Annie's Room

[SweetAnnie40]

(WARNING) Okay, I'm going to let some thinking out here. If you aren't looking for a potential buzz-kill, you probably want to skip this post. (YOU'VE BEEN WARNED)



I've thought many times about the likelihood that the vast majority of people here on Lit Forums are sexual addicts. I'm sure I'm one. My husband is one. I don't have any friends who think about and act on sexual desires a fraction of what I do.

In a way, I think most people understand that the Internet is an amplifier for... let's just call it minority-normal behaviors. We connect with other 'enthusiasts' who validate what we feel or desire so we feel normal, which feels good psychologically but it probably intensifies addictive behavior (removing social stigmas). If I didn't believe that "no-harm" sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, I'd have some serious problems with my lifestyle, this place, etc. But if it doesn't involve a minor (who doesn't possess the full capacity of consent), true non-consensual activity, harming others, hurting yourself, or ruining your life, be my guest. Just play safe.

Sorry, way too serious for what you're expecting I'm sure. Just the mood I'm in.

 

[Iris_66]

Firstly, it’s your thread, so no need to apologise for taking it wherever you may

Sexual addiction is an interesting one, I kind of agree with you, I must be one.

I think about sex in whatever form a lot. In comparison to alcohol, I must be a functioning addict - I am able to hold down a good job and have a nice family life.

In cigarette terms, my sex addiction probably won’t kill me

In drug terms, it shouldn’t impair my capacity to work, support my family, endanger my co workers etc

You rightly say that forums like this can serve as self justifying arenas which allow behaviour to normalise and amplify

But, the key for me is where the boundaries lie and the benefits (possibly psychological) for the users

I agree red lines for me are minors, true non consent, physical and mental harm to self or others and illegality. I don’t countenance aggression to others, or a real need to ‘yuck someone else’s yum’

History is peppered with examples of people who have suffered harm and persecution for beliefs which seem relatively mundane in today’s world - Oscar Wilde for one. Also many people have struggled themselves to cope with their own acceptance of their sexual triggers, often with devastating consequences- how many suicides have there been, or to a lesser degree ‘if only I had made these choices when I was younger’ comments do we see?

I sense you are struggling with your own situation at the moment and having a ‘how did I get here?, is this what I want?’ check. It may be that you feel your husbands sissyfication is leading him away from your marriage, or aspects of it, and you miss that and fear it may lead him out of the marriage.

It may be that you are bisexual, but had hoped that your husband would fulfil the male part of the jigsaw, which is not now the case, and miss the intimacy and him in that part of your life.

You seem comfortable with where you are with your femme side and your submission to your Mistress, but you are in control of how ‘deep’ you dive into that

I guess I am saying who knows where life takes us, but for me there are a few individuals on lit who seem about more than just ‘getting off to their kinks’. (Nothing wrong with that, by the way, for those who do). If you need to question yourself, blow off steam, vent frustration, or ask for help, know that there are people here who are willing to listen, care even though they don’t really know you in a 20C way, and throw in their two cents in the hope it helps

(WARNING) Okay, I'm going to let some thinking out here. If you aren't looking for a potential buzz-kill, you probably want to skip this post. (YOU'VE BEEN WARNED)



I've thought many times about the likelihood that the vast majority of people here on Lit Forums are sexual addicts. I'm sure I'm one. My husband is one. I don't have any friends who think about and act on sexual desires a fraction of what I do.

In a way, I think most people understand that the Internet is an amplifier for... let's just call it minority-normal behaviors. We connect with other 'enthusiasts' who validate what we feel or desire so we feel normal, which feels good psychologically but it probably intensifies addictive behavior (removing social stigmas). If I didn't believe that "no-harm" sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, I'd have some serious problems with my lifestyle, this place, etc. But if it doesn't involve a minor (who doesn't possess the full capacity of consent), true non-consensual activity, harming others, hurting yourself, or ruining your life, be my guest. Just play safe.

Sorry, way too serious for what you're expecting I'm sure. Just the mood I'm in.

 

[Sissy_Trish]

Now I understand why women lock their sissy's in Chasity for long periods of time..

