A Preponderance of Predators

[Texture]

You might be surprised...most people in abusive relationships go through a stage of not identifying it as abusive for a variety of reasons...sometimes they never get past that stage because they never see a choice.

Fair point, there might be some.

I think there are many more tho that are somewhat pretentious.

That's not a dig at anyone on here.

 

[FungiUg]

You've lost me there. Are you saying they don't discuss abuse because they are pretentious?

I think the more we can encourage people to think about things like safety and abuse, the better. Awareness and fore-thought are half of the battle, and that way we can discourage people from getting into abusive relationships in the first place.

So even if people aren't discussing the abuse in their relationships as such, it's still a great idea to talk about it, and remind people that abuse isn't acceptable. Particularly not with a group that goes out of it's way to promote "safety, sanity, consensuality".

 

[Texture]

I'm saying that although there are some people who may be at risk of abuse, there are a lot more who want to make out that their life is more 'edgy' than it actually is, in order to indulge their self image of being hardcore.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm saying that although there are some people who may be at risk of abuse, there are a lot more who want to make out that their life is more 'edgy' than it actually is, in order to indulge their self image of being hardcore.

That could be true. It usuall doesn't take long to see the gaps in what is said and what you know from your own experiences to be reality.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

Ah.

Well, having seen the results of too much abuse, I know that it does happen. Far too often. I guess I'm not too worried about those who are doing it "for effect". As you say, we don't really deal with abuse here, other than to point out how to spot predators, rules about playing safe and so on.

For those suffering abuse, the Police and various other organisations exist. I for one don't condone it. I don't see abuse as "edgy".

 

[Texture]

Fair dos, I'm not underplaying abuse. Maybe I've got a jaundiced view of people.

 

[FungiUg]

Dunno. I mean, I have run into people who "cry wolf" when it comes to abuse, but they're generally fairly easy to spot. On the other hand, I've run into more people (kids especially -- my lover is a teacher) who get abused and do their best to cover it up.

All I can say is it's a sad, sick world, all too often. I've never understood the need to abuse.

 

[cellis]

Dunno. I mean, I have run into people who "cry wolf" when it comes to abuse, but they're generally fairly easy to spot. On the other hand, I've run into more people (kids especially -- my lover is a teacher) who get abused and do their best to cover it up.

All I can say is it's a sad, sick world, all too often. I've never understood the need to abuse.

Yes it is... having worked in the mental health field for a few years... I have seen the aftermath... what happens when abused children grow up....

 

[Texture]

I do respect all your experience.

We seem to have shifted a little bit onto partner abuse in general or child abuse.

I think the original point was about people discussing seemingly abusive relationships on Literotica or online. I defer to your greater knowledge of how much this type of abuse happens within 'the lifestyle'.

I do think I have point tho that a lot of people will avoid mentioning that their relationship is ultimately consensual because they want to frame it like that, or say that they 'want to be raped' when they are in fact the kind of people that are more than capable of saying no to someone who doesn't meet their criteria. It's not so much crying 'wolf' as 'wolf...look at me...wolf'

Anyway, not to bang on about it. Obviously, people who are victims need to be helped.

 

[FungiUg]

I do think I have point tho that a lot of people will avoid mentioning that their relationship is ultimately consensual because they want to frame it like that, or say that they 'want to be raped' when they are in fact the kind of people that are more than capable of saying no to someone who doesn't meet their criteria.

Hmmm... I guess I haven't been in the same conversations as you have. Most of the people I've spoken to stress consensuality, unless they are a "slave".