Chain Story - Matchmaking for the Shy

[Devinter]

Version 1.0 of Chapter 2 is complete at just over 6k words, although there's already a bit of a checklist of "upgrades" and "ideas" that I've decided I need to implement. I'll add those, then email it to @joy_of_cooking within a few days - hopefully by Tuesday already - and once I've gotten feedback, and the seal of approval, I'll email the final version to everyone that wishes to take a look at it before I hit publish.

 

[Devinter]

I've completed the draft and emailed it to @joy_of_cooking , @mrs_mackenzie and to @Kelliezgirl

The final sex scene might still be extended a bit, but that should have no real impact on the plot. Appreciate any and all feedback.

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I've completed the draft and emailed it to @joy_of_cooking , @mrs_mackenzie and to @Kelliezgirl

The final sex scene might still be extended a bit, but that should have no real impact on the plot. Appreciate any and all feedback.

I have read it and will read it again today (I was pushed for time this morning) and respond in more detail to your email. Didn't think the final sex scene was too long at all. Really enjoyed it, honestly, especially finding out which directions you'd taken the characters in!

 

[TheRedChamber]

I'm a bit on the busy side this week, but it sounds like you've got enough eyes on it as is.

 

[Devinter]

"Matchmaking for the Shy Ch. 02" is now in pending status. I made basically no real changes in the end, in part due to limited time, but I'm fairly pleased with how the chapter turned out. Especially considering it was far more difficult than I had originally anticipated to try to follow in someone else's footsteps - doubly so with one as talented as @mrs_mackenzie I've never written this way before - a lot of characters being juggled, and without a clear end in sight - and it was certainly a valuable learning experience. I am looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here. Best of luck, Joy!

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Great work as always Devinter!
Can't wait to see where Joy takes it!

 

[Devinter]

Chapter 2 will be live tomorrow, the 24th. And it seems that @joy_of_cooking is already well underway with the third part as well. Wonderful!

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Chapter 2 will be live tomorrow, the 24th. And it seems that @joy_of_cooking is already well underway with the third part as well. Wonderful!

I am finding it very freeing not to need to bring the plot to a resolution. (Sorry, later writers. Good luck.)

 

[Devinter]

I am finding it very freeing not to need to bring the plot to a resolution. (Sorry, later writers. Good luck.)

It's funny you say that because it was the part I think I struggled with the most!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Could you email me the second chapter, @mrs_mackenzie? I want to start thinking about where characters might go (depending on where they've got to by the time I get to them at the end...l

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Could you email me the second chapter, @mrs_mackenzie? I want to start thinking about where characters might go (depending on where they've got to by the time I get to them at the end...l

Probably want @Devinter for the second chapter.

For mine,

1. Zach and Emma are the focus of my chapter. By the end, they are a couple, in a kind of female led relationship due to the age disparity, with hints of service oriented submission because Emma is totally overwhelmed and Zach has offer3ed of free time. Probably best not to write any more about them until you see what I've done.
2. Diane has signed up, to keep her brother company. (Devinter introduced her brother. They're very rich.)
3. Heather has a date lined up.
4. Brianna is settling into a routine of suggesting a 15 minute blind date over coffee to see if there's any chemistry, and then letting things take their course or not from there. But she's making it up as she goes along so no problem if you need her to take a more active role.
5. Jake has a bunch of interest for matchmaking services among his personal training clients, male and female.

 

[Devinter]

Could you email me the second chapter, @mrs_mackenzie? I want to start thinking about where characters might go (depending on where they've got to by the time I get to them at the end...l

Probably want @Devinter for the second chapter.

It'll be live in just a couple of hours if you can wait for the site to upload it. If not, send me a PM.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Right, I'm all caught up now. It's chugging a long well. I have noted that I'm struggling a bit being quite as 'up' on who everyone is when they're not my characters so I went through both parts and quickly made this set of notes which others might find useful. I'll keep them updated in future chapters. Any mistakes or omissions please let me know.

Characters in alphabetical order. Number in brackets represents the chapter they were first introduced.

[3] Amy - (mentioned only) A girl in Etta's class who wears glasses
[2] Bethany – Bereavement counselor at sessions attended by Emma.
[3] Bobby - (on video) Porn sub in Zach's video.
[2] Brent – attendee at bereavement counseling.
[1] Brianna Gold – owner of Coffee Pages and runner of dating service. Married to Charles.
[1] Caleb – (mentioned only) young son of Emma.
[3] Callia - Emma's oldest daughter
[2] Cassian – younger brother of Diane. Rich and a shut-in.
[1] Charles Gold – husband of Brianna.
[3] Christine - (mentioned only) A girl in Etta's class who wears glasses
[1] Damon – housemate of Zach.
[1] Diane - patron of Coffee Pages.
[1] Eric – (mentioned only) ex-husband of Heather.
[1] Emma – patron of Coffee Pages. Widowed via a car accident a few years ago. (42 yo 4 kids)
[3] Etta - Emma's daughter who doesn't like glasses.
[1] Gabriela – girlfriend of Damon
[1] Heather – patron of Coffee Pages. Divorcee from Eric.
[2] Helen – (mentioned only) Implied to be Brent’s new partner.
[2] Jake Donners – Zach’s gym buddy. Works in Charles’ office.
[3] Jonas - Emma's screen obsessed son.
[3] Mei Lin - (mentioned only) A girl in Etta's class who wears glasses
[2] Morgan – (mentioned only) Driver to either Diane or Cassian.
[3] Petra (Miss) - (on video) Porn actress doing sph and bdsm.
[2] Rosanne - (mentioned only) Implied to be Brent’s deceased wife.
[3] Shu Fen - (mentioned only) Emma's au pair.
[2] Vicky – a one-night stand for Cassian.
[1] Zach – recent graduate
[2] ??? Highland (Miss) – (mentioned only) secretary for Cassian

