24/7 TPE - What does it look like
- Thread starter Richard49
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WillowPuss
serene in submission
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Richard - just to let you know that I have seen your questions to me ... I will respond once I have a quiet house!
willow
willow
WillowPuss
serene in submission
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I will try to expand as you requested, Richard.
However, our rituals are, and will remain, private.
The punishment table is done on a points system and once I have clocked up 10 points, I KNOW what to expect!
(Master has just pointed out to me that a 'punishment table' might lead some to think of it as an item of furniture! Alas, this is not the case ... just a tarif of how points will be given! (Sorry if I confused anyone))
Outward signs:
I am not sure how I can clarify this.
Let me try and give examples ... recently we went to a pub (bar) for a drink. Master showed me where to sit and I waited until he returned. Previously, I would have accompanied him to the bar.
Now, when I am going to leave the room, I will say 'I am just going to the kitchen to start the dinner, if you will excuse me' I then wait for his response before going.
Those aren't brilliant examples, but its all I can think of right now. So many thing I do are just part of my everyday life now, that I can't really set them out.
As for names, when we are alone (privately or publically where we cannot be overheard) I call Him Master. At other times, I will use an endearment such as 'sweet'. He will call me willow or darling. We do not often use our first names, but by whatever means we address each other, WE know we mean Master and willow.
Sorry, Richard - but that will have to do ... just cannot find the words to clarify anything further.
willow
However, our rituals are, and will remain, private.
The punishment table is done on a points system and once I have clocked up 10 points, I KNOW what to expect!
(Master has just pointed out to me that a 'punishment table' might lead some to think of it as an item of furniture! Alas, this is not the case ... just a tarif of how points will be given! (Sorry if I confused anyone))
Outward signs:
I am not sure how I can clarify this.
Let me try and give examples ... recently we went to a pub (bar) for a drink. Master showed me where to sit and I waited until he returned. Previously, I would have accompanied him to the bar.
Now, when I am going to leave the room, I will say 'I am just going to the kitchen to start the dinner, if you will excuse me' I then wait for his response before going.
Those aren't brilliant examples, but its all I can think of right now. So many thing I do are just part of my everyday life now, that I can't really set them out.
As for names, when we are alone (privately or publically where we cannot be overheard) I call Him Master. At other times, I will use an endearment such as 'sweet'. He will call me willow or darling. We do not often use our first names, but by whatever means we address each other, WE know we mean Master and willow.
Sorry, Richard - but that will have to do ... just cannot find the words to clarify anything further.
willow
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
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Re: Re: Is 24/7 possible?
Yep. We have only gone out acouple of times and he does open the doors, even car doors. And when we are out, he fetches my drinks and does whatever I ask.
In fact, if I get to the door first, I will wait and he scrambles to get it cause he knows he's in for it!
Richard49 said:
Yep. We have only gone out acouple of times and he does open the doors, even car doors. And when we are out, he fetches my drinks and does whatever I ask.
In fact, if I get to the door first, I will wait and he scrambles to get it cause he knows he's in for it!
Kirabeth
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not sure i'd call it 24/7 but it fits us
I'm good with words, and my spelling is aweful so bare with me.
I think its just the little things like I'v eheard so many times in this post, and feel its just what fits the people involved but thought maybe if I posted a few of the things that are just a part of who and what I am to Him it might be a bit helpful to someone in some small way.
I am his wife, the mother of his children (we have 3) and his sub, one does not come before ther other in my role as to what I am to him nor in what he is to me He is My husbdand, my best friend, and My Master.
I always no matter where we are wor is around call him Sir this is something that is natural to me and those who know us. Even when I childen are present I call him Sir to us it just helps renforce in them respect for others and has helped to teach them manners.
I walkon his left with my right arm tucked in his. I usually sit beside him on his left as well unless he tells me to do otherwise.In household chors they ar emy resposibility although we take turns wit the cooking but mostly just becaus ehe enjoys cooking and is better at then I am.
I wear what he chooses fo rme to wear down to the color of my socks. I always ask permission to leave a room when he os present and always ask for permission to go to the bathroom.
I bathe him or with him depending on his mood.
