A colorful turn of phrase

[Uther_Pendragon]

Fudge packer was circulating at one time - but I think that came from south park.





That's my lame contribution folks,

"Fudge packer" for gays or others engaging in anal
intercourse is fairly old. I think it predates
"South Park."

 

[lewdandlicentious]

"You've as much chance of doing *whatever*, as you have of plaiting fog!"


"He's as much use as tits on a fish!"


"He's so stupid, the only part of the times table he remembers is the tune!"
(nah-nah-nee-nah, nah-nah-nee-nah, nah-nah-nee-nah!)


"Does your head bleed every month?"


"That looks like a penis, only smaller!"


"I've seen better legs hanging out of a nest!"


"What's your village doing for an idiot while you're away?"





Just a few from the rude dude!

 

[Guest]

My mom always said when trying to change my mind about something..

"Arguing with you is like arguing with a sign post."

Don't sit there like a knot on a log.

You like something the cat dragged in.

 

[shereads]

Re: many but forgotten........

That dawg don't hunt.

Which reminds me of (to describe sloppy work):

"That looks like a dog's breakfast."

A favorite reply of my grandfather's, when kids at the table thought a particular food (squirrel, for one) looked/smelled disgusting:

"The only way to turn my stomach is to put my plate behind me."

 

[shereads]

Among older people in my mom's family, when telling about someone who snubbed or ignored you:

"She didn't even say, 'dog kiss my foot.'"

That one used to mystify me when I was a kid.

There are logs of dog-themed expressions in the Southern U.S.

"Barefoot as a yard dog."

(As opposed to a house dog, I guess.)

 

[shereads]

Describing an unproductive task:

"This is like stacking oysters"

Describing a particularly unattractive woman:

"She gives good snout."

 

[Black Tulip]

Translating is tricky, but I'll try anyway.

If someone makes a remark that is totally unrelated to the topic at hand:
that pertains like cunt to David.
that pertains like cock to chocolate cake.

When we showed our reluctance to do household chores my mother used to say we had:
a face made of rags.

Here comes something extraordinary:
watch out for the jump of the guinea worm.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Way up north in Sweden, they say abot someone they really dislike:

"I wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire!"

 

[SlickTony]

"This is like stacking oysters"

That's brilliant. It made me laugh. I'll have to use it as soon as possible.

 

[Guest]

Don't get your panties (or drawers if you are talking to a guy) in a wad.


I can't remember if someone has said this one before or not: You ain't got the sense God gave a cabage.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

turn of phrase

Regarding ignorance...He's dumber than a box of rocks!

My Dad often said this about our dyslexic mailman that never could seem to sort the address 424 and 242 correctly.

He also liked to say, "That's as useful as a football bat."

-E

 

[Dirt Man]

Way up north in Sweden, they say abot someone they really dislike:

"I wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire!"

Reminded me of a favorite amongst sailors: "I'll piss on his grave." Meaning that he would outlive that person long enough to piss his ashes over the side.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[shereads]

deleted double post

 

[shereads]

"I'll piss on his grave." Meaning that he would outlive that person long enough to piss his ashes over the side.

Oh.

I used to hear people say that and thought they meant it literally. We were landlocked, so...


Black Tulip, thank you for "watch out for the jump of the guinea worm." I have a feeling I'll find uses for that one.

(hurries to look up "guinea worm" to find out of it really jumps, and how high.)

One that I thought was familiar in the U.S. until someone asked me what it meant:

"He doesn't know his ass from his elbow."

(meaning, of course, a person who doesn't know his left shoulder from his right ankle)

 

[Edward Teach]

About closing time one evening, I offerd the best looking gal left at the bar a ride home. She accepted then added to make sure I didn't get the wrong impression,
"But we ain't gonna bury no worm tonight."

An old stone mason used to say,
"Fits like a finger up a butt"

When something is really nice it is
"Fine as frog hair"

My dad used to say as a compliment, meaning that you are a good person,
"Your dogs can run in my woods."

 

[shereads]

I can't remember if someone has said this one before or not: You ain't got the sense God gave a cabage. [/B]

I heard it as "the sense God gave a goat." Your way is insulting.



On being naked:

"Buck-ass naked" (pronounced "nekkid")

"Naked as a jaybird."

 

[shereads]

"Your dogs can run in my woods."

Teach, that's what I like about the South.


You may be familiar with the "You may be a redneck if..." series. My dad left a stack of them with his will and his life insurance documents so that we might have a laugh when we needed one after his death.

My favorite:

"You may be a redneck if the front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs."

Runner-up:

"...if you go to family reunions to meet girls."

 

[The_old_man]

My parents, in reply to a very excited person; Don't get your tit in the wringer. Since washing machines don't have wringers any more it would be a bit archaic today.

One a bit more contemporary would be; Who lit the fuse on your tampax?

 

[Seattle Zack]

I love idioms and such, things that can add spice to dialogue. I started a thread about it a while ago, in fact, and one of my favorites came from old Pops.

"Useless as a chocolate firescreen."

Vivid imagery, economy of words, and a regional flair ... what more could one ask for?

 

[lewdandlicentious]

More from the Rude one!


"As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike!"


"Shagging her is like throwing a sausage down a street!"


"You can only take him/her anywhere twice, the second time to apologise for the first!"
(My mum always said that about me!)

 

[dee1124]

A few from old Will Shakespeare:

Were I like thee I'd throw away myself. (Timon of Athens, 4.3.221)

He has not so much brain as ear-wax. (Troilus & Cressida, 5.1.51-52)

Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin a beard? (As You Like It, 3.2.202-3)

And my favorite reply to criticism: "Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life," from Henry IV Part I

-- Dee

 

[dee1124]

She smelled the way the Taj Mahal looks by moonlight.
-----
... a man with a face like a collapsed lung.

 

[Edward Teach]

An uninformed person-
"Doesn't know shit from Shinola"
(Shinola is a shoe polish)

"Doesn't know his ass from third base"
(Never understood that one)

Perhaps a baseball player-
"Couldn't hit himself in the ass with a bass fiddle"

"Couldn't throw it in the ocean"

 

[lewdandlicentious]

".......... has a face like a slapped ass!"

 

[minsue]

Regarding my lack of class and style, my mother has always said

You can dress her up, but you can't take her anywhere

- Min