Absolution (closed)

[KieranSoares]

"I will," Durban confirmed immediately. "No matter how far I go, I'll tell you all about what I'm up to... I'll even keep journals like Papa if you like, and send them t'you." He was willing to promise the little girl almost anything to help her cope, but he knew nothing would stand in for his presence as the acting patriarch of their family. Brogan would have to take that mantle as best he could.

 

[heartofcourage]

“You’ll leave and Mama will die. It’ll be all your fault.” Kayla wailed, frightened for so many different reasons. “I’ll never forgive you.”

Kitty leaned against the wall outside the room where her children were gathered with Matthias listening to Kayla fall to pieces. All of them had in a way and she felt like a failure of a mother to have allowed it.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You don' have to," Durban murmured, stepping back, quietly looking among all his other siblings before heading to his own room to pack in silence.

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty soon found Durban packing and quietly closed the door behind her, moving to take a seat on the edge of his bed.

“I could talk with him again, love. See if something might be done.” She offered, knowing he would decline. “I wish this were easy, Durban. I wish a lot of things could have been different. I wish I were a better mother that had the easy solution for this.”

 

[KieranSoares]

"Never blame yerself for this," Durban murmured. "You couldn' 'ave known any o' this would happen." He only packed a couple sets of clothes, knowing it'd do him no good to weigh himself down. "Nothin' could've prepared any of us fer this."

 

[heartofcourage]

“I know you’ll do fine.” She said as she reached out to gently touch his hand. “You above all the others can be self sufficient. I’ll worry but that can’t be helped.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a beaten old ring, offering it to Durban. “I saved this from all the jewelry. It’s your grandfather’s wedding band. He was a salty old sailor who worked every day of his life on the water. He had a life of adventure and he would be so happy you’re about to take this journey.”

 

[KieranSoares]

Durban quietly placed the ring on his left middle finger before meeting his mother's gaze again. "... Brogan'll look after you all. He's a better fit fer th'throne than I ever was anyway."

 

[heartofcourage]

"We don't need anyone to look after us, Durban. We never have." Kitty said softly as he promised that Brogan would take up his mantel. "I'll have a talk with Kayla when all of this calms down and make sure that she understands that you didn't leave willingly. You don't need to worry about anything other than how you'll travel and where you'll go."

Kitty was quiet for a long moment as she took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. She seemed like she might shatter completely under the strain, but she kept it all together for her children.

"Vincenzo would welcome you with open arms if you made your way to him." Kitty said softly. "Of course Seamus would too. And Gran and Grandpa. You have lots of options to begin with. Once the money I've given you runs out, however, it's on you to make your own way. I can send you some coins along the way, but there's little I can really do once you leave Scotland."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I'll go t'Uncle Seamus fer a while... maybe see Vincenzo if I can make enough money. I jus' feel like wanderin', Ma... It'll be hard t'get letters t'me, I imagine... but I'll send them often as I can. As fer Kayla... I don' think she really blames me. She's jus' actin' out because she doesn' know what else to do."

He faced Kitty fully and hugged her tiny frame close to his chest. "I know you'll worry... But I need you t'focus on th'others most of all... Especially Selena. Once I'm gone... she'll either marry Abel fer all your sakes, blame 'erself if th'war with Wick restarts... or she'll run away. Ghell 'as promised all 'er life tha' she'd be free... He won't break it as long as 'e's alive unless Selena makes th'choice fer herself."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I know, love." Kitty said softly as Durban hugged her tightly, telling her that he anticipated Selena running away from home very soon. "I'll help her as I have helped you. I'll sell anything that I can to make sure that she gets the best footing in her new life that she possibly could have. I'll do the same for all of you children until I have nothing left to my name and I have to beg and borrow from others. It's the very least that I can do."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I'll send money home if I can, once I'm set," Durban promised softly. "... There's always money in furs, an' I'm sure I'll do alright if Uncle Seamus 'as a job for me, vineyards're good work too."

 

[heartofcourage]

“You keep that money for yourself, Durban. You earn it and support yourself. That’s all I need to be happy.” Kitty insisted, looking up at her eldest child with a bittersweet smile. “I knew you’d leave me one day, my love. I just hoped it would be better.”

 

[KieranSoares]

"I expect you t'be here when I come back," Durban hugged her close as he spoke. "I'll bring you journals like Vincenzo. Show you all th' places I go."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'll be right here, love. I'm not going to go anywhere if I can help it, save Skye or Venice. Who knows? Maybe I'll see you there some day." Kitty said as she enjoyed those last moments with Durban, holding him so tightly before she let him go to finish packing.

 

[KieranSoares]

The evening was quiet as an air of depression seemed to settle over the keep. Come the next morning, Durban was up at dawn with Matthias to get everything ready. Both had two horses- one to ride and one for pack. Durban only took along the essentials, favoring good gear and tools over anything else. However, he did take a couple small sentimental things from his siblings and mother.

By the time Kitty and the children gathered to see him off to his exile, Tamblin silently emerged as well to watch from afar, alone.

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty stood on the steps of the keep, her arm loop through Boar's as she watched Durban making his final checks on his gear. It was a dreary day, threatening to rain at any moment, but all of the children had gathered to send their brother off properly. Kayla stared down at the ground, more beaten and depressed than any of them had ever seen her. Selena gently held her by the shoulders, giving her support that she didn't know she even needed.