If i go out if just to the store I always make sure he knows which store or where I am and who I am with, if for anyreason i find my plans change or i have to go to a differnt store becasue the one I said i was going to was closed etc, I call him and let him know why my plans changed and what the new plans are and await fo rheim to tell me if its ok before i just go.
I wear a leather collar that belongs to him, although I do not wear it 24/7 , I have worn it in private as well as in public, and when he does not which me to wear the collar I wear a silver chair with his initail on it, so that 24.7 no matter which one he has chosen for me to wear i am always wearing his mark in some form.
I kn ow there are more little things that make and define our relationship in someform or another that I just can't think of because they come so natuarally I don't have to think of them i just do them or He just does them. But knowing I am rambling (Because He just informed me that I was) I'll close t his post and hope it was at least what the thread was asking for in some small way.
I'm good with words, and my spelling is aweful so bare with me.
I think its just the little things like I'v eheard so many times in this post, and feel its just what fits the people involved but thought maybe if I posted a few of the things that are just a part of who and what I am to Him it might be a bit helpful to someone in some small way.
I am his wife, the mother of his children (we have 3) and his sub, one does not come before ther other in my role as to what I am to him nor in what he is to me He is My husbdand, my best friend, and My Master.
I always no matter where we are wor is around call him Sir this is something that is natural to me and those who know us. Even when I childen are present I call him Sir to us it just helps renforce in them respect for others and has helped to teach them manners.
I walkon his left with my right arm tucked in his. I usually sit beside him on his left as well unless he tells me to do otherwise.In household chors they ar emy resposibility although we take turns wit the cooking but mostly just becaus ehe enjoys cooking and is better at then I am.
I wear what he chooses fo rme to wear down to the color of my socks. I always ask permission to leave a room when he os present and always ask for permission to go to the bathroom.
I bathe him or with him depending on his mood.
If i go out if just to the store I always make sure he knows which store or where I am and who I am with, if for anyreason i find my plans change or i have to go to a differnt store becasue the one I said i was going to was closed etc, I call him and let him know why my plans changed and what the new plans are and await fo rheim to tell me if its ok before i just go.
I wear a leather collar that belongs to him, although I do not wear it 24/7 , I have worn it in private as well as in public, and when he does not which me to wear the collar I wear a silver chair with his initail on it, so that 24.7 no matter which one he has chosen for me to wear i am always wearing his mark in some form.
I kn ow there are more little things that make and define our relationship in someform or another that I just can't think of because they come so natuarally I don't have to think of them i just do them or He just does them. But knowing I am rambling (Because He just informed me that I was) I'll close t his post and hope it was at least what the thread was asking for in some small way.
MotorCitySam
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Re: Is 24/7 possible?
I agree with this, Ebonyfire. I think it is just too much pressure for someone to have to be in control all the time. WillowPuss mentioned her Dom deciding what clothes for her to buy. I could not do that, for one thing, I dont have as good of taste as Caroline, and more importantly, I just dont want to do it. It seems to me that a Dominant will pick and choose when to exercise their dominance.
Ebonyfire said:
I agree with this, Ebonyfire. I think it is just too much pressure for someone to have to be in control all the time. WillowPuss mentioned her Dom deciding what clothes for her to buy. I could not do that, for one thing, I dont have as good of taste as Caroline, and more importantly, I just dont want to do it. It seems to me that a Dominant will pick and choose when to exercise their dominance.
MotorCitySam
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Re: What I enjoy about this thread...
Yes, this has been an informative and enlightening discussion so far, thanks to all.
Lancecastor said:
Yes, this has been an informative and enlightening discussion so far, thanks to all.
KestralWolfe
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I have, in my life, been in ltr 24/7's. In those relationships, my sub/slave would do the cooking, cleaning, bathe me, dress me, act as a footstool, ashtray holder, or table, light my cigarettes, open doors for me, drive me around, shop for me, and myriad other things.
In public, my sub/slave would use politely worded requests for anything, have my glass refilled, would look to me for approval if she were addressed, or, if I were absent would politely answer questions directed at her, or if we were in space that was sympathetic to bdsm, would ask the person(s) to ask me if she were allowed to converse with them.
There is a very long list I used, a list of rules, and each rule had a consequence atattched to it, in the case of failure.
I am not sure I could have a 24/7 anymore, simply because mikey and I are both butch, both impetuous occasionally, and just enjoy being around eachother. *shrugs* Time will tell, though, what happens with my sweet mikey.
