Cuckolding and Statistics

I love to troll the haters in the Loving Wives genre who go crazy about extramarital sex, especially when the husband is on board.( I am in the top 15 of all time commenters, so I have a lot to say on stories) I was quoting statistics from a 20 year old biased study I think Penthouse, that said that 72% of married men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Well I was called on it, so I went back and researched.

Here are the results of a large scale survey conducted in 2021. The actual numbers are 58% of married men have that fantasy. Surprisingly, 33% of wives have that same fantasy, being with another man in front of her husband. Another stat that came out of the study, that doesn't surprise me, is that 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues. It wasn't mentioned in the study, but I suspect husbands in those long term marriages have the same type of fantasies.

So your husband and you are not alone in this fantasy. He is not a pervert. He just wants to see you pleasured. The secret is open communication, with no judgements. In my earlier days, I was with a number of cuckold relationships, where they were loving and consensual, and they were walking this road together, side by side as equals. The secret to the success of these relationships is the core bond between husband and wife. That needs to remain strong, or this won't work in the long term.
I have had fantasies about other guys' I know fucking my wife for over 50 years now. And we had some really nice hot 3sums with a work friend of mine. But my wife and I both knew he wasn't her type to do more than just the sex, so it worked out great for us. I think that is a huge key to having a cuckold or just sharing your wife with another guy relationship. A nice enough guy that your wife would fuck, but knowing he's only into fucking her and that's all she wants is his, maybe bigger cock. The work friend I had was in a sexless marriage, so he needed the sex / my wife's pussy. She knew he was a drinker and like to party a lot. So, she wouldn't fall in love or anything like that with him. We just hooked up once every couple months for an all nighter, for a year maybe longer.
 
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I love to troll the haters in the Loving Wives genre who go crazy about extramarital sex, especially when the husband is on board.( I am in the top 15 of all time commenters, so I have a lot to say on stories) I was quoting statistics from a 20 year old biased study I think Penthouse, that said that 72% of married men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Well I was called on it, so I went back and researched.

Here are the results of a large scale survey conducted in 2021. The actual numbers are 58% of married men have that fantasy. Surprisingly, 33% of wives have that same fantasy, being with another man in front of her husband. Another stat that came out of the study, that doesn't surprise me, is that 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues. It wasn't mentioned in the study, but I suspect husbands in those long term marriages have the same type of fantasies.

So your husband and you are not alone in this fantasy. He is not a pervert. He just wants to see you pleasured. The secret is open communication, with no judgements. In my earlier days, I was with a number of cuckold relationships, where they were loving and consensual, and they were walking this road together, side by side as equals. The secret to the success of these relationships is the core bond between husband and wife. That needs to remain strong, or this won't work in the long term.
Thanks for sharing. I bet those numbers are low. Even in a confidential survey, some people struggle to admit things they feel ashamed of. I'd bet that while 58% of men admit they want that, I bet the real number is much higher.
 
I love to troll the haters in the Loving Wives genre who go crazy about extramarital sex, especially when the husband is on board.( I am in the top 15 of all time commenters, so I have a lot to say on stories) I was quoting statistics from a 20 year old biased study I think Penthouse, that said that 72% of married men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Well I was called on it, so I went back and researched.

Here are the results of a large scale survey conducted in 2021. The actual numbers are 58% of married men have that fantasy. Surprisingly, 33% of wives have that same fantasy, being with another man in front of her husband. Another stat that came out of the study, that doesn't surprise me, is that 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues. It wasn't mentioned in the study, but I suspect husbands in those long term marriages have the same type of fantasies.

So your husband and you are not alone in this fantasy. He is not a pervert. He just wants to see you pleasured. The secret is open communication, with no judgements. In my earlier days, I was with a number of cuckold relationships, where they were loving and consensual, and they were walking this road together, side by side as equals. The secret to the success of these relationships is the core bond between husband and wife. That needs to remain strong, or this won't work in the long term.
This just occurred to me. Oh, obviously I’m on board with the fantasy and in the category of those who keep it to myself - my username likely gives this away. But why is cuckolding a big fetish in porn, erotica, etc., but not wives watching husbands fuck other women? A reverse cuckolding if you will.
 
This just occurred to me. Oh, obviously I’m on board with the fantasy and in the category of those who keep it to myself - my username likely gives this away. But why is cuckolding a big fetish in porn, erotica, etc., but not wives watching husbands fuck other women? A reverse cuckolding if you will.
It is also a real thing - the woman that wants to watch her husband with other women is called a "cuckquean." But it's just not as prominent as the hotwife version.
 