Been pretty horny this weekend but booked up with all sort of 'real life' things. Sunday evening was finally free. I've been wanting to suck hubby's cock for weeks so I asked Hubby upstairs, peeled him down to his panties and began to caress him through the satin. He got hard (he isn't big). When I slipped his cock free of his panties and into my mouth, he lost his erection (eventually). He was sorry but asked me to fuck him which is what we tend to do these days. I was very disappointed but did as he asked. He had no trouble creaming his panties with me pumping a big fat cock-dildo in him.

Sorry, too much pre-amble just to say I really wish I could suck a cock right now. I miss being able to give that experience to him but I miss the pleasure of doing it, the feeling of that explosion of cum and knowing that they just lost control for a little bit.

 

[SweetAnnie40]

Firstly, it’s your thread, so no need to apologise for taking it wherever you may

Thanks, Iris, for taking the time and such thoughtful comments. Agree that there are behaviors that are stigmatized for no reason and this can be a haven for those people. Also, our sexual triggers are not something we choose when we reach puberty from a menu.

I am missing hubby as my male lover and fulfilling that side of my bisexual desires...

 

[SweetAnnie40]

Now I understand why women lock their sissy's in Chasity for long periods of time..

Oh I've considered it but never want to do for actual punitive reasons.

 

[Iris_66]

You are welcome

I get it, I sometimes miss regular sex with my wife, as fun as our more kinky sex is

I also worry if I will loose her, either sexually, or completely as she progressively embraces her lesbianism. Unlike you she doesn't seem to crave any 'male' contact

So it's not just you who has wobbles, especially if your Mistress is on the road and out of reach, it's easy to feel all alone

Good to see you popping up elsewhere on lit and getting a bit of your mojo back

Thanks, Iris, for taking the time and such thoughtful comments. Agree that there are behaviors that are stigmatized for no reason and this can be a haven for those people. Also, our sexual triggers are not something we choose when we reach puberty from a menu.

I am missing hubby as my male lover and fulfilling that side of my bisexual desires...

 

[LizVegas79]

Firstly, it’s your thread, so no need to apologise for taking it wherever you may

Sexual addiction is an interesting one, I kind of agree with you, I must be one.

I think about sex in whatever form a lot. In comparison to alcohol, I must be a functioning addict - I am able to hold down a good job and have a nice family life.

In cigarette terms, my sex addiction probably won’t kill me

In drug terms, it shouldn’t impair my capacity to work, support my family, endanger my co workers etc

You rightly say that forums like this can serve as self justifying arenas which allow behaviour to normalise and amplify

But, the key for me is where the boundaries lie and the benefits (possibly psychological) for the users

I agree red lines for me are minors, true non consent, physical and mental harm to self or others and illegality. I don’t countenance aggression to others, or a real need to ‘yuck someone else’s yum’

History is peppered with examples of people who have suffered harm and persecution for beliefs which seem relatively mundane in today’s world - Oscar Wilde for one. Also many people have struggled themselves to cope with their own acceptance of their sexual triggers, often with devastating consequences- how many suicides have there been, or to a lesser degree ‘if only I had made these choices when I was younger’ comments do we see?

I sense you are struggling with your own situation at the moment and having a ‘how did I get here?, is this what I want?’ check. It may be that you feel your husbands sissyfication is leading him away from your marriage, or aspects of it, and you miss that and fear it may lead him out of the marriage.

It may be that you are bisexual, but had hoped that your husband would fulfil the male part of the jigsaw, which is not now the case, and miss the intimacy and him in that part of your life.

You seem comfortable with where you are with your femme side and your submission to your Mistress, but you are in control of how ‘deep’ you dive into that

I guess I am saying who knows where life takes us, but for me there are a few individuals on lit who seem about more than just ‘getting off to their kinks’. (Nothing wrong with that, by the way, for those who do). If you need to question yourself, blow off steam, vent frustration, or ask for help, know that there are people here who are willing to listen, care even though they don’t really know you in a 20C way, and throw in their two cents in the hope it helps

I love reading this thread

 

[dacoach44]

Thats fine, Annie

(WARNING) Okay, I'm going to let some thinking out here. If you aren't looking for a potential buzz-kill, you probably want to skip this post. (YOU'VE BEEN WARNED)



I've thought many times about the likelihood that the vast majority of people here on Lit Forums are sexual addicts. I'm sure I'm one. My husband is one. I don't have any friends who think about and act on sexual desires a fraction of what I do.

