Civility. Where has it gone?

[FL30]

To many people that think the world revolves around them, not realizing that they only matter to their mother and nobody else cares about them.

 

[hawi13]

I still see a lot of civility but it does seem like the non civil are louder than they used to be! Making a scene is no longer a bad thing.

 

[girlsmiley]

Eh, I'm sure every generation thinks "the kids these days" are losing social checkers. My mom complained about my generation, and I know my grandpa complained about hers. It's a never ending wheel, you get older and stop acting like a fool, idiot. Or at least you think you do. I do agree, that people in my generation are a bunch of assholes, but, I can be as well. I really don't know if it's any different than it was in times past, just a lot more coverage. Social media, fake news or not, people all think that their needs are greater than someone else's. It's nature. It's inherently our relationship with the world. Survive the best you can. I like to think of myself as kind, observant and very empathetic, that doesn't mean others see me as the same. Especially, those who don't know me. I can be gruff, intimidating and quiet. I know that because people who get to know me say that's the way I present. Not my intentions, I don't think I'm those things at all.

I totally get seeing others be entitled, jackasses, morons and very self centered. Some of them actually are, and some are not. Some maybe going through a very rough time and are acting out, like children. I also see younger people being very generous, courteous and caring. I know my daughter's are. Kind of what I'm most proud of, they are good people and surround themselves by other good people.

Who knows? I could be way off and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I let others worry about that, I can only control my actions. Still, it doesn't keep me from calling out shitty behavior. I have no idea if they are listening or not. As far as they're concerned, I'm the fuck wit.

It’s all the progressive devil’s music kids listen to these days. It’s driving them mental.

*Hides Taylor Swift collection*

 

[hawi13]

It’s all the progressive devil’s music kids listen to these days. It’s driving them mental.

*Hides Taylor Swift collection*

She does seem like a bad influence!

 

[Debbie]

You may not be alone but hey, don’t let that stop you. Actually the number of people willing to engage in any kind of discourse, civil or not, is diminishing. Now most people are armed and willing to shoot in order to settle disputes. We are headed towards a new Middle Ages when violence was the order of the day. My advice is to load up and spend some time at the shooting range.

I bought a water pistol instead. Is it assault if you squirt water at uncivilized people?

Asking for a friend.

 

[girlsmiley]

She does seem like a bad influence!

What if Taylor Swift became the president of the United States?

You wouldn’t even think about giving her the side eye because she would sic her Swifties on you.

 

[hawi13]

What if Taylor Swift became the president of the United States?

You wouldn’t even think about giving her the side eye because she would sic her Swifties on you.

Nope, can't get on the Swifties bad side!

 

[Escierto]

What if Taylor Swift became the president of the United States?

You wouldn’t even think about giving her the side eye because she would sic her Swifties on you.

We could do a lot worse than Taylor Swift as president. In fact we have done a lot worse.

 

[girlsmiley]

We could do a lot worse than Taylor Swift as president. In fact we have done a lot worse.

Don’t we all know it lol

 

[SloBlo69]

On the drive to work I see dozens of examples of road rage a day. It used to be 1 or 2 a month.

When shopping for groceries, I see nothing but people who feel entitled. The old adage "The customer is always right" seems to empower most shoppers in the worst ways. I used to shop and the only screaming I heard were from kids. Now it's the adults.

Restaurants are the worst. My daughter was on wait staff for a couple of years and the stories she told me were so disappointing. People demanding 5-star service in a chain restaurant, people taking their anger out on wait staff if the food isn't right, people trying to make moral judgments in their tipping.

These are a few examples. Again my question, where has civility gone?

Yeah, the arrogance & disrespect are like next level, compassion for fellow human is so rare, its heartbreaking. Seems the entire world is on a swords edge & can't wait 2 snap @ the 1st available victim, sadly, almost always somehow they pick on the weak

 

[y=mx+b]

Billionaires bought up all the civility and have been using it to sway judges and politicians to orchestrate the masses.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I didn't take it.

 

[Lilymoon89]

On the drive to work I see dozens of examples of road rage a day. It used to be 1 or 2 a month.