It is also a real thing - the woman that wants to watch her husband with other women is called a "cuckquean." But it's just not as prominent as the hotwife version.
Both hubby and I enjoy watching, it's not about humiliation or anything so not sure about being true cuck and cuckqueen. For us it's more about trust (strange to say), the taboo and just pure uninhibited pleasure.

We've been around swingers our whole lives in one way or another so doesn't seem that uncommon and we have had some big surprises about who is into it. People (including us) are pretty good at hiding it as far as the"outside world" is concerned. That said, it is something that stays within the realm of fantasy for most.

We've never met a true cuck in the strictest sense though.
 
Both hubby and I enjoy watching, it's not about humiliation or anything so not sure about being true cuck and cuckqueen. For us it's more about trust (strange to say), the taboo and just pure uninhibited pleasure.

We've been around swingers our whole lives in one way or another so doesn't seem that uncommon and we have had some big surprises about who is into it. People (including us) are pretty good at hiding it as far as the"outside world" is concerned. That said, it is something that stays within the realm of fantasy for most.

We've never met a true cuck in the strictest sense though.
I suppose a true cuckquean would desire some of the angst that a cuckold feels. But of course we have broadened the definition to include so many things.

It's good to see you post! Haven't read one of your posts in quite a while.
 
One of the frustrating things I find about these cuckold threads is that everyone seems to have a different definition of what a cuckold is.

Traditionally and historically, going back hundreds of years, a cuckold is a male who's wife is cheating on him behind his back. Neighbors and friends may know it is happening and they see the cheated husband as a bit of a fool for being blind to it. It was always non-consensual and carried humiliation for the husband, in front of his peers, when it was eventually revealed to him.

In the modern world cuckold has come to mean a little but more than that. It now covers any variety of situations where the wife takes a lover(s) whether it be with or without the husbands permission, whether or not the activity humiliates the husband or not, and whether or not the husband actively participates in the "fun" or is excluded from it.

The simple fact remains, a cuckold is a husband whose wife is having sex with other guys. It's that simple.
 
One of the frustrating things I find about these cuckold threads is that everyone seems to have a different definition of what a cuckold is.

Traditionally and historically, going back hundreds of years, a cuckold is a male who's wife is cheating on him behind his back. Neighbors and friends may know it is happening and they see the cheated husband as a bit of a fool for being blind to it. It was always non-consensual and carried humiliation for the husband, in front of his peers, when it was eventually revealed to him.

In the modern world cuckold has come to mean a little but more than that. It now covers any variety of situations where the wife takes a lover(s) whether it be with or without the husbands permission, whether or not the activity humiliates the husband or not, and whether or not the husband actively participates in the "fun" or is excluded from it.

The simple fact remains, a cuckold is a husband whose wife is having sex with other guys. It's that simple.
We all know the traditional definition, and how it arose. However, your definition includes a broad spectrum of non-traditional marriages/relationships, including swinging, swapping, threesomes, open marriages, sharing, and any variation on any of the above. Of course, that is the definition that the mentally deficient trolls down in LW use when they spew their trash
 
Been jawin' on this one for a bit.

Opinions, people have them. Right, wrong or anywhere in between. I'd never heard this particular C word until a couple of years ago on another site. The standard definition seems to be as noted above, but it's been widely broadened as many terms have.

I always knew 'open marriage' as the term where both parties agree one or both can play.
 
... 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues.

This! 72% may actually be low. Women confess this sort of thing to each other and almost every one of my friends has admitted to fantasizing about men they know. Very often its another close friend's husband.
 
This! 72% may actually be low. Women confess this sort of thing to each other and almost every one of my friends has admitted to fantasizing about men they know. Very often its another close friend's husband.
I agree with you. I am good friends with a bunch of women, and when we are talking and drinking wine, I am just another girlfriend. I hear it all, and their husbands would be shocked as hell to hear it.
 
The problem with all these kinds of studies is that they rely on self-reporting. Once people are self-reporting there are many reasons why the information that is provided might be at variance from the 'truth' (an objectively impossible term in this particular case). Sometimes people might not truly understand what they are being asked, others might not want to reveal their thoughts (however anonymous it might be), others may not want to admit their feelings to themselves, and there are plenty of other reasons why any figures here are suspect at best.

Which isn't to say that we can't perhaps say that 'lots' of people have varying levels of fantasy about someone they know/have seen outside their dominant pair bond. Some people even engage in those desires, either openly or behind their partner's back. But again, when it comes to getting accurate numbers of people who are actually cheating/swinging then we're best off just picking a number out of the air.
 
