Bistro Bijou

[UnderYourSpell]

Mucky little bugga! *crosses legs*

 

[Homburg]

From the same show Britains Got Talent they were both semi finalists and Paul Potts won

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DelJrP3P7tA&feature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNoiVrJDsE&feature=related

I've seen both of those clips before. Paul Potts blew me away. I was utterly not expecting that. And how in the world could you watch Connie Talbot and not fall in love with that sweet little voice?

 

[sassynyc]

Please make sure that you read and vote for any of the PF&D folks that are entered in the Valentine's Day contest. I'm there and I'm pretty sure that LadyS will be there too.

I'd also encourage everybody to try their hand at writing a V Day story as well!




P.S. Yes, I know that this is a shameless plug for both of us, but what the hell!

But you are shameless....and as far as I know, you like a good plug. In essence, the perfect advertisement.

 

[sassynyc]

*waves to Hommie and UYS*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Waves back I am knee deep in strange poetry forms lol

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Please make sure that you read and vote for any of the PF&D folks that are entered in the Valentine's Day contest. I'm there and I'm pretty sure that LadyS will be there too.

I'd also encourage everybody to try their hand at writing a V Day story as well!




P.S. Yes, I know that this is a shameless plug for both of us, but what the hell!

Aw.. ty, SB.
Yes, I submitted my story today, so it will probably post tonight.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wanders through an empty room tears in my eyes
Is this where the story ends is this goodbye ?...........

 

[Tzara]

(TZARA picks his way among the overturned and dusty tables, the shriveled oranges and peanut shells that litter the floor.)

(Idly, to himself): I see they canceled the cleaning service. But at least (HE blows the dust off of some few CDs) they left my Birgit Nilsson recordings. Figures. Cultural heathens.

(HE listens to the recording, which is apparently played through magical means, since no CD deck is present)

Oh, hey. (HE picks up a disc lying on a tabletop and looks intently at it.) Turandot! Well, at least I can keep that.

I hope I can find the case for it, though.

(HE wanders about for some additional while, poking into dusty corners, probably looking for a drink, though the cache of alcohol is long gone. After some time, HE rights a chair, dusts it off, and sits down.)

I miss Sassy. (The remark is made to no one in particular, though it must be said, announced in a somewhat plaintive voice. Then, from HIS copious pockets, HE pulls out a vintage iPod and a BOSE docking station for same. After some fiddling, which suggests HIS, at best, marginal competence with modern technology, Lena Horne begins to sing.)

And I wonder where Bijou is?

 

[Homburg]

And I wonder where Bijou is?

She's around, mate. Just not around here.

Cheers. *takes a drink*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Tz I miss you so *cries*

 

[beetrootjesuit]

Scene II

A man with a gray hat exits stage left. Tzara stands swaying to the sound of Lena. A crash from under the sink.

Tz: Wotthefuck?

A tonsured head rises.

beet: Hi. I'm beetrootjesuit. Pleased to be of service. Heard YOU wanted a drink. Water into wine is one of my specialties. I've tweeked the plumbing and added one our patented Canaanizers. I'm thinking a nice pinot noir, you know, heartbreak grape and all.

beet grabs two tumblers, blows off the dust and fills them with a purplish liquid from the tap.

beet: Cheers!

As they take a sip, a dark figure flies into the room spins twice around the chandelier and exits leaving behind a trail of metaphor.

Tz: Wotthefuck?

beet: Oh that's the Unmanned Poet. He's new over at the Reviews. Back from the cave days. Don't get too much of that sparkly stuff on YOU or YOUR FEET will turn into iambs.

Tz: Jeezus.

beet: Yup. Big changes since YOU were last here. Place needs a dusting. Maybe those feather dusters could be pressed into service as actual dusters for once.

The toilet in the back flushes then there is a scream.

Tz: Wotthefuck?

From offstage:

HM Queen Liz II: Will someone please inform the plumber that when I pull the chain the bowl fills with what smells like claret. The corgis will not be amused.

Tz: Whothefuck?

beet: Oh that's Her Majesty. She popped in to console UYS.


fade to black

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Feet move under the piano

 

[sassynyc]

(TZARA picks his way among the overturned and dusty tables, the shriveled oranges and peanut shells that litter the floor.)

(Idly, to himself): I see they canceled the cleaning service. But at least (HE blows the dust off of some few CDs) they left my Birgit Nilsson recordings. Figures. Cultural heathens.

(HE listens to the recording, which is apparently played through magical means, since no CD deck is present)

Oh, hey. (HE picks up a disc lying on a tabletop and looks intently at it.) Turandot! Well, at least I can keep that.

I hope I can find the case for it, though.

(HE wanders about for some additional while, poking into dusty corners, probably looking for a drink, though the cache of alcohol is long gone. After some time, HE rights a chair, dusts it off, and sits down.)

I miss Sassy. (The remark is made to no one in particular, though it must be said, announced in a somewhat plaintive voice. Then, from HIS copious pockets, HE pulls out a vintage iPod and a BOSE docking station for same. After some fiddling, which suggests HIS, at best, marginal competence with modern technology, Lena Horne begins to sing.)

