Cuckold Appreciation

[SlutAddicted]

When a marriage/relationship gets to the point that the spouses can share their fantasies/desires without judgement or pressure from the other spouse, whether or not they ever make it real, the marriage is in a good place

I think that is true. Both partners can make the connection better by seeing their partner's sexuality honestly. But I think that this especially important for men as we tend to want to see our wife's sexuality through a very traditional lens, which is distorted to suit the way a patriarchal society wants women to be.

 

[policywank]

I think that is true. Both partners can make the connection better by seeing their partner's sexuality honestly. But I think that this especially important for men as we tend to want to see our wife's sexuality through a very traditional lens, which is distorted to suit the way a patriarchal society wants women to be.

I feel as though that traditionalist attitude about the nature of female sexual desire is still unfortunately quite prevalent. You see it in the almost inexplicable hostility some men express towards the hot wife genre. It isn't even the sex that enrages them - it is ok for a woman to be a total slut as long as she is under the control of a man or is properly denigrated or her husband is keeping up with her sexual adventures. But when a woman assumes her own agency and exercises her sexual power in a way that the man can't match or control they just lose it.

 

[thatdamman]

I was a cuckold. My wife never saw any reason to not fuck anyone she wanted, any time she wanted. At first I could not deal with the challenge, but soon I discovered that I became intensely aroused and humiliated each time it happened, again.

 

[CuckGuy89]

I feel as though that traditionalist attitude about the nature of female sexual desire is still unfortunately quite prevalent. You see it in the almost inexplicable hostility some men express towards the hot wife genre. It isn't even the sex that enrages them - it is ok for a woman to be a total slut as long as she is under the control of a man or is properly denigrated or her husband is keeping up with her sexual adventures. But when a woman assumes her own agency and exercises her sexual power in a way that the man can't match or control they just lose it.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

My wife told me she wanted to experiance sex with other men and who she wanted. I respect her as an equal and she has a right to have sexual relationships with whomever she wished
If she had hidden her needs then I might have different
Feelings

 

[Willywin]

Ther is an old adage: Happy Wife Happy Life.

 

[jimmyturtleman]

Ther is an old adage: Happy Wife Happy

So true. And since my wife hooked up with an old BF of hers, she is very happy.

 

[muycurioso]

Yes I suppose it does go that way sometimes, unfortunately. It takes a certain mindset from the wife have a balanced view of her cuckold. Those who don't understand the lifestyle seem to believe this outcome is inevitable though which I think is incorrect.

possibly the other guy could be putting bad ideas in her head that would make the wife go rouge

 

[reivertom2]

Lately there has been a real dearth in well written, realistic cuckold stories. The vast majority (and not even well written) are fetish or BDSM stories that just happen to have cuckolding in them. Because most cuckolding relationships have very little of that stuff in them.

Also, I have not seen a one-off cheating story, such as wife hooks up with the guy flirting with her at lunch, or a one-off while out of town, from the wife's perspective, for a long time.

During a serious illness, my wife confessed about a one night stand which she had had while working away from home. I found it incredibly erotic and had to make sure that she wrote it down for me. I don't know how to submit a word document for you. Any advice?

 

[lc69hunter]

During a serious illness, my wife confessed about a one night stand which she had had while working away from home. I found it incredibly erotic and had to make sure that she wrote it down for me. I don't know how to submit a word document for you. Any advice?

Just start writing. Use spell check, and when you think you are finished, set it aside and come back and read it again a week so or later. You will be surprised at the little errors you made. when you are ready to submit, go to your profile and click on the works tab. It will tell you how to submit. Tell the admins the section you you want it posted in, and be sure to use tags to tell readers what to expect. It takes about 8 days for the admins to publish. Beware, though, that the story you are posting will bring a lot of ignorant trolls out who will call you every name in the book. Ignore them

 

[MrRetro]

In much of porn and the broader world I believe that the role of the cuckold is poorly understood, especially in the way it is regarded with derision. For this purpose I take the view that any man who supports his wife having sex with other men but does not himself have sex with other women (or is restricted in this regard) is a cuckold. I know there are differences of opinion on terminology but that really isn't the point of this thread.

