And she'll have pun, pun, pun...

My ex was crazy. She always wanted me to spank her with celery. Finally I agreed, and the next day she had me arrested for stalking. :rolleyes:
 
Little Johnny hears strange noises from his parents bedroom, He opens their bedroom door, only to see his mum, (who is moaning like crazy) laid underneath his dad, as he bounces up and down upon her. His dad realising the door is open and that he's been watched by his son, starts laughing and tells him to "shut the door and go away".
10 Min's later dad hears a scream from the youngsters room and on investigating, finds to his horror that little Johnny is forcing his granny to bend over the bed whilst he furiously butt fucks the old dear.
Hearing his father enter, Little Johnny turns round and says grinning
"It's not so fucking funny now its your mother is it ?"
 
Umm, wherein lies the pun?


(i) PUN n. 1. the use of words to exploit ambiguities and innuendos for humorous effect; a play on words.

(ii) PUN vb PUNNING, PUNNED. (tr,) Brit. to pack (earth, rubble, etc.) by pounding [C16: var. of POUND]

AMBIGUITY n., pl . -TIES. 1. vagueness or uncertainty of meaning.

'The new Collins Concise English Dictionary' (1985)


I think little Jonnys confusion regarding sexual intercourse between his parents and his way of communicating this confusion to his father is comical enough with out my resorting to butt fucking slang but if your still in any doubt "The pun is rammed up Granny's bum"
 
Please Do Not Chillax
Adjoinages and the death of the American pun.

I am appalled by Bridezillas. I should make it clear that I have never seen an episode of the reality show. I hate Bridezillas for one simple reason: Bride does not rhyme with god. Ergo, Bridezillas is not a functioning pun.

The point is significant because bridezilla appears to be symptomatic of a wider malaise: the death of the American pun, replaced by something grosser, dumber, uglier. Examples abound: Take one of the most read websites in the world, Wikipedia, a “pun” on encyclopedia that shares nothing but its suffix. Or techpreneur, the loathsome fusion of technology and entrepreneur. Likewise mansplain, a coinage popular with Internet feminists that adroitly glosses a man addressing a woman in a condescending fashion (e.g., “Akam mansplains that mansplain is not a functioning pun.”) but is still not a functioning pun. Manscaping, the removal of all or part of male body hair, is better—there is at least assonance between the vowel sounds in man and land—but as a pun it remains perilously borderline.

Much more, and I agree with most of it, at the Slate story linked through the headline.
 
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

Thank you, George Takei.
 
This evening when out for dinner, husband's meal was served on paper and he accidentally ate a corner of it. Son now insists on calling him Russell....
 
Oh man LallyH, I have been rustling with getting ^this^ one and it has had me tremendously stumped for so long, just how long will you leaf us hanging?!?
 
My dad passed recently...he had a good heart, but lacked in social graces.

so in his honor, I leave this pun, fo' pa.
 
It's pasta bowl omelette my hunger buffet my moos. I have had some gravy moos latte-ly, new dough?
 
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