AI Rejection

[jhealy55]

I've submitted 5 stories in the last 10 days and all sailed through with zero hiccups.

Best advice I can give you:

Stop using anything besides spell-check. If you don't know what your 'editor' is doing. stop using them.

Focus on tone and flow, particularly with modifiers and dialogue. Make sure you have good continuity in your characters and story line. Pay attention to paragraph breaks and create them manually. The software won't know where to break them up properly if you're just feeding it a block of text, particularly if you're using something like voice to text and skipping all the punctuation.

The samples that others shared really suffered in readability and felt very hard to follow. Surplus of modifiers that sounded like someone pulled them at random from a thesaurus. The paragraph breaks were very awkward. The dialogue was stiff, sterile and conveyed little/no emotional depth.

Lastly- Don't keep submitting the same version that got rejected. Go back, put in the time to make it as readable as you can before you re-submit. Pounding the table and demanding reconsideration seems to be the express lane to the 'ignore' folder in these instances.

hope that helps

 

[RedFireBrand]

No. You should redact your post. The site doesn't allow links to alternate sites, other than from your Sig Block, your profile, and the one thread that allows you to promote books.

Fixed

 

[STrent]

I've submitted 5 stories in the last 10 days and all sailed through with zero hiccups.

Best advice I can give you:

Stop using anything besides spell-check. If you don't know what your 'editor' is doing. stop using them.

Focus on tone and flow, particularly with modifiers and dialogue. Make sure you have good continuity in your characters and story line. Pay attention to paragraph breaks and create them manually. The software won't know where to break them up properly if you're just feeding it a block of text, particularly if you're using something like voice to text and skipping all the punctuation.

The samples that others shared really suffered in readability and felt very hard to follow. Surplus of modifiers that sounded like someone pulled them at random from a thesaurus. The paragraph breaks were very awkward. The dialogue was stiff, sterile and conveyed little/no emotional depth.

Lastly- Don't keep submitting the same version that got rejected. Go back, put in the time to make it as readable as you can before you re-submit. Pounding the table and demanding reconsideration seems to be the express lane to the 'ignore' folder in these instances.

hope that helps

I do feel like there’s an element of luck here though.

I have 7 chapters, all pending, two of which were rejected because I used the word “sample” in the titles (I’ve since corrected that and apologised to Laurel privately).

I’m at the point where it’s taken so long to get just one chapter published that it is starting to take the fun out of trying this new line of writing. I normally write history books and engineering reports for a living - this has been a breath of fresh air - but it’s no fun without being able to get feedback.

 

[StillStunned]

Focus on tone and flow, particularly with modifiers and dialogue. Make sure you have good continuity in your characters and story line. Pay attention to paragraph breaks and create them manually. The software won't know where to break them up properly if you're just feeding it a block of text, particularly if you're using something like voice to text and skipping all the punctuation.

The samples that others shared really suffered in readability and felt very hard to follow. Surplus of modifiers that sounded like someone pulled them at random from a thesaurus. The paragraph breaks were very awkward. The dialogue was stiff, sterile and conveyed little/no emotional depth.

This.

I've posted here before about the importance of writing proper paragraphs. A paragraph isn't a collection of sentences to convey information. A paragraph is a self-contained unit where every piece of information logically ties in with the information around it. It should read like a camera panning over a scene.

Also, for online reading, paragraphs should be short. Looking at a story I'm writing at the moment, I'd say 25-40 words, occasionally going perhaps as high as 50 words.

 

[RedFireBrand]

I've submitted 5 stories in the last 10 days and all sailed through with zero hiccups.

Best advice I can give you:

Stop using anything besides spell-check. If you don't know what your 'editor' is doing. stop using them.

Focus on tone and flow, particularly with modifiers and dialogue. Make sure you have good continuity in your characters and story line. Pay attention to paragraph breaks and create them manually. The software won't know where to break them up properly if you're just feeding it a block of text, particularly if you're using something like voice to text and skipping all the punctuation.

The samples that others shared really suffered in readability and felt very hard to follow. Surplus of modifiers that sounded like someone pulled them at random from a thesaurus. The paragraph breaks were very awkward. The dialogue was stiff, sterile and conveyed little/no emotional depth.

