Absolution (closed)

[heartofcourage]

Selena stuck close to the castle and the nearby markets, not really ready to set out into the woods. And she watched out for Ghell, expecting him to come any moment. As the days wore on, however, she knew that it was just a childhood fancy and she started to grow more withdrawn. She never let anyone see her sadness, keeping those moments to herself until she was alone when she would cry for her mother and her uvore.

"I think I know what I want to do." Selena said softly one day as she sat with Marianne and Brian at lunch, the sun bright in the parlor that they were settled.

 

[KieranSoares]

"And what is that?" Marianne asked gently. She had been looking out for Ghell as well, sending what search parties they could but finding no sign of any Wolf matching Ghell's description. The closest they came was busting a small hunter camp and freeing a few werefolk about to become pelts.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't think I'm meant to live in a big city like this. There's too much noise and too many people." Selena said softly as Marianne asked her about what she wanted to do. "I think a simple life in a small house on the edge of a loch sounds just about perfect. I don't want to be a princess anymore."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brian and Marianne shared a glance and a nod before Brian offered an idea. "Well, we can certainly arrange that, somewhere out o' the way, but not too far in case y'need help. Til we can build it, though, yer welcome t'stay here, or we can set you up temporarily in a hunting cabin th'boys built a couple years back. They won' be usin' it much til autumn."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I've never really been on my own before." Selena admitted, looking at the both of them. "I suppose I should probably learn what that really means. Staying here, things are done for me. Staying on my own, I'll have to learn to be self sufficient."

If it was one thing that Tamblin had really taught his children, it was how to fend for themselves. She could hunt and ride with the best hunters that Inverness had. The same could be said for her brothers as well.

"I don't have much money. Just what my Ma sent with me and a little that my Da could spare. I'll help to pay for everything, though." Selena swore, not wanting to be in debt to anyone.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You keep that for buying things you need when it's finished. Until then, talk with Gale if you need to learn anything. I know you're a fine hunter, but Gale could teach you about different sorts of trapping, gardening, and so on. He may be Crown Prince, but he could be a homesteader," Marianne encouraged.

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena nodded and glanced down at her barely touched plate of food. Marianne and Brian had been very generous to her and she would be in their debt for a very long time. It was something that she would never forget.

"There's been no word on Ghell, has there." Selena stated as fact and not a question. "He's gone."

 

[KieranSoares]

Marianne sighed softly. "We've done all we could to find him, short of overturning every home in our hold. I won't sugarcoat it for you, dear... A Wolf missing this long is either dead or far gone from our reach. We will keep an eye out just in case, but I don't think there's anything more to be done."

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena let that sink in for a long moment, the feeling of loneliness and sorrow strong in her chest as she took a deep breath to steady herself. She nodded as if she understood what Marianne was saying and would accept it at face value. She would mourn the man that had been her father privately later, but she would never let another person see her sadness.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know you probably don't want to talk or think about it right now, my love," Marianne murmured softly. "But if you ever need to talk, or simply vent, we're here for you. Our whole family is."

"Tha's right," Brian confirmed. "The boys too, they've come t'really like you an' care fer your well-being."

 

[heartofcourage]

“Thank you, but I don’t need to.” Selena said softly as the king and queen offered to be a sympathetic ear if she needed one. “It’s all just one more step in this terrible life.”

 

[KieranSoares]

"Life can be wonderful, dear. You've just yet to see it."

Meanwhile in Inverness, things were quiet. Oliver had long since reported the disappearance of Selena and Ghell toward Edinburgh, but Tamblin had forbidden Oliver to give further chase or to bring them back, retroactively exiling Selena so that no one could bring her back against her will. Tamblin had quietly given up drinking completely, finding no more comfort in bottles and tankards. Instead, Kitty and the children would often find him in the library, reading. Sometimes he'd even read Vincenzo's journals just to lose himself in the illustrations. Perhaps he was punishing himself, reminding himself of what he'd stolen from Kitty. He didn't seem to lose his temper anymore, and he was becoming so distant that oftentimes, the keep guard and staff, even some of Oliver's men, would go to Brogan for orders instead.

Little did the rest know, Tamblin had begun visiting Kitty often in the evenings if she would have him, simply kneeling at her side and laying his head in her lap, lost in all his sins and despair and silently seeking a love he'd long since thrown away in fits of rage and paranoia. He still loved her, that much he showed, but he knew it was far, far too late.

