Cock Talk

[Photog1rl]

I can tell this is a sensitive subject for you. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you. I think we all are vulnerable when we share but that sharing helps us all learn. It is, of course, a sensitive subject and I knowingly chose to share.
This is not a woe-is-me post. It is just a reminder that we are all missing something. For me, I look at why folks are on Lit and it is almost always to fill a void of some kind. My reasons have changed while I’ve been here but they are not uniquely mine. I choose to share so we can all feel comfortable opening up.

 

[Dionysian Beast]

Thank you. I think we all are vulnerable when we share but that sharing helps us all learn. It is, of course, a sensitive subject and I knowingly chose to share.
This is not a woe-is-me post. It is just a reminder that we are all missing something. For me, I look at why folks are on Lit and it is almost always to fill a void of some kind. My reasons have changed while I’ve been here but they are not uniquely mine. I choose to share so we can all feel comfortable opening up.

I just wanted to say that I read your posts here and you did the brave thing by sharing your vulnerability and clear feelings. And you were right by saying that the response you received came across as judgmental and negative.
So thanks for sharing all this, your feelings are quite valid and you are seen.

 

[Apisto42]

All horned up and no place to blow

Nice. Scoot that ass forward and breakfast lunch and dinner is served.

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

No clue, but orgasms are great for mental health no matter what your danglies are.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

At least a few times a week. I get very cranky and generally out of sorts if not frequent enough.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

I’m a whiny bitch.

Do cold showers work?

No.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Usually sex. But if I have time and some good reading material and edge that peak? Solo can be really intense.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

NA. Though it’s been a while for medical reasons, so I’ve just taken care of it on the sly.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually just the same, but variety is nice. Switching hands is always novel, but doesn’t get me off.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Hell yeah. One with nature indeed.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

Nope.

From the Harvard Ejaculation Study:

“The scientists found no evidence that frequent ejaculations mark an increased risk of prostate cancer. In fact, the reverse was true: High ejaculation frequency was linked to a decreased risk. Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. And the results held up to rigorous statistical evaluation even after other lifestyle factors and the frequency of PSA testing were taken into account.”

Hell yeah. I should be good to go.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

I did a quick PubMed search for "physical benefits to female orgasm". No luck there. It was mostly articles on treatments for women with "sexual dysfunction".

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

It depends on my mood. When I'm feeling good, at least several times a week if not daily. If I'm depressed or anxious, I might not be interested at all.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

I guess it depends on the circumstances. And what is meant by "can't orgasm". If the circumstance is intermittent anorgasmia due to medication side effects and I can't reach an orgasm, I try to focus on the pleasure I experienced throughout the situation and not hold orgasm up as the end all be all reason for sexual touch. If I am messaging with someone and can't orgasm because my husband is working from home, I let that need and desire simmer for when I can.

Do cold showers work?

I've never tried this myself, but wouldn't think so.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Generally, when masturbating... which comprises the vast majority of my sex life.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

I don't hide the fact that I masturbate, but I tend to prefer doing it when I'm home alone or he's gone to bed for the night.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually the same general position, unless I'm told to do otherwise. I'm much more creative with a partner. I suppose I should give myself the same consideration.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Yes, but it's been ages.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

Probably, but my options at the moment are a bit limited.

 

[Bbl87]

[
According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

I won't claim to know, but I'm sure regular orgasms are good for mental health.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

Almost daily. I used to be daily or multiple times a day, but that has fluctuated a waned a little bit lately. Don't know if it's meds, mental health, stress, etc.. Still often, just not quite as urgent.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

Distract myself with my hobbies.

Do cold showers work?

Never tried one for that.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Usually having sex. However, I've found if I'm recording something for a friend it is more intense. And even moreso if someone is watching and/or participating live.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

I do it on the sly. Usually before she comes to bed, but sometimes when she's next to me.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually, I don't require much creativity there, haha.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Not that I can recall.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

More than I want to be for sure. But I really don't have another option. Especially with her thinking she might be going through perimenopause, I might end up even more reliant on it.

