A quick rant

[Tzara]

...its not like I am gonna show up at a job and The Fool and Tzara would be there as my bossmen...

True, I am not very bossy. Last time I looked, though, I was a man.

 

[champagne1982]

True, I am not very bossy. Last time I looked, though, I was a man.

Ooooo goodie! A stickman!

eta: Today's 30 in 30 is brought to you by: Tzara's Stick Men of the Forest

 

[Tzara]

Gawd! Men are such euphemistically sensitive critters ...

Hey. They made me read Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer in college. I was, like, forced to be sensitive.

Will I be lonesome without my sticks?

Um, I'd better not comment on that. It might besmirch my vaunted sensitivity.

 

[EriAliSaa]

Hey.... are the sticks a compliment or a not? I fear I'm getting lost in this exchange

 

[EriAliSaa]

Hey J,

I did get a little heavy there didn't I? Sorry got into crusader mode

 

[Tzara]

Ooooo goodie! A stickman!

eta: Today's 30 in 30 is brought to you by: Tzara's Stick Men of the Forest

Hmph. I was thinking more giant redwood or sequoia. Y'know, massive trunk, or something. Like a real forest. "Stick" sounds so... unsatisfying.

 

[champagne1982]

Hmph. I was thinking more giant redwood or sequoia. Y'know, massive trunk, or something. Like a real forest. "Stick" sounds so... unsatisfying.

But you are bossman of an entire forest of sticks. In this situation it's not size or quality but quantity that matters!

p.s. You can be the mighty oak if you must

 

[champagne1982]

We should try to get this thread back on topic. What say we go crack a couple of beers?

 

[EriAliSaa]

We should try to get this thread back on topic. What say we go crack a couple of beers?

Yeah I could use a beer or twenty. Keep them cold for me?

Oh and should I try to squeeze my ever expanding ass into some regular jeans? I hate the look of belly panels anyways. Anyone want to see prego crack shoved hipsters?

 

[Maria2394]

Hey.... are the sticks a compliment or a not? I fear I'm getting lost in this exchange

umm, ali, from what I can gather, the stick motif of the thread is waaay more embarrassing than what the thread began as, ass crack views, lol

and as for it a compliment?

I would say, depends on what kind of sticks you like? If you like long, skinny sticks, then a stick forest is good, but if you like, shorter, thicker sticks,..oh god, I cant do this, Carrie>? you had it going on, lol

 

[champagne1982]

Ladies... Try not to get tricked into that old male thing where you can't see the forest for the sticks .

 

[FifthFlower]

Sticks and Cracks

One stick is nice, but I need more
Than that to wake me up for fun.
A crack deserves a thicker one,
And I, well I, before I'm done,
Might crack one stick. So make it four.

 

[EriAliSaa]

Ladies... Try not to get tricked into that old male thing where you can't see the forest for the sticks .

That invokes a really funny visual.

Hope the stick forest doesn't get cold... then it would just be a sad little forest

 

[EriAliSaa]

New Rant

Ok I have a new rant.

When did women start carrying themselves like men?

I was in line at the grocery store the other night, late (I wanted some ice cream and didn't know what I wanted.... so I had to actually go myself). There were 4 groups in line. Myself, a lady a little older than myself, two girls and a guy in their late 20's couldn't have been more than 30, and a young couple that if they were getting into bars they would have needed ID to get in.... and it likely would have been fake (non-US citizens read 21 or younger).

Despite the fact that there were so few customers in line it was going slow. Isn't that the way? So I let my mind wander, and per my usual I looked at everyone asses. I am proud to say I had the second best ass among the women and 3rd over all. The guy in his late 20's had a great ass. You know the one that you just want caress and bite? Oh wait. I will not get side tracked.

However it was when I was comparing asses that something just looked off to me. So being at the end of the line, and each group being very involved in themselves I studied the groups. The older woman in front of me was obviously having a hard time at the moment. I wanted to tell her that chocolate is not love.... because she was hitting the Whitman's chocolate sampler pretty hard. But I knew better. I knew if I did she would either hit me, yell at me, or worse, cry. Not that I'm opposed to perfect strangers crying on me, but I'm such a hormonal wreck it just wouldn't be a good thing. Nothing all that off. My heart went out to her for whatever pain she was trying to drown in chocolate.

