2024 Poetry Challenge Discussion Thread

[Angeline]

Part of what happens on this board is critiquing on another's writing. You only learn to be better as a writer by taking constructive criticism as a writer. If all you want to do is stay where you're at as a writer and never grow, That's fine. That's all you. But if you want to grow as a writer, You have to learn, as all of us on here have had to learn, how to take critiques and comments on your work and grow from those.

Not everyone who writes here wants feedback. You can agree or disagree with that, but please respect people's wishes here when they say they aren't interested in critique. I've been here for over twenty years and the unspoken policy, which I now see needs clarification, is we allow people space to write and grow as poets in ways that work best for individuals. If you look back through the threads you'll see some are workshop oriented so people can choose intensive critique if that's what they want. And if they don't, that's fine. In fact many threads here (going back many years) are discussion free.

Furthermore chastising others because they don't agree with you is alienating and unproductive. I realize you have credentials as a poet: you've made that clear in many of your posts. You'd be surprised, perhaps, that others here have studied and taught poetry, been editors, and been published many times over. But people here tend to lead with modesty and provide support if and when someone asks for it. It's about respect.

Broken_paladin, you're an important part of this forum and I've very much enjoyed reading your poems. Please don't go.

Wonderer, Butters' suggestion is excellent. I'd recommend you let discussion happen in the thread she linked. If you agree I can move all the non-poem posts there. Not a problem at all.

 

[Angeline]

That is fine, and I will DM you with my direct feedback later.

Let’s keep this thread, open for the poems and not derail it.

Please put any and all poetry feedback in the discussion thread.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/2024-poetry-challenge-discussion-thread.1601666/

Oops just saw this. I'm on it!

 

[Wonderer67]

Thanks Angeline!

 

[Ambient4190]

luckily I write the shit for me and not for you.. I wasnt aware this was a discussion board. Please leave your comments for someone who would appreciate them, but that isnt me. All you have done is make me want to not come here at all.

hey Broken_paladin - to date, my absolute favorite of your poems posted Nov 18, 2023 #608 in the 2023 Challenge thread Keep on keeping on...

 

[42Below]

I get what you're saying and respect that people know their own poems and what they want them to do. However my experience has been that readers often get something very different from the read than the writer intended. And that's fine. But, for me, any feedback that results in me (the writer) having to say what was intended with the words I chose is a sign that maybe something isn't working for readers. And if anyone besides the writer is going to see the poem that's important. Maybe I'm wrong: I'm giving critique, not criticism but, like I said, food for thought.

Often when I write, I write with the understanding, interpretation will be the business of the reader. Mine is to let it loose. In this way a poem once released takes on a life all of its own. When lucky, I get to hear about how ‘they’ are doing.

 

[AlinaX]

I write my words in lines of two
and twine them tight 'bout sugarcane

 

[Angeline]

Often when I write, I write with the understanding, interpretation will be the business of the reader. Mine is to let it loose. In this way a poem once released takes on a life all of its own. When lucky, I get to hear about how ‘they’ are doing.

Right. I agree. However if I mention that I don't understand something in a poem and the poet says something like "what it's supposed to mean is ..." I think why not revise it so readers have a better chance of understanding what you intended? If I can clarify my meaning I want to do that. I recognize that readers bring their own experiences to a read and that colors interpretation, but I still want to do my best to make my intended meaning clear.

 

[42Below]

Right. I agree. However if I mention that I don't understand something in a poem and the poet says something like "what it's supposed to mean is ..." I think why not revise it so readers have a better chance of understanding what you intended? If I can clarify my meaning I want to do that. I recognize that readers bring their own experiences to a read and that colors interpretation, but I still want to do my best to make my intended meaning clear.

You do so marvelously make a good point.

 

[42Below]

As we know. There are many ways to end a poem. Sometimes, I feel a great poem ending is a frontier begging a rereading.

 

[Angeline]

As we know. There are many ways to end a poem. Sometimes, I feel a great poem ending is a frontier begging a rereading.

I read poems I love over and over. It's like rereading my favorite novels or rewatching films I love. I always find something new to consider. And I memorize poem endings, sometimes even whole poems, that I love. Do you? (And by *you* I mean anyone reading this who cares to respond!)

Many of my favorites are from W.B. Yeats, who I adore. I especially like the ending of Among School Children. It was written near the end of his life and the whole poem has a vibe of maturity and wisdom. But the ending is magical~

O chestnut tree, great rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?

(Source: Collected Poems of WB Yeats, 1989)

 

[42Below]

You do so marvellously make a good point

I write my words in lines of two
and twine them tight 'bout sugarcane

In my dreams, I write my poems between the lines and hope like f_ck the reader finds them.

 

[42Below]

Sometimes I like a poem title as a key that unlocks a door full.

