Bi-curious hesitation

[minn]

Did I write this!?

I was and acted on it once. Now that I did I wish I could again. It’s becoming an obsession but being married I’m thinking my opportunities are few and maybe unrealistic. Oh well.

Easyvirtue - Man are we alike! What you stated above is my life exactly! Wish you lived in the Minneapolis area. We could meet for coffee or a beer and discuss our dilemmas!

 

[fitandfresh]

Yep

I was and acted on it once. Now that I did I wish I could again. It’s becoming an obsession but being married I’m thinking my opportunities are few and maybe unrealistic. Oh well.

Same situation and now retired and back in the UK even more limited opportunities

 

[charlie069]

normal What's Normal

I am bi-curious and I was wondering something if anyone else had gone/is going through this. There will be times when I am really curious, like, I am ready to do it at this very moment. It's all I can fantasize about and something I really want. Other times I will be almost like, 'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again. Has anybody gone through this, or is going through something like this, and how did you get through it? Is this normal? For me it's just really confusing. How can I go from really wanting something, to thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Thanks.

Everyone is normal, as everyone is unique.

I have gone through a similar turmoil for several years, I have had a couple of guys wank me off, one in a shop one in a sauna. I still fantasise about sucking a cock. and Almost ended up with a meet today to do just that. What stopped me? A phone call to say that my Daughter was coming home from work early. So yet again i'm almost there but not quite.

I say go for it. If you enjoy do it again if not chalk it down to experience.

 

[fitandfresh]

Well

Very natural, but I am not struggling anymore. I realize I am more female than Male.

That male part is very tasty

 

[whistler1]

This sounds like me. I will go through periods of thinking about it and then others of feeling like an absolute loser who is so pathetic he can't get any pussy that he has to resort to thinking about cock.

 

[Blueser916]

I am bi-curious and I was wondering something if anyone else had gone/is going through this. There will be times when I am really curious, like, I am ready to do it at this very moment. It's all I can fantasize about and something I really want. Other times I will be almost like, 'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again. Has anybody gone through this, or is going through something like this, and how did you get through it? Is this normal? For me it's just really confusing. How can I go from really wanting something, to thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Thanks.

What you describe is very familiar. I'm a few years beyond "curious" and still experience that flip-flop. There's nothing wrong with you. What's the source of the idea that thee is something wrong with your sexual desire? How persistent is this desire? Is it realistic to think it will just go away if you don't act on it? Thinking about those questions may help you sort your situation. Good luck, don't stress over it!

 

[Vafunman42]

Bi

We all think about it sometime. Once I tried it I liked it. Many women like sucking so why wouldn't so why wouldn't I like it. Men know more what they like and so I knew what please to give the guy I was sucking. I get more turned on when being watched.

 

[mtsnowrider]

Same here. When alone, which is not very often, I break out the dildos and suck and ride them like I'm making a gay porn. But after I cum I sometimes think 'What the hell am I doing!' and I don't think about cock at all for a few days. Then the urge comes back and the cycle repeats.

Exactly. And while there is some very logical and well-reasoned advice in this thread actually following that advice is the hard part. Reality is a lot more complicated than theory

 

[Greatwanni]

I gotta say, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when posting this. I mean, I knew there would be support and understanding, but this is something else. I know we're all strangers here, but you people really make it feel like I'm talking to someone I've known for a long time and is a trusted and understanding person. It feels so good to be able to unload these things from my mind here and not expect either negativity/judgement, or a million questions. You've all been awesome, thank you!

 

[bicuriousnc]

I gotta say, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when posting this. I mean, I knew there would be support and understanding, but this is something else. I know we're all strangers here, but you people really make it feel like I'm talking to someone I've known for a long time and is a trusted and understanding person. It feels so good to be able to unload these things from my mind here and not expect either negativity/judgement, or a million questions. You've all been awesome, thank you!

We're all just trying to get in your pants..... jk ;-)

Support here can be amazing

 

[MaineWood]

I don't think there is anything unusual about what you're feeling. I had one experience a few years ago, it took me a long time to make that happen and few fits and starts. I still have some of the same thoughts now when trying to find a way to try again.

 

[Wanking_Frank]

Yes this is exactly where I’m at too. Opportunities would be rare but the desire ebbs and flows a lot. There are times where I’m ready to go through with it and then something causes me to get driven away from those thoughts. Last time it was a nasty stomach flu.

Eventually it will happen- I would never discourage anyone from trying even though I still haven’t. Just hoping for the right opportunity.

 

[DNow51]

Exactly - nice response!

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

my 2 cents

Its all in the hormones... we get a thought or an urge that kicks them in and the mind takes over. You see and feel things in a different perspective and you get turned on for whats on your mind sexually... then you cum, hormones get back to their usual level, and the thought comes to mind "what they hell was I thinking".

Plenty of relationships have fallen because of it. Remember , waking up the next morning with a girl you took to bed and thinking "ugh".

I'm not saying I'm an expert or knowledgeable... it just makes sense. Oh, yea, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once.

