Bedding a Married woman

[JessieSexpot]

Has anyone had any sexual experiences with a married woman. I have this married woman that I met about a year ago...and It seems as though she enjoys flirting with me and has made comments to me aboout being a "very independent woman"!

What would be the best way to approach her about having a secret relationship together that woud involve tons of sex..I'm just alittle nervousabout breechig the subject with her and I'm curious to find out if she's hinting toward me with the comments she makes that she wants to get into my pants and shes waiting for me to make the first move or what?

If anyone has advice let me know

thanks
[/B]

This seems very selfish to me - your message is all about you, you getting what you want. You don't ask "How do I find out what kind of marriage she has, is it open, is she unhappy, etc." It is just how can you have sex with her. Nobody wants to feel used, you have to start thinking about other people.

 

[twinnmarcus]

married woman

i am sex having with a married woman and we love it
oh she is my wife
keep away hubby might come after you
i know i would

 

[AuntLuvr]

ok for all those who thinnk its all about me...how can I find out what kind of marriage she has? whether it's open, in ruins, just keeping it together for the kids...or what ever.....how could I find these things out..I mean obviously i could just come out and ask her...but she already told me she's an independent lady...so that tells me that she doesn't have to tell her husband everywhere she goes or what she's doing? At least that's the way I look at it

 

[eudaemonia]

Being an "independent lady" sounds suggestive but not definitive. Yet you seem sure that this means no strings attached, everything's A-ok. If it's really okay then what are you doing here asking for opinions. Go fuck her already.

Okay, that was meant to be blunt. I have to think that your posting here means you have some trepidation about proceeding. You're going to have to get her to be straight with you about what she wants and expects, and that will only happen by asking her straight up. And I hope you're clear about the fact that maybe she wants to bang you, too. But what if after a couple of hook ups she changes her mind? If you're only after a one- or two-shot experience you might both be able to pull it off, but once either of you wants and expects more ...

 

[jerseyman1963]

Being an "independent lady" sounds suggestive but not definitive. Yet you seem sure that this means no strings attached, everything's A-ok. If it's really okay then what are you doing here asking for opinions. Go fuck her already.

Okay, that was meant to be blunt. I have to think that your posting here means you have some trepidation about proceeding. You're going to have to get her to be straight with you about what she wants and expect, and that will only happen by asking her straight up. And I hope you're clear about the fact that maybe she wants to nail you, too. But what if after a couple of hook ups she changes her mind? If you're after a one- or two-shot experience you might both be able to pull it off, but once either one of you wants and expects more ...

Great post Eud. I love it when you use four letter words to emphasize your point - because you rarely do (curse, at least here) it's funny and direct at the same time. You hit the nail on the head... at some point or another he needs to decide what to do and go do it already. Make a move, or just walk up and politely ask her if she's interested. Getting advice is one thing, but it's a thin line between getting advice and endless disingenuous blather.

 

[njgirl0863]

Think about this...

If when you say secret relationship you mean no one in the outside world knows but her husband is ok with it then that could make a difference.
If by secret relationship you mean her husband doesn't know about it then it probably doesn't make a difference but that would depend on how their relationship is set up.

Well asking if it is okay to sleep with a married person is like the opposite of asking if a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it does it make a sound?

Common sense tells you yes (in the case of being okay to sleep with a married person it would be no), but there is always that small part of you mind that somehow believes you can justify it.

As RuReal stated about being experienced in dating a married person, I too am guilty as charged. It can be and usually ends up being excruciatingly pain staking.

You try to justify it being okay in your mind by saying you are single. Well your life isnt the only one involved. Also your and her life isnt the only one involved. She is married, whether it be a good or bad marriage she is still married. If she has kids then it is worse because she is taking time, energy and much more away from them.

You may be in it for purely sexual reasons, but most times emotional attachment occur. Then what? How many lives can and will be ruined?

Trust me, if she wants you and you want her; then let her end one relationship before she starts another.

If it isnt a relationship you are looking for still, find someone who is unattached and looking for casual sex too. It will save alot of heartache, frustration and stress on everyone involved.

Take it from another experienced person.

I hope this sinks in for you.

 

[jerseyman1963]

Nice job, NJ Girl. You just summarized it all quite neatly. It all sounds so perfectly logical and reasonable when you're speaking academically. Then there's real life, much of which we rarely have control over. Sometimes you can't help who you are attracted to... but you CAN help what you DO about it. This might contradict an earlier post of mine, but with so many other people in the world to choose from, why consciously go down a road that has such potentially devestating consequences? Make your life easier than that. You might wait longer for the next nookie, but it'll be a lot less emotionally dramatic.

 

[njgirl0863]

Thank you jerseyman

Nice job, NJ Girl. You just summarized it all quite neatly. It all sounds so perfectly logical and reasonable when you're speaking academically. Then there's real life, much of which we rarely have control over. Sometimes you can't help who you are attracted to... but you CAN help what you DO about it. This might contradict an earlier post of mine, but with so many other people in the world to choose from, why consciously go down a road that has such potentially devestating consequences? Make your life easier than that. You might wait longer for the next nookie, but it'll be a lot less emotionally dramatic.