 

[KieranSoares]

Durban finished securing one last strap before taking a deep breath and turning to face his family. Scars were still clear on his hands and neck from his fight where his heavy winter gear ended. He looked over them all before he saw Tamblin off far to the side alone. Matthias stood beside his own horses waiting patiently, having already said his own goodbyes. Durban slowly made his way over to face Boar and Kitty first. He hugged his brother tightly, murmuring to him, "You take care o' them, Lynn... No matter how angry you get, remember what's important an' what you need t'protect. Remember there's nothin' worth losin' your temper over if it hurts them."

Boar simply hugged his brother close, refusing to weep despite the pain in his heart. Durban then turned to Brogan who stood at Kitty's opposite side, and after they embraced, Durban placed his Ghis crest in Brogan's hand. "You keep this safe fer me. I'll come back for it. I promise." Brogan could only nod, tears silently trailing down his face.

Durban came to Selena, kissing her cheek as he hugged her. "Don' you let anyone take your freedom," he whispered so only she could hear. "Take care of everyone, but don' sacrifice your happiness. I'll come back if you have to leave, I'll teach you everything I learn while I'm away." Then he knelt down to Kayla and Ashien, and showed them a leatherbound journal he'd fastened to his belt. "This is gonna be for you two especially, when I fill it up with pictures an' stories like Papa. I'm no' a very good artist... but I'll learn, jus' so I can show you what Normandy looks like, an' anywhere else I go. Th'plants, th'birds, even what Uncle Seamus looks like an' his vineyard. An' if I can, I'll even go t'Venice an' when I come back, no matter how long it takes, I'll bring you back somethin' from Papa. I might even get to bring him here for you one day."

Then he came to Kitty for their last goodbye, wrapping her tiny frame up in his arms. "Tha's a promise for you too," he murmured. "If I make it t'Italy, I'll bring somethin' back. Even Vincenzo if I can, an' Valentina'll be able t'properly join our family with Ashelin an' Warwick an' the boys one day too. It migh' be a long way off, but it'll happen."

 

[heartofcourage]

"One day, I'll hold you to all of that." Kitty whispered, kissing his cheek as they pulled away from one another. "Go say goodbye to your Da. I know he doesn't deserve it, but give him that small mercy for me."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I was going to anyway... He doesn' want this either. But he thinks it's better if I go... tha' it's safer for me." Durban turned to look at his father, and Kitty could see that Tamblin had to force himself not to retreat as Durban approached him. The two spoke quietly to one another, sharing a strange bond based around the understanding of the cruel world they lived in, and that while Tamblin knew his paranoia and instability was the cause of a fair bit of it, much of it was out of their hands thanks to vindictive fate. Tamblin pressed a pouch into Durban's hands, looking to be a purse of coin, and then gave Durban a small, wrapped bundle tied with leather cord. As their final goodbye, Tamblin finally embraced his son for the first time in years, letting their parting end on one of the few positive notes they'd ever shared. Durban returned to his horses, securing the new bundle, and climbed into the saddle. He looked back only once, murmuring, "I love you. All of you. I'll be back, no matter what." And with that, Durban drew his horse around toward the gate, and left the courtyard and Inverness not as a Ghis, but as a newly-exiled wanderer who would not have a home there until a new ruler took the throne.

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty leaned her head against Boar's shoulder, holding his hand tightly as Kayla turned and ran back into the keep, not able to watch her brother leave for what felt like the final time. She would tend to the little girl later, but for the moment, Kitty let herself be weak. Her first born was gone, the boy that had brought her such joy sent away by a cruel father. It was a terrible turn of events.

 

[KieranSoares]

Slowly, after Durban was gone from sight, the family retreated inside. Tamblin remained outside in the cold and snow, staring at the now-closed gate as small snowflakes began to fall, but the wind was calm. It would be cold and slow going for Durban, but manageable.

 

[heartofcourage]

It was a rough week for the family after Durban had gone. The normally calm and cheerful Kayla was sullen and lashed out at everyone. Selena did her best to keep her little sister in check and give her the love that she needed, but it was hard. She was often seen at the front of the keep, looking out as if Durban might magically appear again.

Kitty had taken ill shortly after Durban had left, unable to get herself out of bed for more than a few hours at a time. She stayed that way until one of the children needed her and she would tend to them in any way that she could.

 

[KieranSoares]

Winter wore on slowly as the Ghis children found a new normal. Tamblin was rarely seen, and it seemed Oliver and his men were busy with something, not haunting the family's every step anymore. Durban's letters came about once a month, reporting his travel with Matthias, his arrival in Normandy and Seamus giving him a job, and eventually Matthias returning home once Durban was settled. Come spring, Durban began sending money home to Kitty, specifically with instructions to use it to support their family, and help Selena if she had to leave as they all feared. It was early summer, nearly five months after Durban had left, when Wick re-entered the family's lives with a letter from Lochlan to Selena herself, telling her that Abel was interested to meet her despite all that had happened with the diplomats and her never having been inspected by the doctor.

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty had taken Kayla to Ashelin's house one afternoon after the letter from Lochlan had come, wanting to lift the little girl's spirits and needing to talk to her friend and confidant. As they both sat in front of the fire, Kayla off with Valentina, Kitty noticed just how worn Ashelin looked. She was struggling and Kitty wished there was something she could do to make her all better.

"She tells me she will marry Abel, but she's terrified." Kitty said as she sipped her tea, steering the conversation towards things other than their health. "I told her that she has the right to say no."

 

[KieranSoares]

"She's stuck between doing what she thinks is best for everyone, and what she needs to be happy." Ashelin sighed, shifting in her chair under her blankets. Unlike Kitty, she didn't constantly sway back and forth between good and bad days. While she did have her good days, she was slowly but steadily declining and never getting better. All that anyone could do was make her remaining time comfortable.