Cybering while in a committed relationship.

[Meat Whistler]

Would you consider it as something to add to your box of foreplay tricks? Or something special you'd pull on rare occasions?

What I'm exploring here is possibilities. Can cybering be used as a method of foreplay. Would couples that normally wouldn't dream of swinging think cybering a safer alternative etc...

I agree with the above statements by ozraven.

To answer your other questions, if my partner were interested in utilizing cyber as a form of foreplay, I suppose I would be up to try something like that. However, I can't imagine it being enjoyable without his/her involvement (meaning, us touching while we cybered with someone else). I don't think I could cyber separate from my partner for numerous reasons, though.

I would be much more open to utilizing cyber or even phone sex as an alternative to swinging. I'm definitely not interested in conventional swinging, but the whole phone sex while being stimulated by my lover idea is a turn-on.

 

[Mamid]

cyberplay is very safe.

no stds (computer virii don't count)
no chance of pregnancy
no real mindfuck

More like an interactive seedy romance novel. If you like it, do it.

If things get too heavy, you can always hit the off switch.

 

[Anopheles]

Well, when you put it THAT way.....

I once gave my partner a lovely blow job while he had phone sex with a friend of ours. It was a lot of fun and actually, a little overwhelming for him I think. He was totaly overstimulated. *cheshire cat grin*

Another time -- I was a participant in two couples having phone sex together ...[speaker phones]. We were all very good friends beforehand and one from each couple made the prior arrangements -- kind of like a "date." Discussing what was going on at each end and listening to each other...Again, it was all in the spirit of good fun and created a heightened arousal for all involved.

....fond memories, that.

I gotta agree with you there. The only time I really ever got off to cybering was my wife and I were having sex while chatting with another couple that we had been with that were having sex at the same time. That was HOT!

But in terms of masturbating while doing so, it doesn't hold much excitement. Certainly I like to talk dirty and hear other folks naughty thoughts, and there may be things said that I may think about in real life in some intimate expereience, whether it be sex with someone or masturbation, but jerkng it while chatting to someone? Sorry, no thrill there for me. I can say that I have 'cybered' with someone while they masturbated, but I didn't do anything myself but type.

Besides, typing with one hand is really hard

 

[Bandit58]

I started cybering when I was married because there was so much lacking in the marriage. No intimacy, no pleasure, absolutely zilch. When we split (not over the cyber, that was just a symptom) I went kind of crazy and did it a lot for the next month or so.....exploring mainly. Then I met someone online and almost immediately lost the need to do it with anyone except him.

Now that I'm living with the man I love, I haven't bothered. Sure it's nice to flirt a little with people, but now I get all the love and intimacy and pleasure I need from Gil. Hehe maybe we should try what English Lady and her hubby do.....

 

[babydoll2u]

It's cheating.

The only time it isn't is if you are doing it with your partner or with your partners knowledge (in our case occasional co-operation ).

It's a simple call really.........

Would you partner be hurt if they found out?

The answer to that is the answer to the question.

I agree totally with you ozraven

 

[Mamid]

Mine knows that a net friend of ours and I cyber at random intervals - basically when both of us are able to do it. No consent is needed because I have been in that relationship for far longer than I have been in ours.

A scarier fact is that the two of them get together online and plot things for DP to do to me! AUGH!

Then there's DP that came up to me just shortly before DD was born and told me of a cyber he did of a (then) friend of ours just the week before she was to get married to her now husband. "would you be upset if I told you that....?" why would I be upset if he got his rocks off when I wasn't able to do it for him so long as he took safety precautions first?

And a computer is a wonderful safety precaution. Distance is a great way to keep STDs at bay and prevent fetal errors.

(gauds... cousin? husband? I must be tired)

 

[dragon_gurl]

Cybering

It's cheating.

The only time it isn't is if you are doing it with your partner or with your partners knowledge (in our case occasional co-operation ).

It's a simple call really.........

Would you partner be hurt if they found out?

The answer to that is the answer to the question.

I think this is the key here..... I have never in my adult life expeirenced Jealousy... But recently i discovered my S.O. (who i recently moved 5 hours away from my family, and 3 hours from my closest friends to live with) was having rather graphic sexual conversation with a girl online that he, myself and her boyfriend had al been out together just a week prior... I was pissed.

If you are doing that and feel you have t hide it from your partner... then you probably shouldn't be. If your partner is cool with it, then have at it. My main issue is i felt it was disrespectful to both myself and her boyfriend. Plus he lied to me about it when i asked him directly so that didn't help/.

 

[h_i_s]

i don't cyber. i don't believe in it, and have no need for it. When i masturbate, it's my Master who watches me ( and then some ) i have no need , nor desire , nor energy for anyone else's needs being added to my equation here.

