Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

[Dirty Slut]

I pet, diddle, frig, but I have yet to jerk...

If I could I'd even lick the damn thing myself, but I'm not double jointed, or limber enough for doing that, though I have tried. Maybe in a couple of days I'll try again, and see if my lover can help. The hard part is getting past my boobs. They keep getting in the way. Oh well, there's always his tongue, and his penis if it doesn't work out.

DS

PS: Just think, if we could kiss our own ass we'd never fall in love with anyone else.

 

[Why]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

. People really aren't very interesting when they've been imbibing.

b

That depends

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

Nope, nuh uh, negative.

Just re-read it and laughed aloud in a totally sober state. In fact, I probably enjoy the nuances more now. People really aren't very interesting when they've been imbibing.

b

I'm glad it passed the sobriety test. Now, if we could just squeeze back into the clown car, my Thesaurus and I will be on our way.

 

[Guest]

I always feel there aren't enough phrases for female mastubation. I never 'Jerk'. Nominations for new descriptions, please, by the left, thank you.

Cahab: first, just want to say I've either enjoyed or appreciated all your recent posts.

BK uses 'frig' but that's a foreign word to me. I just say I'm going to fuck myself (when I announce it, that is; haha). Or sometimes, I'm going to 'do' me.

I wouldn't use jerk off either, it belongs to the dicks. I hate 'play with myself' too; as if we (women) are children. Or 'self love' and all that new-age crap. I use cunt vs. pussy, so I can't get into petting or stroking words.

Otherwise I haven't heard anything else. Let me know if you do.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Otherwise I haven't heard anything else. Let me know if you do.

Dear Perdita,
"Buzz the beaver?"
Helpfully,
MG

 

[Guest]

Dear Perdita, "Buzz the beaver?"

Not helpful; never understood why beaver was chosen for this auspicious designation. Buzz certainly doesn't cut it, Maths.

 

[BlackSnake]

...
"Buzz the beaver?"
Helpfully,
MG

Don't hate your man for not being able to give you what you've seen on my AV

Inside my mind, you got me trippin'
Inside my head, I see you strippin'
Tap it just right and I'll be tippin'
Your hips, your thighs, your lips, your eyes

 

[oggbashan]

Not helpful; never understood why beaver was chosen for this auspicious designation. Buzz certainly doesn't cut it, Maths.

Sort of rhyming slang "beaver" (tail). We Brits confused beavers and coons (like Davy Crockett's hat) so we thought beaver tails were furry.

Og

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

From the excrement of the Ferrousaurus, which is mainly iron.

Ahh Umm, well, now this is a very good answer SSBC, but umm I think it was maybe Ferrousasaurus's distant cousin Non-Ferrousasaurus that provided the droppings for this purpose.
Copper being a better conductor of electricity than iron.

I may be wrong of course, I'm no expert in these things.

 

[Guest]

close...

pops-

Wouldn't that be the Cupprousaurus?

b

 

[pop_54]

Re: close...

pops-

Wouldn't that be the Cupprousaurus?

b

No love, I don't think they were about for another 6000 yrs were they, I may be wrong, I'm no expert, sheep are my speciality.

pops.........

 

[cahab]

Otherwise I haven't heard anything else. Let me know if you do.

Perdita

There's a TV sketch show over here called 'Smack The Pony'. I don't know if this is what they meant by that, but I quite like it as the female equivalent of 'spanking the monkey'.

 

[TheEarl]

I always feel there aren't enough phrases for female mastubation. I never 'Jerk'. Nominations for new descriptions, please, by the left, thank you.

Some English ones are to jill-off and to finger yourself.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Ah, that's so you can differentiate between a lishp and a lithp. The real question to be asked was who was the first person to come up with the idea of milking a cow?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Some English ones are to jill-off and to finger yourself.

Ah, that's so you can differentiate between a lishp and a lithp. The real question to be asked was who was the first person to come up with the idea of milking a cow?

The first statement is sooooooooooo patriarchal. Jill? Give me a break. That old warhorse (and I do mean war) penis envy is cause for the 'fingering'. Perdita spits now.

