Challenge & Invitation: Self Portrait

[Selena_Kitt]

"It's been forever since I held hands with someone" Awww...

the grapefruit reference was kind of hot... so was the guitar playing

were you like Buffy, trying to catch a knife someone threw at your head?

Every man I've ever dated has been able to juggle... isn't that weird??

Great poem, Sal...

 

[Angeline]

Well, she is less than impressed.

Cant blame a bloke for trying (too hard)

Actually, I think it's excellent and really well-constructed.

I am both flattered that I could inspire someone to poetry and that my boyfriend got jealous that I did.

Sal, keep at the poetry--you have a knack for illustrated work.

eagleyez, I love you with all my heart and you know it. I'll even do the dinner dishes to prove it.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

were you like Buffy, trying to catch a knife someone threw at your head?

Ummm not at my head more at my chest but yeah. An old roommate was helping me develop my reflexes by randomly throwing things at me for me to catch. One day I came in the front door and he threw a ball point just as the door open and I narrowly missed it. I dodged rather than tryig to catch it so he said he was going to step up the exercises. The next day, it was a knife (not overly sharp but sharp-ish) and I batted it away rather than caught it but it was at least impressive enough to not get stuff thrown at me for a while.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Actually, I think it's excellent and really well-constructed.

I am both flattered that I could inspire someone to poetry and that my boyfriend got jealous that I did.

Sal, keep at the poetry--you have a knack for illustrated work.

eagleyez, I love you with all my heart and you know it. I'll even do the dinner dishes to prove it.

Thank you Angeline, both for the complimets and sparking an idea.

and eagleyez, if she's that talented and does dishes, you better hold on to her tight man!

 

[Angeline]

Thank you Angeline, both for the complimets and sparking an idea.

and eagleyez, if she's that talented and does dishes, you better hold on to her tight man!

Thanks gracious guy.

I'm holdin on tight, too. He made the dinner.

 

[annaswirls]

Ummm not at my head more at my chest but yeah. An old roommate was helping me develop my reflexes by randomly throwing things at me for me to catch. One day I came in the front door and he threw a ball point just as the door open and I narrowly missed it. I dodged rather than tryig to catch it so he said he was going to step up the exercises. The next day, it was a knife (not overly sharp but sharp-ish) and I batted it away rather than caught it but it was at least impressive enough to not get stuff thrown at me for a while.

omg that sounds like some character development thing my brothers used to do to me growing up, you know, like increasing my pain threshold and training me to escape from potential attackers....

there are other simple reflex exercizes you can try that will not put your eye out. My niece got so good she would reach down and catch minnows with her bare hands.

AND-- I liked the visual piece you did. You know where improvements can be made-- life is not about getting it perfect all the time-- glad you shared what you had.

 

[Sex and Death]

omg that sounds like some character development thing my brothers used to do to me growing up, you know, like increasing my pain threshold and training me to escape from potential attackers....

there are other simple reflex exercizes you can try that will not put your eye out. My niece got so good she would reach down and catch minnows with her bare hands.

Balisong, a Filipino knife and knife-fighting system is effective, as is sleight-of-hand magic and card tricks (previously mentioned).

If you put your eye out with either one, you're doing it wrong, and should practice more.

 

[Sex and Death]

Kudos, S&D. Granted I can get lost in introspection but I do like the challenge of putting myself out there now and again.


Maybe the next round should be "Self portraits squared: illustrated poems"

Salvor, your illustrated poem here is great, visually and poetically!

I wish I had time to do visual art again. Great challenge idea, though.

S&D

 

[Sex and Death]

I do everything in my own time.

Sabina, thank you for the glorious transpersonal late entry. Ever heard of artist Alex Grey? This poem reminds me of his paintings.

S&D

 

[Liar]

Liar…an existential epic ode to the contemporary postmodern deconstructionist structuralist construction!

Say that ten times fast.

 

[Sex and Death]

Say that ten times fast.

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that...

 

[Sex and Death]

Liar, your AV reminds me of one of my favorite "bad" jokes...

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Thanks gracious guy.

I'm holdin on tight, too. He made the dinner.

Oh definitely hold tight to that one!

 

[RhymeFairy]

How in the world did I miss this?

A great thread. Love the way everyone opened up and kinda let it all hang out. So much talent here ...

 

[DeepAsleep]

(This spiralled quickly out of control.)

