Cock Talk

[aussiegeekygal]

I can . . . see that.

And a situation that would help me dig deeper, yet be infinitely terrifying.

It was SO HARD to start that conversation.

He was wonderful about it and really helped me examine why I attach myself to certain traits within people.

I remember when I first started with him being really worried he'd develop a crush on me and then having to navigate those dynamics. Now I can see just how much I've been policing myself and others based on belief systems that don't serve me. As my favorite T-shirt reads: women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I would much prefer a man, but had doors closed at every turn, and was told unequivocally that men see men, and women see woman.

Ew.

That's some patriarchal bullshit right there

 

[Endless_Night]

I would much prefer a man, but had doors closed at every turn, and was told unequivocally that men see men, and women see woman.

Ew.

That's some patriarchal bullshit right there

I get a lot of body work. Shiatsu, aromatherapy, Thai, deep tissue, that sort of thing.

'Tis ah-mazing how few men are willing to be worked on by other men. By far the most common response. Women tend to be more open, though there are a few who don't want male therapists.

I mean, does it matter? Generally speaking, massage or body work isn't sexual.

I will admit to preferring male therapists for deep tissue. They're usually stronger and can deliver more pressure.

ETA: Random target.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Ew.

That's some patriarchal bullshit right there

My thoughts exactly. And, having been assaulted in the last, and having been blamed for sexual harassment in the past, or at least the guy(s) had excuses made for them, it just made me feel dirty and reinforced the false belief that there is something about me that drives "good" men to do bad.

If I ever seek this kind of therapy again, which I likely won't, I'll insist on a man.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Have you ever gone to a sex therapist? Would you go if you haven’t?

No. I'd love to.

Would you be able to be completely honest with them if you went? (Obviously it won’t work if you’re not, but would you really be able to be totally honest?)

Yes. I'm very open about things in real life, so I can't imagine I would be any different in a therapy situation.

Would you prefer the opposite sex or same sex therapist? Why?

I don't think I'd care.

Would you be more likely to consult a therapist if it was anonymous online?

no, in person would be best for me.

Would you like your partner to go to one?

N/A

Would you prefer to go together?

N/A

Do you think sex therapy works or are you skeptical?

You get out of it what you put in.

How does one go about finding a good sex therapist?

I'll give you my number.... *ahem*

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My thoughts exactly. And, having been assaulted in the last, and having been blamed for sexual harassment in the past, or at least the guy(s) had excuses made for them, it just made me feel dirty and reinforced the false belief that there is something about me that drives "good" men to do bad.

If I ever seek this kind of therapy again, which I likely won't, I'll insist on a man.

Yeah. I completely understand.

Both in the understanding that you'll likely not seek this kind of therapy again, and the deep understanding of why you want what you want.

God, when therapy goes bad, it can actually do some serious damage. I'm lucky to have had mostly positive experiences, but that one bad one at the hands of someone not skilled in a way that we needed fucking destroyed parts of my self worth.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Yeah. I completely understand.

Both in the understanding that you'll likely not seek this kind of therapy again, and the deep understanding of why you want what you want.

God, when therapy goes bad, it can actually do some serious damage. I'm lucky to have had mostly positive experiences, but that one bad one at the hands of someone not skilled in a way that we needed fucking destroyed parts of my self worth.

I feel this. My first two therapy experiences were against my will and they were with people who were:
1) too religious (and jaded) to have an objective take
2) admitted that their job was to prescribe meds

But luckily I have a functioning brain cell or two that caught on to their game. PM me if your therapist is taking new clients and wants to help people over profits

 

[Endless_Night]

God, when therapy goes bad, it can actually do some serious damage. I'm lucky to have had mostly positive experiences, but that one bad one at the hands of someone not skilled in a way that we needed fucking destroyed parts of my self worth.

Maybe I'll skip the therapy. My sexual being is fragile enough. I need no hits.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Maybe I'll skip the therapy. My sexual being is fragile enough. I need no hits.

Mine was couple's therapy, but yeah...

 

[summer_reine]

Have you ever gone to a sex therapist?
Yes, it didn't help.
Would you go if you haven’t?
I wouldn't go again.
Would you be able to be completely honest with them if you went? (Obviously it won’t work if you’re not, but would you really be able to be totally honest?)
I was with the woman, not with the man.
Would you prefer the opposite sex or same sex therapist? Why?
Same sex. I tried a male therapist because I thought it might help sort of desensitize me but couldn't switch out of fawn mode and I felt his irritation/frustration. Never again.
Would you be more likely to consult a therapist if it was anonymous online?
I haven't considered that, might try.
Would you like your partner to go to one?
Nah, I was the problem not him.
Would you prefer to go together?
Tried that too, he got mad when it was more centered on my shit and how he wasn't making it easier to overcome.
Do you think sex therapy works or are you skeptical?
I think it would definitely help some people. Therapy can be a really useful tool with the right person to talk to and being completely open to honest conversations that hurt.
How does one go about finding a good sex therapist?
If you know an answer that doesn't cost a fortune please tell me.