I hope this was at all helpfull, Richard, be well, be safe, be happy,
Kes
In public, my sub/slave would use politely worded requests for anything, have my glass refilled, would look to me for approval if she were addressed, or, if I were absent would politely answer questions directed at her, or if we were in space that was sympathetic to bdsm, would ask the person(s) to ask me if she were allowed to converse with them.
There is a very long list I used, a list of rules, and each rule had a consequence atattched to it, in the case of failure.
I am not sure I could have a 24/7 anymore, simply because mikey and I are both butch, both impetuous occasionally, and just enjoy being around eachother. *shrugs* Time will tell, though, what happens with my sweet mikey.
I hope this was at all helpfull, Richard, be well, be safe, be happy,
Kes
Just thought I'd jump in and ask a few questions to no one in particular, This topic intrigues me !
What do you class as a TPE relationship?
I would have thought that one persons idea of TPE is not necessarily the idea of anothers.
Obviously, if a Dom/me and sub were to enter into something that was TPE, they should have a similar interpretation of TPE.
Is it a continuation of some of the things you might normally do like open doors for each other but because you are in a D/s relationship you interpret them as being a part of the base of your D/s relationship (I hope that made sense !).
What I'm trying to figure out is whether there's any degree of separation, especially when spending time with family or friends. Are you always in the TPE headspace regardless of whose company your're in?
One last question / comment. If you're in a TPE 24/7 relationship, and you're not with your Dom/me or sub, is the feeling of being with them in spirit considered part of a TPE 24/7 relationship?
What do you class as a TPE relationship?
I would have thought that one persons idea of TPE is not necessarily the idea of anothers.
Obviously, if a Dom/me and sub were to enter into something that was TPE, they should have a similar interpretation of TPE.
Is it a continuation of some of the things you might normally do like open doors for each other but because you are in a D/s relationship you interpret them as being a part of the base of your D/s relationship (I hope that made sense !).
What I'm trying to figure out is whether there's any degree of separation, especially when spending time with family or friends. Are you always in the TPE headspace regardless of whose company your're in?
One last question / comment. If you're in a TPE 24/7 relationship, and you're not with your Dom/me or sub, is the feeling of being with them in spirit considered part of a TPE 24/7 relationship?
WillowPuss
serene in submission
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I have just re-read this thread and the above made me realise that I have probably given the wrong impression.
Robuck does NOT choose my clothes for me ... rather he expects me to say "I've seen this dress/skirt that I like. May I buy it?" He then will either say yes or no ... and I will abide by that. If he decides that I have sufficient clothes (and I probably have, if I was deep down honest ... but, hey! I'm a woman and have nothing to wear) then he will tell me that I do NOT need it.
Having said that, he has said that in future, he want to be with me when I shop for underwear.
willow
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Does TPE necessarily mean 24/7 D/s?
OR are there some who engage in TPE only under certain cirumstances or at certain times?
If one is engaged in D/s that is PRIMARILY, not exclusively part of their intimacy and bedroom life, does that negate the degree to which the power exchange occurs?
Just some random thoughts to add to a really great thread.
OR are there some who engage in TPE only under certain cirumstances or at certain times?
If one is engaged in D/s that is PRIMARILY, not exclusively part of their intimacy and bedroom life, does that negate the degree to which the power exchange occurs?
Just some random thoughts to add to a really great thread.
catalina_francisco
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MissTaken said:
Thought provoking question Miss T. For me I cannot imagine how I would make TPE work in what for me was an authentic manner, if I was not in a 24/7 relationship. I imagine there are some who could envision TPE in particular circumstances only, but that for me, and may only be my opinion, negates the 'total' part of the equation. I acknowledge many will likely see it differently which is why diversity is more interesting.
Though we live a 24/7 lifestyle, I am sure some would argue whether it is TPE, but for us it is. Master chooses to trust me and gift me with the responsibility of knowing his desires in all circumstances, so though that affords me many moments of on the surface autonomy, the underlying fact is he still holds the power and any action of mine is to be within his boundaries, not mine, with my acting as an extension of him as his tool. To do otherwise will result in disappointment for both of us, and a need to correct the behaviour.
