Anyone want their wife or GF to do this?

[MiloDRemix]

It's really amusing to hear you talk about the decaying moral fabric of our society on the bulletin board of an erotic story site.

Why is that amusing? I could name thousands of ways to be erotic without being immoral or butchering wedding vows. It just seems to me like there are an endless number of ways to have exciting sex inside of your marriage, why bring in third parties at all? The union between 2 people, I always thought, was special.

"I would also appreciate it if you didn't apply your rules to my relationship." They're not rules, just opinions. And they obviously don't apply to your relationship, which is fine. I'm not trying to dictate to you how to live your life, just pondering my own thoughts on this matter.

"So my husband and I aren't really a couple. Who would have thunk it? Well, I have a piece of paper that proves otherwise."
And my nephew has a piece of paper saying that he's a card carrying storm trooper. He got it out of a box of cereal.

 

[Mike260]

Eilan, people just get so freakin' mad about this!

I'll say it again. I think you're wonderful. After four kids and who knows how many dirty diapers and mac 'n cheese dinners I figure you count as a real mom and wife. (If that's not a reflection of commitment, nothing is!)

Both you and your husband are lucky.

 

[Lust Engine]

MiloD & Eilan...obviously you two disagree- which is fine.

So you can both agree to disagree. To each their own here.

But not meaning to defend Eilan here or anything but once MiloD starts calling one person's behavior "immoral" seems a little harsh. At that point I believe it leaves the opinion realm and becomes a tad bit more personal. Now if you were to call the act itself immoral, that's fine- that's your opinion to which I think you're trying to get at.

 

[sawman]

i know this is not the answer to the question posed at the start of the thread but it struck a chord with me.
i replied to jasperscribbler on the how to board about swinging.
my first wife and me got into wife swapping (not threesomes) and it broke up our marriage...she left me for one of the guys!!.......so think carefully first

 

[SkyyAngel]

But not meaning to defend Eilan here or anything but once MiloD starts calling one person's behavior "immoral" seems a little harsh. At that point I believe it leaves the opinion realm and becomes a tad bit more personal. Now if you were to call the act itself immoral, that's fine- that's your opinion to which I think you're trying to get at.

Which would've been fine... IF he HAD called it immoral.

 

[Mike260]

Sawman:

Thank you for sharing your experience. What a tough lesson. And one that I hope I don't walk headlong into. Point taken.

 

[Lust Engine]

Which would've been fine... IF he HAD called it immoral.

I thought he did! See the very top of this page & the post? Maybe not directly, but by saying "I could name thousands of ways to be erotic without being immoral or butchering wedding vows." implies the person doing this act is somehow immoral, don't you think?

 

[verymello]

i have free time

i am in new york city.....with some free time......i am a handsome mature man.....in shape.......get in touch with me......nycblueyedman@hotmail.com

 

[Mischka]

A while back, my wife totally fell for another guy-- really turned on by him. We discussed it. It amped up our sex like crazy. And then the passing fancy passed. We went back to getting off on other things.

It sounds like the fantasy is doing a good job charging your sex life. Do you think acting out the fantasy would have a greater impact? What do you think you two would gain from the act that you haven't gained from the fantasy?

You've already given your wife permission to pursue these fantasy men, but so far she's been content to only discuss these fantasies with you. It can be very hard, especially for women, to sleep with someone and not develop feelings for them. Perhaps by revealing her interest in other men to you, she can keep an emotional distance from these men that she would not be able to exercise if she actually did sleep with them.

I'd say you have a pretty good thing going already. You are open enough to recognize that there are other attractive people out there, but you're not going so far as to jeopardize your relationship.

 

[Mike260]

Mischka. Are you my wife? How did you find me here?

The risk of developing feelings for someone she slept with is exactly the reason my wife has given for not following through. I'd love it if you could explain that to me. As a guy, I never equated sleeping with someone with necessarily developing feelings for them. Staying up all night until we shared a bleary-eyed cheap-wine toast to the rising sun, now that's intimate. That develops feelings.

When I was single, there were many women I grew to really like when we fucked. Some were fun, some were creative...some were fun and creative. Whatever. Great fucking seemed to make for great friendships. But it was the other stuff that invited intimacy.

For you, and my wife, it's apparently different. Why?

And, "what do I think I'd get by bringing it to the next level?" Well, an incredible orgasm. No. Many, many incredible orgasms. I've had a lot in my 44 years. And this is one I really want to add. I know it sounds shallow, but I don't intend it that way. This desire carries with it something psychoerotically very profound for me. I want to experience it.

On the other hand, as you point out, I still haven't pushed it to the next step (and I almost surely could have if I had really wanted to). I think that's because I have been loath to push my wife into something so intense that she doesn't want to do. But maybe I also share some of her trepidation. I don't think so, but who knows?

Anyway, thank you for your wonderfully insightful post.