NoJo
Happily Marred
- Joined
- May 19, 2002
- Posts
- 15,397
Oysers
Once I was sitting alone in an oyster Bar in New York while there on business, feeling lonely and horny. I remember the barman looked and acted exactly like Ted Danson from Cheers. Two very beautiful women sat next to me and ordered a Fondue. I'd never seen a Fondue before and asked the woman next me what it was. When she offered me some, I answer in my typical slightly drunk, don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think way, "No thanks, it looks like sperm on a stick." (Richard Feynmann is my role model).
The woman replied, "I wouldn't know, I've don't eat sperm."
Then they completely froze me. So I thought, fuck-em, couple of dykes with attitude and no sense of humor, mutter mutter, and resumed my chat with Ted Danson.
But I was wrong about them having an attitude (though not about being dykes) , because when their plate of oysters arrived, the nearest one held one right up to me and said "try one. It tastes like pussy."
I said "I wouldn't know, I don't eat pussy." This got us talking. They were in fact a couple of prostitutes (I wasn't interested), and we ended up having a fun time in that bar once they realized I wasn't a potential "trick".
Walking back to my hotel, replaying the evening, as one does, I realized I should have said to the woman, "I wouldn't know, I've never tasted oysters." That would have had kept the sexual tension going.
(I still haven't tasted oysters: In a thread here, I asked whether they actually taste like pussy, and someone (MathGirl) posted the "better" comeback).
Once I was sitting alone in an oyster Bar in New York while there on business, feeling lonely and horny. I remember the barman looked and acted exactly like Ted Danson from Cheers. Two very beautiful women sat next to me and ordered a Fondue. I'd never seen a Fondue before and asked the woman next me what it was. When she offered me some, I answer in my typical slightly drunk, don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think way, "No thanks, it looks like sperm on a stick." (Richard Feynmann is my role model).
The woman replied, "I wouldn't know, I've don't eat sperm."
Then they completely froze me. So I thought, fuck-em, couple of dykes with attitude and no sense of humor, mutter mutter, and resumed my chat with Ted Danson.
But I was wrong about them having an attitude (though not about being dykes) , because when their plate of oysters arrived, the nearest one held one right up to me and said "try one. It tastes like pussy."
I said "I wouldn't know, I don't eat pussy." This got us talking. They were in fact a couple of prostitutes (I wasn't interested), and we ended up having a fun time in that bar once they realized I wasn't a potential "trick".
Walking back to my hotel, replaying the evening, as one does, I realized I should have said to the woman, "I wouldn't know, I've never tasted oysters." That would have had kept the sexual tension going.
(I still haven't tasted oysters: In a thread here, I asked whether they actually taste like pussy, and someone (MathGirl) posted the "better" comeback).