Amongst people engaged or interested in this dynamic and in any literature that takes it seriously the cuckold is a man who appreciates his wife and is very much appreciated by his wife. Some couples engage in fetish play while others don't. For those that do it is a sort of psychological BDSM. Regardless of how it appears to the observer it is fully consensual, both partners enjoy it and underneath it all is a genuine mutual appreciation. I have never actually met, talked to or heard of a hotwife who actually views her cuckold with derision and disdain or who would stand idly by while another man is being genuinely abusive and hurtful towards him.

Do other people have a different experience?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple who has an open marriage (even if it isn't their thing) seemingly unable to comprehend this lifestyle?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple having a penchant for BDSM unable to comprehend a desire for cuckold fetish play?

I find it almost impossible to have a meaningful and objective conversation with most people on this topic, outside of our local swingers club of course.

I spent years studying the cuckold lifestyle before I finally realised that I didn’t comply with the generic interpretation of this lifestyle. It has also taken me years to realise I needed to leave a stale marriage and find a woman where I could learn more about myself in the context of a cuckold style lifestyle.

What I enjoy most is completely submitting to the beauty of my new lady’s sexuality. Whether it’s watching her flirt with a new guy, watching her have sex with a new guy in the swingers club or just listening to her describe men that she desires, it really is all about her. For the most part I enjoy watching her face contort and her body writhe in her exquisite sexual passion. In these moments I’m completely satisfied, I really don’t desire any other woman apart from her. I chose not to take any other woman and take my pleasure in her.

This just isn’t represented in anything I’ve seen on the lifestyle, it’s just something that seems so misunderstood.

 

[Sue0]

Thank you so much. Now that is the kind of complement that gets my panties wet.

I also love your stories, gave me lots of inspiration.

 

[policywank]

I find it almost impossible to have a meaningful and objective conversation with most people on this topic, outside of our local swingers club of course.

I spent years studying the cuckold lifestyle before I finally realised that I didn’t comply with the generic interpretation of this lifestyle. It has also taken me years to realise I needed to leave a stale marriage and find a woman where I could learn more about myself in the context of a cuckold style lifestyle.

What I enjoy most is completely submitting to the beauty of my new lady’s sexuality. Whether it’s watching her flirt with a new guy, watching her have sex with a new guy in the swingers club or just listening to her describe men that she desires, it really is all about her. For the most part I enjoy watching her face contort and her body writhe in her exquisite sexual passion. In these moments I’m completely satisfied, I really don’t desire any other woman apart from her. I chose not to take any other woman and take my pleasure in her.

This just isn’t represented in anything I’ve seen on the lifestyle, it’s just something that seems so misunderstood.

Up until now the cuckold perspective has not evolved very far. Historically a cuckold was a victim because it was assumed that all men sought monogamous fidelity. It is just barely now being recognized as a lifestyle preference with an assumed prevalent fetish aspect. But the understanding of it is about where many other relationship and sexual preferences were 50+ years ago - characterized by those who don't understand it and/or seek to capitalize on cheap tawdry versions of it for a porn audience.

Those representations are altogether inaccurate but maybe they serve to surface some degree of awareness.

Above I noted relationship and sexual preferences and the assumed fetish aspect. Each of those things is an independent aspect of understanding this dynamic. Do you wish your relationship to be monogamous? If not is it critical that both partners are equally engaged with other sexual partners? What do you and your partner each want personally in terms of sexual activity? Is there any fetish aspect to your non-traditional sexual preferences? And frankly what is fetish other than non-traditional?

Doesn't the answer to those questions lead us back to the prospect that our attitudes and views all relate to the reality that this legitimate lifestyle choice hasn't yet been accepted by society at large? If so, then look back 75 years to when misogynist, racist, patriarchal society dominated. See the changes since then. We haven't become more enlightened. Rather society accepts certain things into the fold of acceptable while rejecting those things outside the fold. Acceptance is not the gauge of legitimacy. That is why the right to be who we are is so important.

 

[policywank]

I also love your stories, gave me lots of inspiration.

Thank you very much. I never get tired of hearing that especially given how many people use the comments section to say terrible things just for having a different view of the world.

