A little understanding

[o2bebd]

whilst I appreciate your views on this, I'm not sure I appreciate there being an 'us'. this is a diverse forum made up of diverse views and whilst I'm not entirely convinced by the OP, she has neither offended nor angered me, so please do not presume to speak for me in your arguments.

I am very sorry. I did not mean to offend you. Please accept my apology.

 

[Commedia]

As you can see, people tend to anger quickly when you question their lifestyle, whatever that may be. It's good that you asked questions and expressed your opinion, and I didn't find it particularly angering; you just seemed like someone who didn't know much about the subject. I'd think the people here would be used to that, but I guess not.

Different people like different flavors. For most people, though, BDSM isn't about actually being forced to do something against your will. It's more about giving yourself to someone else to let them do things that you wouldn't normally do. Some like it and others don't. I really don't expect that you ever would. Sexuality is something we still don't completely understand as a species, and because of that there are still many prejudices against certain areas of it. It isn't for you, but there are plenty of people who do enjoy it. You could say the same thing about being bisexual. Just know that the people who are into this do not condone actual rape, nor do I believe any of us here would do something of that nature. Sadly, there are plenty of people in the world who do, and I can tell you that most of those people are not going to be in a place like this.

I certainly understand your prejudices, but try to think of it the same way you think of your own bisexuality; they are quite similar in concept.

~C

 

[JMohegan]

At first blush this seemed to me at once reasonable and blatantly inflamatory.

Then I read it again, and realized how dylexic I am (I read woudn't, rather than would).

I myself have entertained thoughts about changes I might like to see in the laws as they regaurd to BDSM and consensuality... What changes in the law would you enact, if you could? (perhaps a subject for it's own thread)

The OP asked about real rape and real slavery - both of which are morally unconscionable, and would be so even if somehow made legal.

Consensual behaviors are a different story. The question of which of those should be legal is more complicated, in my view. If you start a thread on that subject, I'll contribute to it.

 

[Ravenwind]

While flattered, I find this slightly ironic. From what I've seen of ravenwind's posts, (maybe elsewhere, I don't recall) she seems to come from the "true submission," camp, wheras I tend see myself as much more of a realist/ pessimist. I wouldn't say we're precisely polar opposites, but neither do I see myself as any great font of wisdom.

More or less. I realize what works for me doesn't work for another- I'm the type to "give 110%, then I'm happy", while others are the kind that are "kicking and screaming until forced into submission, and then they're happy". Be it willing to give it, or wanting it taken, what matters in the end, though, is happiness, is it not?

Actually, that's half the reason I post so infrequently, as my depressions deepen, I tend to see myself as irrelevant here.

Oh, stop it. You are not irrelevant... if nothing else, I enjoy your posts. ^_^

In anycase, there are a great many people here worth paying attention to (with or without salt), ravenwind included.

On that note, Geeraff, I think everything should be taken with a grain of salt, be it from me, or anyone else. What works for me, Oberon, Netzach, or anyone else, might send another to the psych ward, or not. ^_~ Find your own path to happiness... BDSM simply happens to be one of ours.

 

[where]

I am very sorry. I did not mean to offend you. Please accept my apology.

I'm not offended, so no need to apologise , I would just rather be clear that your views in no way represent mine.

 

[Etoile]

I don't get it and hate that I see this sub forum every time I come to lit and the letters BDSM fill me with disgust when in actuality I know nothing about you people. I expect to get a lot of hate messages and I will humbly accept them but maybe I can come to accept this fetish.

You don't have to accept it, you just have to tolerate it. Because it's here, and it's not going anywhere. (BDSM itself as well as the forum.)

Recognizing that your disgust may not be fair is an important step. Being disgusted by something you don't understand is silly.* If you learn about something, and still don't like it, that's your right.

* - Except bugs. Feel free to just be disgusted by bugs. I am.

 

[Ravenwind]

Being disgusted by something you don't understand is silly.* If you learn about something, and still don't like it, that's your right.

* - Except bugs. Feel free to just be disgusted by bugs. I am.

QFT. Especially the bug part. I don't care what kind of bug, if it can bite, pinch, or sting, I hate it. Ladybugs, crickets, caterpillars/butterflies/moths, and praying mantises excepted though... those are cute. ^_^

 

[ImOnIt]

You don't have to accept it, you just have to tolerate it. Because it's here, and it's not going anywhere. (BDSM itself as well as the forum.)

Recognizing that your disgust may not be fair is an important step. Being disgusted by something you don't understand is silly.* If you learn about something, and still don't like it, that's your right.

* - Except bugs. Feel free to just be disgusted by bugs. I am.

Also fascinating. Insects are strange and interesting. I love things like these

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion - this one's larva makes a little pit in sand. It dig itself in backwards in the bottom of its little pit and when an ant walks into the pit it pelts the side of the pit with sand grains, knocking the ant down and into the middle of the pit.

Or this butterfly!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I just love where this thread is going.

 

[Wileycharacter]

I didn't read alot of the following posts, but I just wanted to jump straight to my opinion on these questions and respond with my own:

What's the appeal in vanilla sex? It's all well and good to try to single out people who participate in BDSM sex but ask yourself why you like having sex the way you do and what makes it so special and so "right".

I don't do vanilla sex, it bores me and it doesn't feel good to me. I don't have any emotional connection to it and it feels all very wrong and uncomfortable to me.
But I don't judge you. It might make you feel Ill to think that people around the world are cumming because there ripping off panties and living out fantasies, but what makes me Ill is the millions of people laying in bed in the missionary position not enjoying the sex Thier having and looking at the click because people like you make them feel shameful for wanting to feel good in a way that YOU don't consider normal.

What a person does to get off shouldn't even be a concern to you unless your insecure about how you SHOULD be getting off, I suspect you have some of your own sexual discoveries to make before you start judging the people who know what they want.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I didn't read alot of the following posts, but ...

Wiley? Why would you resurrect a thread that hasn't been posted in for 20 freaking months? Particularly one where the OP hasn't been active in Lit for the same 20 freaking months?

 

[Wileycharacter]

Because I'm new and I don't know any better. Lol. Sweet apologies all.. Xo