I love the elipsis.
I like:
kittens, girls, pool, pools, beer, whiskey,
taking walks, going rollerblading,
reading when I should be
doing other things, writing,
sometimes I like talking,
though lately I've become more quiet.

I like cold Squirt in the morning,
because it's so goddam effer-fucking-vescent.
I like being right, and I'm still
learning to admit I'm wrong.
I go for the last word,
but I'm learning to keep my yap shut.

I don't trust people with
fashionable hair or tattoos that
were designed to look like
they mean something,
rather than actually having meaning.

I'm a smartass, and I take
very little seriously,
on the surface.

I hate your friend's band and
I am also not fond of yours.
I have infinite patience,
but it's all used up at the moment.
I'm anti-social, unless I'm out
with friends and then I'm a chatty fucker.
Or loquacious. Verbose.
I talk too fucking much and
I'm in love with myself for it. It's not you, it's me.

I wish it was the year of the bastard -
then I wouldn't feel bad for correcting
someone's grammar, pronunciation,
or the context in which they used a word.
It's not,
so I'm stuck being an asshole for
making people feel dum,
when all I want to do is vent my burning
need to hear their words right.
I'm a stickler. It's a bad habit.
You live with it, or you hate me for it.
It's for your own good, anyway.

Besides, you grow up with an English
teacher and an English professor and
come out of it without scars; I was obviously incapable.

I find that I don't like people, sometimes.
I'm overly judgemental, but
I have a large soft spot located
somewhere near my conscience,
which generally kicks me for being
such a judgemental asshole.
I'm comfortable with the balance this lends me.

I believe less than half of what you tell me,
which is a by-product of spending
too much time at Denny's.
No one goes to an all night coffee shop
to tell all the truth.

I do, however, believe in
a comfortably accessible God,
I believe in an aloof higher power,
I believe that football is both fun to watch and
boring to talk about.
I believe in the power of prayer,
but that God doesn't owe you a pony.
I believe in magic, if you can call
scraping by for one more week
the product of some arcane power.
I believe in dangling my participles, and
ending sentances with conjunctions,
because that's where it's at.

I believe in Democracy, Socialism, Communism,
and anything else you have the courage to really attempt.
I believe in not saying everything, to everyone, all the time.
I believe you can kill someone with the truth
as easily as set them free.

I believe in parking tickets and train rides
and sleeping late on Sunday.
I believe that you can follow your dreams
and that you can jump off a bridge.
I believe that intent is not the only source of evil.
I believe I was talking to you.
I believe you're not living up to your potential,
but it doesn't bother me because I'm not, either.

I believe that you're cool, now,
but were a better person in highschool,
when you thought you didn't have friends.
I believe that a girl who calls herself bisexual
isn't half as alluring as one who is well read.
I believe in warm summer rain and shutting up
and taking off your pants.
I believe that telling someone they're pretty
is the same as saying,
"Congratulations on winning the genetic lottery."
I believe complimenting something that a person
has control over is more real.

I believe in the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Shit, Is That Someone Famous?!
I believe in Gypsies and their power
to steal your wallet, watch, heart,
and anything else that isn't bolted down.
I believe in being kind to people
from other countries,
because *I* am the best PR America can buy.

I believe in cowboys and the women that stand by them,
I believe in following a good example,
if you have no idea what you're doing.
I believe that I talk too much,
but never say the exact right thing.
I believe that magic words don't exist,
unless they rhyme with 'I love you' and
even if I believe in the healing power of love,
I don't believe it conquers all,
because love isn't enough,
you have to have communication, trust,
and the ability to find the middle ground.
I believe that having similar goals, desires, and
interests doesn't hurt, either.
I believe in gay marriage,
I believe in spreading the misery,
I believe in a person's right to tell someone
else to fuck the fuck off, for fuck's fucking fuck.
I believe in cursing unneccessarily,
because it's only words and words can't hurt you
unless you let them.
I believe you're oversensitive,
and I believe in a reasonably priced sexual encounter
and how it can heal all wounds,
unless you contract a disease,
in which case it's your own fault for paying for sex.
I believe in accepting consequences and
not using the fact that you know what you're doing
as an excuse to do it anyway.

I believe in you, and I think you're wonderful,
but I'd like to believe you didn't need me to tell you that.

I believe I'm done, here.