Well like I had stated in my previous post, I am the voice of experience in this type of situation. Rarely does anyone win, as a matter of fact, someone has to lose, sometimes everyone loses.

It just takes so much time, energy and effort to maintain a secret or discreet relationship. Constantly looking over one's shoulder, always being careful what you say to whom and trying to essentially live two lives. Yes even the unattached person has to be very careful and discreet. You never know who you may know that has a friend who knows the person you are "dating"(or their spouse).

In my case my children knew I was dating someone, never met him but quite often had questions. He of course had nobody he could talk to about our relationship. It isn't normal. It is a dysfunctional relationship which more than likely stemmed from another dysfunctional relationship. So double the trouble, double the pain and double the stress....

I ask... WHY???????????? Make two lists; one of the good and bad points of dating the married person and the other a good and bad of the points of finding someone who is unattached and can contribute to a real relationship.

An affair is like a fairy tale, you rarely see the bad side of the other person and while you may have disagreements they usually are pushed aside because you want to savor the short periods of time you have together. As time passes anger, frustration and even resentment builds in one or both.

Here are some statistics: An average affair lasts two years. Less than 20% of people who cheat leave their spouses, of that 20% less than 5% stay with the person they left their spouse for, and the odds are the person with whom you are cheating will also cheat on you (once a cheat always a cheat),.

One more word, just because you aren't the married one in the affair don't think that doesn't make you a cheat too. That is probably the most difficult part for one to accept.

PS: Jerseyman this isn't directed to you I just liked what you had to say in your post and wanted to feed off your reply.

 

[jerseyman1963]

Well like I had stated in my previous post, I am the voice of experience in this type of situation. Rarely does anyone win, as a matter of fact, someone has to lose, sometimes everyone loses.

It just takes so much time, energy and effort to maintain a secret or discreet relationship. Constantly looking over one's shoulder, always being careful what you say to whom and trying to essentially live two lives. Yes even the unattached person has to be very careful and discreet. You never know who you may know that has a friend who knows the person you are "dating"(or their spouse).

In my case my children knew I was dating someone, never met him but quite often had questions. He of course had nobody he could talk to about our relationship. It isn't normal. It is a dysfunctional relationship which more than likely stemmed from another dysfunctional relationship. So double the trouble, double the pain and double the stress....

I ask... WHY???????????? Make two lists; one of the good and bad points of dating the married person and the other a good and bad of the points of finding someone who is unattached and can contribute to a real relationship.

An affair is like a fairy tale, you rarely see the bad side of the other person and while you may have disagreements they usually are pushed aside because you want to savor the short periods of time you have together. As time passes anger, frustration and even resentment builds in one or both.

Here are some statistics: An average affair lasts two years. Less than 20% of people who cheat leave their spouses, of that 20% less than 5% stay with the person they left their spouse for, and the odds are the person with whom you are cheating will also cheat on you (once a cheat always a cheat),.

One more word, just because you aren't the married one in the affair don't think that doesn't make you a cheat too. That is probably the most difficult part for one to accept.

PS: Jerseyman this isn't directed to you I just liked what you had to say in your post and wanted to feed off your reply.

Thanks NJ Girl. About half way through your post I understood that you were replying in a general way.

Feeding off of your post in return, I've been thinking about this a bit, and for the benefit of anyone tuning in who has not "gone there" yet, but might be thinking about it, here's what I think we're saying, or at least, here's what I think I am thinking (albeit in a convoluted, circuitous and seemingly contradictory way)...

I try not to be judgemental about what people do to get what they need or connect with each other in a meaningful way at any given point in their life. In my own case, I've had some relationships (long and short term) that on the surface might not have looked either wise or meaningful, but at the time were what I wanted or needed, either because I needed to connect with someone intimately, wanted to be a little wild, or wanted to connect with an existing friend in a deeper and more intimate way.

Sometimes that worked out, and I got what I needed, albeit imperfectly, or the relationship became deeper and more meaningful regardless of how long the physically intimate phase of it lasted.

Sometimes, it was a disaster, and it left me feeling vacant, unfulfilled and adrift. And that was just me. Obivously there was at least one other person feeling the effects.

It's a big world, with a lot of people, and we're all different, so what works for one person may not work for everyone, and I try not to be judgemental about what we each do and how we choose to live our lives.

BUT, everything always looks neat and tidy when you're fantasizing about it. Reality can often be messy, with unintended and unpredictable consequences. When real people with real and unpredictable emotions are factored in, the results can be devestating, and the risks for hurt and broken people are far greater than the potential rewards.

If you're sure your reasons are true, and if you're sure your potential paramour is similary in synch with you and with his or her self, go for it. You might have a really unique experience that deepens your life in some way. But if you have any doubts, if you have to ask yourself more than once if this is a good idea, it's probably not, and the initial fantasy thrill won't be worth the pain and agony later.