Both. I will often masturbate after sex because I didn’t orgasm during. Sometimes he wants to be involved but usually I am on my own. Why hide that.

Same position if I’m using a toy and solo . If I’m being directed or playing with an online partner the position and activity can vary.

Same on both of these.

Though I'm told to make sure I cum first because she "won't have the energy" so it kinda makes it my fault. Though I will say, at least the last few times, we have been able to keep going long enough for me to finish, so maybe she's turning over a new leaf.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Orgasms help with cramp relief and I believe headache but now I’m intrigued. There must be more reasons.

They only temporarily help me with cramps and I find they come back stronger not long afterwards. So I usually take pain meds, then orgasm. Order of operations is very important

And they make my migraines WAY worse, so that’s my hard pass when it comes to orgasm willingness.

Plus, I'm not an angsty bitch if I get them regularly.

Yes, this is the primary benefit for me

Last year my spouse came home from his urologist with a prescription for bi-weekly orgasms. Best script I've ever seen!

Please tell me this was a written prescription! And that you framed it. Or made it part of your holiday card updates.

I’m only a tiny bit kidding

Of course. Horses for courses and all that.

I have always been - I've got a headache. Orgasm will help. Period cramps, orgasm will help... even if you need to be more gentle with sex etc... but .. it can still feel good. But that's me.

So orgasms are your Windex?


As far as a “go to” health aid, it’s the best I’ve heard of

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Not all girls want to have sex on their period. Sometimes just snuggling in bed with a heating pad is fun.

If I’m in a lot of pain or really sick (period or otherwise), I’m not in the mood for sex, solo or partnered. I just want to be left alone.

If I’m not feeling like death, then I admit I don’t necessarily want to deal with the mess of period sex. Oh, I’ve thrown towels down or taken it to the shower and not thought anything of it, but my preferred approach is just anal sex instead. I enjoy the variety

Some men are so squeamishly pathetic.

I’ve thankfully not come across many in this camp. If I was in the mood to fuck and they refused because I had my period? It would be a very short lived relationship. I mean, I’m not expecting oral sex, but there are plenty of ways to enjoy not messy period sex.

 

[Wand3rlust]

To be fair, some women are squeamish about it as well.

 

[Bbl87]

To be fair, some women are squeamish about it as well.

Ya, my wife is a hard pass. I think we've done it maybe twice, and both times were because she was uncontrollably horny. I need to figure out the secret to that...

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can only speak from personal experience.

Yes. I consider myself a pleasure seeker. While an orgasm is the end goal it does not need to be mine. Also, I love to edge and let things build. If the situation does not allow for me to have an orgasm I willl work to get a partner there.

The point here was that if I want to orgasm but couldn't taking a cold shower wouldn't help because then I could just play and cum in the shower.

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't
imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience.

We used to have a very satisfying sex life where we both cared about each others pleasure. That is not always the case now. If he is only focused on his pleasure I don't want him involved.

Yep. That is what I am saying. And yep it feels as fucked up and shitty as it sounds.

Why the heck should I hide or leave my space because he doesn't care or I don't want him involved.

I want to take the time to address something that is bothering me. Again, I know this is a sensitive topic for me and I have chosen to share but your comments, about me and others, feel slightly judgemental and or
mansplainy. I don't think you mean them to but please remember there are real people sharing openly and honestly on the other side of the screen.

I love you, lady

These discussions have left me in equal states of "yuck" and rage this morning.

I see you and share your pain

 

[aussiegeekygal]

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this?
**Jumps on soap box about just how truly under represented women are in scientific studies**
Women don't have prostates.
We know (very little) about estrogen's role in cardiovascular and osteopathic health. I'd be willing to put money on orgasms increasing estrogen, but again... It hasn't been studied

Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?
Colloquially; yes.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?
Normal is subjective.
No-one NEEDS to orgasm. It's not a biological imperative. Unlike eating and sleeping, one will not die if they don't cum.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?
Acceptance and another go later?