In a way, I think most people understand that the Internet is an amplifier for... let's just call it minority-normal behaviors. We connect with other 'enthusiasts' who validate what we feel or desire so we feel normal, which feels good psychologically but it probably intensifies addictive behavior (removing social stigmas). If I didn't believe that "no-harm" sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, I'd have some serious problems with my lifestyle, this place, etc. But if it doesn't involve a minor (who doesn't possess the full capacity of consent), true non-consensual activity, harming others, hurting yourself, or ruining your life, be my guest. Just play safe.

Sorry, way too serious for what you're expecting I'm sure. Just the mood I'm in.

I dunno about being a sex addict, but I refuse to let any one thing drive my life, save my love for my kids. I am kind of a poly, date whom I want, sleep with whom I want, etc. But I also have a few organizations, kids and grandkids, a decent X, my papers and books, my bicycle, and my everlasting yard. If you and hubs truly love one another and want it to work, sex cant stop a persistent, sincere and loving relationship.

 

[Sissy_Trish]

I dunno about being a sex addict, but I refuse to let any one thing drive my life, save my love for my kids. I am kind of a poly, date whom I want, sleep with whom I want, etc. But I also have a few organizations, kids and grandkids, a decent X, my papers and books, my bicycle, and my everlasting yard. If you and hubs truly love one another and want it to work, sex cant stop a persistent, sincere and loving relationship.

Good annalist of looking at a problem, and at the same time being thankful for what you have.

 

[LucyCanyon]

Thanks, Iris, for taking the time and such thoughtful comments. Agree that there are behaviors that are stigmatized for no reason and this can be a haven for those people. Also, our sexual triggers are not something we choose when we reach puberty from a menu.

I am missing hubby as my male lover and fulfilling that side of my bisexual desires...

I am loving this thread, and what it shows about the people on Lit, the variety of reasons why we are all here. The range of needs and desires Lit satisfies is vast, and opening up, sharing - however internet anonymous we make our profiles and personas - is still a scary experience and the comments from all on here are fantastic.

The gap left behind after the move towards more varied and kinky sex was probably not something you would have foreseen, but I can see how that might play out... as you try more, stretch more boundaries its easy to get less of a thrill from the 'vanilla' end. Those who walk the high mountains, the ridges, the snowline will find the simple stroll across the fields nothing like the pleasure that I do as I have never had the adrenalin rush of the extreme...

Oh I've considered it but never want to do for actual punitive reasons.

I have chatted to many a transvestite or cross-dresser who have voluntarily worn a cock-cage, as they have said it helps them make the transformation more complete, not being able to get an erection is, for many it seems, part of the change they seek to make. I have never worn one, nor wanted to as my enjoyment of all things femme to wear is purely that... an enjoyment of clothing, heels and lingerie that I am not supposed to enjoy!

Please keep posting Annie, Iris, Liz, Coach and all those who extend the mind by opening up and challenging things in a supportive and positive way

Lx

 

[SweetAnnie40]

The gap left behind after the move towards more varied and kinky sex was probably not something you would have foreseen, but I can see how that might play out... as you try more, stretch more boundaries its easy to get less of a thrill from the 'vanilla' end. Those who walk the high mountains, the ridges, the snowline will find the simple stroll across the fields nothing like the pleasure that I do as I have never had the adrenalin rush of the extreme...

Well, it isn't a matter of Vanilla being boring. Vanilla doesn't seem possible for him, or desired, not that it is boring but that it is counter to what he's trying to achieve (his feminization). So for me it isn't a matter of choice to get the biggest thrill, I don't even have that option with my husband. That's the part that hurts.

That said, I think we would all admit that sexual behaviors are most thrilling the first time or first few times but yes, you get sort of used to them. Again, back to my addiction comment, it takes more and more or a new drug to get the same high. I'm definitely feeling something like that with my mistress. When we are 'together', I end up doing real-life things that are getting more and more daring, even crazy when looked at in the light of day. But it is such an intense pleasure with her that I don't care if it is addiction. That's my own secret that I'm sure hubby wouldn't be happy to discover.

