bf wants me to fuck other men

[Belle_Nuit]

Maybe role play it. Tell him you're going to pretend he's another man. Use that guys name while making love (real or a made up name)

Play out a scenario like a massage parlour or something.

Be coy and reluctant at first and then give your self over.

Whisper the other guys name in his ear and beg him to cum in you before you go home to your boyfriend.

Plays out the fantasy for you both while remaining faithful and safe

That's a good idea. So far I've talked about other men that I would want to fuck. Its crazy how turned on he gets by that. I finally told him that I had been posting pics on here and he absolutely LOVED the idea.

 

[crash197177]

It sounds like he is ok with you following through on having sex with another man. I think it's all about your comfort level. Just keep your own boundaries in perspective.

 

[Belle_Nuit]

Ya, maybe I'll try out some "softer" things first. I could go on a date, maybe kiss another man, then rush home and tell him about it.

 

[MikeD93]

Ya, maybe I'll try out some "softer" things first. I could go on a date, maybe kiss another man, then rush home and tell him about it.

Baby steps dont rush it.

 

[Patchouli_girl]

......

 

[policywank]

If you get to the stage of actually doing it, make sure the parameters are those that work for you and your partner. Don't get drawn into opinions or stereotypes of what you are supposed to do. For instance, the fact that he likes to hear about it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to hear that the other guy was better or bigger or whatever.

Also I think it is easier for him to ease into it if he knows you are in charge. Again maybe he does get off on the idea of some other man "taking" his woman but don't assume that to be the case. The idea of his gf or wife fucking another man is difficult for most men in part because they envisage another guy sneering and arrogant and using the occasion to establish dominance over the husband. Again some men may be into this but some see it quite the opposite. They see the woman as a strong sexual being, doing as she pleases for her own desire - it reinforces her desire for sex and the husbands enlightened support of her sexuality and has little to do with the other man. He sees himself as being generous and sharing not dominated and taken advantage of. That perspective relies on the woman being in control - fucking another man is entirely different from submitting to another man.

Maybe one leads to the other and maybe it doesn't. But by being in control you offer something less emotionally challenging and more certain. Neither he or you can have a sense of how things will go if another man is in control and it is a certainty that there will be some unpleasant surprises along the way if that is the case.

Happy fucking.

 

[BareBackRider2]

Ya, maybe I'll try out some "softer" things first. I could go on a date, maybe kiss another man, then rush home and tell him about it.

Omg I would give anything to see my wife kiss another. Or come home to tell me about it.

Your BF is lucky to have you

 

[bps]

Maybe role play it. Tell him you're going to pretend he's another man. Use that guys name while making love (real or a made up name)

Play out a scenario like a massage parlour or something.

Be coy and reluctant at first and then give your self over.

Whisper the other guys name in his ear and beg him to cum in you before you go home to your boyfriend.

Plays out the fantasy for you both while remaining faithful and safe

don't know about the "safe" part in so many respects, but it seems as if faithful isn't really in play, as the BF not only approves of it, but is outright initiating the notion and encouraging its execution. big turn on.

 

[OpenMouth]

Sorry, I commented earlier assuming idea had as much appeal for you as for your bf. Now I realise we need to approach the matter with a little more caution!

A few years ago my wife was training to be a sports massage therapist. We joked initially about her offering 'extras' to fit young men, and eventually she knew I was quite into the whole concept. We came up with a plan that suited us both: she would drop hints that she was using her magic hands to their full potential, and I wouldn't press the matter, while basically giving her the go ahead to take it as far as she wanted, without confirming or denying it.

I have a vivid imagination and for the short time she was actually giving some free massages locally( she never actually took it up professionally) we had some really hot sex together. Just that possibility, the thought that just maybe she was wanking off these young guys (she was about 35 at the time) was enough to make me ache for her.

 

[littlecordelera]

The problem is, once you go down that road with your boyfriend it can become like a drug for him, always chasing the "high" of the first time and it can escalate into ever greater perversion.

I second that comment, although I wouldn't have used the word "perversion."

My husband and I have been doing this for a long time and even to this day, he pressures me to do things I'm not comfortable with. He can be very subtle about it, but he is constant. I have learned my lesson and I don't give in, but I learned that lesson the hard way, having posted some stuff online that was a little too much information.

You two need to have a rule that YOU call the shots. He'll like it. He'll like anything you require as long as you give him his fix. Learn to exploit that. It's half the fun.

 

[Belle_Nuit]

Lol he told me tonight that this isn't his "kink" he actually want to have an open relationship, only I won't let him sleep with others and so he was hoping this would soften me up to the idea. I knew thats what he was up to! I really don't want an open relationship, I think it would just make me dissatisfied with my current partner

 

[BareBackRider2]

Lol he told me tonight that this isn't his "kink" he actually want to have an open relationship, only I won't let him sleep with others and so he was hoping this would soften me up to the idea. I knew thats what he was up to! I really don't want an open relationship, I think it would just make me dissatisfied with my current partner

Oh no. Sorry to hear

For most of us with this kink, the LAST thing we want is an open relationship (swingers aside)

For me is all about my wife's pleasure at the EXPENSE of my own that's the turn on.