 

[lc69hunter]

Up until now the cuckold perspective has not evolved very far. Historically a cuckold was a victim because it was assumed that all men sought monogamous fidelity. It is just barely now being recognized as a lifestyle preference with an assumed prevalent fetish aspect. But the understanding of it is about where many other relationship and sexual preferences were 50+ years ago - characterized by those who don't understand it and/or seek to capitalize on cheap tawdry versions of it for a porn audience.

Those representations are altogether inaccurate but maybe they serve to surface some degree of awareness.

Above I noted relationship and sexual preferences and the assumed fetish aspect. Each of those things is an independent aspect of understanding this dynamic. Do you wish your relationship to be monogamous? If not is it critical that both partners are equally engaged with other sexual partners? What do you and your partner each want personally in terms of sexual activity? Is there any fetish aspect to your non-traditional sexual preferences? And frankly what is fetish other than non-traditional?

Doesn't the answer to those questions lead us back to the prospect that our attitudes and views all relate to the reality that this legitimate lifestyle choice hasn't yet been accepted by society at large? If so, then look back 75 years to when misogynist, racist, patriarchal society dominated. See the changes since then. We haven't become more enlightened. Rather society accepts certain things into the fold of acceptable while rejecting those things outside the fold. Acceptance is not the gauge of legitimacy. That is why the right to be who we are is so important.

Up in the Author's thread, there is a very interesting discussion about cuckolding/sharing, and the porn versions thereof versus the reality. It still amazes me the number of individuals, even among the authors, who think that anything resembling extra-marital sex, no matter the context, is morally repugnant to them.

 

[policywank]

Up in the Author's thread, there is a very interesting discussion about cuckolding/sharing, and the porn versions thereof versus the reality. It still amazes me the number of individuals, even among the authors, who think that anything resembling extra-marital sex, no matter the context, is morally repugnant to them.

I think this is a good example of the degree to which specific societal constructs permeate some people's thinking. They have such a limit view of the world's diversity that they mistake their own conditioning for some kind of universal truth.

We see the same thing with other assumptions about how people in relationships are "supposed" to behave in certain contexts. For instance, I find it very odd the way some women regard jealous and possessive behaviour on the part of men as the necessary evidence of their love and commitment. Personally I find that behaviour undesirable, but I comprehend that others feel differently. It baffles me to hear a woman say that she cannot believe a man loves her if he doesn't exhibit this behaviour - as if she simply cannot or will not accept that not all men define themselves this way.

 

[lc69hunter]

I think this is a good example of the degree to which specific societal constructs permeate some people's thinking. They have such a limit via of the world's diversity that they mistake their own conditioning for some kind of universal truth.

We see the same thing with other assumptions about how people in relationships are "supposed" to behave in certain contexts. For instance, I find it very odd the way some women regard jealous and possessive behaviour on the part of men as the necessary evidence of their love and commitment. Personally I find that behaviour undesirable, but I comprehend that others feel differently. It baffles me to hear a woman say that she cannot believe a man loves her if he doesn't exhibit this behaviour - as if she simply cannot or will not accept that not all men define themselves this way.

If I have to pretend to be that possessive and jealous person to prove my love for you, it just shows your insecurities.

 

[policywank]

If I have to pretend to be that possessive and jealous person to prove my love for you, it just shows your insecurities.

If a guy behaves that way towards me I am more likely to take it as an affront. I am perfectly capable of managing my interactions with other men, deciding what is appropriate and putting a stop to anything that isn't appropriate.

Besides, if your girl is behaving inappropriately with some other guy shouldn't your issue be with her?

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

If I have to pretend to be that possessive and jealous person to prove my love for you, it just shows your insecurities.

I recently went through this scenario with my wife. After we had made the mutual decision that we’d enter into what we now call a mutual non-monogamous relationship, she then started asking me, no, more like challenging me that I didn’t seem jealous over her behavior!

I thought this was odd, as we’d agreed to certain ground rules and had put all our cards on the table so to speak. I have a sneaking suspicion that these rules only apply to her.

 

[policywank]

I recently went through this scenario with my wife. After we had made the mutual decision that we’d enter into what we now call a mutual non-monogamous relationship, she then started asking me, no, more like challenging me that I didn’t seem jealous over her behavior!