Second statement/query: too easy. Tits are tits, or teats are teats; whatever.

I'd love to know how the first person figured out how to eat an artichoke. If it was a man I'd marry him.

Pear

 

[MathGirl]

Don't hate your man for not being able to give you what you've seen on my AV

Dear BS,
Just can't leave it alone, can you?
MG

 

[Guest]

MG: he's like that vapid gal on the old hair ads who said, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." As if.

Perd

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

Ahh Umm, well, now this is a very good answer SSBC, but umm I think it was maybe Ferrousasaurus's distant cousin Non-Ferrousasaurus that provided the droppings for this purpose.
Copper being a better conductor of electricity than iron.

I may be wrong of course, I'm no expert in these things.

Excellent point. All metals are good conductors of electricity—copper being one of the best. Silver is even better, but alas, both copper and silver were hard to come by for the poor Thesaurus, so he had to make do with the excrement of the Ferrousaurus. As I've said, it was mostly iron, but did contain trace amounts of copper and silver, thereby making it a fairly good conductor with which to dispatch a tricky Pterodactyl.

As you astutely pointed out, the Cupprousaurus didn't come into existence until well after the Thesaurus had become extinct and its reign of terror ended. Curiously enough, the Thesaurus's extinction came about because it was so clever at eliminating its fellow dinosaur that it did away with its own food source and starved to death. Such was the plight of the tragic Thesaurus who was too smart for his own good.

SSBC

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Don't hate your man for not being able to give you what you've seen on my AV

You mean, a girl with big boobs?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

No, seriously, BS, I love my Hubby, because he's even bigger than you are.

But don't worry - seeing as your wife is still just a little girl, I'm sure she's very happy being with someone a little smaller.

 

[Guest]

Svenskaflicka: Goddess of sarcasm

(among so many other kingdoms)

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

Excellent point. All metals are good conductors of electricity—copper being one of the best. Silver is even better, but alas, both copper and silver were hard to come by for the poor Thesaurus, so he had to make do with the excrement of the Ferrousaurus. As I've said, it was mostly iron, but did contain trace amounts of copper and silver, thereby making it a fairly good conductor with which to dispatch a tricky Pterodactyl.

As you astutely pointed out, the Cupprousaurus didn't come into existence until well after the Thesaurus had become extinct and its reign of terror ended. Curiously enough, the Thesaurus's extinction came about because it was so clever at eliminating its fellow dinosaur that it did away with its own food source and starved to death. Such was the plight of the tragic Thesaurus who was too smart for his own good.

SSBC

Yeppers just goes to prove the theory that ancient dinosuar type creatures were either too thick to survive and got eaten or electrocuted, or too damn clever and shit in their own nest as it were.
Never did believe that meteorite theory some people put about as the reason they became extinct.

pops..........

 

[Guest]

There's a TV sketch show over here called 'Smack The Pony'. I don't know if this is what they meant by that, but I quite like it as the female equivalent of 'spanking the monkey'.

Cahab: ouch is my response. I get it but I don't smack myself ever. There's a pirate on board Lit. who gave me the image of a clit in its hood like a girl in a boat. I like that, but have no seafaring vocabulary. Can someone make something of this, preferably no more than three words?

Moored presently (damnit),

Perdita

Edit: I spelled my own name wrong!

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Cahab: ouch is my response. I get it but I don't smack myself ever. There's a pirate on board Lit. who gave me the image of a clit in its hood like a girl in a boat. I like that, but have no seafaring vocabulary. Can someone make something of this, preferably no more than three words?

Moored presently (damnit),

Peridita

swabbing the deck?

 

[Guest]

swabbing the deck?

Sexy, you are way cool. I love that.

"Swab my deck, mate!" Can't wait to use it.

Purrrrdita

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Sexy, you are way cool. I love that.

"Swab my deck, mate!" Can't wait to use it.

Purrrrdita

LOL. Glad you liked it. I didn't think "scraping the hull" sounded too pleasant.