I think that the challenge with the definitional debates is that we tend to project our own assumptions about the motivations and sentiments of others. As others have noted the historical definition of a cuckold included the premise that the wife was cheating, that he would oppose her doing so and that he would feel humiliated if he knew about it. But I think that was at least in part because society at that time could not imagine it to be any other way. Meanwhile there are plenty of historical examples of wives who had sex with other men where the husband knew about it, accepted it and didn't feel particularly humiliated by the circumstance yet was still considered a cuckold.

For example, Tolstoy's character in Anna Karenina as well as actual characters like Lord Mountbatten and many other royals and aristocrats existed in times when divorce was all but impossible (and might lead to a woman being banished to the fringes of society). The ones I referred to here basically turned a blind eye to their wife's extra-marital affairs and more or less carried on with their lives. They may have preferred a different set of circumstances, but they managed just fine for a variety of reasons and did not live a life of humiliation, yet they were still considered cuckolds. In some cases even if the man was also having extra-marital affairs the fact that his wife was also doing it made him a cuckold (because of the different standards applied to men and women).

We are sort of doing the same thing with the modern definition of cuckold. The fetishs suggest a man who feels inferior and humiliated. But what if all of the other elements of cuckolding are there but he just doesn't feel humiliated or inferior? Does he cease to be a cuckold? Personally I don't think so. But I am not going to try to claim that my extensive experience as a hot wife and before that my experience with an open relationship means that I know better than anybody else. I think it isn't just a matter of any one person's experience but also the fact that our modern view of cuckolding is still evolving. That said, I do think that some degree of imbalance is implied - in other words I have sex with other men but my husband doesn't have sex with other women. But why that situation exists and how he feels about it aren't really factors.

For me the reality is that humiliation and a sense of inferiority are feelings that are driven by a man's reaction to a situation. That is internal to him. Others can't compel him to feel a certain way. Whereas whether or not he is a cuckold is a by-product of a specific set of facts regarding his wife's (and his) sexual activity.

Chances are that some of the men who said they would like to see their wife have sex with another man might also say that they would only want that if they had reciprocal rights. But in my experience that is more about finding a way to "keep up" or mitigate his own jealousy as opposed to being part of the formula for enjoying the premise of his wife being with another man. Therefore most of those men are at least good candidates for cuckoldry if those emotions could be managed.
 
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I think that the challenge with the definitional debates is that we tend to project our own assumptions about the motivations and sentiments of others. As others have noted the historical definition of a cuckold included the premise that the wife was cheating, that he would oppose her doing so and that he would feel humiliated if he knew about it. But I think that was at least in part because society at that time could not imagine it to be any other way. Meanwhile there are plenty of historical examples of wives who had sex with other men where the husband knew about it, accepted it and didn't feel particularly humiliated by the circumstance yet was still considered a cuckold.

For example, Tolstoy's character in Anna Karenina as well as actual characters like Lord Mountbatten and many other royals and aristocrats existed in times when divorce was all but impossible (and might lead to a woman being banished to the fringes of society). The ones I referred to here basically turned a blind eye to their wife's extra-marital affairs and more or less carried on with their lives. They may have preferred a different set of circumstances, but they managed just fine for a variety of reasons and did not live a life of humiliation, yet they were still considered cuckolds. In some cases even if the man was also having extra-marital affairs the fact that his wife was also doing it made him a cuckold (because of the different standards applied to men and women).

We are sort of doing the same thing with the modern definition of cuckold. The fetish suggest a man who feels inferior and humiliated. But what if all of the other elements of cuckolding are there but he just doesn't feel humiliated or inferior? Does he cease to be a cuckold? Personally I don't think so. But I am not going to try to claim that my extensive experience as a hot wife and before that my experience with an open relationship means that I know better than anybody else. I think it isn't just a matter of any one person's experience but also the fact that our modern view of cuckolding is still evolving. That said, I do think that some degree of imbalance is implied - in other words I have sex with other men but my husband doesn't have sex with other women. But why that situation exists and how he feels about it aren't really factors.

For me the reality is that humiliation and a sense of inferiority are feelings that are driven by a man's reaction to a situation. That is internal to him. Others can't compel him to feel a certain way. Whereas whether or not he is a cuckold is a by-product of a specific set of facts regarding his wife's (and his) sexual activity.

Chances are that some of the men who said they would like to see their wife have sex with another man might also say that they would only want that if they had reciprocal rights. But in my experience that is more about finding a way to "keep up" or mitigate his own jealousy as opposed to being part of the formula for enjoying the premise of his wife being with another man. Therefore most of those men are at least good candidates for cuckoldry if those emotions could be managed.