Chapter 1 – Ms_mackenzie

Scene 1: Heather contemplates her divorce and reads a spicy novel.
Scene 2: Brianna has discussion with Emma and then Heather in the coffee shop.
Scene 3: Charles and Brianna have fun and then discuss dating service.
Scene 4: Zach sees Gabriela’s sex toy.
Scene 5: Brianna gives Zach flier, and discusses Sparks of War with Diane.

Chapter 2 – Devinter

Scene 1: Heather fills in dating questionnaire.
Scene 2: Zach discussing dating with Jake.
Scene 3: Jake drops by the cafe to discuss Sparks of War with Brianna.
Scene 4: Diane tries to get Cassian to join CP Dating.
Scene 5: Zach realized Gabriela and Damon are using a sex toy.
Scene 6: Emma attends bereavement counselling.
Scene 7: Cassian sleeps with Vicky.

Chapter 3 - Joy_of_cooking
(Scene breakdown slightly less necessary for this one as it's a straight line rather than shifting perspectives - some also quite short, so I'm not being sarcastic with some of the descriptions, honest!)

Scene 1: Zach fills in form and watches fetish porn.
Scene 2: Emma parents and goes to coffee shop.
Scene 3: Emma dresses for date and parents some more
Scene 4: Emma and Zach meet at coffee shop
Scene 5: Brienne asks Heather to meet someone.
Scene 6: Emma and Zach get it on.
Scene 7: Emma and Zach get it on some more.
Scene 8: Post coital and shower
Scene 9: Break-up and leave.
Scene 10: Back together
Scene 11: Zach plays some vidya.
Scene 12: Emma dreams of little boys (amazed Laurel let that last paragraph through honests [shrug])

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I have a draft at 13k. I'd usually do more revisions before showing it to beta readers, but this feels like a more collaborative sort of writing so I'll ask if anyone's up for reading a rougher draft. I'm looking primarily for feedback about characterization (does this make sense for these people?) and pacing (does your interest remain piqued?)

DM me your email address (gmail if you have it) if you're game.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I'll have a look at it. You should have my e-mail address.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Too late. I started tweaking.

Thanks to everyone who contacted me. I'll send it along if I finish this round of edits.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Sent to everyone who volunteered. Thanks!

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Boy, that was fun! Hey, is the goal to bring things to a close in six chapters, or would people be interested in going on, round-robin, for longer?

 

[TheRedChamber]

Boy, that was fun! Hey, is the goal to bring things to a close in six chapters, or would people be interested in going on, round-robin, for longer?

Six chapters I'd say. If we want to do another chain story soon(ish) and if that chain story is a sequel, great.But to be successful we have to finish the thing.

Plus everyone should ideally be writing kmowing that they are working on act 2 part 1 of the story (or whatever)

 

[Devinter]

Six chapters I'd say. If we want to do another chain story soon(ish) and if that chain story is a sequel, great.But to be successful we have to finish the thing.

Plus everyone should ideally be writing kmowing that they are working on act 2 part 1 of the story (or whatever)

I fully agree with this opinion. Whilst I did greatly enjoy the challenge of this experience, I think it is important for the readers to have a conclusive (and hopefully satisfying) ending after the first six chapters. In fact, in the rules for what qualifies as a chain story, I believe it explicitly states that all parts needs to be planned out ahead of time. (As in, who will be writing which part, and publish under which approximate timeline).

I would not be opposed to doing another chain story afterwards, though. Or some other form of cooperative writing.

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I fully agree with this opinion. Whilst I did greatly enjoy the challenge of this experience, I think it is important for the readers to have a conclusive (and hopefully satisfying) ending after the first six chapters. In fact, in the rules for what qualifies as a chain story, I believe it explicitly states that all parts needs to be planned out ahead of time. (As in, who will be writing which part, and publish under which approximate timeline).

I would not be opposed to doing another chain story afterwards, though. Or some other form of cooperative writing.

I would absolutely be happy to write another chain story, but if we do, I'd love to change the order of writers. Going first was great but I would like to try following someone else's lead next time.

 

[TheRedChamber]

@joy_of_cooking @Kelliezgirl

It's been a couple of weeks since the last post on this thread. Just checking in with everyone to see how things are going.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I'm still totally here. Just waiting for chapter 1 and chapter 2 until it's my turn.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I'm still totally here. Just waiting for chapter 1 and chapter 2 until it's my turn.

I'm guessing the smile means this is a joke. If not, this is the other story!

Your guys are chatting a lot but not publishing anything (yet, there are rumblings)
Our group is getting stuff done but are momentarily a bit quiet.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I'm guessing the smile means this is a joke. If not, this is the other story!

Your guys are chatting a lot but not publishing anything (yet, there are rumblings)
Our group is getting stuff done but are momentarily a bit quiet.

Ah, sorry. Our thread was recently bumped so I guess I jumped the gun. :s