 

[hotwords229_A]

What? Huh? Did I miss something. Is that what she's saying in that gif?

That can’t be what she is saying in the gif. I was going with the idea that, stereotypically, therapists just say “And how does that make you feel?” as their response to everything.

Therefore, it stands to reason that a sex therapist would ask how it makes you squeal.

I've tried to read her lips... I think she is saying, "...grab it with your hand and stroke the head of the penis..."

This was just a case of me being witty and brilliant.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Have you ever gone to a sex therapist? Would you go if you haven’t?

I have not been and I don’t believe I would ever go.

Would you be able to be completely honest with them if you went? (Obviously it won’t work if you’re not, but would you really be able to be totally honest?)
Yes, to the point that I would tell them when I set the appointment up my main problem/concern so she could already have the cure ready to go when I walk in the door.

Would you prefer the opposite sex or same sex therapist? Why?

Opposite. I already know guys don’t have the answer.

Would you be more likely to consult a therapist if it was anonymous online?

Doubtful.

Would you like your partner to go to one?

I wouldn’t stop her.

Would you prefer to go together?

As a couple I could go, but only if we tried everything else to solve whatever the problem was.

Do you think sex therapy works or are you skeptical?

I’m skeptical when it applies to me, but I know it works for other people. That kind of stuff just doesn’t work on me. I have very little respect for most doctors and “experts” (<—notice how I put “experts” in quotes? I do that because I am skeptical of them. )

How does one go about finding a good sex therapist?



I solve most of my emotional and relationship problems with either a long walk or a good lawn mowing.
I am a very simple man.

 

[AussieGeek]

I feel like I, @AussieGeek, or @Trekka would be rapt and enthusiastic pupils. And have all the questions

I'm always interested to expand my knowledge of human sexuality - probably why I did my psych post-grad research on BDSM.
@LadyLascivious1 I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to be included in the conversation - have we met before?

 

[deft]

I'm always interested to expand my knowledge of human sexuality - probably why I did my psych post-grad research on BDSM.
@LadyLascivious1 I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to be included in the conversation - have we met before?

Much confuse... unless @aussiegeekygal has an alt?

 

[AussieGeek]

Much confuse... unless @aussiegeekygal has an alt?

Nope, not an alt, just someone who apparently chose a similar nick by complete accident. LOL

 

[deft]

Nope, not an alt, just someone who apparently chose a similar nick by complete accident. LOL

That’s what they all say

 

[AussieGeek]

That’s what they all say

Does this mean I have to change my nick??

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Nope, not an alt, just someone who apparently chose a similar nick by complete accident. LOL

Why, hello there
Welcome to the fray

 

[AussieGeek]

Why, hello there
Welcome to the fray

Howdy! Good to be here. what are the odds, huh? Two Aussie Geeks living in the USA and spending time on Lit?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I solve most of my emotional and relationship problems with either a long walk or a good lawn mowing.
I am a very simple man.

I'm surprised wank isn't on your short list, but now I know to roll myself in grass clippings if I want to attract you with my "pheromones"

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Howdy! Good to be here. what are the odds, huh? Two Aussie Geeks living in the USA and spending time on Lit?

We should start a club or something

Just whatever you do, don't call it a clique #gasp

 

[AussieGeek]

gawd, the thought of a clique makes me shudder, and gives me high school PTSD flashbacks

 

[hotwords229_A]

I'm surprised wank isn't on your short list, but now I know to roll myself in grass clippings if I want to attract you with my "pheromones"

Believe it or not, I don’t find wanking to be a good problem solving method.
It is a great problem avoiding method, but if I want solutions wanking (generally) isn’t the path forward.

I feel like I’m betraying my penis by saying there is something he can’t solve.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Believe it or not, I don’t find wanking to be a good problem solving method.
It is a great problem avoiding method, but if I want solutions wanking (generally) isn’t the path forward.

I feel like I’m betraying my penis by saying there is something he can’t solve.

Actually I agree with this. It's a distraction. A mood enhancer. And something to stop thinking about the now. Escapism.

*thinks about how often she wanks*

Hmmm.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Ah. Good point.

I just get high and cry in the shower.

Perhaps I should buy a ride on mower?