Curious

[Pure]

FU said, I consider myself to be more D/s than "BDSM" anyway. BDSM works for me as an umbrella term.

I do not understand the first sentence. What do you think BDSM means? Do it mean some one who practices all six items indicated?

I heard Netzach--along your lines-- approve of similar sentiments from osg.

What the f*** does it mean. Someone is saying I'm *really* into dominance, and it's so heavy it's not part of Dominance/Submission as indicated in BDSM.

I guess this is like Netach's earlier suggestion: If you're TOO damn sadistic, then that's not BDSM, because this (BDSM) SADISM is pretty civilized, without major pain or harm, and the inflictee thanks the person afterward.

Now the expression 'vanilla BDSM' {{better: 'respectable, mainstream BDS<}}makes sense. It means you practice in a manner that is Oh-So-Polite, non-extreme, explicitly-consented-to by a normal healthy person, one or more of the following: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism or masochism.

Unless I misread osg, that's kind of what she's saying: Let BDSM refer to the middle ground, then OUTSIDE of it, will be the 24/7, the whole-hoggers, and the extreme cases.

Weird.

 

[Netzach]

I'm more than happy for BDSM to evolve and change -- I consider myself to be more D/s than "BDSM" anyway. BDSM works for me as an umbrella term.

But there's also a point where we have to recognise that BDSM is NOT all-encompassing. It overlaps many sexualities, but that doesn't make them BDSM. Some things deserve their own label.

A very good point. The flip side to what I'm saying is that I think we may do many fetishes disesrvice when we try to run them through a BDSM mill.

 

[Netzach]

Now the expression 'vanilla BDSM' makes sense

.... explicitly-consented-to by a normal healthy person, one or more of the following: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism or masochism.


Weird.
[/B]

Yep. That's how I do it.

And I'd love to know how that's vanilla or weird.

 

[FungiUg]

FU said, I consider myself to be more D/s than "BDSM" anyway. BDSM works for me as an umbrella term.

I do not understand the first sentence. What do you think BDSM means? Do it mean some one who practices all six items indicated?

Er... in a later post I do say what I consider BDSM. An "umbrella term" that includes various things, of which D/s (which I am in to) is one. So because I am into D/s, I am into BDSM, but I generally say D/s to distinguish from all of the other parts of BDSM (like B&D, S&M.)

Make sense, or do I need to expand on that?

 

[Netzach]

And furthermore

I'm extremely exhausted by being categorized as tame, and those who enjoy said acitvities explicitly consented to. You know what, you are right. We are the least imaginitive, least sexually adventuresome people that ever walked the earth if we found the non-con elements of DeSade or O stomach turning instead of hot, if brainwashing mind control and eliminating the option of limits is not on our agendas, and if we, heaven forfend, enter into a scene or a relationship out of mutual fetishes mutually enjoyed.

I might as well be a red-state missionary fuckee trying to make babies because I suggested that perhaps I don't have a lot in common with people who eroticize snuff or 24/7 objectification.

It's this percise kind of thinking that has me in a reactionary crank mood. Call it my sudden rush of conservatism.

 

[FungiUg]

Damn, but I wish all conservatives were as cute and sexy and fun as you!

 

[Marquis]

Hey as long as you don't start voting Republican you're cool with me.

 

[Slut_loves_pain]

can I be a shameless attention seeker

and ask if my post made any sense at all???
I often dont get any fb from this mb and sometimes feel like I must be dumb and missing the point lol, so this time just once I thought I'd ask

 

[Netzach]

Re: can I be a shameless attention seeker

and ask if my post made any sense at all???
I often dont get any fb from this mb and sometimes feel like I must be dumb and missing the point lol, so this time just once I thought I'd ask

It made total sense to me, and your fantasies and fetishes are fine by me, not that they need a stamp of approval. In most ways I agree with you, I'm just kind of in a questioning phase about some of these things.

 

[Netzach]

Hey as long as you don't start voting Republican you're cool with me.

No fucking danger there.

 

[rosco rathbone]

No fucking danger there.

Yeah...that's how it starts.

 

[Marquis]

Before you know it you're watching Fox News.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Knowing the difference between Kyle and Richard Petty.

 

[Marquis]

Listening to Tim McGraw and drinking Bud Light.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Stop it: you are killing me!

 

[Marquis]

Quitter.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I can't front. I am a Yo La Tengo listening city geek boy. If my car broke down on the interstate in the pouring rain, I'd have to flag down Netz's limo to save me , although I'm sure the driver would actually be the one to get out and swap out the carburetor or change the wheel or whatever it is they do; while she reclined in the back buffing her nails and listening to Gyn/ Ecology on "books on tape".

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... while she reclined in the back buffing her nails and listening to Gyn/ Ecology on "books on tape".

Whisper this mantra to yourself Gaston, "Her strap-on is bigger than me ..."