Lastly- Don't keep submitting the same version that got rejected. Go back, put in the time to make it as readable as you can before you re-submit. Pounding the table and demanding reconsideration seems to be the express lane to the 'ignore' folder in these instances.

hope that helps

Every submission was different. My editor gives me a list of corrections and I decide what to fix. I have piles of paragraph breaks and it is certainly not a block. Readability doesn't seem to be an issue either.

Lastly, I am not pounding the table and making demands. I am stating I am not doing the thing I am being rejected for, like many others, and suggesting the system for detection is flawed. You cant fix something if you dont know its broken so I am trying to figure out where the problem is.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Every submission was different. My editor gives me a list of corrections and I decide what to fix. I have piles of paragraph breaks and it is certainly not a block. Readability doesn't seem to be an issue either.

Lastly, I am not pounding the table and making demands. I am stating I am not doing the thing I am being rejected for, like many others, and suggesting the system for detection is flawed. You cant fix something if you dont know its broken so I am trying to figure out where the problem is.

You could try what I suggested.

Exactly how I suggested it.

Post a sample here. Is that problematic?

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

You could try what I suggested.

Exactly how I suggested it.

Post a sample here. Is that problematic?

Emily

Sorry, I have it all posted on DA and my profile name there is Red-Fire-Brand if you wanna look me up, but I can drop some of it here.

******

Cyrene hated giving speeches. Getting ready to be seen on television was tedious enough when she stood behind her father, but it was worse when she, not the King, was the focus. The part that genuinely ate away at her was that she always felt like she was lying. An offhand remark before the invasion about the unlikeliness of it made everyone want her to explain herself. Her husband had suggested changing the narrative to that of resistance. That it should have been an unlikely attack because of the resolve of her people would make it impossible to win. After that, she was always on the screens trying to rally the people and keep their morale high. Even though she, living in the palace and hearing all the reports, not just the ones told to the public, knew how bad it really was.

“I know he is busy, but you would think the King should be doing this.” Cyrene emphasized the title partly because she didn’t feel it was the Princess’s role to do the task but also because she addressed him as ‘dad’ too often in public and had to train herself to avoid it.

“He is forty-two, balding, and a man. You are a purple-haired Princess with…” her husband admired her chest. “...a much better-developed set of personality traits.”

Cyrene looked down at her cleavage and then glared at her husband. “I’m so happy you see my worth as a woman.”

They laughed, and Cyrene was held tightly in her husband's arms.

Her husband tried to console her with facts. “I know you are worried about how things might go. But you weren’t wrong. They are too far from home to sustain themselves. We are an island. They attacked us before even trying for anything on the mainland. We have them bottled up on the beach and in the hills, boxing them in. Even if other countries don’t intervene, they will starve themselves.”

“Davion, you don’t see everything I do. We are just as bottled up with our navy stuck in port. Rationing will only get us so far. Yes, nominally, we have more than them, but we have more mouths to feed.” Cyrene didn’t want to discuss the quality disparity between their troops and the invaders.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

You aren't going to get the views and feedback you get here anywhere else. It's sad but it's the truth. Otherwise, I would have been out of here long ago.

Can not confirm.

I posted one of my books to the other site last year, and it got 150 comments and over twelve-hundred votes within the first month of publication. That was almost ten months ago, and it still gets roughly 900 downloads a week.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sorry, I have it all posted on DA and my profile name there is Red-Fire-Brand if you wanna look me up, but I can drop some of it here.

******

Cyrene hated giving speeches. Getting ready to be seen on television was tedious enough when she stood behind her father, but it was worse when she, not the King, was the focus. The part that genuinely ate away at her was that she always felt like she was lying. An offhand remark before the invasion about the unlikeliness of it made everyone want her to explain herself. Her husband had suggested changing the narrative to that of resistance. That it should have been an unlikely attack because of the resolve of her people would make it impossible to win. After that, she was always on the screens trying to rally the people and keep their morale high. Even though she, living in the palace and hearing all the reports, not just the ones told to the public, knew how bad it really was.

“I know he is busy, but you would think the King should be doing this.” Cyrene emphasized the title partly because she didn’t feel it was the Princess’s role to do the task but also because she addressed him as ‘dad’ too often in public and had to train herself to avoid it.

“He is forty-two, balding, and a man. You are a purple-haired Princess with…” her husband admired her chest. “...a much better-developed set of personality traits.”

