosity tenfold.

That was over thirty years ago, and I still remember it like yesterday.

 

[BongoGal]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them?

I’ve always kept my correspondence with exes unless I’m specifically told to delete them…and no one has ever told me that. I did have one fellow act baffled when I responded to an email he sent years earlier. I gathered that he emptied his inbox a couple times per year. On a different note, an old ex popped up on Facebook last week, and I went back to read an old email he wrote. While looking for it, I stumbled upon a solicited dick pic he sent about a decade ago. I refrained from forwarding it to him.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one?

Like a physical one, not digital? Yes. But not in a long time.

Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?

I think writing physical letters is a very nice idea. But should is a strong word. There’s something to the passion of a frantic in the moment sext exchange but there’s also something to the slower passion of a letter. I don’t know, do what works for you. I ain’t Jane Austen.

Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them?

I’m a bit of a hoarder but I don’t tend to keep this sort of ephemera. Part of the beauty of it is to me, the transitory nature of it? Also I have a pretty good memory anyway.

Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex?

She doesn’t have any exes so it’s hard to speculate. But probably not

Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

Probably!

 

[CuriousCat89]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?
Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them? Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

I have some from my husband from when he was deployed.
I had some from my lit ex which I have since thrown away along with everything else they gave me. I'm sure they still have them in spite of me asking that they be destroyed. Because why would they do what I asked at the end of a relationship? It bothers me tremendously that they had not thrown them away, but I guess hoarders gonna hoard.
It wouldn't bother me if my husband had them, but he doesn't so maybe that's why I say can that!

 

[EvaLane]

01.20.26

Love Letters

I wrote a letter once.

My handwriting was awful, worse than it is now, undoubtably due to how nervous I was writing it. Despite the restraints, I poured everything into that letter, equal parts love and hate, need and rejection. Ultimately, I ended it asking for peace during a time that was reflecting anything but.

I folded that little letter up and put it somewhere they would find it.

and they must have found it. Read it. Felt it, unless they really can’t feel anything at all. Maybe they can’t.

Because ultimately, the letter went unanswered, unnoticed, un-relevant. So I keep my letters to myself now, most of my poetry and stories too.

It’s not like a “I’m not worthy of writing” thing it’s more of a “they aren’t worthy of receiving” and I’ve hardly found many people worth opening myself up to since. Soooo. Nope, I’ve never written a true love letter and I’ve never received one either.

Or maybe I have and it’s just gone unanswered, unnoticed, and un-relevant

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I wrote a letter once.

Despite the restraints,

I’m impressed!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I wrote a letter once.

My handwriting was awful, worse than it is now, undoubtably due to how nervous I was writing it. Despite the restraints, I poured everything into that letter, equal parts love and hate, need and rejection. Ultimately, I ended it asking for peace during a time that was reflecting anything but.

I folded that little letter up and put it somewhere they would find it.

and they must have found it. Read it. Felt it, unless they really can’t feel anything at all. Maybe they can’t.

Because ultimately, the letter went unanswered, unnoticed, un-relevant. So I keep my letters to myself now, most of my poetry and stories too.

It’s not like a “I’m not worthy of writing” it’s more of a “they aren’t worthy of receiving” and I’ve hardly found many people worth opening myself up to since. Soooo. Nope, I’ve never written a true love letter and I’ve never received one either.

Or maybe I have and it’s just gone unanswered, unnoticed, and un-relevant

But more seriously. Ouch, yeah. That’s rough. Maybe not the worst response to being vulnerable and sincere but silence is a damn bad one!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.20.26

Love Letters

Have you written one? Received one? Do you think love letters are an outdated form of affection or do you think we should write more love letters?
Do you keep them even if the relationship has ended? Reread them? Would it bother you if a current partner kept love notes from an ex? Would it bother your current partner if you kept some?

I have written a few and it's always hard. Not because I don't feel the love but because putting the bigness of the feeling makes me feel so vulnerable. And I've been lucky enough to receive a few. I don't really see any difference here between written and typed love notes. I do think we should write more. I should write more. If there is anything the world needs now is more vulnerability, sweetness and love. It's the only antidote for the snark and hatred and chaos.

I do keep them. I keep almost anything someone took the time to write to me specifically. I have re-read them but not too often. There is something very beautiful about remembering how much someone loves/loved you but it can be a bittersweet feeling best not revisited often.

It really wouldn't bother me in the slightest if an ex kept things that meant something to him from a past relationship (obviously short of using them to pine over someone). I think it's nice to have partners with the maturity to appreciate the feelings of the past and the people they had those feelings for. It's giving "well-adjusted". I don't think it would bother either of my partners. I think they are both people who find value in the sentimental which I love.