Trying to maintain outwardly the TPE 24/7 is impossible if it is held to be necessary for the Dominant to be present to oversee all activities in a day. Reality intrudes with work for a start, so it then becomes necessary for the submissive/slave to be trusted to know what is to be done and how in many situations, or the Dominant to be overloaded with minute by minute instructions for the day. It is not always as easy as it seems as there are those moments when you are sure you know what should be done, but the voice of doubt lurks in the depths of the brain questioning 'but what if?'. Still I would have it no other way, and welcome as much power as he wants to exert, overtly or covertly, over our life together.
Catalina
Nomar69dragon
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What is not 24/7 TPE?
Hello Richard, and maybe to Sub's
Some Intresting thing i have experianced in life working with a world renoun bondage club. I have been around TPE most od my bondage experiance and i cant phatom it not being so. I am just learning that thier are what i term weekend bondies. In the club that i worked for a woman or man could sign this contract for a year and a large sum of money with the option to extend. These people went to this club and lived 24/7 as a slave or other meanual to the Dom's that were paid there. It was good money and i am not disputing that it made me feel like a whore at times but i also fullfilled my kink which was being incontrol of sexy and willing slave girls. Forf tens years i worked at this club with out haveing sexual relations with any club meber ot customer. I think that also brought on my high demand price. You see it was not into i was 30 that i lost my virginity. But when that happened the crap hit the fan as the saying goes. I just beacme like all the other dom's there. The family like atomophere that was there was special to. The training one got there was both side of the relationship. At the time My friend she sponored me to this club at 2 years old and thats how she got me hooked into this sence. I am not sure but i supect they still run this club with the japanise and chinises mafia's help. Because twords the last days i was there i found the evil part of this club. people that got made at high powered officals found them self's there as lifers as they were termed and died there and mostly by some touture.
If you are part of this club then you know my name and why i was not welcome and why they left the area. I will not be messed with by these people again and i play permanetly.
<============}====[
But back to these clubs they are good ways to have them 24/7 TPE relationships that you guys are talking about. Plus you get paid. But you can not always gareentee a romantic Master or Mistress for your enjoyment this club sets the orders and we dom's folowed to the letter and sometimes it was wonderful for both parties. As for my experiance i seen it all even was a wittness to some gorey nasty stuff. I hate the edge play BDSM has but i guess most easrten sheiks like that stuff. The selling of people in the real world is wrong so stick with what you can get and still be weekend bondies. it is safe in the long run.
Thank you richard for letting me say this.
Nomar69dragon
Hello Richard, and maybe to Sub's
Some Intresting thing i have experianced in life working with a world renoun bondage club. I have been around TPE most od my bondage experiance and i cant phatom it not being so. I am just learning that thier are what i term weekend bondies. In the club that i worked for a woman or man could sign this contract for a year and a large sum of money with the option to extend. These people went to this club and lived 24/7 as a slave or other meanual to the Dom's that were paid there. It was good money and i am not disputing that it made me feel like a whore at times but i also fullfilled my kink which was being incontrol of sexy and willing slave girls. Forf tens years i worked at this club with out haveing sexual relations with any club meber ot customer. I think that also brought on my high demand price. You see it was not into i was 30 that i lost my virginity. But when that happened the crap hit the fan as the saying goes. I just beacme like all the other dom's there. The family like atomophere that was there was special to. The training one got there was both side of the relationship. At the time My friend she sponored me to this club at 2 years old and thats how she got me hooked into this sence. I am not sure but i supect they still run this club with the japanise and chinises mafia's help. Because twords the last days i was there i found the evil part of this club. people that got made at high powered officals found them self's there as lifers as they were termed and died there and mostly by some touture.
If you are part of this club then you know my name and why i was not welcome and why they left the area. I will not be messed with by these people again and i play permanetly.
<============}====[
But back to these clubs they are good ways to have them 24/7 TPE relationships that you guys are talking about. Plus you get paid. But you can not always gareentee a romantic Master or Mistress for your enjoyment this club sets the orders and we dom's folowed to the letter and sometimes it was wonderful for both parties. As for my experiance i seen it all even was a wittness to some gorey nasty stuff. I hate the edge play BDSM has but i guess most easrten sheiks like that stuff. The selling of people in the real world is wrong so stick with what you can get and still be weekend bondies. it is safe in the long run.
