Creative Punishement..

[niteshade]

Oh sure you did..tease away, I'm a big girl, I can take it. As for curb kicking me out, I don't see him as doing that...he is too much the gentleman. That being said, he can effectively relay his disappointment in various other ways that are not mistaken for anything else. And you are right, it would need to be a very serious issue for him to think of anything such as finalising our relationship...and as he says, no matter what happens I will never be free of him ever again, so that is out. Commitment goes a long way, as does having similar outlooks and ethics, and lots of communication and wisdom on both sides. Dishonesty is one of the main things he will not tolerate, and we are united in our dislike for deception so it works.

Catalina

actually, I was talking about this stuff....


You can lock someone up for extended periods of time for example in a cage.

You can force them to do something disgusting, like for example removing the use of toilet paper or having them eat their most disgusting food.

You can play with the fears of someone, for example if they are afraid of mice, have a mouse run over their body.

 

[catalina_francisco]

actually, I was talking about this stuff....


You can lock someone up for extended periods of time for example in a cage.

You can force them to do something disgusting, like for example removing the use of toilet paper or having them eat their most disgusting food.

You can play with the fears of someone, for example if they are afraid of mice, have a mouse run over their body.

Challenges are always good for extending oneself if done in the right manner.

C

 

[catalina_francisco]

actually, I was talking about this stuff....

Hello Niteshade,

Let me elaborate a bit and dig my own grave. First let me start by telling I have never had to resort to that kind of punishment, not that I am incapable of punishing that way just that I have never had the need nor ever wanted to resort to that. If I would ever come close I would probably be the one that would do the walking.

In relationships where punishment is something regular and normal, for the punishment to have effect you need continuously to push barriers and frontiers. This eventually will lead to things just like I have mentioned.

If I had a submissive who I could not punish by giving pain, or by feeling my displeasure with her, than I would have to resort to means just as I mentioned. In effect when the submissive removes the possibility of pain as punishment, the only option left is to play with emotions and fears. The mindfuck is the only thing left.

If you take a look at your own suggestion:

However, watching my pyl (that really is great, btw) play with another, while I am not allowed to participate, am totally ignored but expected to watch? I would never screw up that way again

This is playing on fears and frailties in your own character, basically using a mindfuck as punishment. The fact that I am capable of giving a punishment as such makes it also unlikely I would ever have to. Most submissives once they know and realize how far they can go, will not pass certain barriers.

Francisco.

 

[SierraMoon]

To me this is both discipline and punishment as according to definitions. If you do not obey his wishes, you are trained through punishment until you do obey. What does punishment mean to you? Maybe that will help me understand why so many have dropped the definition of discipline as punishment as noted in Oxford Dictionary, Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, just to mention 2 highly recognised dictionaries, to say they are not punished and then tell how they have pain inflicted on them, priviledges taken away, humiliation introduced, all in the name of stopping inappropriate behaviour. My understanding is if a submissive did not displease, these acts would not happen, thus it equates it is punishment...no?

Catalina

Catalina... i apologize.

When i said that my Sir believes in discipline rather than punishment, i meant that He uses discipline in ways that will teach me the error of my ways, rather than punish me just for the sake of punishment. The use of the clothespins, taught me that if i continued to use those words, that would be the consequence i would face... therefor, it was my choice whether or not i wanted to continue using them.

The most effective way that He could ever "punish" me, would be silence from Him. i'm a sub who feeds off of attention, and to have that withdrawn would be crushing to me... did i make myself a little more clear? Sorry about that...

 

[catalina_francisco]

SierraMoon, I appreciate the explanation but to me it still equates to punishment/discipline. Any punishment is given as a way of showing displeasure with a behaviour, and as such ensures (hopefully) eventually that behaviour will be modified in the necessary way. If a child disobeys parental rule, as punishment they may be grounded for a week or two......they learn through this punishment that to disobey that rule is going to warrant punishment which will cause them inconvenience at the least, similar to your swearing meant you were inconvenienced and given pain by placing a clothespin on your tongue until you changed your behaviour. Though you were being trained, you were not being rewarded for disobeying, you were being punished, and over time you learnt to change behaviour to avoid punishment and to please your Sir.

Catalina

 

[SierraMoon]

i guess i just see "punishment" as the extreme form of "discipline". Just as body builders "discipline" themselves by training, so too was my mouth being disciplined. i don't hear it mentioned that they "punish" themselves by training... *sigh*, i guess everyone sees those words differently, and uses them in a different way....

