a woman with holes- one last poem
- Thread starter annaswirls
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annaswirls
Pointy?
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2003
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- 7,204
Earlier today, someone told me that there was activity on this thread and that maybe I should come. I had hoped it died a natural death....and have not been back. I really just wanted to let it die, and maybe I will regret this but I feel like I should say one more thing.
When I first came to literotica, many people made me feel welcome. Of course, Maria was one of them.
I saw her as a talented, friendly, sensitive and funnny woman.
I have never stopped thinking these things.
My apology comes partly as a writer:
I am embarassed that I was such a poor communicator that the messages I was trying to convey were interpreted as they were.
I am being sincere.
Please read this with sincerity.
Electronic communication can often be misread but I had no idea.
and I want to repeat this for clarity,
I did not leave lit for anything anyone did or said to me.
When I used to teach, I always told my students that when I was a student I sometimes got in trouble
and later when I would see my teachers, even as an adult, I would be embarassed.
I promised them that I would forget any trouble there had been and only remember the best things that we had shared, because it was true.
People will believe what they want to and remember what they want to about me. I have no control over that
but I intended to come here and write all of the nice things I would always remember about Maria.
I took a long walk with my children and was amazed at all of the good things I could think about our friendship -- but I will save those for a private email at a later time.
I do hope it is okay to share something-
it was in public here before, so I do not feel as if I am breaking confidence.
Even before I came to lit, I was in the process of preparing a homily for my church on the topic of "How do you feed your soul?"
I was focused on writing and sharing poetry.
When I read Maria's "Feeding the Winter Solstice" I thought I was seeing things, as it was so close to what I was trying to say in my "sermon"
I asked her for permission to read her poem as part of my service, and she graciously said "yes." She even gave me her given name, so that I could identify her not only as an online friend, but as a real live person. When I read it on Sunday, my voice wavered near the middle, I was so touched by its message.
Here is the poem, it really is beautiful and has always held so much meaning to me. I really thought that you knew this, Maria. I am sorry I did not communicate my feelings for you more clearly.
If you ever feel comfortable, feel free to tell me specifically what I said to you, so I can apologize more specifically, because I really am in the dark.
When I first came to literotica, many people made me feel welcome. Of course, Maria was one of them.
I saw her as a talented, friendly, sensitive and funnny woman.
I have never stopped thinking these things.
My apology comes partly as a writer:
I am embarassed that I was such a poor communicator that the messages I was trying to convey were interpreted as they were.
I am being sincere.
Please read this with sincerity.
Electronic communication can often be misread but I had no idea.
and I want to repeat this for clarity,
I did not leave lit for anything anyone did or said to me.
When I used to teach, I always told my students that when I was a student I sometimes got in trouble
and later when I would see my teachers, even as an adult, I would be embarassed.
I promised them that I would forget any trouble there had been and only remember the best things that we had shared, because it was true.
People will believe what they want to and remember what they want to about me. I have no control over that
but I intended to come here and write all of the nice things I would always remember about Maria.
I took a long walk with my children and was amazed at all of the good things I could think about our friendship -- but I will save those for a private email at a later time.
I do hope it is okay to share something-
it was in public here before, so I do not feel as if I am breaking confidence.
Even before I came to lit, I was in the process of preparing a homily for my church on the topic of "How do you feed your soul?"
I was focused on writing and sharing poetry.
When I read Maria's "Feeding the Winter Solstice" I thought I was seeing things, as it was so close to what I was trying to say in my "sermon"
I asked her for permission to read her poem as part of my service, and she graciously said "yes." She even gave me her given name, so that I could identify her not only as an online friend, but as a real live person. When I read it on Sunday, my voice wavered near the middle, I was so touched by its message.
Here is the poem, it really is beautiful and has always held so much meaning to me. I really thought that you knew this, Maria. I am sorry I did not communicate my feelings for you more clearly.
If you ever feel comfortable, feel free to tell me specifically what I said to you, so I can apologize more specifically, because I really am in the dark.
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