Thank you richard for letting me say this.
Nomar69dragon
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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Nomar69dragon, I am pleased you found it a good experience, but for me it doesn't seem it would work. I am more into 24/7 to one person for life, not a temporary commercial exchange albeit for a year or more, and economically advantageous. Each to their own I expect.
Catalina
Catalina
Nomar69dragon
Virgin
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That is good Catlinia
Catilina,
I agree luv that to each thier own and thats why i lft that sence. I could not deal with the thought of being paid for something i enjoy. As for at this monuent in my life i am happyly engaged to a woman that plans to be my only slave girl/ wife. She is Bi so there may be other girls in our relationship for her but for some unknow reason beyond my uinderstanding i will be only for her. I guess it is beacuse of my last Muti relationship with 12 women willing being my slavgirls. It can get to man after a while. I am 39 now and i can't handle all that loveing anymore and i needed a foucus of one as you say so Katya will be my focus. But as you say to each thier own and my own is love as one on one now like yours. Also i want to state with BDSM relationship i see a lot of abuse going on that is acecpted and even condoned by most. I personal have to respect my parnters or partner to be able to even funtion at any level of this play. I guess people like the degration and abuse of a mental venue more than i thought.
Thanks catiliana
Can't spell good opps
Catilina,
I agree luv that to each thier own and thats why i lft that sence. I could not deal with the thought of being paid for something i enjoy. As for at this monuent in my life i am happyly engaged to a woman that plans to be my only slave girl/ wife. She is Bi so there may be other girls in our relationship for her but for some unknow reason beyond my uinderstanding i will be only for her. I guess it is beacuse of my last Muti relationship with 12 women willing being my slavgirls. It can get to man after a while. I am 39 now and i can't handle all that loveing anymore and i needed a foucus of one as you say so Katya will be my focus. But as you say to each thier own and my own is love as one on one now like yours. Also i want to state with BDSM relationship i see a lot of abuse going on that is acecpted and even condoned by most. I personal have to respect my parnters or partner to be able to even funtion at any level of this play. I guess people like the degration and abuse of a mental venue more than i thought.
Thanks catiliana
Can't spell good opps
slvjenn
Really Experienced
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- Jul 18, 2002
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- 174
well, after reading this I think the relationship I am in may be more 24/7 than I thought.
Many many of the things that everyone (femsubs) are saying also apply for me.
Some noted exceptions.
He likes to cook once in a while. Especially italian and Chili. Heh, also any grill cooking is all his. It's gotta be a guy thing, cause I know all men want to cook on the grill.
Money matters. We both work and we discuss money. We sometimes even argue about it. (mostly when he wants to buy new computers or games for the computer when we're barely making rent)
Some areas that we might even take it a bit further than at least what you all are posting.
Here is how one aspect works.
If I am in bed before he is, and not sleeping, I am expected to initiate sex in some manner. The same goes for when he is in bed and is still awake. We don't wake each other up for this.
95% of the time I wake up before he does. Not because I have to, but becuase I want to. When I am awake, I make coffee, take a shower, put a towel on, pour his coffee and bring it to the bedroom. Once it is there it is up to my judgement. If I think there is time I am to wake him up sexually. Usually with my mouth. If there is no time I just wake him up and let him know he has to get ready for work.
After work and dinner (and the cleanup) we look like any couple. Again, a few exceptions that would likely not be picked up on by vanilla people.
I usually sit at his feet. Sometimes hugging his legs in some way, or just leaning against the couch. If I am not on the floor I'm usually laying on the couch with my head in his lap.
I've never really considered us to be 24/7 and I don't think he does either. But, again, from reading your posts, maybe we are closer to it than we thought.
Many many of the things that everyone (femsubs) are saying also apply for me.
Some noted exceptions.
He likes to cook once in a while. Especially italian and Chili. Heh, also any grill cooking is all his. It's gotta be a guy thing, cause I know all men want to cook on the grill.
Money matters. We both work and we discuss money. We sometimes even argue about it. (mostly when he wants to buy new computers or games for the computer when we're barely making rent)
Some areas that we might even take it a bit further than at least what you all are posting.
Here is how one aspect works.