The two girls in their late 20's were heavy, one was actually dressed slovenly, and they were with a guy that had a great ass. Other than that nothing odd. The girl however right away looked off to me. She was pretty, had a good body and trendy clothes that suited her. I looked at her over making sure I wasn't caught doing it. Then it hit me. She was dressed the most feminine of all the women in line and yet, she was stood and moved like a 300 pound long haul trucker, who doubled as an Elvis impersonator on his down time.

Mind you I have nothing against women truck drivers. My late aunt, whom I have always looked up to and adored, was a truck driver. But this girl carried herself like a man. Back rolled, shoulders slumped, butt dropped, and she walked with her legs apart, sort of like the keep truckin' suit wearing guy that was on the tee shirts and everywhere in the 70's.

And she was dressed to kill too. Tight designer jeans, tight top that showed enough to be flirtatious, her makeup was done up for going out, her hair she had to spend an hour or more on.... she was just gorgeous. But she carried herself more masculine than most men and a lot more so than the one she was with.

And I noticed that the younger the women in line were, the less feminine they carried themselves. This is not something I have noticed for the first time... just the first time I have ranted on it.

 

[Maria2394]

Ali-
just popped in to say that I love reading your descriptions of people. They are excellent, very detailed and I love your little side commentaries. That's all



xoxox

M

 

[EriAliSaa]

Ali-
just popped in to say that I love reading your descriptions of people. They are excellent, very detailed and I love your little side commentaries. That's all



xoxox

M

Next I will do a hard hitting political diatribe! Which political candidate have the best ass. I love her to death, but Hillary is straight out not going to be on the list. Not all the designer suits in the world can help her ass look great.

Hey why isn't there a someone covering which candidate has the best ass?!? Makes about as much sense as the other stuff they cover.

 

[champagne1982]

We need more Ass-in-nine poems...

You seem to spend a little time watching asses. Fetish? More than likely I say.

 

[EriAliSaa]

We need more Ass-in-nine poems...

You seem to spend a little time watching asses. Fetish? More than likely I say.

Carrie I can't help it. I really like asses. I would like dancing penises too but all we have is

 

[EriAliSaa]

In variety, we find the spice of life

Longing looks
Oft furtive glances
Virility of body
Endowed in the orbs

Anticipation in the touch
Sensually nails graze
Strong rippling muscles
Envying the power
Sent thrusting into ecstasy

 

[EriAliSaa]

I was uninspired to write about bad cracks.... but I can do fetish

 

[EriAliSaa]

Another new rant

Maybe I'm strange or a genetic anomaly. But I don't like Oprah. I don't dislike her. I even watch her on occasion and enjoy the odd show here or there. However I do not see whatever it is that deifies her. Just like I liked The Color Purple. However I don't think she did that well in it to get even a Oscar nomination. Whoopi however I totally see the wins and nominations she got. I think people were just surprised that Oprah could act at all.

While I am at it I can't stand Martha Stewart. Domestic Goddess? Nah. Jersey Girl that made good and lost the accent. I mean hate to be mean.... but she stopped modeling because she became preg and started learning business, became a stock trader until her baby girl was school age... and only then does she concentrate on her home? All comforted by millions of dollars already? That is taking it easy because she was passed 30 if you ask me.

Not that I will fault Martha for that. I don't even care that she likely didn't raise her own kid. 2 parent working family is sort of the norm and I'm the odd ball in this day and age. But god! She is such a condescending bitch when she says how this or that is so easy. Like there is no excuse that I can't do this or that in the normal course of the day to make dinner a gourmet experience. Like there is no excuse for me not to grow my own herbs fresh or something crazy like that.... go buy them fresh at the store.

When quite frankly there are days that I'm ran so ragged by a 2 and 4 year old, that if I was going to make it to the store to get fresh everything, make a living center piece, put out the fine china, light candles, make origami placeholders, dress in my finest dress to look like a proper lady, and have it done by 5pm.... I would be baking one of the kids and the other would be the living centerpiece.