Do cold showers work?
Cold water is proven to be very regulating to our sensory systems

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?
They're different. I really enjoy sex orgasms mainly for all the additional simulations; touch, intimacy, eye contact, the feel of some one else's breath, etc.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?
I masturbated on my own. Masturbating next to someone really isn't "sexless". There's still passive participation there...

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?
Mix it up.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?
Yes

Are you too reliant on masturbation?
No

 

[Chatomatic]

I had no idea!

And it isnt always the same one hanging lower!!

 

[Endless_Night]

But is there a female equivalent to this?

Benefits, yes. Cancer prevention?

Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

Hormone production, strengthens the pelvic floor, and I think I remember reading it’s good for the cardiovascular system.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

I mean, Ideally? Once a day or more, but the stars rarely align for that in my universe.

(More like the regularity of the surface explosion on T Coronae Borealis. )

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

My ability to ignore is pretty amazing.

Do cold showers work?

Based on recent personal research - temporarily. But they’re supposed to be great for the immune system!

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Are we including phone sex as sex?

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

Privacy. Definitely.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

I am a creature of habit. Besides, what works, works.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Nope.

---

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

Nope.

No-one NEEDS to orgasm. It's not a biological imperative. Unlike eating and sleeping, one will not die if they don't.

I said this to someone recently. A male. His response:

“No, you only know that YOU won’t die.”

Umm. Okay.

 

[Endless_Night]

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience.

I’ve experienced this when trying to talk about the difficulties of my specific type of sexual submission on the board.

Invariably, there is push back on how it shouldn’t be that way or suggestions on how to fix.

It. Is. Maddening.

I end up feeling defensive. Which not only do I loathe, but also shuts down my openness to further discussion.

*solidarity chest bump*

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

My ability to ignore is pretty amazing.

My ability to focus and tune out things is pretty legendary. But I do notice I’m less patient and more cranky even when I successfully ignore.

So there are clearly side effects of successfully ignoring for me

I said this to someone recently. A male. His response:

“No, you only know that YOU won’t die.”

Umm. Okay.

I wonder if I could guess in one try who said this?

 

[LadyLascivious1]

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't
imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience

Invariably, there is push back on how it shouldn’t be that way or suggestions on how to fix.

It. Is. Maddening.

I end up feeling defensive. Which not only do I loathe, but also shuts down my openness to further discussion.

I’m so glad you both spoke up about feeling this way. Sometimes I read certain replies one way and they bother me, but I don’t want to assume the person they’re responding to automatically feels the same way about it as I do. And no one should feel defensive when they’re being authentic and vulnerable.

I appreciate you both sharing everything you do.

 

[Photog1rl]

I love you, lady

These discussions have left me in equal states of "yuck" and rage this morning.

I see you and share your pain

I’ve experienced this when trying to talk about the difficulties of my specific type of sexual submission on the board.

Invariably, there is push back on how it shouldn’t be that way or suggestions on how to fix.

It. Is. Maddening.

I end up feeling defensive. Which not only do I loathe, but also shuts down my openness to further discussion.

*solidarity chest bump*

I’m so glad you both spoke up about feeling this way. Sometimes I read certain replies one way and they bother me, but I don’t want to assume the person they’re responding to automatically feels the same way about it as I do. And no one should feel defensive when they’re being authentic and vulnerable.

I appreciate you both sharing everything you do.

I appreciate all of you for your comments on this. Being seen and understood means a lot. I know I'm an über over sharer and I own that but the defensive feeling is not something I enjoy.
Communication can be challenging in this format but if I assume everyone has good intentions and speak up when it feels bad it is best for me.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Switching hands is always novel, but doesn’t get me off.

This doesn’t work for me at all. My left hand is like the nerdiest virgin from another planet. You would think he never touched a dick before! Inept, he’s totally inept.
Now my right hand, he’s a filthy whore.

Unlike eating and sleeping, one will not die if they don't cum.

