Anyone from the UK?

The last time someone offered me a tour of a lighthouse, there wasn’t a lighthouse and it wasn’t much a tour.

Greetings to the newcomers.
Thanks you, and I feel I should point out the experiences described had nothing to do with me. I feel I’m being painted as some sort of lighthouse person, or some sort of lighthouse charlatan - I’m not either.
 
Don’t tell them your name, Pike!

Do what most of us do around here, make it up as we go along. As a great man once said: “What is gas?”
 
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