Advice please

[NYsAngel]

Has there been progress I wonder? Has the list been delivered and well received?

The list worked... He looked through it, I gave him time to just look at it. He said he'd try them... I think he's planning something for valentines cause he mentioned a hotel and he was asking a lot of questions about bdsm, which I was happy to answer.

My one and only issue is the fact that he thinks it's all about sex... but the lifestyle also interests me, you know what I mean?

He said he was so hesitant when i mentioned bdsm was because he thought it was all torture... he thought I wanted him shoving needles in my breast and everything... I explained to him it wouldn't be like that and he seemed releived.

I've been trying to find good articles or something he can read so he can learn about the lifestyle cause I kept trying to explain to him what I want and he seemed confused... I thought maybe an actual article would make it click in his head better. So if anyone knows of any good articles please sent them my way, that would be great.

Aside from all that, I just worry he's trying to do all this change just to make me happy... I want him to really be interested, not just do it cause he fears losing me.

 

[otter09]

Hi angel

Hi angel hope you doing well

 

[FurryFury]

The list worked... He looked through it, I gave him time to just look at it. He said he'd try them... I think he's planning something for valentines cause he mentioned a hotel and he was asking a lot of questions about bdsm, which I was happy to answer.

My one and only issue is the fact that he thinks it's all about sex... but the lifestyle also interests me, you know what I mean?

He said he was so hesitant when i mentioned bdsm was because he thought it was all torture... he thought I wanted him shoving needles in my breast and everything... I explained to him it wouldn't be like that and he seemed releived.

I've been trying to find good articles or something he can read so he can learn about the lifestyle cause I kept trying to explain to him what I want and he seemed confused... I thought maybe an actual article would make it click in his head better. So if anyone knows of any good articles please sent them my way, that would be great.

Aside from all that, I just worry he's trying to do all this change just to make me happy... I want him to really be interested, not just do it cause he fears losing me.

Take it from me, focusing on the moment will make you far happier than demanding in your soul that he be into it and not just doing it to make you happy. There quite possibly lies the road to nothing but stop signs. Enjoy what you have, a wonderful partner willing to try things.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Take it from me, focusing on the moment will make you far happier than demanding in your soul that he be into it and not just doing it to make you happy. There quite possibly lies the road to nothing but stop signs. Enjoy what you have, a wonderful partner willing to try things.

I agree she doesn't have to find out right now but at some point she should because the relationship won't last if he is not into it or if she ignores how he feels and just focuses on herself the whole time.

At some point if he is not into it he will just get fed up and say its over.

 

[FurryFury]

I agree she doesn't have to find out right now but at some point she should because the relationship won't last if he is not into it or if she ignores how he feels and just focuses on herself the whole time.

At some point if he is not into it he will just get fed up and say its over.

I agree with the first part of your post. I will also say I've fucked up by worrying far too much over this sort of thing. People rarely do what they truly don't want to.

 

[twysted73]

BDSM 101 by Jay Weissman.

THIS was one of the very first books I read on bondage.
The author is candid in his delivery, non-pressuring and actually cracks a few jokes here and there as he explains things in a very simple and easy-going manner.
(your husband would find his demeanor much like his own. Not Dominant or submissive, he comes off as just another guy who happens to know quite a lot about the subject at hand)
To look at it the cover is half black, half white with a photo of a crop. I've since (gladly) given it to another who needed it MUCH more then I did by that point.
(or else I'd send my own copy to you)
You can EASILY locate this book on Amazon.com. I'm not sure where else to find it.
Is Borders or Waldenbooks that openminded? Anyone?


I love sexual progress. It's so psychologically (and intoxicatingly) rejuvinating.

I need someone to bite on now. Grrrr.....

 

[Adakgirl]

Ok so he just does not understand it because you can't make yourself clear on exactly what you want from him? Do you really know what you want from him? Sounded to me like you have only tried to explain what you want sexually from him, that you may not understand the whole power exchange thing yourself. It is not as simple as you might think it is.
Why would you have to give up your friendship with him if he can't give you what you want sexually? If he is your best friend like you say, then of course he wants you to be happy. Are you his best friend too? I think you BOTH need to explore this together.
Were you really feeling satisfied with that on-line Dom?
Is it your submission to him that you enjoy? Did you like pleasing him? Was it the he way he took you under his control, the way he directed you? The way he made you do naughty things on cam for him? Was it when he told you that you were a "good girl" ?
You should explore just what it is about this lifestyle that attracts you and what turns you on about it. Only then can you make your b/f understand what you desire from him. Even then there is no guarantee he will ever understand it. This lifestyle is not for everyone, and you can't fit a square peg in a round hole.
I wish you luck, sounds as if he's trying to get some idea of what you are asking of him anyway and is willing to try it.