And I wonder where Bijou is?

*puts a nickel on the needle so it doesn't wobble when Billie starts to sing*
(sorry Tz, no cd....only vinyl will do for this one)

*slow dances with Tz on the dusty bar top*

you are missed too, friend

 

[sassynyc]

Hugs to Hom, UYS, and any other Bistro patrons passing through.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

sooooooooo good to see you Sassy

 

[Tzara]

She's around, mate. Just not around here.

Cheers. *takes a drink*

I know. It was a rhetorical question.

 

[Tzara]

Tz I miss you so *cries*

Really?

Sorry, I was just off writing incest stories for Survivor. The other Survivor.

Well, trying to write incest stories. I thought it would be smart to start out with the least congenial (at least to me) category and put it to bed, so to speak.

Turns out it wasn't. Smart. I can't get very enthused about fucking my sister (and I don't even have a sister), and the other possibilities are even less appealing.

Maybe I could rip off Sophocles and do an X-rated version of Oedipus the King. As a musical, perhaps?

In Thebes, the King his mother likes to screw.
Jocasta? Well, she knows a thing or two
On how to tease a man quite overdue
For squirting out his Grecian male goo.
'Cuz more than just his foot is swollen, too.​

Hmmm. Maybe not.

 

[Tzara]

*puts a nickel on the needle so it doesn't wabble when Billie starts to sing*
(sorry Tz, no cd....only vinyl will do for this one)

*slow dances with Tz on the dusty bar top*

you are missed too, friend

Oh, good, you're here. I was just about to pull on a flannel shirt, get out my guitar and harmonica, and do my best Neil Young imitation.

This dancing stuff is much better. For everyone.

Hey. Has anyone noticed that the tap water in here is red? It's like something out of The Exorcist or something. I even saw a priest.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Really?

Sorry, I was just off writing incest stories for Survivor. The other Survivor.

Well, trying to write incest stories. I thought it would be smart to start out with the least congenial (at least to me) category and put it to bed, so to speak.

Turns out it wasn't. Smart. I can't get very enthused about fucking my sister (and I don't even have a sister), and the other possibilities are even less appealing.

Maybe I could rip off Sophocles and do an X-rated version of Oedipus the King. As a musical, perhaps?

In Thebes, the King his mother likes to screw.
Jocasta? Well, she knows a thing or two
On how to tease a man quite overdue
For squirting out his Grecian male goo.
'Cuz more than just his foot is swollen, too.​

Hmmm. Maybe not.

Go for the ancient Egyptians! I wonder if people would find socially-sanctioned incest to be as exciting? (The people who find it exciting, that is.)

 

[Homburg]

Hugs to Hom, UYS, and any other Bistro patrons passing through.

*hugs back*

Busy night around here, comparatively speaking.

 

[sassynyc]

Oh, good, you're here. I was just about to pull on a flannel shirt, get out my guitar and harmonica, and do my best Neil Young imitation.

This dancing stuff is much better. For everyone.

Hey. Has anyone noticed that the tap water in here is red? It's like something out of The Exorcist or something. I even saw a priest.

New on the bistro wine list:

RedRum

excellent with beef

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Really?

Sorry, I was just off writing incest stories for Survivor. The other Survivor.

Well, trying to write incest stories. I thought it would be smart to start out with the least congenial (at least to me) category and put it to bed, so to speak.

Turns out it wasn't. Smart. I can't get very enthused about fucking my sister (and I don't even have a sister), and the other possibilities are even less appealing.

Maybe I could rip off Sophocles and do an X-rated version of Oedipus the King. As a musical, perhaps?

In Thebes, the King his mother likes to screw.
Jocasta? Well, she knows a thing or two
On how to tease a man quite overdue
For squirting out his Grecian male goo.
'Cuz more than just his foot is swollen, too.​

Hmmm. Maybe not.

Yes really you're the first one that realised what the word 'probe' does to me ..... oooo goes all wriggly!

New on the bistro wine list:

RedRum

excellent with beef

*giggles* Red Rum was a famous racehorse ....... or murder spelt backwards

 

[Tzara]

Go for the ancient Egyptians! I wonder if people would find socially-sanctioned incest to be as exciting? (The people who find it exciting, that is.)

Egyptian dynasties! There's an idea!

Thanks, Ms. Smartass.



Smart, but very fetching, if I may be so bold.

 

[sassynyc]

Yes really you're the first one that realised what the word 'probe' does to me ..... oooo goes all wriggly!



*giggles* Red Rum was a famous racehorse ....... or murder spelt backwards

dunno about the horse, but the latter is a classic

 

[Tzara]

Busy night around here, comparatively speaking.

I hate to say this, but in the confusion of our late nuclear war, I seem to have misplaced my copy of Scoutmaster Homburg's Guide to Tying Knots. This is unfortunate, as I am working on the merit badge. Well, that, and Dora still has a leg free and you just know how feisty she can be. I mean, she spit the gag out and is now lecturing me about the New Kingdom. Frankly, I had other plans for the evening.

I don't suppose you have another copy, do you?