When shopping for groceries, I see nothing but people who feel entitled. The old adage "The customer is always right" seems to empower most shoppers in the worst ways. I used to shop and the only screaming I heard were from kids. Now it's the adults.

Restaurants are the worst. My daughter was on wait staff for a couple of years and the stories she told me were so disappointing. People demanding 5-star service in a chain restaurant, people taking their anger out on wait staff if the food isn't right, people trying to make moral judgments in their tipping.

These are a few examples. Again my question, where has civility gone?

People just suck in todays world. It’s so infuriating. It takes little to no effort to be kind, to say hello or help someone by opening a door or grabbing something high off a shelf. I try but it’s hard because people are just so self absorbed in their own shit they think they are the only ones that matter and everyone else is out to get them. Just do better! End rant

 

[Debbie]

I think some people are just miserable and take it out on others.

Sad really if being an asshole to somebody makes you feel powerful or better about how shitty your own life is.

It is a choice how we behave towards others.

Politicians who badmouth each other to "score" political points are beyond childish.

In my eyes it diminishes who they are as a person and as a representative of their political party.

 

[Chernosoth]

Several factors have combined. Civility is a part of civilization. Civilizations get old and die. Ours is very near the end. Modern social isolation started with suburban sprawl. We are now more isolated in suburban houses with television and internet than farmers were in preindustrial civilization spread out on their farms. And the rest is PB material.

 

[pink]

It's still out there, you just have to look really really hard to see it.

 

[Escierto]

I think some people are just miserable and take it out on others.

Sad really if being an asshole to somebody makes you feel powerful or better about how shitty your own life is.

It is a choice how we behave towards others.

Politicians who badmouth each other to "score" political points are beyond childish.

In my eyes it diminishes who they are as a person and as a representative of their political party.

Yet results show that the candidate who is willing to badmouth does the best. One guy in particular is like a God to his followers and they love it when he engages in badmouthing everyone else. He is the most popular politician in the US and will probably become the country’s first dictator in 2024. Civility? It’s finished!

 

[Debbie]

Imagine if politicians were held responsible for their "verbal assaults".

I am not talking about a politician calling someone from an opposing political party a buffoon or insulting their intelligence.

I mean verbal assault. Harassing. Intimidating. Yelling in someones face. Verbal threats etc.

Going beyond uncivilized behavior.

 

[ronde]

On the drive to work I see dozens of examples of road rage a day. It used to be 1 or 2 a month.

When shopping for groceries, I see nothing but people who feel entitled. The old adage "The customer is always right" seems to empower most shoppers in the worst ways. I used to shop and the only screaming I heard were from kids. Now it's the adults.

Restaurants are the worst. My daughter was on wait staff for a couple of years and the stories she told me were so disappointing. People demanding 5-star service in a chain restaurant, people taking their anger out on wait staff if the food isn't right, people trying to make moral judgments in their tipping.

These are a few examples. Again my question, where has civility gone?

This isn't a new thing. It's been happening for decades. I think at least some of the cause is unfulfilled expectations.

"If you want to earn a decent living you have to go to college." Well guess what, the people who told you that forgot to mention that it depends upon the degree. STEM degrees generally have jobs that pay pretty well. They also forgot to mention that there aren't a lot of high-paying jobs open for people with Liberal Arts degrees, at least for new graduates.

"My parents told me I could do anything I want in life, but other people keep getting in my way." I think in a misguided attempt to boost a child's ego, parents have forgotten to teach one basic lesson of life. Reality will always take precedence over your personal desires. To cope, you have to learn how to temper your expectations with the reality around you.

"I want everybody to like me, but a lot of people don't seem to care about me at all." The reaction to this can quickly become, "Since they don't like me, I hate everything they like and believe" for some people. Again this is a failure to be able to face reality.

None of these really border on mental illness that would require therapy for most people other than getting old enough to understand life. Most do. The few who either can't or won't are the bad actors mentioned in the posts above. It's just the 24/7 news cycle and social media that point out the few and make it seem as if the entire country has gone off the deep end.