 

[42Below]

Paradise

Sometimes
it's the way you take
my hand or wrap an arm
about my waist, fingers resting
lightly on my hip, thumb sliding
along its curve, all statements
to signify I own her.

I want nothing
more than to be yours,
to share these gestures,
the language of intimacy,
that bind us in desire.

Later when you move in me,
both of us quaking with pleasure,
eyes aglow, we know
this wordless message,
the silent exchange of lust
and love.

I liked the way this poem takes the man’s hands ‘lightly’ to tell on him. There is so much packed into that thought that I feel mentally impregnated eww Angeline stop it (forgive me poetry gods for I am unruly). Doing my best.

 

[Wand3rlust]

I've been watching this forum and threads for age, but never got brave enough to post.

So. Thanks all.

 

[42Below]

A RANT

My poem, titled Lust in Comic Relief keeps getting sent back by those arse vanilla Lit poetry guardians for ‘spelling mistakes.’ GRRRRRRR Why can’t they get it, mangling words, inarticulate sounds ARE legit poetical devices???
GRRRRRR and SOS Help!

How the FREAK do I get through to these Barsetards??

Desperately seeking Editors please (nobody wants to edit poetry!)

Direction welcome

 

[Angeline]

A RANT

My poem, titled Lust in Comic Relief keeps getting sent back by those arse vanilla Lit poetry guardians for ‘spelling mistakes.’ GRRRRRRR Why can’t they get it, mangling words, inarticulate sounds ARE legit poetical devices???
GRRRRRR and SOS Help!

How the FREAK do I get through to these Barsetards??

Desperately seeking Editors please (nobody wants to edit poetry!)

Direction welcome

As you likely know, no one here on the forum is involved with the submissions process, so all we can do on this end is conjecture and suggest possible fixes. I assume your poem is not being rejected for failing to meet Literotica's submissions guidelines and only for editorial issues. If you feel your poem is correct (i.e., what you intended), you can resubmit it with a note explaining that the "errors" they're flagging are meant to be there. That should resolve the issue.

I haven't submitted any poems for years, but pretty sure there's still a box on the submission form where you can add notes, special instructions, etc. if I'm wrong, someone more up to date on the process can correct me...and help you out!

 

[42Below]

As you likely know, no one here on the forum is involved with the submissions process, so all we can do on this end is conjecture and suggest possible fixes. I assume your poem is not being rejected for failing to meet Literotica's submissions guidelines and only for editorial issues. If you feel your poem is correct (i.e., what you intended), you can resubmit it with a note explaining that the "errors" they're flagging are meant to be there. That should resolve the issue.

I haven't submitted any poems for years, but pretty sure there's still a box on the submission form where you can add notes, special instructions, etc. if I'm wrong, someone more up to date on the process can correct me...and help you out!

Doh! gulp, oh yeah that box… Um, thanks

 

[Wand3rlust]

The alliteration in the last line has me wondering what if you did that with the other lines.... the 1st with the L, the 2nd with the U and so on.

I did try that to see if I could re do it, but.. U stumped me.

 

[JaySecrets]

I did try that to see if I could re do it, but.. U stumped me.

May I try? This will drive me nuts if I don't

 

[Wand3rlust]

Please do - I will be interested to see!

 

[JaySecrets]

Liberated by your longing
Unraveled by your undulation
Seduced by your sweet
Teased by your touch


How's this?

 

[Wand3rlust]

I may have gone for 'sighs'.

I'm still not convinced the 'U' works!

But you did better than I managed!

 

[JaySecrets]

I may have gone for 'sighs'.

I'm still not convinced the 'U' works!

But you did better than I managed!

Now you try.

 

[Angeline]

I may have gone for 'sighs'.

I'm still not convinced the 'U' works!

But you did better than I managed!

It's all a matter of taste, isn't it? For me, too much alliteration can make a poem, especially a short poem, seem like it's trying too hard to be "poetic." I prefer your original version: I think it works better with just the one alliterated line. And if "unraveled" feels wrong to you, maybe "undone" would work? Just my opinion (and taste) of course.

Otoh there's nothing wrong with playing around with the tools of poetry like alliteration to see what you get.

My years here have taught me that if I ask five poets how I might strengthen my poem (or line or even word), I'll likely get five different, mostly conflicting opinions!

 

[JaySecrets]

It's all a matter of taste, isn't it? For me, too much alliteration can make a poem, especially a short poem, seem like it's trying too hard to be "poetic." I prefer your original version: I think it works better with just the one alliterated line. And if "unraveled" feels wrong to you, maybe "undone" would work? Just my opinion (and taste) of course.

Otoh there's nothing wrong with playing around with the tools of poetry like alliteration to see what you get.

My years here have taught me that if I ask five poets how I might strengthen my poem (or line or even word), I'll likely get five different, mostly conflicting opinions!

I actually agree... I just wanted to see it if it was played with a bit....

Wait, that sounded way less dirty in my head.