I thought this was odd, as we’d agreed to certain ground rules and had put all our cards on the table so to speak. I have a sneaking suspicion that these rules only apply to her.

So do you think she wants to be able to have other lovers and have you be jealous of that as opposed to primarily engaged with your other partners?

 

[AdamPhoenix]

I find it almost impossible to have a meaningful and objective conversation with most people on this topic, outside of our local swingers club of course.

I spent years studying the cuckold lifestyle before I finally realised that I didn’t comply with the generic interpretation of this lifestyle. It has also taken me years to realise I needed to leave a stale marriage and find a woman where I could learn more about myself in the context of a cuckold style lifestyle.

What I enjoy most is completely submitting to the beauty of my new lady’s sexuality. Whether it’s watching her flirt with a new guy, watching her have sex with a new guy in the swingers club or just listening to her describe men that she desires, it really is all about her. For the most part I enjoy watching her face contort and her body writhe in her exquisite sexual passion. In these moments I’m completely satisfied, I really don’t desire any other woman apart from her. I chose not to take any other woman and take my pleasure in her.

This just isn’t represented in anything I’ve seen on the lifestyle, it’s just something that seems so misunderstood.

I understand exactly how you feel. You only live once so do what makes you happy. I just turned 43 and would love to swing with my wife but she's not overly interested. Any tips for getting her warmed up to the idea? Cheers

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

So do you think she wants to be able to have other lovers and have you be jealous of that as opposed to primarily engaged with your other partners?

Yes, in short. Right now it’s only one person for her but that seems to be the dynamic. In fact right before or after Christmas, she thinking I was sneaking off and playing without her knowledge (I wasn’t) demanded I pull my crank out for an inspection.

When we talked about boundaries and I guess ground rules, she said she’d like to approve any of my choices. It wasn’t hard and fast and she even mentioned she didn’t know if she could “handle” me being with other women. This really is more about her than me, but if I’m going to bite the bullet and not show jealousy then she should reciprocate.

BTW, I did honor her request to pull out my cock for inspection, laughing all the time knowing I didn’t do anything, but did tell her from this point going forward if I pull this out I’d like more than a cursory handling and inspection!. I did realize for the first time that this isn’t an even playing field.

 

[policywank]

Yes, in short. Right now it’s only one person for her but that seems to be the dynamic. In fact right before or after Christmas, she thinking I was sneaking off and playing without her knowledge (I wasn’t) demanded I pull my crank out for an inspection.

When we talked about boundaries and I guess ground rules, she said she’d like to approve any of my choices. It wasn’t hard and fast and she even mentioned she didn’t know if she could “handle” me being with other women. This really is more about her than me, but if I’m going to bite the bullet and not show jealousy then she should reciprocate.

BTW, I did honor her request to pull out my cock for inspection, laughing all the time knowing I didn’t do anything, but did tell her from this point going forward if I pull this out I’d like more than a cursory handling and inspection!. I did realize for the first time that this isn’t an even playing field.

Lol. Well a deal is a deal. And if the deal is reciprocity then I agree that she should bite the bullet and corral here jealousy.

That said I think that it is always good to be open to the possibility of changing the deal if it suits both parties. Equality or reciprocity is usually our default position on many things in our relationship. But it isn't always the right answer. I think balance is a better objective.

As a silly example suppose that you want to golf every Saturday morning during the warm seasons, but that takes time away from the family and leaves certain undesirable chores to your wife. Is the quid pro quo that she get to do the same every Sunday morning? It depends if that is what she wants based upon all relevant factors including her ability to find a desirable golf partner. Is it ok for you to say you'd really rather she choose some other indulgence because you'd rather sleep in Sunday but make up for it another time during the week? Sure it is. She doesn't have to accept that position, but there is nothing saying that you can't ask.

In my view there is nothing wrong with her saying "I'd like to take other lovers but have you remain faithful." You don't have to accept that. You can insist on reciprocity or monogamy as your condition of staying in the relationship. But there is nothing wrong with her stating her preference.