 

[heartofcourage]

“You know, I often wonder what they’re doing right now.” Kitty murmured as she and Tamblin sat quietly in her room. “What Durban is doing and how Selena is fairing. I know Boar will b the next to leave us. Try as he nights, he can’t hide the fact that he’s smitten with that young girl.”

 

[KieranSoares]

For the moment, Tamblin was sitting across from Kitty in an extra armchair, slumped and motionless with absolutely no will to move. As she spoke, his remaining eye lifted from the floor to look at her.

"No' a bad reason t'go..." Tamblin murmured. "... I'll help if I can, if 'e does leave."

Slowly, he sat forward and let his arms rest on his knees. "I talked with Brogan today... About him takin' over... He practically already is, anyway... It's time fer me t'go."

 

[heartofcourage]

“You’re asking our boy with the softest heart to effectively kill you.” Kitty said as Tamblin muttered about Brogan taking over. “Think hard about that, Tamblin. Once you make the choice, it can’t be undone. He’s very young still, anyway.”

 

[KieranSoares]

"He wants t'do it," Tamblin murmured, "not because he hates me 'r thinks I should die... But because 'e wants t'give me an honorable end... An' he wants t'give me some peace." Tamblin's head dipped down to rest in his hands. "I deserve t'live an' suffer fer th'rest o' my days... I deserve t'be tired an' scared. But Brogan doesn' think so. He wants t'get me help... But I jus' want it to end..."

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty let out a soft sigh as Tamblin spoke of ending his life by using their son to do the deed. "Tamblin, we've been married almost 20 years. In all of that time, I've never heard you talk like this. You've been depressed, out of your mind, all manner of things that I have never understood, but you have never talked like this before in your life."

 

[KieranSoares]

"He's offerin' to be my way out, but with some dignity... He understands tha' there's nothin' left fer a monster like me, even if I jus' fade into obscurity. I've ruined everythin' fer the sake o' my own fear an' let some snake control me... I chased away two beautiful children... I don' deserve t'be alive. Brogan thinks otherwise... But he knows I jus' want to sleep, an' never wake up. So he's going t'follow Selena an' Durban's example, but he's going t'win. I won' jus' lay down an' let it happen, I need t'know he really can be a warrior king. But... I know he'll win. He's a better swordsman than Durban, a better duelist too."

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty was very quiet as he told her that, knowing that this was what he wanted and had wanted for a very long time. She thought about life after Tamblin, about how hard it would be to put Inverness back together, but how she might have a chance for a future with her true love.

"We had some good times." Kitty said softly. "You gave me six beautiful, lovely children. I'm sorry that I wasn't the queen or wife that you needed me to be."

 

[KieranSoares]

"You were an' are everythin' a sane man could want, Kitty," Tamblin told her softly, a glimpse of the man he used to be shining through more and more as Inverness was lifted off his shoulders. "If I'd jus' been better... We'd 'ave had a good marriage... An' more than one o' my children would love me an' they'd all know fer sure tha' I love them. An' you'd know how much I always loved you... An' how much I wish I'd let you go in Greece."

 

[heartofcourage]

"It would have killed you." Kitty said, knowing that if he had let her go in Greece, he would never have survived as long as he did. "And I would never have been able to live with myself if that had happened. I don't really know how I'll live with myself after you're gone."

"There is something that I ask of you. Before anything happens, I want you to sit down and write a letter to each of the children, telling them everything you ever wanted to tell them. I'll keep those letters save until I'm sure that they're ready to read them." Kitty knew Tamblin needed a clean conscience and to tell each of the children just how he felt about them.

 

[KieranSoares]

Tamblin nodded at her request. "I intend to... An' I want you t'be with Vincenzo. When yer ready. An' bring Valentina home. Warwick an' Ashelin too, if they want t'come back. Bring everyone home tha' I chased away if y'can... An' support Brogan. He'll be wha' I an' my father could never be... He's a good lad, through and through."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Ashelin doesn't have much time left." Kitty told him softly. "She'll be gone before next winter. Warwick I'm sure will leave for good when she is gone and when the boys are grown."

 

[KieranSoares]

Tamblin sighed heavily at that. "I'm sorry... I know how much she means t'you." Slowly he came to kneel at her side, his ruined leg making his movements stiff. He laid his head on her lap as he'd done long ago and as of late. "I'm sorry, love," he repeated softly, the apology spanning much further than just her coming losses.

 

[heartofcourage]

"As am I, love." Kitty murmured as Tamblin rested his head in her lap and apologized for all of those wrongs that he had committed against her. "I wish I simply could have been what you needed. Then maybe none of this would have happened."