 

[Marquis]

Rosco, I'm sorry I missed that opportunity to meet you while I was in NY man.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Whisper this mantra Gaston ... "Her strap-on is bigger than me ..."

Shift change at the chocolate factory already? I'll stand you to a fizzy lemonade at the candy commissary.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Shift change at the chocolate factory already? I'll stand you to a fizzy lemonade at the candy commissary.

Nay sweetums, and us old folks can't handle that carbonated crap. It interferes with all the prescriptions we get bootlegged out of Canada. Speaking of which, when is your next smuggling run for Viagra?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Cafe is over there, guys!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Rosco, I'm sorry I missed that opportunity to meet you while I was in NY man.

We'll meet up on the next big job....

 

[Guest]

Nay sweetums, and us old folks can't handle that carbonated crap. It interferes with all the prescriptions we get bootlegged out of Canada. Speaking of which, when is your next smuggling run for Viagra?

Don't foget the Ghinko Biloba...So you can remember the Viagra..

 

[RJMasters]

I'm not sure I can agree with you. If you get someone's perversion and why it may appeal to them, how can you then tell them they are fucked up and also claim open mindedness? Telling someone they are fucked up because of their preferences (and remember many on the General Board and mainstream community will tell you you are FU because you are interested in being part of this community), is judgemental and based solely on your reality. It is the same process gays have had to fight for years and still have to live with and hope they are not killed for it.

Not wanting to participate in the same activity does not mean those that do are fucked up...it just means they differ from you in some way. I believe in someone saying it is not their way or not for them for whatever reason, but once you start declaring who is OK and who is FU based on your preferences, beliefs, and personal tastes, it is being closed minded.

It is not unusual when you come up against things you have not previously been exposed to before, or at least not in a place where people have not felt the need to try and hide their thoughts, to at first feel shocked or repulsed by some things.....but that requires realising not everyone is you, we all differ and accepting just as you don't want to be called something derogatory because you don't share another's particular kink (and you have voiced your view you have a right to be accepted), so should as you say, the favour be returned. It doesn't just go one way. Acceptance does not mean you have to agree or join, just honour another's rights.

I do not abide with murder or pedophelia either, but nor do I agree with governments policing our bedrooms. It is not that many years since it was illegal to have anal sex (heterosexual or otherwise), and I believe it is still illegal in places.....does that mean those that did were bad and immoral? Add to that in your own country in certain states it is illegal to buy or sell a vibrator.....immoral? In some countries adultry or even the thought of it is punishable by death....do you think that is OK? Open minded is appreciating others may differ from you and though you may not share their difference or feel it is great, as you say, you honour their right to have it....and that does not mean, "yeah sure, you can think that way or do that and I will accept it as your right, but be warned I am going to support anyone who wants to punish you for it'.

Catalina

---------------
I do not think I have to accept everything in order to be considered open minded. In fact part of things which I refuse to accept equally defines me as much as the things I do.
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Call me closed minded, and feel free to disagree.

Just because I understand something, does not mean I have to give consent to it.

I am tired that no one can ever make a stand on solid ground anymore or what they feel is right or wrong. Fuck that! I am tired that everything must be accepted on the grounds of political correctness, tolerance and open mindedness.

When ever someone takes a stand, they are immediately labeled as the bad guy and lumped into those who persucuted every repressed people that ever lived. They are made into a villain for thinking there are things which are wrong or right. What is ironic is how closed minded that actually is. There are laws of nature, there are laws in which we live by, and there is a code of honor each of us must face when we lay our heads on the pillow at night.

I go out of my way to not force my moral code of right and wrong on others. So do me a favor and don't try to force me to be open minded and there by accept every depraved thing that mankind can devise.

As I said to Pure...I am guilty as charged....knowing this about me...you can choose to get to know me and understand where I draw my lines, or not. I believe in RISK and Safe, Sane, and Consentual, and of these three I try to keep an open mind when it comes to what is sane and what isn't.

But if your so open minded, then you must accept someone who believes strongly that no consent is neccessary. If your going to point at me and say I am wrong for drawing lines of what I am willing to accept or not, then...then let's face the music together.

Let's be accepting and not judging of:

~people who think no consent is needed.
~people who think there is no need to ensure a person's safety or life is cared about.
~people who rape and molest children
~people who want to kill others

and making it personal...all in the name of being open minded...its ok for me not to judge or accept that your neighbor can come over and shoot your Master and then rape and kill you...and I should be accepting of that right? No fucking way.

Lines must be drawn somewhere by someone...and you can argue all you want over "what gives me the right to draw the line where I do." But unless your prepared to be 100% open minded, don't try to hide behind self-rightious liberalism and label me the bad guy.

If there is no such thing as absolute right or wrong then its ok for me to throw boiling grease on you and watch you writh in agony until you die of third degree burns...right?

so try re-reading what I said again...

I do not think I have to accept everything in order to be considered open minded. In fact part of things which I refuse to accept equally defines me as much as the things I do.

My point is...you draw lines too...we all do...that is reality.