In a lot of these situations men quickly find that reciprocity isn't what they had hoped anyways. Equal opportunity won't mean equal outcome. And you are different people. If she is jealous and you are not that is what it is. She may not be able to turn that off and you may not be able to turn it on. If she really wants to play golf but she sucks at it and can't find a suitable partner does that mean she should deny you your golf game or should she take responsibility for her circumstances and find something else that suits her.

All that matters is that you find a balance that suits you both.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Lol. Well a deal is a deal. And if the deal is reciprocity then I agree that she should bite the bullet and corral here jealousy.

That said I think that it is always good to be open to the possibility of changing the deal if it suits both parties. Equality or reciprocity is usually our default position on many things in our relationship. But it isn't always the right answer. I think balance is a better objective.

As a silly example suppose that you want to golf every Saturday morning during the warm seasons, but that takes time away from the family and leaves certain undesirable chores to your wife. Is the quid pro quo that she get to do the same every Sunday morning? It depends if that is what she wants based upon all relevant factors including her ability to find a desirable golf partner. Is it ok for you to say you'd really rather she choose some other indulgence because you'd rather sleep in Sunday but make up for it another time during the week? Sure it is. She doesn't have to accept that position, but there is nothing saying that you can't ask.

In my view there is nothing wrong with her saying "I'd like to take other lovers but have you remain faithful." You don't have to accept that. You can insist on reciprocity or monogamy as your condition of staying in the relationship. But there is nothing wrong with her stating her preference.

In a lot of these situations men quickly find that reciprocity isn't what they had hoped anyways. Equal opportunity won't mean equal outcome. And you are different people. If she is jealous and you are not that is what it is. She may not be able to turn that off and you may not be able to turn it on. If she really wants to play golf but she sucks at it and can't find a suitable partner does that mean she should deny you your golf game or should she take responsibility for her circumstances and find something else that suits her.

All that matters is that you find a balance that suits you both.

In all honesty, when we started down this path of CNM, I really didn’t expect much on my part. Not that I couldn’t do it, just that it takes so much work on most men’s part. Work that I neither have time for nor the will at this point.

Her partner/object of her affection was kind of seamlessly laid out in front of her, and as we’ve discussed before, it will always be easier for the fairer sex. He’s a member of a band we’d both become familiar with over the last ten years. Many shows attended and many after show parties with them at festivals and shows. The slow burn has been happening for that long. He’s a dude I know and respect on some level and a person who‘s not some random yahoo hookup for her. Maybe that’s the reason I’m not jealous?

I don’t really mind that she’s altered the ground rules but I would at least like to keep that reciprocal ace in the hole!

I have to face the fact this may be just a power play on both our parts, specifically; jockeying for position for ground rules.

I’ve accepted that she has more than passing feeling and loves this guy. I also know she loves me and at the end of the day she’ll always come home.

 

[policywank]

In all honesty, when we started down this path of CNM, I really didn’t expect much on my part. Not that I couldn’t do it, just that it takes so much work on most men’s part. Work that I neither have time for nor the will at this point.

Her partner/object of her affection was kind of seamlessly laid out in front of her, and as we’ve discussed before, it will always be easier for the fairer sex. He’s a member of a band we’d both become familiar with over the last ten years. Many shows attended and many after show parties with them at festivals and shows. The slow burn has been happening for that long. He’s a dude I know and respect on some level and a person who‘s not some random yahoo hookup for her. Maybe that’s the reason I’m not jealous?

I don’t really mind that she’s altered the ground rules but I would at least like to keep that reciprocal ace in the hole!

I have to face the fact this may be just a power play on both our parts, specifically; jockeying for position for ground rules.

I’ve accepted that she has more than passing feeling and loves this guy. I also know she loves me and at the end of the day she’ll always come home.

I think that it is great that you have that clarity and openness about things. Guys often want to envision it as a purely physical experience, but I think that most women want an emotional connection. It is highly likely to occur and denying that would sap the experience of fulfillment for her. But her love is not finite and there is no reason that having feelings for another man needs to be a threat to a woman's primary relationship.

To the extent that it does it is often a self-fulfilling thing. If a woman buys into the premise that she is only supposed to have strong feelings for one man the presence of feelings for another man may led her to question here feelings for her husband. But that is just a by-product of a misguided reliance on the monogamy paradigm. In truth she can have a wonderful relationship with you and him.