If I am in bed before he is, and not sleeping, I am expected to initiate sex in some manner. The same goes for when he is in bed and is still awake. We don't wake each other up for this.
95% of the time I wake up before he does. Not because I have to, but becuase I want to. When I am awake, I make coffee, take a shower, put a towel on, pour his coffee and bring it to the bedroom. Once it is there it is up to my judgement. If I think there is time I am to wake him up sexually. Usually with my mouth. If there is no time I just wake him up and let him know he has to get ready for work.
After work and dinner (and the cleanup) we look like any couple. Again, a few exceptions that would likely not be picked up on by vanilla people.
I usually sit at his feet. Sometimes hugging his legs in some way, or just leaning against the couch. If I am not on the floor I'm usually laying on the couch with my head in his lap.
I've never really considered us to be 24/7 and I don't think he does either. But, again, from reading your posts, maybe we are closer to it than we thought.
amiakrystle
Virgin
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- Jun 25, 2007
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I want to encourage my now boyfriend to be dom
I want my boyfriend to be my dom 24/7 but he simply isn't getting the message what should I do to get him to not be so nilla. Also how do I press him for more control from him
I want my boyfriend to be my dom 24/7 but he simply isn't getting the message what should I do to get him to not be so nilla. Also how do I press him for more control from him
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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amiakrystle said:
First thing you need to learn is you cant and don't have the right to expect someone to be something/someone they aren't. Second is to learn being submissive is about submitting, not controlling someone to fulfil your desires at the expense of their own.
Catalina
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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24/7 Tpe
Until now I had never thought of 24/7 as something Id like to explore, With my current dom I had been out of the lifestyle for many years married to a Nilla guy who refuses to see anything about the lifestyle ( although he has his own kinks) LOL... So on to the reason I posted. When my daughter left for the summer and my hubby in another state he decided he should use this as and advantage and we should 24/7 TPE as much as possible ( since we are both married to other individuals who are nilla) sooo he now calls me everymorning to tell me what to wear and my "instructions" for the day. If we chat the night before he will tell me then but he will still call to talk to me in the am. I love it! I didnt think I would but I love not having to worry. He picks out my clothes my underware my everything and now controls most of my day it feels good.. If we could we had discussed if we ended up alone we would do it together and live together and do 24/7 truly Thats my opinion..
Until now I had never thought of 24/7 as something Id like to explore, With my current dom I had been out of the lifestyle for many years married to a Nilla guy who refuses to see anything about the lifestyle ( although he has his own kinks) LOL... So on to the reason I posted. When my daughter left for the summer and my hubby in another state he decided he should use this as and advantage and we should 24/7 TPE as much as possible ( since we are both married to other individuals who are nilla) sooo he now calls me everymorning to tell me what to wear and my "instructions" for the day. If we chat the night before he will tell me then but he will still call to talk to me in the am. I love it! I didnt think I would but I love not having to worry. He picks out my clothes my underware my everything and now controls most of my day it feels good.. If we could we had discussed if we ended up alone we would do it together and live together and do 24/7 truly Thats my opinion..
GentleSub_Ivy
Literotica Guru
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This is a wonderful thread. Thank you Richard for starting it.
I'm new to this lifestyle and unsure of a 24/7 approach for myself. My husband and I have recently starting discussing D/s in the sexual sense. This is new to both of us and I was pleasantly surprised that at least in the sexual sense he is open to try this as he seemed to be really turned off by the mention of such things. We are also talking of him taking more control in other ways in an every day sense. Honestly, we are in a bit of a rough patch so we aren't sure how this will work out. It's been hard to imagine him as my Dom when he has been so passive in the relationship. He admits that there is a part of himself that has wanted to be more dominant but wasn't sure how to go about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm training him to be a Dom which doesn't feel right but then at other times I feel like I've opened the door for him to at least bring a buried part of him into the light.
I'm not sure how trainable I am in regards to 24/7 with him because as I said I'm not sure how our marriage will work out and submitting to him gives me mixed feelings. I realize that some will say that is not very sub of me. It is difficult when he seems like he is waiting for me to give him permission to be a Dom. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm 24/7 material in general. Maybe when we both feel more comfortable in our new way of relating it will come more naturally. We are taking it slow.