And yes, if your partner doesn't know you cyber with people online, it is cheating .. IMHO. And yes, i have done it..... when i was involved with my EX (that friggid piece of shit... what a waste of 5 years of my life) i will never claim it to be NOT cheating though... regardless of the reason for seeking pleasure elsewhere. i don't regret having cheated on his worthless ass at all though. Best thing i ever did was leave the EX. Bets part was, i did it for me, not another man. i dumped BOTH of their asses. Tooka LONG break from the whole relationship stuff .... then found the Love of my life/Man of my DREAMS.

--It may not be physical, but it is a breech of trust. It is STILL cheating.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess I am fortunate to be in a relationship where any sort of foreplay we want to experience is together and not likely to be cybering. We have a rule that nothing happens with anyone else without both of us being present and knowing. We even tell each other if we are contacted by a former partner and share the communication with each other. If either of us felt the need to cyber outside the relationship I think it would be time to look at what the real problem was. Others are different but for us we don't really have romantic or sexual eyes for others.

Catalina

 

[Bobmi357]

OK It seems that some people still aren't getting what I'm talking about.

Let me state I agree wholeheartedly that cybering and hiding it from your partner is, in my book, wrong. But having said that, what I'm talking about is more simple. Not cybering with your partner....

Rather, this.

You and your partner cyber together. He or she, types or talks with some nameless person you've picked up in a chatroom and your partner performs or does to you whatever that nameless third party says he/she would like to do.

Now does it make sense? I don't mean cybering with your partner, but cybering together....

 

[catalina_francisco]

If doing it with your partner, it is then up to your partner to decide if it is an okay way to go IMHO. Asking anonymous people on a board if it is a good idea is beside the point if your partner doesn't think it is. If we all say it is a wonderful idea, and the partner doesn't agree, for me that would rule out a million yes posts. As to foreplay, I guess it could be that if it is what you are both going to enjoy. For some it could become contentious if it became too much of a regular thing, or if one found it more interesting than the simple one on one relationship with the SO.

Catalina

 

[Saoirse]

When I first came to chatrooms I was like a kid in a sweet shop. Hubby knew I was online so there was nothing to hide. I used to use cybering as foreplay ...... get really hot and horny online and then pounce on him!!! But that, like everything, has its time and it gets boring. It was a phase.... and I grew out of it.

Now I dont cyber. I prefer frank and open discussion... exchanges of a sexual nature...opening my mind to possibilities that maybe I hadnt thought of... or that I thought were too kinky only to discover that everyone else is doing them too!!!

I met a wonderful man online 3 years ago and count myself extremely lucky to have found him. He has been the most marvellous influence on my life and continues to amaze me on an ongoing basis. Hubby knows about him, indeed they have met.

With both of these wonderful guys in my life, I have no need to cyber anymore. I have no desire any more to give some faceless man his jollies!!!!

Just my tuppence hal'penny worth!!!

 

[LadyTemptress]

You and your partner cyber together. He or she, types or talks with some nameless person you've picked up in a chatroom and your partner performs or does to you whatever that nameless third party says he/she would like to do.

Yes that is a lot of fun and we have done it that way with someone we don't know. Before we became swingers we used to go to the chat rooms for just kicks. Now we prefer to play around with people we might actually meet that we found on the swinger site we go to.

Not long ago we did this, I typed and hubby took pics with the digital. Made for a very hot night of fun. Plus we get a big rush when we can come up with a really hot line and the guy on the monitor goes "OMG thats hot!!!"

We have never actually followed the directions of the third party but that is an interesting idea.

 

[Eritz]

Cybering with your girlfriend in my experience can be a rewarding thing to do, but maybe thats because at the time we both lived far apart and could only see each other on the occasional weekend. A bit of spicey sex talk over the internet helped to keep us in touch and those fires burning hot.

I've never cybered someone else whilst in a relationship before, probably just due to circumstance more than anything else. It's one of those things that I would consider as long as all parties are honest then pretty much anything can go. I've cybered with a girl recently who is in a relationship and she admitted at one point that what she was talking about he would consider cheating, however that hasn't stopped her later on setting up a webcam and giving me something a bit more than some text to look at!

 

[Halo_n_horns]

There's a woman that I cyber with during each work day. I've gotten really good at pushing her buttons over the IM, and have gotten her to the point of masturbating at work twice to relieve how excited I got her.

During this process it's all about her. I don't masturbate while doing this with her, and I do share the experiences with my wife and she and I talk about how I got this other woman to her pinnacle, and that usually turns into some fun for us.