To each their own, i suppose

 

[cellis]

i guess i just see "punishment" as the extreme form of "discipline". Just as body builders "discipline" themselves by training, so too was my mouth being disciplined. i don't hear it mentioned that they "punish" themselves by training... *sigh*, i guess everyone sees those words differently, and uses them in a different way....

To each their own, i suppose

I like the way you think, Darlin!

 

[wolf2002]

If a submissive needs regular punishment, then there is a serious flaw in the relationship, isn't there?

I am not sure I completely agree. Can't punishment (and I don;t eman discipline) be a form of pleasure as well?

A Dom can derive pleasure out of punishing, if not out a sadistic desire, then out of the sense of power/control it creates...

And I am sure that a lot of subs get pleasure out of being punished.... not necessarily out of a masochistic need, but also out of a mental urge to feel the consequences of misbehaving...

 

[Mr Blonde]

Lots of theoretical talking, not many good practical examples!

1. A submissive was having trouble with her friends and we spent most of the evening discussing it. Things finally quieted down and I suggested we go to bed; even though she seldom initiated things, she hinted it might be good to play tonight. Just as I started to get into it, she decided it was not right and wanted to go back to complaining about her friends. I regretfully had to put the brakes on my plans very quickly.

My reaction? A few days later we were going to a party where her same friends would be in attendence. I let her get excited about the party until we were about to go inside....then I told her she was not allowed to have fun or talk to anyone. She was to tell everyone she was sick and remain aloof. This was very hard for her because she is a very extraverted and outgoing person. I was teaching her it is okay to say no, but it is not okay to let someone get their hopes up and then pull the plug.

2. A submissive loved to suck dick. I am not a fan of receiving oral sex myself; but considering the circumstances, was trying to work through my issues in the context of this relationship. I specifically told her never to do something. Either by accident, forgetfulness or to deliberately test me....she did that specific thing I had warned her about.

My reaction? I turned the tables on her. She loved the power exchange of giving away her power during oral sex. I made her remain perfectly still while I "fucked her face" to the point of orgasm. This was very difficult for her to take; it was basically taking away something she enjoyed. Afterwards I told her I was happy to receive oral favors from her, but she had to respect the hard limit I had established at the beginning. Regardless, she resumed sucking my dick and never crossed my boundary again.

3. I found out a submissive had been withholding something fairly important during our post-scene feedback sessions. This was doubly bad because she had always said how great it is that we are open and honest with each other. When she finally came clean, I asked her why she had not said anything and she blamed poor communication skills.

My reaction? I do a fair amount of public speaking. She always thought it was strange that I enjoy something so much that many people (including herself) find horrifying. She had expressed interest in learning how to do it and I had offered to help her (without pressuring her). This time, however, I booked her a small speaking engagement and let her know that her assignment was a ten minute speech on honest communication. Of course she was horrified and nervously sick for four days until she finally suffered through the speech. Fair or not, she subsequently decided to be more forthcoming during our post-scene feedback discussion.

I don't know what you guys will call these stories, but I consider them to be examples of discipline. Nothing so bad as to terminate an otherwise solid relationship, but I was just emphasizing to the submissives what sort of things were important to me.

 

[D's mariposa]

If a submissive needs regular punishment, then there is a serious flaw in the relationship, isn't there?

Again that goes back to individual relationhsips. We have a couple out here where the pysl continuosly needs discipline. I find the submissive partner to be a passive aggressive attention seeker of "Look at me Master! Look what I'm fucking up now!" type. My personal feeling is that the sub is immature and tht he needs to be cut loose to deal with the harsh and scarry world so he can grow up.

However, I'm not in the relationship (thank whatever God there is!) And the PyDL seems to thrive on this. He's very much of the "I am the all powerful True Dominant, molding the unworthy submissive to my model.."

They seem to thrive on the constant need for discipline, and the disfunction of it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Mmmmmm...well just saw a new creative punishment on the Dutch version of Fear Factor. They restrained their 'victims' with straps to the floor of a chicken house (in bikini's), brushed them all over with sticky substance, coated them in chicken food, then let the chickens loose. All I could think about was what might come out the other end of the chickens and where it might land if you were unlucky. Yuk!!

Catalina

 

[wolf2002]

All I could think about was what might come out the other end of the chickens and where it might land if you were unlucky.

An egg?

 

[catalina_francisco]

An egg?

Not exactly...LOL

 

[thegreenfairy]

Ithink my worst punishment would be to be tied, blindfolded... and then ignored. Completely.