Ivy
I'm new to this lifestyle and unsure of a 24/7 approach for myself. My husband and I have recently starting discussing D/s in the sexual sense. This is new to both of us and I was pleasantly surprised that at least in the sexual sense he is open to try this as he seemed to be really turned off by the mention of such things. We are also talking of him taking more control in other ways in an every day sense. Honestly, we are in a bit of a rough patch so we aren't sure how this will work out. It's been hard to imagine him as my Dom when he has been so passive in the relationship. He admits that there is a part of himself that has wanted to be more dominant but wasn't sure how to go about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm training him to be a Dom which doesn't feel right but then at other times I feel like I've opened the door for him to at least bring a buried part of him into the light.
I'm not sure how trainable I am in regards to 24/7 with him because as I said I'm not sure how our marriage will work out and submitting to him gives me mixed feelings. I realize that some will say that is not very sub of me. It is difficult when he seems like he is waiting for me to give him permission to be a Dom. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm 24/7 material in general. Maybe when we both feel more comfortable in our new way of relating it will come more naturally. We are taking it slow.
Ivy
Daddyslilpet
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GentleSub_Ivy said:This is a wonderful thread. Thank you Richard for starting it.
I'm new to this lifestyle and unsure of a 24/7 approach for myself. My husband and I have recently starting discussing D/s in the sexual sense. This is new to both of us and I was pleasantly surprised that at least in the sexual sense he is open to try this as he seemed to be really turned off by the mention of such things. We are also talking of him taking more control in other ways in an every day sense. Honestly, we are in a bit of a rough patch so we aren't sure how this will work out. It's been hard to imagine him as my Dom when he has been so passive in the relationship. He admits that there is a part of himself that has wanted to be more dominant but wasn't sure how to go about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm training him to be a Dom which doesn't feel right but then at other times I feel like I've opened the door for him to at least bring a buried part of him into the light.
I'm not sure how trainable I am in regards to 24/7 with him because as I said I'm not sure how our marriage will work out and submitting to him gives me mixed feelings. I realize that some will say that is not very sub of me. It is difficult when he seems like he is waiting for me to give him permission to be a Dom. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm 24/7 material in general. Maybe when we both feel more comfortable in our new way of relating it will come more naturally. We are taking it slow.
Ivy
Taking it slow isn't necessarily a bad thing when you are transitioning from a vanilla marriage to a D/s one. Trust me I know, been there done that. We've been working out our relationship since 2002 and are just now getting to the point where it feels right, if that makes any sense.
Allow yourselves the time, realize that this won't happen overnight and most of all understand that there will be setbacks. There will be times that you will both be ready to throw in the towel and give up, but if this life is what is meant to be for the two of you, then it will work out I promise you that.
Patience and lots of open and totally honest communication will win you your prize. Best of luck to you both!
GentleSub_Ivy
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dixicritter said:Taking it slow isn't necessarily a bad thing when you are transitioning from a vanilla marriage to a D/s one. Trust me I know, been there done that. We've been working out our relationship since 2002 and are just now getting to the point where it feels right, if that makes any sense.
Allow yourselves the time, realize that this won't happen overnight and most of all understand that there will be setbacks. There will be times that you will both be ready to throw in the towel and give up, but if this life is what is meant to be for the two of you, then it will work out I promise you that.
Patience and lots of open and totally honest communication will win you your prize. Best of luck to you both!
Thank you very much. We are both very open to learning. This new open communication is good albeit a bit strange. I think both of us are so used to retreating into our shells. If this is to be 24/7 then that will be the biggest thing for us to work on.
Congrats on a successful transition in your relationship. I'm sure it was hard work but obviously worth it for the two of you.
Ivy
Daddyslilpet
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GentleSub_Ivy said:Thank you very much. We are both very open to learning. This new open communication is good albeit a bit strange. I think both of us are so used to retreating into our shells. If this is to be 24/7 then that will be the biggest thing for us to work on.
Congrats on a successful transition in your relationship. I'm sure it was hard work but obviously worth it for the two of you.
Ivy
You're right, breaking out of that habbit of retreating into shells is by far the hardest part. Also relearning how to talk to each other can be quite a challenge, too.
Our relationship (mine and Daddy's) is still very much a work in progress and will be so for a long time to come I hope. We have lots yet to explore together. That's the fun and rewarding part of the whole process though.
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