But may kill.

Are we including phone sex as sex?

Only if you’re talking about one of those really old phones that you have to crank, and ask Mable to connect you to Clearview 537.

“No, you only know that YOU won’t die.”

This wasn’t me was it?

I wonder if I could guess in one try who said this?

I wonder if it was me too. I hope not!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I wonder if it was me too. I hope not!

You would not be my guess if that helps?

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this?

Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

Well I thought that’s why women in the late 19th century would visit their doctor to treat their female hysteria, with symptoms such as anxiety, shortness of breath, fluid retention, nervousness, fainting, sleeplessness…you name it. He’d kindly “manually stimulate then to orgasm”. Thank goodness those doctors could help cure those ills!

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

Sometimes it’s a lot. Like when I’m stressed, it’s a lot. Other times it’s not as much, but I’d be game- I just won’t be the one coming up with the idea.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

Take a walk. Distract myself. Go do something else. Cook. Clean. Do work. Put on music. Go for a drive. Put together furniture. Do laundry. Put away laundry. Declutter the house. Tell the kids to clean their rooms. Clean my own room…

Do cold showers work?

No. Now I’m horny AND pissed off.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Usually when masturbating. But there were times when sex has been mind blowing but that hasn’t been for a very long time. (But I remember )

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

I’m discreet.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Depends on the time and privacy I have. When I had more of each, I was able to do different things. I don’t have much time or privacy now so it doesn’t vary much right now.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Yes

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

No. Just reliant enough.

 

[Apisto42]

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this?
**Jumps on soap box about just how truly under represented women are in scientific studies**
Women don't have prostates.
We know (very little) about estrogen's role in cardiovascular and osteopathic health. I'd be willing to put money on orgasms increasing estrogen, but again... It hasn't been studied

Agreed

Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?
Colloquially; yes.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?
Normal is subjective.
No-one NEEDS to orgasm. It's not a biological imperative. Unlike eating and sleeping, one will not die if they don't cum.

I think I might die if I don’t get a nut fairly soon. Why don’t you send me some tiddies to help things along?

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?
Acceptance and another go later?

Do cold showers work?
Cold water is proven to be very regulating to our sensory systems

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?
They're different. I really enjoy sex orgasms mainly for all the additional simulations; touch, intimacy, eye contact, the feel of some one else's breath, etc.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?
I masturbated on my own. Masturbating next to someone really isn't "sexless". There's still passive participation there...

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?
Mix it up.

You could add a log of activities you’re doing to your self exploration thread.

“Day 34: ankles strapped in to bar, winched myself to hang, dropped the lube though, might need help.”

Have you ever masturbated in nature?
Yes

It’s the best.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?
No

 

[Endless_Night]

My ability to focus and tune out things is pretty legendary. But I do notice I’m less patient and more cranky even when I successfully ignore.

So there are clearly side effects of successfully ignoring for me

Oh, I’m not saying lack of doesn’t make me cranky, impatient, and monstrous to be around.

More they’re less side effects and more my continuous state at this point.

I’m so glad you both spoke up about feeling this way. Sometimes I read certain replies one way and they bother me, but I don’t want to assume the person they’re responding to automatically feels the same way about it as I do. And no one should feel defensive when they’re being authentic and vulnerable.

I appreciate you both sharing everything you do.

I should probably add that as a general rule, I don’t mind clarifying questions or even discussion if the subject is on the table. It’s the rush to critique and judge I find galling.

What’s particularly boggling (in my case) is the culprits are so often other people into power exchange. People, who by any logical dictate, should be less captious.

 

[Endless_Night]

“No, you only know that YOU won’t die.”

I wonder if I could guess in one try who said this?

This wasn’t me was it?

It was not you!

You would not be my guess if that helps?

But I totally thought you meant him, too!

 

[hotwords229_A]

It was not you!


But I totally thought you meant him, too!

I’m just happy to be innocent for once.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I’m just happy to be innocent for once.

maybe not guilty but innocent?