Brutal insensitivity

[gingermango]

Ohhhhhhhhh Gingermango!!

I remember you, this is all starting to make sense now. You're the "tough sub" who isn't afraid of the big bad doms. Carry on.

Um, no. I think you must have me confused with someone else. For one thing, I don't think I've ever claimed to be a "tough sub" at all.

For another, the only dominant I'm truly afraid of is my wife, and that's a fact.

And for a third, I don't play or get involved with lunatics, psychotics or abusers of any stripe. My kinks are my kinks, as are those of the dominants with whom I've been involved. But I have enough of a life outside the bedroom (including people emotionally and financially dependent on me) to know what my limits are and why I have them.

 

[alice_underneath]

Given this response, I can now make the real point that I wanted to express. If 'firm and unrelenting' is not abuse, then 'brutally insensitive' (in this context) is not abuse either. It is just a more intense version of the same dynamic.

To make a long story short, I think abuse is a highly nebulous concept.

I agree with you. Please note that my comments related to a single incident involving a bed that had to be made, the ensuing argument, and a Dom's method of resolving the same.

Extrapolating the conclusion to an entire relationship (yours or anyone else's) was not the intent of my post.

Alice

 

[Marquis]

I agree with you. Please note that my comments related to a single incident involving a bed that had to be made, the ensuing argument, and a Dom's method of resolving the same.

Extrapolating the conclusion to an entire relationship (yours or anyone else's) was not the intent of my post.

Alice

I know, I just kinda went on a roll. I think the TIH clip you posted was totally on point.

 

[Mr. Mann]

I disagree. I think brutal insensitivity is not a path, but a tool which a Dom must keep in his toolbelt. There is a time for sensitivity. True, loving, doting sensitivity; but there is also a time to be cold and uncompromising. Being able to appreciate both ends of this spectrum is where true Mastery lies.

I don't think we are in total disagreement, except perhaps in our respective definitions of the term "brutal insensitivity".

Yes, your post = you pick the terms. However, the definition of terms is the cornerstone of critical debate.

To *me*, the mere fact that one *chooses* between the two respective approaches at various times means that a PYL isn't "brutally insensitive" as a person. Rather, they may choose to behave, or otherwise find themselves behaving, in a way that is "brutally insensitive" at various times for various reasons.

So... when *I* say that choosing to be "brutally insenstive" is the wrong path, I mean that it would be incorrect to chose that *as* one's path... as one's sort of "default mode of operation", as opposed to simply one mode among others that may be used as appropriate.

However, when you speak in terms such as that which I quoted above where you expound more on your definition, then I find little room to disagree.

To extend my horse analogy... sometimes you give them a lump of sugar. Other times, you dig your spurs in hard. Using only one or the other will yeild only partial results. ~ As you said, True Mastery is using BOTH, and knowing when each is appropriate for your desired purpose.

 

[Netzach]

to me, True Mastery is BEING the sugar.

 

[Marquis]

New conclusion:

BI is only hot when the results are hot.

 

[graceanne]

New conclusion:

BI is only hot when the results are hot.

LOL

Dont' suppose you're going to clue us in on the story behind THAT comment?

 

[jadefirefly]

LOL

Dont' suppose you're going to clue us in on the story behind THAT comment?

I think what that means is, it's only hot when the participants are attractive girls.

 

[RJMasters]

A for graceanne just because I feel like it.

 

[graceanne]

A for graceanne just because I feel like it.

Thanks. *hugs*

 

[graceanne]

I think what that means is, it's only hot when the participants are attractive girls.

I think he means he tried it on someting else and didn't like the results.

I wanna know the details.

But then, I'm nosey like that.

 

[Marquis]

High risk high reward schemes only seem worth it when you get the reward. In a recent case, I was maybe ever so slightly careless with my sub and pushed her a little further out of her comfort zone than was my intention. I'm going to make it up to her, but more important I'm going to be more careful in the future.

BI is a wicked tool ladies and gentlemen, and the Dom who can call upon this wields a powerful weapon indeed.

 

[Netzach]

I think he means he tried it on someting else and didn't like the results.

I wanna know the details.

But then, I'm nosey like that.

Now now, just because you might wish a thing don't make it so.