 

[stargame]

Yes you are daring and to me so very beautifully sexy.

 

[LucyCanyon]

Well, it isn't a matter of Vanilla being boring. Vanilla doesn't seem possible for him, or desired, not that it is boring but that it is counter to what he's trying to achieve (his feminization). So for me it isn't a matter of choice to get the biggest thrill, I don't even have that option with my husband. That's the part that hurts.

That said, I think we would all admit that sexual behaviors are most thrilling the first time or first few times but yes, you get sort of used to them. Again, back to my addiction comment, it takes more and more or a new drug to get the same high. I'm definitely feeling something like that with my mistress. When we are 'together', I end up doing real-life things that are getting more and more daring, even crazy when looked at in the light of day. But it is such an intense pleasure with her that I don't care if it is addiction. That's my own secret that I'm sure hubby wouldn't be happy to discover.

I don't think I was saying vanilla is boring per se, but the description of your ongoing push that is taking you into more risky and more daring areas is confirming that it takes more to really get the endorphins flowing. I am sorry that what gets his now flowing is more into feminisation and it is sad the impact this has had for you. I confess to being at a loss as to how you might rekindle such desire and opportunity, or even if it's possible? I recall a poster here suggesting you enlist the help of a stud that can give you what you need and involve hubby in that - whether as an observer or participant I don't know - but would that fill the void (rather than just fill you so to speak!) ?

I agree that the thrills take more to achieve. The first time I slid on some nylons I was instantly aroused... now it's daily wear and lovely to feel but not anything like as sexual... :-(

 

[Iris_66]

Hi Annie

Been thinking about this post and your predicament off and on all day

It's becoming quite personal for you, and you are so brave for opening up in this way

Would you prefer for me to PM you, or would you prefer to keep it in the forum?

Well, it isn't a matter of Vanilla being boring. Vanilla doesn't seem possible for him, or desired, not that it is boring but that it is counter to what he's trying to achieve (his feminization). So for me it isn't a matter of choice to get the biggest thrill, I don't even have that option with my husband. That's the part that hurts.

That said, I think we would all admit that sexual behaviors are most thrilling the first time or first few times but yes, you get sort of used to them. Again, back to my addiction comment, it takes more and more or a new drug to get the same high. I'm definitely feeling something like that with my mistress. When we are 'together', I end up doing real-life things that are getting more and more daring, even crazy when looked at in the light of day. But it is such an intense pleasure with her that I don't care if it is addiction. That's my own secret that I'm sure hubby wouldn't be happy to discover.

 

[SweetAnnie40]

I don't think I was saying vanilla is boring per se, but the description of your ongoing push that is taking you into more risky and more daring areas is confirming that it takes more to really get the endorphins flowing. I am sorry that what gets his now flowing is more into feminisation and it is sad the impact this has had for you. I confess to being at a loss as to how you might rekindle such desire and opportunity, or even if it's possible? I recall a poster here suggesting you enlist the help of a stud that can give you what you need and involve hubby in that - whether as an observer or participant I don't know - but would that fill the void (rather than just fill you so to speak!) ?

I agree that the thrills take more to achieve. The first time I slid on some nylons I was instantly aroused... now it's daily wear and lovely to feel but not anything like as sexual... :-(

We also need to check the supplements he's been taking to feminize his body. That could be messing with his hormone balances and interfering with his arousal to certain things, maybe?

 

[SweetAnnie40]

Hi Annie

Been thinking about this post and your predicament off and on all day

It's becoming quite personal for you, and you are so brave for opening up in this way

Would you prefer for me to PM you, or would you prefer to keep it in the forum?

Well, I'm letting it all hang out here, so here is fine. I'm not able to get on regularly, predictably so apologies if it takes some days for me to respond. Appreciate your thoughts.

 

[Iris_66]

From what you seem to be saying, I think you are missing your husband? Is he still there in everyday life? Or is his feminisation meaning she is there in everyday life and he has gone?

