Anniversary exercise

[wildsweetone]

dr m. that was very well written. i was there watching you. very realistic.

TheEarl, your second story is well written too.

i doubt i can do humour for death. hmm

 

[openthighs_sarah]

But... I didn't have the mousse.

WSO - I liked yours very much.

I've always thought of myself as immortal, but here's my attempt anyway:


---

"This is it," she said, without raising her voice.

They had come to a rather beautiful spot deep in the woods. Though it was autumn here, the trees were still alive, and filled with marmots.

"I like the sound of the brook," she explained, guiding him to a monstrously large and gnarled tree that seemed to have erupted from the earth like a serpent, though it rose up to the heavens like a fallen angel trying in vain to climb back to heaven. As they sat down with their backs against the warmth of the tree, she said, "Do you say a 'babbling brook', or a 'bubbling brook'?"

"Neither," he answered, slipping his arm around her. "I call it a 'creek.'"

"You're arguing semantics when we're about to die?" she demanded. "Besides, I didn't mean 'you' in the singular, individual sense, but in the collective sense."

"So now, at the end of your life, you've become sympathetic to collectivism?"

"I suppose it doesn't matter," she said, sighing. "At least we finally got to see real marmots, right?"

For a few minutes they sat in relative silence, listening intently to the babbling creek and the placidly shrieking marmots. Finally he broke the silence. "We should be naked."

She raised an eyebrow. "We're supposed to be serene as we drift off, you know. Focused."

"What could be more serene, more sublime, than for us to drift away together after experiencing something beautiful?"

She stared at him for a long moment. "I cannot believe you want me to give you a blowjob now."

"Did I say a blowjob?"


(approx. 7,000 words omitted)


The sun was already below the horizon by the time they settled back against the trunk of the tree, naked and sweaty and quiet. The growing darkness wrapped itself around them like a cloak, as if to protect them from the twilight's cooler air. Orange and red streaks illuminated the night sky like echoes from the dying sun.

She rested her head against his chest, and closed her eyes. He looked at her for a few more seconds, unsmiling; and then he closed his eyes as well.

"Don't let go," she said, and her voice was barely a whisper now. "Don't forget..."

He held her against him, and answered: "Never, my love."

---

 

[wildsweetone]

i'm not sure whether i'm meant to be laughing or crying... the urge is so strong to do both.

thanks for your comment on my piece sarah. as to yours, i love it!

including the opportune 'blow job' word cut 7,000 words? grief! that sure sounds like it could be interesting

 

[oggbashan]

I'd like to see Sarah's wonderful story written from the marmots' point of view - please.

Og

 

[openthighs_sarah]

I'd like to see Sarah's wonderful story written from the marmots' point of view - please.

Og

Okay. But you'll have to be fluent in Marmot (or perhaps 'Mamet') to read it.

Thanks, WSO -- I was going for the awkward, sobbing laughter mixed with genuine confusion response...

 

[oggbashan]

Okay. But you'll have to be fluent in Marmot (or perhaps 'Mamet') to read it.

I am, I am.

My yodelling and alpenhorn notes are heard across the English Channel (in marmot terms I am bi because no one can sex a marmot, not even another marmot).

Og.

 

[wildsweetone]

darn, it must be Spring in the northern hemisphere...

do you guys realise you are all nutso?



marmots. i have never in my life heard of a thing called a marmot. now if you'd have said 'marmite', i would have known what that was... it's a disgusting spread for sandwhiches, probably tastes similar to onion pie actually come to think of it.


god i'm so mixed up with all these threads and rodents and things.

btw - you're welcome sarah.... i think.


edited cos i'm trying to do five things at once.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

god i'm so mixed up with all these threads and rodents and things.

Marmots will fuck with your mind, I swear to god. And I was going to say "marmite" originally, but that stuff is worse than a barrel of dead marmots.

 

[wildsweetone]

i knew there was a reason i was thicker than usual yesterday...

marmite though full of iron, should only be used to reseal roads.

 

[oggbashan]

darn, it must be Spring in the northern hemisphere...

do you guys realise you are all nutso?


You noticed?

marmots. i have never in my life heard of a thing called a marmot.

My dictionary says "Burrowing hibernating rodent of genus Actomys, of squirrel family {Fr. marmotte prob. ult. f Latin murem montis mountain mouse}

Not only do marmots burrow if they are squirrels they climb trees and probably fly. You can't get away from the marmots.

now if you'd have said 'marmite', i would have known what that was... it's a disgusting spread for sandwhiches, probably tastes similar to onion pie actually come to think of it.

But if you are from the Great South Land of Terra Australis you would have Vegemite. Lovely stuff smeared on the barbecued prawns.

 

[jfinn]

With Apologies to Miss Parker

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker



Recently I've found a new hobby. I sit in an isolated corner of a Wal-Mart parking lot (any Wal-Mart, I'm not picky and they're all alike anyway) eating fast food, smoking too much and contemplating how to commit suicide. It isn't, I've decided as easy to do as it sounds.

I'm afraid of guns, razors are messy and pills not fast enough. I hate heights, so tall buildings are out and drowning is just... Wrong.

I've always thought a car accident would be good. I've had enough of them to know it's quick and you really don't have much time to be scared. The only problem with that though is my damn car has airbags and with my luck they'd work just great.

Where is Dr Kevorkian when you need him?

Today I bought a manual. Twenty-nine, ninety-five and it isn't tax deductable. I sit in my car eating my Big Mac and read what the Hemlock Society thinks is a good way to discover the last frontier. But I don't know, nothing seems to grab me. Maybe they just need better writers.

The hell with it. Death is beginning to sound more boring than life. I mean, what if I get there and hate it?

I break up the styrofoam box and stick it back in the bag. Then I toss the whole thing into the back of the car with the rest of trash. I tell myself I'm being wise to reconsider, but deep inside I wonder if the truth is I'm just too lazy to kill myself.

There's a tap at the window. It's a kid, maybe nineteen, maybe not. He looks scared and I roll my window down to see if I can help. It isn't until it's halfway down that I see the gun. It's pointed right at my face.

I look up at the kid's face again and realize I've made a mistake. Not scared, crazy. He smiles at me and winks.

My hand tightens on the book I still hold. If I'd known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have wasted the money. Things never seem to go the way you...

Jayne

 

[TheEarl]

You either love it or you hate it

Oh, that's superb. I like that.

Unlike Marmite, which is the feces of Satan. To put it mildly.

The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

jayne, well, that one sure got me going. i'd forgotten the aim of the thread with all the marmots and things. i got such a fright!

excellent piece.

 

[jfinn]

Thanks!

Jayne