No fucking way I could maintain a fresh herb garden. I can't manage to keep up on the dishes (he promised with the kitchen remodel I get a dishwasher, he better deliver or I'm going on strike), laundry (getting a new washer and dryer too, these one are just about dead and most of the time I have dry 2 to 3 times to get them dry and there are times I have wash twice), and though I love gardening, I hate doing it all the time and can never keep up with my 2 year old that wants to run down the street.... much less the damned weeds.

So yeah. Everything is easy if you are a millionaire or billionaire, and you have that kind of time. Writing is my craft, and it is pretty easy. Fucking is my passion, and it's a lot of fun. Sucking cock is my skill, and we both enjoy it. When we have the time and energy after actually raising our two kids that in 4 months will be 3 kids, I think we do it really well. Maybe if Martha fucked and sucked, and got ate every once in a while.... she wouldn't have time for a fresh herb garden either

 

[EriAliSaa]

Yikes! That was pretty near pornographic for me

 

[unapologetic]

Not to discount your rant about Oprah & Martha

And I noticed that the younger the women in line were, the less feminine they carried themselves. This is not something I have noticed for the first time... just the first time I have ranted on it.

But this is something that bothers me too. I work on a college campus with a student body that has more men than women, and the women cannot carry themselves well to save their hides.

Ever watch America's Next Top Model (or any of the other spin offs)? I know, I know, how can someone as intellectual as me love such a blatant non-real reality show... But really, if you ever watch, you start to learn that it's all about confidence. Even the startlingly beautiful ones still crumble, and I think it's about age, like you said.

Okay, I'll leave the floor for your further rant.

 

[EriAliSaa]

Not so much a rant as just an observation

I was going to rant about the sad state of "free media" that is "fair and balanced" after a "newscaster" asked people go online to participate in a poll about Iraq. She phrased the question so "fair and balanced" it floored me. "Should we get out of Iraq, or stay, fight and Win!" All punctuated with a sort of sad fist pump. But news organizations being propaganda machines for the owners of the stations does not deserve anymore of my time than I have given it.

I have observed people bumping threads until mods can make them sticky. So here is my not so much of a rant:

On a site like Lit is sticky really the best term to use? Though I have never personally been to one, it conjures up the images of the classic porn theater sticking to the floor as you walk (I think that would actually be pretty gross, I imagine it is just fish tales that guys tell each other but at the same time they are always dingy and foreboding in bad neighborhoods so it makes what the guys talk about seem true). Although I guess it could be apropos depending on the sticky subject.

If it stopped there then there would be no pseudo rant here would there? No, it doesn't stop there at all. Now it has become necessary to Bump a thread in order to make it sticky. My primary concern is not whether or not this bumping behavior continues or is even encouraged. No, I tell you! My concern is where does it stop?!?

What is next for us? Will we be forced to go further in order to make threads sticky? What is next? Will be have to rub and fondle the thread? Because you know a mere bump or accidentally brushing past might be enough to get a at the beginning.... but as every women knows it starts taking more and more effort to even get it to rise to the occasion the more you use it.

I can foresee both sensuous and vigorous fondling, handjobs, blowjobs, stripteases, and even going as far as actually having intercourse with a thread just to get it to rise to the occasion before it can be made "sticky".

I do want it on the record that I do not exactly oppose things going this far. It might be difficult to explain to the hubby why I am going through such great lengths for something as trivial as a thread.... but it will be worth it if I can manage to get something I have asked for.

So in order to assure my silence and assure I do not oppose these insidious measures to make threads sticky I ask for the dancing banana to be replaced (as it should be), by a dancing penis. Though I have yet to find a dancing one, I have found a galloping one, and if you can make a penis gallop how hard can making it dance be?

 

[FifthFlower]

...it starts taking more and more effort to even get it to rise to the occasion the more you use it.

I can foresee both sensuous and vigorous fondling, handjobs, blowjobs, stripteases, and even going as far as actually having intercourse with a thread just to get it to rise to the occasion before it can be made "sticky".

Ah! A rant I can relate to. bump