Cyrene looked down at her cleavage and then glared at her husband. “I’m so happy you see my worth as a woman.”

They laughed, and Cyrene was held tightly in her husband's arms.

Her husband tried to console her with facts. “I know you are worried about how things might go. But you weren’t wrong. They are too far from home to sustain themselves. We are an island. They attacked us before even trying for anything on the mainland. We have them bottled up on the beach and in the hills, boxing them in. Even if other countries don’t intervene, they will starve themselves.”

“Davion, you don’t see everything I do. We are just as bottled up with our navy stuck in port. Rationing will only get us so far. Yes, nominally, we have more than them, but we have more mouths to feed.” Cyrene didn’t want to discuss the quality disparity between their troops and the invaders.

Thank you.

Will read.

Emily

 

[ElectricBlue]

You've got a string of long sentences - there's nothing wrong with that, per se, but I think that's a feature of the AI content I've seen. Maybe mix it up more, change your sentence lengths. It's all rather "tell" not "show", too, and the dialogue has a similar tone to the narrative - it's a bit like reading a report. Maybe the dialogue could be less formal?

I don't think I'd have thought, "That sounds a AI ish to me," but I can see how an algorithm might. It's somewhat "samey", but I've read far worse. It's bitch, though, not being able to get it through.

 

[EmilyMiller]

OK - I’m really not trying to be rude. Though I guess I could come across as such. I’m really just trying to help.

I found;

Cyrene hated giving speeches. Getting ready to be seen on television was tedious enough when she stood behind her father, but it was worse when she, not the King, was the focus. The part that genuinely ate away at her was that she always felt like she was lying. An offhand remark before the invasion about the unlikeliness of it made everyone want her to explain herself. Her husband had suggested changing the narrative to that of resistance. That it should have been an unlikely attack because of the resolve of her people would make it impossible to win. After that, she was always on the screens trying to rally the people and keep their morale high. Even though she, living in the palace and hearing all the reports, not just the ones told to the public, knew how bad it really was.

To be kinda off. I can’t really put my finger on it. But it just scanned weirdly for me. It felt a little unnatural.

Again, I’m not trying to be rude, or to critique your work, but it reads a little strangely.

Like this is an odd sentence;

An offhand remark before the invasion about the unlikeliness of it made everyone want her to explain herself.

I had to read it a few times to get the hang of it. Other bits are like that. E.g.

That it should have been an unlikely attack because of the resolve of her people would make it impossible to win.

Huh?

Or

Her husband had suggested changing the narrative to that of resistance.

It’s just an odd way of framing the words.

Could be nothing. As I say, no offense intended.

Emily

 

[EmilyMiller]

They laughed, and Cyrene was held tightly in her husband's arms.

Odd use of passive out of the blue.

Emily

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Can not confirm.

I posted one of my books to the other site last year, and it got 150 comments and over twelve-hundred votes within the first month of publication. That was almost ten months ago, and it still gets roughly 900 downloads a week.

Free site? Is it fanfic?

 

[EmilyMiller]

We have them bottled up on the beach and in the hills, boxing them in.

Strange counterpoint of bottle and box. Was this suggested to you?

It’s a bit uncanny valley to me, I’m afraid.

Again. Sorry if I offend.

Emily

 

[EmilyMiller]

This is awkward too:

Yes, nominally, we have more than them, but we have more mouths to feed.

Nominally grates. And some nouns missing. More what than them? More resources? More gold coins.

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

Relax, I am not going to fly off the handle because of what you think of my writing. It is helpful to get feedback.

I do perhaps have an odd way of saying things lol I can only say that it makes sense to me.

I also like to write dialog how I would speak myself, so maybe I talk weird?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Contrast with:

We are richer nation, but we have many more mouths to feed.

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

They arnt a richer nation, they just have the home field advantage.

 

[StillStunned]

Cyrene hated giving speeches. Getting ready to be seen on television was tedious enough when she stood behind her father, but it was worse when she, not the King, was the focus. The part that genuinely ate away at her was that she always felt like she was lying. An offhand remark before the invasion about the unlikeliness of it made everyone want her to explain herself. Her husband had suggested changing the narrative to that of resistance. That it should have been an unlikely attack because of the resolve of her people would make it impossible to win. After that, she was always on the screens trying to rally the people and keep their morale high. Even though she, living in the palace and hearing all the reports, not just the ones told to the public, knew how bad it really was.