Years ago my wife and I had an open relationship. It became clear fairly quickly that she was well suited to that lifestyle and I was not. As far as I am concerned the moment I became a cuckold is the moment that we agreed that she would continue to date other men but I would cease seeking other women and devote myself to her alone.

Over time we have come to indulge most of what people regard as the fetish aspects of cuckolding so I think that pretty much everyone would agree that I am a cuckold at this point. But I don't see those things as being prerequisites to my cuckolding.
 
I think that the challenge with the definitional debates is that we tend to project our own assumptions about the motivations and sentiments of others. As others have noted the historical definition of a cuckold included the premise that the wife was cheating, that he would oppose her doing so and that he would feel humiliated if he knew about it. But I think that was at least in part because society at that time could not imagine it to be any other way. Meanwhile there are plenty of historical examples of wives who had sex with other men where the husband knew about it, accepted it and didn't feel particularly humiliated by the circumstance yet was still considered a cuckold.

For example, Tolstoy's character in Anna Karenina as well as actual characters like Lord Mountbatten and many other royals and aristocrats existed in times when divorce was all but impossible (and might lead to a woman being banished to the fringes of society). The ones I referred to here basically turned a blind eye to their wife's extra-marital affairs and more or less carried on with their lives. They may have preferred a different set of circumstances, but they managed just fine for a variety of reasons and did not live a life of humiliation, yet they were still considered cuckolds. In some cases even if the man was also having extra-marital affairs the fact that his wife was also doing it made him a cuckold (because of the different standards applied to men and women).

We are sort of doing the same thing with the modern definition of cuckold. The fetish suggest a man who feels inferior and humiliated. But what if all of the other elements of cuckolding are there but he just doesn't feel humiliated or inferior? Does he cease to be a cuckold? Personally I don't think so. But I am not going to try to claim that my extensive experience as a hot wife and before that my experience with an open relationship means that I know better than anybody else. I think it isn't just a matter of any one person's experience but also the fact that our modern view of cuckolding is still evolving. That said, I do think that some degree of imbalance is implied - in other words I have sex with other men but my husband doesn't have sex with other women. But why that situation exists and how he feels about it aren't really factors.

For me the reality is that humiliation and a sense of inferiority are feelings that are driven by a man's reaction to a situation. That is internal to him. Others can't compel him to feel a certain way. Whereas whether or not he is a cuckold is a by-product of a specific set of facts regarding his wife's (and his) sexual activity.

Chances are that some of the men who said they would like to see their wife have sex with another man might also say that they would only want that if they had reciprocal rights. But in my experience that is more about finding a way to "keep up" or mitigate his own jealousy as opposed to being part of the formula for enjoying the premise of his wife being with another man. Therefore most of those men are at least good candidates for cuckoldry if those emotions could be managed.
As always, you bring clarity to the conversation
 
I love to troll the haters in the Loving Wives genre who go crazy about extramarital sex, especially when the husband is on board.( I am in the top 15 of all time commenters, so I have a lot to say on stories) I was quoting statistics from a 20 year old biased study I think Penthouse, that said that 72% of married men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Well I was called on it, so I went back and researched.

Here are the results of a large scale survey conducted in 2021. The actual numbers are 58% of married men have that fantasy. Surprisingly, 33% of wives have that same fantasy, being with another man in front of her husband. Another stat that came out of the study, that doesn't surprise me, is that 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues. It wasn't mentioned in the study, but I suspect husbands in those long term marriages have the same type of fantasies.

So your husband and you are not alone in this fantasy. He is not a pervert. He just wants to see you pleasured. The secret is open communication, with no judgements. In my earlier days, I was with a number of cuckold relationships, where they were loving and consensual, and they were walking this road together, side by side as equals. The secret to the success of these relationships is the core bond between husband and wife. That needs to remain strong, or this won't work in the long term.

it matter not to me one way or the other but.
That all depends on who did this survey?.and you'd expect any Penthouse readers to vote 72% in fav in a survey of that kind.
 
I love to troll the haters in the Loving Wives genre who go crazy about extramarital sex, especially when the husband is on board.( I am in the top 15 of all time commenters, so I have a lot to say on stories) I was quoting statistics from a 20 year old biased study I think Penthouse, that said that 72% of married men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Well I was called on it, so I went back and researched.

Here are the results of a large scale survey conducted in 2021. The actual numbers are 58% of married men have that fantasy. Surprisingly, 33% of wives have that same fantasy, being with another man in front of her husband. Another stat that came out of the study, that doesn't surprise me, is that 72% of wives in a long term marriage, secretly fantasize about friends' husbands, husband's friends, friends, and work colleagues. It wasn't mentioned in the study, but I suspect husbands in those long term marriages have the same type of fantasies.

