Advice please

[twysted73]

*applauds*

great information and advice

And I applause along with you, EF.

A very good piece of advice, Twysted.

I thank you for your kind words. I just hope they help her. Nothing other then love is more tempestuous to the soul then sexual conflict. And the fact isn't wasted on me that they're usually connected.

 

[subwannabe]

While reading down through these posts I had an answer I was going to write but Catalina pretty much said word for word what I would have. I was madly in love with one or two or three "girls" when I was younger. Every time it seemed like it was true love and I would never find another who made me feel that way. As you grow older you begin to realize compatibility has more to do with real "love" than anything else, and that means a lot of compatibility. For a sexual being compatibility includes being sexually compatible. Inevitably you are both destined to part and find someone else. There is no reason you can't remain friends but it is actually unfair to both of you to waste your time on the wrong person unless you are not really interested in a long term relationship anyway. By continuing a dating relationship with the wrong person you may miss meeting Mr. and Mrs. right and you are eventually setting up a breakup with hard feelings and then you won't have each other as friends anymore.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[SirLeo]

No Lying No Cheating

My advice is don't do anything you have to lie or cheat about. I have been down that road. Sooner or later the truth comes out. The lies and cheating eat away at your soul and your mental health, overtime it affects your physical health. Be wary of rationalizations and justifications. A friend once said "You can justify anything" ANd of course, don't forget the hurt you can cause to your partner.

m and I have been together for 16 years now. We didn't start with the kind of relationship we have today. Trust, communication, take time. Fears can be deep rooted and have nothing to do with your partner. Even being aware of these things takes lots of time, let alone overcomming them.

So if your boyfriend is going to be your life partner, then you need to make certain that you are both aware of things that will need to be worked on and talked about and resolved through the years and be patient. Because a life time of love is worth more than getting your itch scratched.

However, if he's just a bf and not the "one" for you, then don't settle for soemthing that doesn't fulfill your short term needs. Given that you are both relatively young, my guess is you're not looking at a lifetime relationship. Find someone you can openly and honestly explore with and have fun.

Best wishes.

 

[00Syd]

What you don't seem to get is that I'm not sitting here pointing the finger at you and your advice while singling out you or anyone offering advice while going on about how wrong their opinion is. I'm stating MY OPINION.

Hey, I didn't think that you were, and I know that you are stating your opinion, as I was mine. Both our opinions are obviously based on very different experiences, and so we are coming at this in two different ways. I really feel for NYsAngel and am trying to give her some useful advice, I know we all are.

I'm sorry if you felt like I was going on and on about how wrong your advice is, because its not wrong, I just wanted to put it out there that I think maybe a different approach is needed.

Thats all.

 

[BiBunny]

The only thing I'm going to say is that if you truly feel something deep in your soul, then you're never going to be able to bury it just to make someone else happy. There's a breaking point for everyone. Nobody ever believes that piece of wisdom until they reach their own breaking point, and then they go back and say, "Yeah. She was right, after all."

Dangerous emotional territory for Teh Bunneh, so I'm not going to go any farther with this. I wish you well.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[00Syd]

Quoting someone's post to say how much you disagree with them, and ending your statement with, I don't think thats really being very helpful...
followed by saying that you don't think their opinion is wrong is contradictive.
You strike me as that type who says one thing, then says the opposite and then backpaddles to make nice-nice.
Save it for somebody else please.

I said I didn't think it was helpful because I don't. That doesn't mean, however, that i think its a "wrong" or invalid opinion. I said in the original post in question that your point is valid.

Sorry if you think I'm hypocritical or whatever.

I was never trying to personally attack you or anything, but if you can't handle it when someone disagrees with you, thats fine. You don't have to read my posts.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[HottieMama]

The only thing I'm going to say is that if you truly feel something deep in your soul, then you're never going to be able to bury it just to make someone else happy. There's a breaking point for everyone. Nobody ever believes that piece of wisdom until they reach their own breaking point, and then they go back and say, "Yeah. She was right, after all."

Dangerous emotional territory for Teh Bunneh, so I'm not going to go any farther with this. I wish you well.

Totally agree with Teh Bunneh here. If you try to bury it you will only make yourself VERY VERY miserable.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[BiBunny]

Totally agree with Teh Bunneh here. If you try to bury it you will only make yourself VERY VERY miserable.

Yep.

Me too.
I agree with the bury vs misery statement here too..
Yep.. true.

Yep.

Yep. I have a man I'd like y'all to talk to about this....

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[00Syd]

While I handle constructive criticism quite well.
I just have a strong distaste for double standards passed off as friendly debate, uninformed opinions, and dumb twats.

Your dumb twat is blocked. No longer an issue on my screen.

Wow, that was a mature way to deal with a disagreement. You sure handle constructive criticism well, its just disagreements with your ideas that you can't handle. Hm, and calling me a dumb twat, that sure makes you seem like you enjoy friendly debate.

Sorry you can't handle it when people disagree with you. Sorry your too dense to work through what someone is saying instead of assuming that its a personal attack. And I can admit that I have many uniformed opinions on many things (as I'm sure most people do whether they are willing to admit it or not) but I personally don't think my opinions are uninformed on this matter since I have directly relatable experience in this matter.

I tried to explain and clarify my view but you took that as me back-tracking and trying to "make nice." I didn't see any reason why I would really need to make nice in the first place since I never attacked you by calling you something like a dumb twat, but I thought it might be nice to be friendly.

But why am I even bothering to talk to you? Instead of dealing with the issue you just blocked me.

What a pity, you dense bitch.