 

[eyeretinaeye]

affairs

I've done both, affair of the heart and affairs' of the flesh, the first was my wrong doing as were the second. To this day, 9 years later, an ember still burns in my heart for her. And not day goes by that I don't kick myself for letting another women into my life and hurting my wife as deeply as I did.

The 2 year affair nearly destroy my marriage and just thankful that the women I was with didn't have her husband find out about what she was doing with me. Either way 3 people got hurt, most of all my wife; even now there are things that have never changed. I remember that before when my wife and I made love, she would cry when she climaxed; not anymore. So sure go ahead and bang her a few times but leave it at that. Don't add love into the process or you might be the one that ruins something for another; just because you want to bang this fine piece of ass.

If I could change anything in my life I would give up all my personal wealth if I could take back what I took from my marriage by caring about another women as if she was my wife. So go ahead when you meet to get naked or before during coffee, ask her right out, are you married, do you have a open marriage, does your husband know your out catting around. And of course, the raging husband aside, if she's banging you, who else has she been banging and what off the wall nasty does she have waiting for you to catch. Or maybe it will just be a simple open marriage and she gets to bang you and treat you like a sex object which is all it every will be.

But if you have any morals, ya you know what those are and it's not those things hanging between your legs. Why would you want to maybe be the sole reason why a marriage gets broken up. Why would you want to maybe bring that kind of hell down upon someone's life. Ya, I know it's that 12 seconds of pleasure you feel when you have a orgasm. Or might it be that your brains are between your thighs instead of your ears.

So either way your fucked, just so you can get some strange and few seconds of pleasure.

 

[MaryAnn70]

ok for all those who thinnk its all about me...how can I find out what kind of marriage she has? whether it's open, in ruins, just keeping it together for the kids...or what ever.....how could I find these things out..I mean obviously i could just come out and ask her...but she already told me she's an independent lady...so that tells me that she doesn't have to tell her husband everywhere she goes or what she's doing? At least that's the way I look at it

It sounds to me that you are hearing what you want to hear. You communicate here, point-counterpoint, communicate with her and ask her a direct question. “Does your husband know you are playing around”? Ask for a YES or NO answer, that way you know for sure. If she insists in giving an ambiguous answer then she may be a player.

The moral issue is an entirely different story. Do you really care about that issue?

 

[jay810426]

what if the roles were reversed?

I've with my wife for almost 6 years and married for a year and a half. About four years ago I met a woman that I would have instantly hooked up with if I was single. We became good friends and have always been very flirty but have never let it go past that. Since then her and my wife have become good friends. I told my wife about my feelings for the other woman before we got married. My future wife was upset but we were able to get through it....we even had a threesome with this woman after we were married. The threesome had the typical no kisssing/no sex between me and the other woman rules even though i broke the first rule. I never want to do anything to hurt my wife but i can't get this other women out of my head. I know if I ever do it, it will ruin everything, but I can't stop thinking about it. I used to think that people who cheat were horrible and I could never understand how they could do that to the ones they love....but now i understand that sometimes your feelings and urges can be almost as strong as knowing and wanting to do what is right.

 

[Bluesboy2]

Has anyone had any sexual experiences with a married woman. I have this married woman that I met about a year ago...and It seems as though she enjoys flirting with me and has made comments to me aboout being a "very independent woman"!

What would be the best way to approach her about having a secret relationship together that woud involve tons of sex..I'm just alittle nervousabout breechig the subject with her and I'm curious to find out if she's hinting toward me with the comments she makes that she wants to get into my pants and shes waiting for me to make the first move or what?

If anyone has advice let me know

thanks
[/B]

I used to bed a married woman all the time. Till we got divorced...

 

[Shadow_Nymph]

If her husband is your uncle, which by the sounds of it he is - he will kick your ass. And deservedly so.

 

[Bluesboy2]

If her husband is your uncle, which by the sounds of it he is - he will kick your ass. And deservedly so.

Or watch. Deservedly so as well.

 

[bobsgirl]

Or watch. Deservedly so as well.

*snicker* you are a naughty boy, BB...

 

[Bluesboy2]

*snicker* you are a naughty boy, BB...

I have the bestest answers ever.

 

[Shadow_Nymph]

Lol!! Either way he definately needs to be involved...

 

[Bluesboy2]

Lol!! Either way he definately needs to be involved...

I think he would agree as well.

 

[bobsgirl]

I have the bestest answers ever.

A bit voyeuristic too.

Orgy, anyone?

 

[Bluesboy2]

A bit voyeuristic too.

Orgy, anyone?

Not really. I don't sit and watch. I am more like a cheerleader.

 

[bobsgirl]

Not really. I don't sit and watch. I am more like a cheerleader.

Yes, I know.

All for the good of humanity of course.

 

[Bluesboy2]

Yes, I know.

All for the good of humanity of course.

That reminds me... Where is Cate?

 

[bobsgirl]

That reminds me... Where is Cate?

I haven't talked to her today. I assume she's as sassy as ever.

This is a shameless hijack, BB. Shame on us.