👉 Honey's GFD Hangout and Conversation Pit 👈

[Blue]

I think the print on the curtains is pretty and that's about it! I'm more of a hippie/Shabby Chic/World Market sort of girl, myself.

Which brings up a good question: How would you decorate a play space in your home?

I can't do a lot of dark or bright colors, I find them very overstimulating and they give me a migraine. I think it would be awesome to do a steampunk theme, but I'd need to soften it up a bit. Lots of neutrals and natural fibers to contrast with the metallics. Browns, greys, greens, golds and silvers. Maybe some blue or purple, but no black and no red, those are hard limits. :caning:

I get what you mean about toned down steampunk. It sounds like you want a sort of late Victorian era/pseudo-gothic theme? Lots of dark, dry, wood? Or the more grandiose kind of steampunk?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

OK I had to look up steampunk LOL.

*DEAD*

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I get what you mean about toned down steampunk. It sounds like you want a sort of late Victorian era/pseudo-gothic theme? Lots of dark, dry, wood? Or the more grandiose kind of steampunk?

Victorian is too heavy and ornate for me. That second pic is gorgeous!

I guess I'm thinking of a steampunk lite/industrial thing, but comfy, not all cold, hard surfaces and sharp angles. I like the leather!

I'll see if I can find something...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Question: Could you do a D/s relationship without sex?
Could you experience power exchange, emotional intimacy, and affection without needing to go further?

 

[msub50some]

Question: Could you do a D/s relationship without sex?
Could you experience power exchange, emotional intimacy, and affection without needing to go further?

That might be what I'm experiencing with my wife.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

That might be what I'm experiencing with my wife.

Would you like to tell us more?

 

[msub50some]

Would you like to tell us more?

Maybe I should. We haven't had sex in years, but we do get along well. I try to do things for her. Maybe I could be more attentive. Intimacy doesn't come easily.

 

[Zionisacat]

A drink named for me! Can't wait to taste it!

Assuming you haven't tasted Wild turkeys american Honey then? Dangerously smooth and seductive. Very easy on the lips but almost guaranteed to leave you flat on your face by the end of the night.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Maybe I should. We haven't had sex in years, but we do get along well. I try to do things for her. Maybe I could be more attentive. Intimacy doesn't come easily.

Is the no sex by mutual consent? Something you both want?

 

[msub50some]

Is the no sex by mutual consent? Something you both want?

No. I want sex.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Question: Could you do a D/s relationship without sex?
Could you experience power exchange, emotional intimacy, and affection without needing to go further?

No. I want sex.

I thought you might. In which case, your situation doesn't quite fit the question, at least your half of it.

But if your wife were here, you think she might answer yes?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Assuming you haven't tasted Wild turkeys american Honey then? Dangerously smooth and seductive. Very easy on the lips but almost guaranteed to leave you flat on your face by the end of the night.

I'm afraid I don't get much opportunity to have a drink, but I'll put it on my try list. Thank you!

 

[cookiecat]

'Wild Honey' actually would be a good name for an alcoholic drink.
I'm thinking a malty or fruity with a tinge of woodsmoke flavoured whisky.
It feels hot, tastes kind of spicy, emanates a strong aroma of assorted fruits, and stings your mouth.

This sounds delish

 

[cookiecat]

Question: Could you do a D/s relationship without sex?
Could you experience power exchange, emotional intimacy, and affection without needing to go further?

I have done this. It was like having a life coach.

These day, though, I don't really want to invest the energy in that kind of relationship. I will say it was nifty to have someone to check in with on a (usually) day to day basis. Have my feet held to the fire.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This sounds delish

It does, doesn't it? (Except for the stinging part )

Hi cookie!

 

[msub50some]

I thought you might. In which case, your situation doesn't quite fit the question, at least your half of it.

But if your wife were here, you think she might answer yes?

She'd probably say yes. It was her who initially said she didn't want sex anymore. We've only had sex once after that (and I'm really not why she initiated it). I've come to accept it and don't try to initiate anymore. Even when we were having sex, she didn't want anything very kinky and certainly not any D/s. I've always had a submissive nature, so even without sex, I'll do what I can to serve her.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I have done this. It was like having a life coach.

These day, though, I don't really want to invest the energy in that kind of relationship. I will say it was nifty to have someone to check in with on a (usually) day to day basis. Have my feet held to the fire.

Great example! I love the daily check-ins, the Good Mornings and Goodnights.

I think I miss those affirmations of our connection the most when someone is gone.