 

[00Syd]

I am working hard on controling those urges. It's like National-No-Name-Calling-Week and stuff.

Wow, she is doing a GREAT job.

 

[EmpressFi]

My advice is don't do anything you have to lie or cheat about. I have been down that road. Sooner or later the truth comes out. The lies and cheating eat away at your soul and your mental health, overtime it affects your physical health. Be wary of rationalizations and justifications. A friend once said "You can justify anything" ANd of course, don't forget the hurt you can cause to your partner.

m and I have been together for 16 years now. We didn't start with the kind of relationship we have today. Trust, communication, take time. Fears can be deep rooted and have nothing to do with your partner. Even being aware of these things takes lots of time, let alone overcomming them.

So if your boyfriend is going to be your life partner, then you need to make certain that you are both aware of things that will need to be worked on and talked about and resolved through the years and be patient. Because a life time of love is worth more than getting your itch scratched.

However, if he's just a bf and not the "one" for you, then don't settle for soemthing that doesn't fulfill your short term needs. Given that you are both relatively young, my guess is you're not looking at a lifetime relationship. Find someone you can openly and honestly explore with and have fun.

Best wishes.

This is the closest one for me..

I've been just reading, kind of following along.

I guess the two things that touch home to me is that what you desire to keep secret, eventually comes out and usually when it does, it's more painful than had it been discussed in the first place

And secondly, if your bf isnt "the one"... dont settle because it's "nice" or "comfy".. dont.. settle.. It might work for a while, but think of what you've deprived yourself

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

A very peacful life where my bf treats me like a princess and spoils me and has regular old sex with me. Or a life where i'm with a Master...having my sexual needs and fantasies met, but not being with my bestfriend(bf).

My only question is why can't you have both? I am my little girl's boyfriend, Master, Daddy, best friend, confidant, lover, etc.

There is no rule that says your Master can't be your best friend or even the love of your life.

I'm sure this has been said many times in this thread but decide if your fantasy of having a Master is more than just a fantasy and how badly you want it to be a reality.

Also I don't think age is that much of an issue as I am 25 and my little girl is 19. It's more about experiences.

 

[subkitty72]

This is the closest one for me..

I've been just reading, kind of following along.

I guess the two things that touch home to me is that what you desire to keep secret, eventually comes out and usually when it does, it's more painful than had it been discussed in the first place

And secondly, if your bf isnt "the one"... dont settle because it's "nice" or "comfy".. dont.. settle.. It might work for a while, but think of what you've deprived yourself

Amen, little fi. Amen.

as i live and breathe, amen.

to the OP i would say...

exactly what fi said.

Not helpful, not comforting, but ultimately, true. If you want to hear advice based on personal experiences, you could do a lot worse than listening here.

Sure, there's a possibility of a happy ending. But what is the probability?

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Good luck, little angel.

 

[NYsAngel]

My only question is why can't you have both? I am my little girl's boyfriend, Master, Daddy, best friend, confidant, lover, etc.

There is no rule that says your Master can't be your best friend or even the love of your life.

I'm sure this has been said many times in this thread but decide if your fantasy of having a Master is more than just a fantasy and how badly you want it to be a reality.

Also I don't think age is that much of an issue as I am 25 and my little girl is 19. It's more about experiences.

That's for your imput. What I was saying in that quote is just that my bf is my bestfriend so I'm be leaving that behind. I mean im sure in life I could find a new boyfriend who could become my best friend and a master but quite frankly i'm happy with the best friend i have now.

I really treasure friendship and have a hard time abandoning them cause I went through something tramatizing when I was 15-16 and I got depressed over it and my so called friends ditched me cause i was always so down. Because of my bf staying with me through all the depression spells, crying fits, and anger fits I just feel like how could i leave someone like that, someone willing to put up with so much for me.

 

[NYsAngel]

I thank you for your kind words. I just hope they help her. Nothing other then love is more tempestuous to the soul then sexual conflict. And the fact isn't wasted on me that they're usually connected.

Ironically your advice is the advice I took, and I thank you. The advice "just break up with him it's gonna happen anyway" just isn't me... I can't leave someone I love without atleast trying to make it work.

I just worry that half my heart wants to stay with him and not lose him and the other half wants to experiment and have fun... the other half is really fricken confused. I'll keep thinking but I feel like my head is gonna explode.

 

[00Syd]

Ironically your advice is the advice I took, and I thank you. The advice "just break up with him it's gonna happen anyway" just isn't me... I can't leave someone I love without atleast trying to make it work.

I just worry that half my heart wants to stay with him and not lose him and the other half wants to experiment and have fun... the other half is really fricken confused. I'll keep thinking but I feel like my head is gonna explode.

I'm glad that your going to try and make it work. If it doesn't, it doesn't, but at least you gave it your best shot. I've got my fingers crossed for you!

*Hugs!*

 

[YourCaptor]

That is what I would refer to as an uncalled for and unproductive comment.

She made it clear that this guy is important for her and that she loves him. Why putting him down 'cause he happens to have a different sexuality than yours?

This is the kind of stuff that always gets me irritated with the whole kink community. I'm really new at this, not so far off from my vanilla past, and I mean, just because someone is vanilla doesn't mean they are boring, it just means that they aren't into the same twisted stuff that we are. I'm sure you were joking, but still. No need to insult the guy.

Errr… damn

I thought it was funny… sorry, German sense of humor. I meant it as a joke.

It’s great that you love him so much, especially with love being such a rare commodity.

I apologize

 

[MechaBlade]

This is maddening.

 

[twysted73]

Has there been progress I wonder? Has the list been delivered and well received?