Bieng collared: What Does It Mean To You?

[lothwen]

collar means to that I'm owned and safe more than any wedding ring can bring as its a sign of your submission first and secondly a sign that your proud to be owned by a master

Forgive me, as I am not a member of any type of BDSM relationship or lifestyle, and I am also not married. So what you are about to read are the observations of a vanilla singleton


When people get married and they exchange their vows they promise to love, honor, cherish and obey, whether before God or just the Law. Yet there is an almost 50% divorce rate in the United States. I'm sure that there are many M/s or D/s (sorry if I get the terms wrong) who have their collaring ceremonies or what have you, and the relationship/partnership doesn't work out. So just because you have the collar doesn't automatically elevate your relationship to a higher level.

Okay, I'm done rambling now. I really hope I didn't offend anybody with my very first BDSM post

 

[seela]

When people get married and they exchange their vows they promise to love, honor, cherish and obey, whether before God or just the Law. Yet there is an almost 50% divorce rate in the United States. I'm sure that there are many M/s or D/s (sorry if I get the terms wrong) who have their collaring ceremonies or what have you, and the relationship/partnership doesn't work out. So just because you have the collar doesn't automatically elevate your relationship to a higher level.

Ding, ding, ding! Exactly! (And welcome to BDSM Talk and Café, lothwen!)

And a M/s or D/s doesn't automatically mean you have a deeper relationship or something more profound than vanilla people can ever experience.

If your (general you) D/s or M/s relationship is deep and profound, that's amazing. If your vanilla relationship wasn't like that, it doesn't mean somebody else's vanilla relationship can't be.

I have a collar, but it's actually lost a lot of its symbolism during the years. It's just an object. It's dear to me and touching or seeing it brings back a lot of memories, but it's still just an object. It doesn't make me any more or less committed to him and our relationship.

 

[Kojote]

When people get married and they exchange their vows they promise to love, honor, cherish and obey, whether before God or just the Law. Yet there is an almost 50% divorce rate in the United States. I'm sure that there are many M/s or D/s (sorry if I get the terms wrong) who have their collaring ceremonies or what have you, and the relationship/partnership doesn't work out. So just because you have the collar doesn't automatically elevate your relationship to a higher level.

The first ring I bought for my very first girlfriend certainly did bring our relationship to a higher level.
At least in my head back then.
And curiosly it has been that way with all of those 'little' presents. Be it rings or necklaces or a collar.

It's a symbol. Of commitment. To be seen by others.
For me that's what it is about.
And regarding the collaring it's just a way to tell everybody who wants to konw something about the type of relationship. Doubling as some kind of 'coming out' for freinds or even family at times.

As I said: I'm not reall into collaring. For me it's jewellery. But I do get the symbolism and can appreciate that. And I also appreciate the specific notion of BDSM in it.
(Plus: It just looks hawt... )

 

[lothwen]

The first ring I bought for my very first girlfriend certainly did bring our relationship to a higher level.
At least in my head back then.
And curiosly it has been that way with all of those 'little' presents. Be it rings or necklaces or a collar.

It's a symbol. Of commitment. To be seen by others.
For me that's what it is about.
And regarding the collaring it's just a way to tell everybody who wants to konw something about the type of relationship. Doubling as some kind of 'coming out' for freinds or even family at times.

As I said: I'm not reall into collaring. For me it's jewellery. But I do get the symbolism and can appreciate that. And I also appreciate the specific notion of BDSM in it.
(Plus: It just looks hawt... )

My point though was that without the commitment the ring and/or the collar is meaningless. I know too many people who get engaged and married for the sole reason of having that ring on their finger. Admittedly, I don't know anyone who's in a BDSM relationship (or if they are, it's not known to me) but I can imagine that there are alot of parallels out there

 

[Stella_Omega]

without the commitment the ring and/or the collar is meaningless.

In a nutshell!

 

[Kojote]

Admittedly, I don't know anyone who's in a BDSM relationship (or if they are, it's not known to me) but I can imagine that there are alot of parallels out there

I won't argue about that.
I'd even say: without commitment the whole realtionship is kinda meaningless.

But I gave up on trying to tell people that. If they are 'happy' with their ring or collar that's allright with me. And if they realize they are lying to themselves I will hear them out and not tell them, that I may have seen this coming.

 

[nippleslut]

My collar means to me that I am owned. It means that he has chosen to make our relationship permant. To me it is like a wedding ring. He had been married twice before and told me at the start we would never get married. However I am his first sub that he collared. To him and myself it means alot. It is a steel collar that is locked on me, not my choice to take off. My friends collar means not much to her. To her its just pretty and can wear it as chosen. To each their own.

 

[Beck31]

collared

Exactly. My Mistress was married before. Our relationship is a lot stronger and it is heading towards permanent status. My collar says to others I am owned so back off.