The other issue seems sexual - you seem (from your posts) to love sucking cock and making cock come. He seems to be unable to maintain an erection when you suck him, but has no problem when you peg him. This means you aren’t getting your ‘candy’ on you FM side. Your FF side is everything you want and more, but a bi girl needs both sides tended

While a stud can provide a penis, I sense the turn on is from the giving, and so is closely tied to the emotional attachment to the recipient. You love sex with your husband, sex with anyone else you aren’t emotionally bonded too doesn’t give you the same

It seems unfair, most folks are unable to satisfy their FF side, due to social stigmatisation fears etc, and are stuck fantasising about this, whilst having their FM needs filled (however unimaginatively). You are having a wild time with your Mistress, completely sating your FF needs, but can’t get your FM oats!

Have you talked about how the progressive feminisation will/is affect(ing) your relationship on a fundamental and sexual level?

Is there any room for compromise, say a dildo working his ass with a mouth working his cock?

Hope I haven’t rambled too much, or crossed any red lines, not trying to be crude, but hoping it helps to be able to talk about these things

Well, I'm letting it all hang out here, so here is fine. I'm not able to get on regularly, predictably so apologies if it takes some days for me to respond. Appreciate your thoughts.

 

[LucyCanyon]

We also need to check the supplements he's been taking to feminize his body. That could be messing with his hormone balances and interfering with his arousal to certain things, maybe?

That is certainly a possibility, the different female hormones or the new balance within him will not only affect his body but his whole way of being. I know little of this in reality, but I do see the monthly mood changes that come with a boost of some female hormones and what that does to arousal or interest... it could be he is experiencing this...

Iris makes some sound and thoughtful points too, and without wanting to be crude her last suggestion about having his pussy filled whilst you suck on his clit might be a result?

Am I, as ever it is humbling that you share here what must be hard for you in life at home and I hope things work out! XxxX

 

[SweetAnnie40]

Thanks gurls and ladies. I appreciate the concern and support.

Hubby and I are in marriage counseling now. The counselor has been able to put words to things we've both been feeling for months. By hyper-sexualizing our relationship, we let important love relationship work get missed and we felt we were growing apart. Hubby has really gone on a journey, not an experiment he's just going to walk away from so it is complicated. I'm also not willing to go back and pretend I'm just heterosexual.

We did an exercise where we did nothing sexual (or as close as possible) for a week and then got naked together following some specific steps. Connecting, touching, looking. Nothing about fetishes, just being there for each other, feeling the intimacy of naked skin and touch. We both came! It wasn't rip-roaring intercourse but emotionally it felt wonderful. A drink of water after so long in the desert.

It was healthy for us. I feel like there is some balance being regained, even if it is just a little bit. A lot of what we've been exploring and dealing with is still there. My desire to find a woman to be sexual with has not diminished. His need to feminize himself is still there.

What does this mean?

Well I won't be visiting Lit Forums quite as often. Anyone watching will have seen me on less recently. I do plan to visit, check out my threads and have fun from time to time (you know who you are). I dearly hope I can continue with my Mistress friend .

Here's to having a better balance in life while not giving up the fun stuff.

 

[stargame]

Thanks gurls and ladies. I appreciate the concern and support.

Hubby and I are in marriage counseling now. The counselor has been able to put words to things we've both been feeling for months. By hyper-sexualizing our relationship, we let important love relationship work get missed and we felt we were growing apart. Hubby has really gone on a journey, not an experiment he's just going to walk away from so it is complicated. I'm also not willing to go back and pretend I'm just heterosexual.

We did an exercise where we did nothing sexual (or as close as possible) for a week and then got naked together following some specific steps. Connecting, touching, looking. Nothing about fetishes, just being there for each other, feeling the intimacy of naked skin and touch. We both came! It wasn't rip-roaring intercourse but emotionally it felt wonderful. A drink of water after so long in the desert.

It was healthy for us. I feel like there is some balance being regained, even if it is just a little bit. A lot of what we've been exploring and dealing with is still there. My desire to find a woman to be sexual with has not diminished. His need to feminize himself is still there.

What does this mean?