 

[stickygirl]

Civility still exists in quiet places, behind the backs of assholes when you make eye contact with a waitress or check-out person and give them a smile and a mouthed TY. There's an intimacy to those moments and I know they make that person's day that little bit better - that they were seen a person and thanked.

For the rest we have to look upward for examples of childish politics - acting out temper tantrums in Congress or White House. We need to look down too, to how we use social media, that has removed accountability and responsibility.

There were always financial pressures - ask an old person, but when a person ranted and screamed it wasn't transmitted to 3 billion people on Twitter.

 

[Escierto]

This isn't a new thing. It's been happening for decades. I think at least some of the cause is unfulfilled expectations.

"If you want to earn a decent living you have to go to college." Well guess what, the people who told you that forgot to mention that it depends upon the degree. STEM degrees generally have jobs that pay pretty well. They also forgot to mention that there aren't a lot of high-paying jobs open for people with Liberal Arts degrees, at least for new graduates.

"My parents told me I could do anything I want in life, but other people keep getting in my way." I think in a misguided attempt to boost a child's ego, parents have forgotten to teach one basic lesson of life. Reality will always take precedence over your personal desires. To cope, you have to learn how to temper your expectations with the reality around you.

"I want everybody to like me, but a lot of people don't seem to care about me at all." The reaction to this can quickly become, "Since they don't like me, I hate everything they like and believe" for some people. Again this is a failure to be able to face reality.

None of these really border on mental illness that would require therapy for most people other than getting old enough to understand life. Most do. The few who either can't or won't are the bad actors mentioned in the posts above. It's just the 24/7 news cycle and social media that point out the few and make it seem as if the entire country has gone off the deep end.

Half the country wants to kill the other half so yes, it has gone off the deep end. Already people are migrating between states in a process similar to ethnic cleansing. Eventually people will only live in places where everyone has the same ideas about what constitutes a just society. Some of these places will be ruled by the Christian Taliban and others by sensible people.

 

[Viperfixer]

Interesting topic. I retired recently and noticed that going to work at 5 am I got passed by folks doing 90-100 mph. CHP did nothing. Shop lifting is legal here in California. Shops loose thousands a day, nothing is done about it. When people know that can get away will shit without getting arrested they will do bad things. Also I noticed these kind of people were never taught how to be a good American, and what that means. We live in the greatest country since the Roman Empire and people act like they are in mid evil times. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Escierto]

In Texas if you are a white man, you can kill anyone for the slightest provocation and nothing will happen to you. Someone comes into your driveway to turn around, you can kill them (actually happened). Someone comes into your yard looking for a ball, you can kill them (again, actually happened). Someone comes to your house to complain about something and then as they leave, you can shoot them in the back as they are going away (again actually happened). The rule here is don’t talk to anyone if you can help it. It’s the Wild West - you better be locked and loaded!

 

[John Doe]

On the drive to work I see dozens of examples of road rage a day. It used to be 1 or 2 a month.

When shopping for groceries, I see nothing but people who feel entitled. The old adage "The customer is always right" seems to empower most shoppers in the worst ways. I used to shop and the only screaming I heard were from kids. Now it's the adults.

Restaurants are the worst. My daughter was on wait staff for a couple of years and the stories she told me were so disappointing. People demanding 5-star service in a chain restaurant, people taking their anger out on wait staff if the food isn't right, people trying to make moral judgments in their tipping.

These are a few examples. Again my question, where has civility gone?

Well, the saying in full is "the customer is always right in matters of taste", but people who want to behave like entitled dicks like to forget/ignore that last part.

 

[Debbie]

I got called c#nt waffle today because a well dressed young man complained to his waitress in a coffee shop that his latte was like luke warm piss.

I was at the table next to the jerk. I said:

"Mate could you rephrase your complaint? It's a bit crass."

So he called me a c#nt waffle and told me to mind my own business.

I laughed.

"Is that the best you could come up with you little twerp?"

His friends laughed and he got really mad. Stood up. Shoved his chair back. Left some cash on the table and stormed out.

Only to return 1 minute later with a red face. Grabbed his ph off the table and stomped away again.