contractions

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Hijack away

So hijack away. I enjoy banter. I'd rather read this and that instead of the other thing.

|neonurotic|

Don't say we didn't warn. It's too late now.

 

[darkmaas]

Lauren

And how do you take your tea? Angeline, pour a cup for Lauren.

Damn civilized thread this, eh what?

darkmaas

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Strong and with lots n lots of sugar, please.

 

[Angeline]

For Lauren, anything.

 

[HomerPindar]

Not that I have anything against being civilized - nice guys are often confused with being civilized - but a good hijacking is more fun when it's a raucous affair - so skip the tea, make it Tequilla!

WOOHOO

HomerPindar

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Not that I have anything against being civilized - nice guys are often confused with being civilized -

More often, civilized guys are mistaken for nice ones.

 

[HomerPindar]

More often, civilized guys are mistaken for nice ones.

So true...but I make no claims towards being civilized. I am, however, accursed with being a nice guy.

HomerPindar

 

[darkmaas]

A sorry hijacking

A week ago...HomerPindar said:

skip the tea, make it Tequilla!

So we put away the tea things and we waited, glasses in hand, for him to pour. Angeline and Lauren left after a few hours, but darkmaas is patient and his glass was empty.

Well Homer old bud. A week is a bloody long time for a "nice guy" to keep another waiting ... empty glass in hand... so cough up the tequilla mister!

Respectfully,

darkmaas.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

If you're gonna start handing out free tequilla count me in.

 

[darkmaas]

Sorry

Line forms to the left.

 

[darkmaas]

Lauren

The thought has crossed my mind that old Homer has stood us up again. Angeline promised to pour a wee dram if Homer was too boring. Care to share a taxi?

 

[Angeline]

Well

it's after 10 pm here and your taxi is reallllly late (especially for Lauren, for whom it's now 3:22 am). Did you two stop in a bar on the way? Are you both sozzled somewhere? hehe. And gosh, darkmaas baby, that means that this wonderful scotch (you know the good stuff) that we were going to have with a little water, no ice, is erm all mine.

hic.

I mean nighty night.

 

[darkmaas]

Sorry

It's damn hard to get a trans atlantic cab on a Tuesday evening.

Soberly,

darkmaas

 

[Angeline]

It's damn hard to get a trans atlantic cab on a Tuesday evening.

Soberly,

darkmaas

Well too late in any case. The scotch seems to have disappeared. Odd, that.

 

[HomerPindar]

Look 'ere, ifa ya gonna expect me to um...waz da wor, pour, right, ifa ya gonna expect me to a pour you'd um...

wha waz da question?

 

[Angeline]

Book of the Week

FAUST
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

FAUST
I'm a symbol of humanity. (tries to kill himself)

MEPHISTOPHELES
I'm the devil. (does evil)

FAUST
Devil, let's make a deal.
(They do, but it goes BAD.)

FAUST
This sucks. Devil, fix things.

MEPHISTOPHELES
Uh, I can't. Uh. You have to go seek the mysterious underworld beings called the "Mothers" who have the power to help you. Yeah. That's it.

(Faust DIES and lives HAPPILY EVER AFTER, because Mephistopheles was too busy picking up CHICKS.)

THE END

I saw Faust first, Lauren you biyatch. Did you ever sleep last night? (still snorting with laughter)

 

[Angeline]

Here's My Fave

The Yellow Wallpaper
By Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard and David J. Parker

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




The Wife
I think I'm sick. What do you think, my husband and noted physician?

The Husband
Nah. But stay inside and don't talk to anyone until you're better.

The Wife
Now I'm insane.




THE END

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Well, I saw Lit was back on first, so we're even

 

[Angeline]

My Own Condensed Book

This One's For Cordie:

King Lear by William Shakespeare
Condensed by Angeline

King Lear: I'm old.

Edgar: I'm an evil bastard.

Gloucester: I'm blind.

Fool: I'm the only one here who can catch a clue.

King Lear: Now I'm old and insane.

Cordelia: That's ok.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

LOL

You're quite good at this

 

[Angeline]

This is fun!

Richard the III by William Shakespeare
Condensed by Angeline

Richard the III: I'm evil and deformed.

Everyone Else in England: We know.

(Everyone Else in England tries to run away, but Richard catches and kills them.)

Richard the III: Where's all the damn horses? (dies)

The End