 

[cdnGuy2016]

I am bi-curious and I was wondering something if anyone else had gone/is going through this. There will be times when I am really curious, like, I am ready to do it at this very moment. It's all I can fantasize about and something I really want. Other times I will be almost like, 'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again. Has anybody gone through this, or is going through something like this, and how did you get through it? Is this normal? For me it's just really confusing. How can I go from really wanting something, to thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Thanks.

hey - great post
same boat here - totally feel the same - all the time

 

[michael2956]

It was over 10 years ago when I had my first, conscious gay fantasy. I was picking up my youngest daughter and her friend at a neighborhood pool. Two lifeguards were walking out, tan and buff, water still clinging to their hard bodies. As I drove home, I couldn't get them out of my mind and immediately ran upstairs, locked the door, stripped and masturbated.

For a number of reasons, I tried to suppress these feelings and desires, but they kept coming back. I've found a few hot cyber playmates over the years. We exchange pictures and hot talk, but I've never physically been with a man. One of my playmates is in a similar situation. Married, established, and he's never touched another man sexually. I asked him once if he thought he would ever "cross the line" if the opportunity arose. Like me, he said he thinks he's ready. I wish he lived closer....

I want to try the real thing....

 

[Gods_Favorite]

I am bi-curious and I was wondering something if anyone else had gone/is going through this. There will be times when I am really curious, like, I am ready to do it at this very moment. It's all I can fantasize about and something I really want. Other times I will be almost like, 'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again. Has anybody gone through this, or is going through something like this, and how did you get through it? Is this normal? For me it's just really confusing. How can I go from really wanting something, to thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Thanks.

It is normal I flaked on a lot of guys before eventually experimenting with my sexuality. My first m2m experience was a erotic massage from a gay man on Craigslist, I think that was very fitting for me and it allowed me to dictate how far I wanted to go.

 

[Astroman72]

Its all in the hormones... we get a thought or an urge that kicks them in and the mind takes over. You see and feel things in a different perspective and you get turned on for whats on your mind sexually... then you cum, hormones get back to their usual level, and the thought comes to mind "what they hell was I thinking".

Plenty of relationships have fallen because of it. Remember , waking up the next morning with a girl you took to bed and thinking "ugh".

I'm not saying I'm an expert or knowledgeable... it just makes sense. Oh, yea, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once.

Yep, totally agree. I don't think it has much to do with gay or straight--it's just sex in general. It's like a spell comes over you, and you have an overpowering compulsion for physical activities that are pretty irrational, even under the most "acceptable" circumstances.

 

[philly1]

Hey

I am bi-curious and I was wondering something if anyone else had gone/is going through this. There will be times when I am really curious, like, I am ready to do it at this very moment. It's all I can fantasize about and something I really want. Other times I will be almost like, 'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again. Has anybody gone through this, or is going through something like this, and how did you get through it? Is this normal? For me it's just really confusing. How can I go from really wanting something, to thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Thanks.

Dude I can so relate to that!!! I totally feel hi on this one!
But for me , it’s only about giving oral

 

[BritPup]

'dude, what the hell were you thinking?' And then be turned off it for some time before I go back to really wanting it again.

100%

I don't think I was one of those guys who was born this way (that's a big argument for another thread), and I was totally straight in chasing girls and fantasies. Didn't think about guys, at all, and although I knew there were queer men, the idea didn't bother me one way or the other.

But then I remember the first time I saw a porn photo of a woman giving a BJ to a guy. I saw the look in her eye and how much she was enjoying it and just decided that I wanted to try that, too. But I couldn't tell a soul. Back then, no-one was open about MM sex.

So I went through the exact same feeling you described for ages. Even after my first MM encounter (oral both ways), I felt more guilty than satisfied and said "never again" to myself. That feeling has followed me around for decades, and so I eventually learned to deal with it and just accept the way I feel in the moment.

 

[2moreyardsofsail]

No, I believe those thoughts are normal. I've had the same thoughts for years. Ive discussed it with my wife she didn't act like it was out of left field. I think for me it would have to happen, no planning envolved. I'm in the closet and not sure I'll ever be out! Maybe someday. I hope you figure it out! Cheers

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

It is normal I flaked on a lot of guys before eventually experimenting with my sexuality. My first m2m experience was a erotic massage from a gay man on Craigslist, I think that was very fitting for me and it allowed me to dictate how far I wanted to go.

Your idea about starting with a massage, to dictate to yourself and the other person just how far you are comfortable with going at that present time, is great.
It was actually one of the driving reasons that at the age of seventeen I taught myself the art of massage. It was and still is a technique that I have use time and again, to help me determine a persons receptiveness to me in a sexual way at 'that' present time.

 

[IdahoRandy]

Comes and goes

For years I've had the urge to suck cock. It is becoming a obsession.

 

[Iwant2be]

Me too Randy, have so many fantasies but have not acted upon them yet but i am getting closer and closer, want to get sucked and suck a dick so bad

 

[OnaTangent]

I am increasingly turned on by the idea of cock but still love pussy. I have never been that into random hookups but at the same time a bit uncertain how a relationship with a guy would work. I keep my eyes open open but the right situation has yet to develop.