Well I won't be visiting Lit Forums quite as often. Anyone watching will have seen me on less recently. I do plan to visit, check out my threads and have fun from time to time (you know who you are). I dearly hope I can continue with my Mistress friend .

Here's to having a better balance in life while not giving up the fun stuff.

...you are so beautiful

 

[BiiCuz]

Thanks gurls and ladies. I appreciate the concern and support.

Hubby and I are in marriage counseling now. The counselor has been able to put words to things we've both been feeling for months. By hyper-sexualizing our relationship, we let important love relationship work get missed and we felt we were growing apart. Hubby has really gone on a journey, not an experiment he's just going to walk away from so it is complicated. I'm also not willing to go back and pretend I'm just heterosexual.

We did an exercise where we did nothing sexual (or as close as possible) for a week and then got naked together following some specific steps. Connecting, touching, looking. Nothing about fetishes, just being there for each other, feeling the intimacy of naked skin and touch. We both came! It wasn't rip-roaring intercourse but emotionally it felt wonderful. A drink of water after so long in the desert.

It was healthy for us. I feel like there is some balance being regained, even if it is just a little bit. A lot of what we've been exploring and dealing with is still there. My desire to find a woman to be sexual with has not diminished. His need to feminize himself is still there.

What does this mean?

Well I won't be visiting Lit Forums quite as often. Anyone watching will have seen me on less recently. I do plan to visit, check out my threads and have fun from time to time (you know who you are). I dearly hope I can continue with my Mistress friend .

Here's to having a better balance in life while not giving up the fun stuff.

go with what works and is healthy for the both of you...

 

[Iris_66]

Great that you have a new way to work through it all

I hope it allows you both to get to a place where you can both have fun together, fun apart, a sense of togetherness and 'balance'

We are always here for you. If you feel like posting updates, I would love to hear how it progresses

Well, it isn't a matter of Vanilla being boring. Vanilla doesn't seem possible for him, or desired, not that it is boring but that it is counter to what he's trying to achieve (his feminization). So for me it isn't a matter of choice to get the biggest thrill, I don't even have that option with my husband. That's the part that hurts.

That said, I think we would all admit that sexual behaviors are most thrilling the first time or first few times but yes, you get sort of used to them. Again, back to my addiction comment, it takes more and more or a new drug to get the same high. I'm definitely feeling something like that with my mistress. When we are 'together', I end up doing real-life things that are getting more and more daring, even crazy when looked at in the light of day. But it is such an intense pleasure with her that I don't care if it is addiction. That's my own secret that I'm sure hubby wouldn't be happy to discover.

Thanks gurls and ladies. I appreciate the concern and support.

Hubby and I are in marriage counseling now. The counselor has been able to put words to things we've both been feeling for months. By hyper-sexualizing our relationship, we let important love relationship work get missed and we felt we were growing apart. Hubby has really gone on a journey, not an experiment he's just going to walk away from so it is complicated. I'm also not willing to go back and pretend I'm just heterosexual.

We did an exercise where we did nothing sexual (or as close as possible) for a week and then got naked together following some specific steps. Connecting, touching, looking. Nothing about fetishes, just being there for each other, feeling the intimacy of naked skin and touch. We both came! It wasn't rip-roaring intercourse but emotionally it felt wonderful. A drink of water after so long in the desert.

It was healthy for us. I feel like there is some balance being regained, even if it is just a little bit. A lot of what we've been exploring and dealing with is still there. My desire to find a woman to be sexual with has not diminished. His need to feminize himself is still there.

What does this mean?

Well I won't be visiting Lit Forums quite as often. Anyone watching will have seen me on less recently. I do plan to visit, check out my threads and have fun from time to time (you know who you are). I dearly hope I can continue with my Mistress friend .

Here's to having a better balance in life while not giving up the fun stuff.

 

[SweetAnnie40]

...you are so beautiful

Thanks, honey.

 

[SweetAnnie40]

go with what works and is healthy for the both of you...

Thank you, dear.

(Cute avatar... ever put your little thing in chastity in your panties? )

 

[stargame]

Thanks, honey.

I am bare today
I took my morning shower, where of course I fingered my pussy and I have yet to put on clothes. I feel so feminine and bratty

How are you my Dear.... I love you