Bistro Bijou

[Tzara]

And fucking jock-straps are always too small.

Yeah, they are. Uncomfortable as hell.

And what fucking sadists made athletic cups that small? The times I've worn them were exercises in self-CBT.

After I decided that interpreting this acronym as Computer-Based Training or Cognitive Behavior Therapy or even as Chicago Board of Trade did not make any sense, I finally figured this out thanks to the global store of information that is W3.

Sometimes conversations here need closed captioning for the kink-impaired.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Seems to me that if I were a designer of jockstraps and cups and things, I'd probably err on the side of small, cause how sad would it be for someone to have to say, oh, sorry, this one's too big for me.

 

[Tzara]

Seems to me that if I were a designer of jockstraps and cups and things, I'd probably err on the side of small, cause how sad would it be for someone to have to say, oh, sorry, this one's too big for me.

I shudder to think what they would look like if you were a designer of such things. I've read some of those stories, y'know.

I think the intent is to squash the dangly things up against the body so you can run around comfortably, in much the same way as sports bra (the cup thing, of course, is meant to keep your testicles intact in the case of wild pitch or evil linebacker's foot, so is fundamentally different). I understand the cup, though as Dr. H. says, they're really uncomfortable, to the point you're willing to risk the injury to put off the certain pain, but jockstraps in general (e.g., for track and field) I fail to understand. I mean, even Australopithecus was running around the savannah chasing game (or tail) and didn't need any artificial support.

Oh, dear. Now some smartass will show up with a link to an article in the Barbados Review of Anthropology talking about the evidence for early hominid testicle supports. Fossilized bear fur, or something.

 

[Homburg]

It's the balls, man. We've had the discussion about surprise dips in ice cold water.

*happy sounds of Shank shufflin' down the street...
"You don't need a penny just to hang around,
But if you've got a nickel, won't you lay your money down?"

I'm tellin ya. Or how about the song where he's watching the kids play through his back door?

--

ur so cute when ur bein manly.

*flex*

The idea of you doing self-CBT just amuses the hell out of me.

I'm terribly sorry about that, but it's just how I am.

I do like men who have strong opinions about underwear. Theirs, someone else's, whatever.

Considering how little my balls tolerate disturbances, not even rough handling. Disturbances are unwelcome. This means I take my underwear seriously.

I'll give you a quarter if you show me your underwear...

Oddly enough, I think that a pic of the aforementioned black Underarmour boxer-briefs was posted here on Lit a while back.

--

Yeah, they are. Uncomfortable as hell.
After I decided that interpreting this acronym as Computer-Based Training or Cognitive Behavior Therapy or even as Chicago Board of Trade did not make any sense, I finally figured this out thanks to the global store of information that is W3.

Sometimes conversations here need closed captioning for the kink-impaired.

I didn't think people would really want to know.

--

Seems to me that if I were a designer of jockstraps and cups and things, I'd probably err on the side of small, cause how sad would it be for someone to have to say, oh, sorry, this one's too big for me.

I would love it. The room, it would be lovely.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Isn't there a tribe that shoves them back inside? bet you men are wincing now lol!

 

[Homburg]

Isn't there a tribe that shoves them back inside? bet you men are wincing now lol!

There was a particular tribe that would purposefully contract the parasite that caused elephantitis of the balls. People do some strange shit.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There was a particular tribe that would purposefully contract the parasite that caused elephantitis of the balls. People do some strange shit.

Why balls? dong I could partially understand

 

[Homburg]

Why balls? dong I could partially understand

I have no bloody clue. Why would someone want to push them up n like you mentioned? No clue.

 

[Tzara]

Why balls? dong I could partially understand

Same idea. Superstimulus. The testicles being the body part that produces semen, the theory probably goes something like bigger balls make for more semen and are thus more able to impregnate women, which is from a genetic standpoint, the goal of the whole game.

Not that any of this is conscious.

Just part of that human thing where we're all wanting to think of ourselves as irresistibly desirable sexually.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I have no bloody clue. Why would someone want to push them up n like you mentioned? No clue.

The pushing up is to protect them when crashing around in the Amazon forest or wherever

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Same idea. Superstimulus. The testicles being the body part that produces semen, the theory probably goes something like bigger balls make for more semen and are thus more able to impregnate women, which is from a genetic standpoint, the goal of the whole game.

Not that any of this is conscious.

Just part of that human thing where we're all wanting to think of ourselves as irresistibly desirable sexually.

oh you are already ... you found out about my 'probe' fetish and as for Homb ermmm he found out other 'things' *blush*

 

[Shankara20]

I'll give you a quarter if you show me your underwear...

link - you know where to send the money...

 

[Homburg]

Same idea. Superstimulus. The testicles being the body part that produces semen, the theory probably goes something like bigger balls make for more semen and are thus more able to impregnate women, which is from a genetic standpoint, the goal of the whole game.

Not that any of this is conscious.

Just part of that human thing where we're all wanting to think of ourselves as irresistibly desirable sexually.

It would be rather amusing if it were conscious.

"Have you seen the size of my balls?" would become a pick-up. Cup size would be the new "well-endowed"

 

[Shankara20]

"Have you seen the size of my balls?" would become a pick-up. Cup size would be the new "well-endowed"

we could bring back codpieces

 

[unpredictablebijou]

we could bring back codpieces

Some restaurants require ties. Not the Bistro.

Excuse me sir, we do require codpieces here. If you don't have one with you, we'd be happy to loan you one of these...

 

[Shankara20]

Excuse me sir, we do require codpieces here. If you don't have one with you, we'd be happy to loan you one of these...

one size fits all????

 

[champagne1982]

Some restaurants require ties. Not the Bistro.

Excuse me sir, we do require codpieces here. If you don't have one with you, we'd be happy to loan you one of these...

Hmmm.. seems like the drummer's happy to see you. LOL

 

[unpredictablebijou]

one size fits all????

Most of them are spandex. Very flexible.

Or you can explore our new kokigami line.

Try this on. It's one of my favorites.

eta:

Hmmm.. seems like the drummer's happy to see you. LOL

In a codpiece, you're happy to see everybody.

 

[Shankara20]

Or you can explore our new kokigami line.

Try this on. It's one of my favorites.

any reason to fear paper cuts

 

[unpredictablebijou]

any reason to fear paper cuts

Oh like you wouldn't get off on that.

But no, not that I know of. It's good stiff cardstock, and you can roll the edges if you're nervous.

 

[Shankara20]

Oh like you wouldn't get off on that.

But no, not that I know of. It's good stiff cardstock, and you can roll the edges if you're nervous.

oh-thank-the-goddess
I sure don't ever want to hurt my, errr, you know, thingie

 

[unpredictablebijou]

oh-thank-the-goddess
I sure don't ever want to hurt my, errr, you know, thingie

Nor would I ever want it to experience any discomfort.

 

[Shankara20]

Nor would I ever want it to experience any discomfort.

that is just so nice of you to care all that much about me and mine

 

[unpredictablebijou]

that is just so nice of you to care all that much about me and mine

I am such a nice person. EVeryone says so.

*subtly uses foot to shove rope, candle and carabiners back under chaise lounge*

 

[Shankara20]

*subtly uses foot to shove rope, candle and carabiners back under chaise lounge*

ok if I set here on the chaise?


So what have you been doing with yourself lately?