She'd probably say yes. It was her who initially said she didn't want sex anymore. We've only had sex once after that (and I'm really not why she initiated it). I've come to accept it and don't try to initiate anymore. Even when we were having sex, she didn't want anything very kinky and certainly not any D/s. I've always had a submissive nature, so even without sex, I'll do what I can to serve her.

So you are doing a one-sided D/s dynamic, and agreeing to play by her rules, even though they don't meet your needs? I'd say that probably describes a lot of us at one point or another.

 

[msub50some]

Great example! I love the daily check-ins, the Good Mornings and Goodnights.

I think I miss those affirmations of our connection the most when someone is gone.



So you are doing a one-sided D/s dynamic, and agreeing to play by her rules, even though they don't meet your needs? I'd say that probably describes a lot of us at one point or another.

I expect you're probably right about the one-sided D/s dynamic. I do like cookie's description, though, of the daily check-ins and affirmations.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I expect you're probably right about the one-sided D/s dynamic. I do like cookie's description, though, of the daily check-ins and affirmations.

Yes, the check-ins, that's a big thing for me. It tells me that I'm important, I matter, and that they care about me.

 

[msub50some]

Yes, the check-ins, that's a big thing for me. It tells me that I'm important, I matter, and that they care about me.

Good point. I should make sure I do that in my one-sided dynamic.

 

[cookiecat]

I expect you're probably right about the one-sided D/s dynamic. I do like cookie's description, though, of the daily check-ins and affirmations.

What's hard for me to imagine is how the sex rules change over time within a relationship. I've talked to lots of people - both men and women - who say after x years of marriage, the sex just fell away.

As a 56 year old woman, I understand there are physical changes that take place making it difficult to have and therefor want sex. I've been through the dreaded M word (menopause) and it is WAYYY different. Way. But jeez louise - I can't imagine giving up sex or intimacy. I think about sex a lot! Like how can I keep my lady parts in sync with my brain? Some days I'm like "ok cookie, force yourself to masturbate, just give it a try" -- sometimes it works, other times I'm just not in to it but I want to keep trying!!!

I haven't been sexual or had any closeness because of husband's illness. Our sex rules changed because of his ALS. It was tough. At times, he'd be horny, but because he couldn't move, I did all the heavy lifting, so to speak. It satisfied an itch but very temporarily. The last 2 years, he was just too tired.

Like you, msub50, I identify as submissive. I enjoy service to my guy. So for a while, when I quit my job to take care of him, it really did give me a satisfied feeling. I had the time to be his, to focus on him. After about 2 years of this, frankly, from a D/s aspect, it sucked. I was a slave to his disease, not him.

Having a one-sided relationship, with nothing coming back at you, is frustrating to continue serving with a happy heart and happy genitals.

 

[cookiecat]

I expect you're probably right about the one-sided D/s dynamic. I do like cookie's description, though, of the daily check-ins and affirmations.

Yes, the check-ins, that's a big thing for me. It tells me that I'm important, I matter, and that they care about me.

Isn't it interesting that all we ask / need to feel validated is a check-in from someone who cares? It doesn't seem that hard. Apparently, it is.

BensSweetSubmissive started this post in Talk and I thought it was appropriate for some of this dicussion:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1473687

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I've always had a submissive nature, so even without sex, I'll do what I can to serve her.

Ftr, I am primarily submissive, and I lived for a solid ten years in conditions that would qualify as a sexless marriage, trying to submit to and please my vanilla husband the best way that I knew how.

It's rough... I admire your commitment.

 

[msub50some]

Ftr, I am primarily submissive, and I lived for a solid ten years in conditions that would qualify as a sexless marriage, trying to submit to and please my vanilla husband the best way that I knew how.

It's rough... I admire your commitment.

Thank you, but I haven't always been the best. I've strayed, had flings, get too involved online. She knows of most of it--I confessed when she confronted me with what she knew, and I think that's partly why she doesn't want sex anymore. It wasn't that way at first, in fact it got better. One day, though -- about 4 years ago, she just told me she didn't want sex anymore.

 

[bluekitty69]

I'm torn between pouring my heart over my lack of finding a true male sub who understands the need to submit to a woman someone who wishes to be of service to a domme and knows the release of surendering control and power to a women.

Or rant about men who fake it and use bait and switch to find a willing women to literally fuck over, I've been burned a few times and it gets a little discouraging.
Is it just me? Should I put myself out there more get more engaged in the munchs and meet ups in my area? Or is it male subs are just unicorns?
Not looking for any advice or to gain sympathy, I'm sure everyone has their own struggles!

Well looks like I managed to rant about two things! Lol!...