So your husband and you are not alone in this fantasy. He is not a pervert. He just wants to see you pleasured. The secret is open communication, with no judgements. In my earlier days, I was with a number of cuckold relationships, where they were loving and consensual, and they were walking this road together, side by side as equals. The secret to the success of these relationships is the core bond between husband and wife. That needs to remain strong, or this won't work in the long term.
I've been a Hot Wife for 30 years, so it follows that my husband has been a cuckold for the same length of time. We love one another as much today as when we both said "I do" all those years ago. For the first 2 years of our marriage, we were a conventional couple, despite Richard's lack of size and his prem. ej. When he suggested that I find a better equipped lover, I was furious. Eventually we started down the swinger's route, but his tiny cock and its habit of going off after about 90 seconds put an end to that, and we dipped our toes into cuckoldry. Am I glad that we did! Not only has fucking other men brought Richard and me great pleasure, it has also helped me find my more dominant side. Richard is now permanently cock locked, and hasn't had p in v sex for over 25 years. He does however fluff any boyfriend who is willing and is an expert at eating cream pie. I milk him every week. He also likes to be allowed to watch. Our lifestyle isn't for everyone, but we love it. It is 100% consensual and it suits us perfectly.
 
I've been a Hot Wife for 30 years, so it follows that my husband has been a cuckold for the same length of time. We love one another as much today as when we both said "I do" all those years ago. For the first 2 years of our marriage, we were a conventional couple, despite Richard's lack of size and his prem. ej. When he suggested that I find a better equipped lover, I was furious. Eventually we started down the swinger's route, but his tiny cock and its habit of going off after about 90 seconds put an end to that, and we dipped our toes into cuckoldry. Am I glad that we did! Not only has fucking other men brought Richard and me great pleasure, it has also helped me find my more dominant side. Richard is now permanently cock locked, and hasn't had p in v sex for over 25 years. He does however fluff any boyfriend who is willing and is an expert at eating cream pie. I milk him every week. He also likes to be allowed to watch. Our lifestyle isn't for everyone, but we love it. It is 100% consensual and it suits us perfectly.

Every couple needs to find their own center and what works for them, and it is different for almost every one. Personally, I spent a number of years when I was younger, in the lifestyle. Never saw a cage or implied chastity. Got fluffed and blown quite often, and saw a lot of creampie eating. And, more than a few times, especially if she had been pegging him, I was asked to bend him over and do him. Maybe it is because it was my preference, I ended up with couples in more gentle, loving and consensual relationships, where sometimes he reclaimed her while I was still there (sloppy seconds). Anyway, fond memories. Do what works for you
 
It is also a real thing - the woman that wants to watch her husband with other women is called a "cuckquean." But it's just not as prominent as the hotwife version.
I'd like to see some kind of survey about this, but I would believe that the number of wives wanting to see their husband with another woman is a lot lower. My wife knows I always get off thinking of being her cuckold, and we've had some hot MFM 3sums in the past. But she has said, "I'd never want to see you with another woman.
 
We all know the traditional definition, and how it arose. However, your definition includes a broad spectrum of non-traditional marriages/relationships, including swinging, swapping, threesomes, open marriages, sharing, and any variation on any of the above. Of course, that is the definition that the mentally deficient trolls down in LW use when they spew their trash
Where does the HOT wife come in to play? Maybe that's a cuckold who LOVES his wife fucking other guys. A husband like me who only gets off thinking of other men fucking my wife. The wife just being a slut wife. Me, being the modern-day cuckold.
 
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Given the choice, I would prefer not to be cuckolded. I have been by numerous women and wives but while I have achieved sexual gratification from living the experience and recapping it I apparently do not carry some of the baggage that comes with it very well. One example, I had a young bride that was being seduced by an older gentleman. My efforts to help her sort out her feelings most likely assisted in him bedding her. Once it happen she felt the need to share details that at the time lead to some intense fucking of our own but details I had trouble shaking off as time passed. My hang up, not hers but not really fair to her so we went our separate ways.
 
Given the choice, I would prefer not to be cuckolded. I have been by numerous women and wives but while I have achieved sexual gratification from living the experience and recapping it I apparently do not carry some of the baggage that comes with it very well. One example, I had a young bride that was being seduced by an older gentleman. My efforts to help her sort out her feelings most likely assisted in him bedding her. Once it happen she felt the need to share details that at the time lead to some intense fucking of our own but details I had trouble shaking off as time passed. My hang up, not hers but not really fair to her so we went our separate ways.
If you don't mind me asking, what details did you have trouble shaking?
 
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