I hope you sort things out from here.

 

[Belle_Nuit]

Oh no. Sorry to hear

For most of us with this kink, the LAST thing we want is an open relationship (swingers aside)

For me is all about my wife's pleasure at the EXPENSE of my own that's the turn on.

I hope you sort things out from here.

I'm not surprised. We've been arguing over that one for years. He says he wont sleep with others if I don't want him to, and I believe him, so I guess that's something.

 

[SandraMustard]

Open relationships can work IF ...
If you first spend enough time with your significant other to truly know them. If you share everything else until your SO is connected to your whole life, not just your bed. If you have no insecurities about him or yourself.

You have reason to avoid the open relationship scene.

Don't believe BareBackRider2, cuckolds are NOT 'most of us here' but that is part of their mantra to think nobody can control a wife who wants to sleep around. I'd say most open relationships are about equal sharing.

 

[Belle_Nuit]

I think my personality is incompatible with an open relationship. I love very intensely, and really just want that one person. I also don't think sex would feel as good to me if there wasn't that connection. He wants to have an open sexual relationship, but not an open emotional relationship. I just don't think I could have sex with someone and not fall in love with them. I don't think I can separate sex from emotions

 

[Belle_Nuit]

He views sex as being akin to an enjoyable conversation, so why not have sex with others. I just don't see it that way

 

[paul466]

Belle, not to sound sappy, but if you were mine I'd want you all to myself. You are beautiful and you sound like a sweet heart just saying

 

[BareBackRider2]

Open relationships can work IF ...
If you first spend enough time with your significant other to truly know them. If you share everything else until your SO is connected to your whole life, not just your bed. If you have no insecurities about him or yourself.

You have reason to avoid the open relationship scene.

Don't believe BareBackRider2, cuckolds are NOT 'most of us here' but that is part of their mantra to think nobody can control a wife who wants to sleep around. I'd say most open relationships are about equal sharing.

Correction. I said "most of us with this kink" relating to the ORIGINAL post

Never said "most of us here"

Also I don't fully align myself to "cuckold" or use any particular "mantra"

As you were...

 

[pplwatching]

Love on your own terms. Take your pleasure on your own terms. That kind of self confidence and self respect is what makes a woman burn like the sun. You have a solid intuition. Listen to it and respect it, and demand that your lover do the same. There are some doors that are very difficult to close once they have been opened.

 

[ntp]

I thought immediately this was going to end up being about wanting an open relationship. The cuckold thing is a very specific kink but for whatever reason I think it's overrepresented among people on here compared to in "real life" but who knows. It seems a little dishonest to bring up something like "I want you to be with other men" without letting on that what you really mean is "i want to be with other women too, but I know you don't that, but I'm trying to manipulate you in to being ok with it anyway."

 

[Felix_Jones]

My boyfriend has told me that for the last several years, he has had fantasies of me fucking other men. He doesn't want to watch, or be part of it in anyway. He's also not into being humiliated. But he says he would love it, if I went out and fucked another man, and then came home and told him about it. Does anyone else share this kink?

I had thought that maybe this was his way of starting up an 'open relationship'. But when I told him that I would never give him "permission" to do the same thing, he said that's not what he wanted. If I did he'd totally go for it and would sleep with other women, but that if I didn't want him to then he wouldn't.

He just really seems to get turned on by the idea of me being a slut, and then coming home to him.

You don't need a boyfriend to fuck other men. Toss him aside and have at it. Always remember, people are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

 

[Curmudgeonly]

So..fuck whomever you want and just don't tell him....he is a dumazz.

 

[OpenMouth]

He views sex as being akin to an enjoyable conversation, so why not have sex with others. I just don't see it that way

I think a lot of men do; sex just doesn't have the same emotional weight as most women attach to it...

Not being judgemental, I think it's a biological thing.

I realise I'm massively generalising as well.

 

[OpenMouth]

Oh no. Sorry to hear

For most of us with this kink, the LAST thing we want is an open relationship (swingers aside)

For me is all about my wife's pleasure at the EXPENSE of my own that's the turn on.
.

That's absolutely it for me.

I'd want her to be completely fulfilled physically as a sensual woman; I don't want anybody but her.

 

[suckonsimon]

I think a lot of men do; sex just doesn't have the same emotional weight as most women attach to it...

Not being judgemental, I think it's a biological thing.

I realise I'm massively generalising as well.

And it's that "emotional weight" about it in his woman's heart that a man who is a lover needs to honour and respect and value; that is exactly why for me, a total group sex fantasist from childhood, the way has to be monogamy: the woman I married needs that, and therefore it is my desire too. If that sounds too freakin honourable, well tough; it's the reality for a man who genuinely loves a woman.