This would be an OK paragraph in a business report. I've spent the past 25 years editing for the professional services, and this paragraph reminds me of that style. (And as an editor: get rid of those double spaces. You're not using a typewriter.)

“I know he is busy, but you would think the King should be doing this.” Cyrene emphasized the title partly because she didn’t feel it was the Princess’s role to do the task but also because she addressed him as ‘dad’ too often in public and had to train herself to avoid it.

“He is forty-two, balding, and a man. You are a purple-haired Princess with…” her husband admired her chest. “...a much better-developed set of personality traits.”

Cyrene looked down at her cleavage and then glared at her husband. “I’m so happy you see my worth as a woman.”

They laughed, and Cyrene was held tightly in her husband's arms.

Her husband tried to console her with facts. “I know you are worried about how things might go. But you weren’t wrong. They are too far from home to sustain themselves. We are an island. They attacked us before even trying for anything on the mainland. We have them bottled up on the beach and in the hills, boxing them in. Even if other countries don’t intervene, they will starve themselves.”

“Davion, you don’t see everything I do. We are just as bottled up with our navy stuck in port. Rationing will only get us so far. Yes, nominally, we have more than them, but we have more mouths to feed.” Cyrene didn’t want to discuss the quality disparity between their troops and the invaders.

Besides the telling-not-showing that others have noted, you're going back and forth between using contractions and not using them. That makes the text feel stilted and disjointed, like bits and pieces taken from different works. That could be a trigger for an AI detector.

Hope this is useful, and please don't interpret it as an attack on your style. Just trying to help identify where the problem is.

Apart from the double spaces, of course. Lose them. Find and replace, it only takes a few seconds.

 

[EmilyMiller]

They arnt a richer nation, they just have the home field advantage.

See, you know that, but it reads strangely, and I did not get that meaning at all.

You said that you have an editor, right?

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

This would be an OK paragraph in a business report. I've spent the past 25 years editing for the professional services, and this paragraph reminds me of that style. (And as an editor: get rid of those double spaces. You're not using a typewriter.)

Besides the telling-not-showing that others have noted, you're going back and forth between using contractions and not using them. That makes the text feel stilted and disjointed, like bits and pieces taken from different works. That could be a trigger for an AI detector.

Hope this is useful, and please don't interpret it as an attack on your style. Just trying to help identify where the problem is.

Apart from the double spaces, of course. Lose them. Find and replace, it only takes a few seconds.

I grew up always learning to type with double spaces lol its a habit and it looks weird without them. But I get your meaning.

A lot of the telling comes from trying to set up the story, showing all the details would take too much time and add nothing. So I wanted to get it out of the way there. As for the contractions, I will keep that in mind.

 

[EmilyMiller]

This would be an OK paragraph in a business report. I've spent the past 25 years editing for the professional services, and this paragraph reminds me of that style. (And as an editor: get rid of those double spaces. You're not using a typewriter.)

Besides the telling-not-showing that others have noted, you're going back and forth between using contractions and not using them. That makes the text feel stilted and disjointed, like bits and pieces taken from different works. That could be a trigger for an AI detector.

Hope this is useful, and please don't interpret it as an attack on your style. Just trying to help identify where the problem is.

Apart from the double spaces, of course. Lose them. Find and replace, it only takes a few seconds.

I think stilted and a little disjointed covers it. And meanings not always being clear.

Anyway. I don’t want you to feel we are piling on. So I’ll leave it at that.

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

I think stilted and a little disjointed covers it. And meanings not always being clear.

Anyway. I don’t want you to feel we are piling on. So I’ll leave it at that.

Emily

This has been very helpful. Feedback has been so rare for me. My editor finds a LOT of good stuff for me to fix, but maybe our brains work in a similar pattern.

 

[EmilyMiller]

At the risk of flogging a dead horse, just trying to help. I can imagine it is very frustrating.

Emily

 

[RedFireBrand]

At the risk of flogging a dead horse, just trying to help. I can imagine it is very frustrating.

Emily

Its fine. But I have been writing this way for 8 years on here, I dont think its what is getting my new story rejected. Still, I will keep it in mind. Feel free to read Steampunk Harlots on here and let me know what you think.