D/s W/O BDSM!

[Phoenix Stone]

Re: Hope it helps

I know this falls out of many people's rules in Domination, but...

I praticed light BDSM in my first experiences with a Domme/sub I knew (switch?)... But, as we found out, I was much more into it when I was dominating another slave she had, a woman so little experienced as myself then. I was becoming harder with her. What really got her to experience submission much deeper (that was one of your questions, as I understood them) was the day she had become too submissive to switch. I was on my knees naked and she had a whip, but didn't do anythiing. I told her "loose the whip". She obeyed. Told her to be on her knees, and she did it too. I got up and never have I been a sub again. Nor she a domme.

The "last switch", you can say, was the non-painful experience she needed.

Um, well, yeah... I like. Your story did it for me. Thanks!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Bumpin, bumpin', bumpin'...

...keep them threads abumpin'... Rawhide!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

 

[shy slave]

"...exposing yourself as much as can be done in different ways. Allowing another to see any physical flaw you may have up close and personal in an exam, someone looking at you as you've likely never been looked at before.
Humiliation is exposing your mental flaws, your fears, your most inner wants and desires, things that no one else in the world may ever see. Exposing yourself more to someone than just taking your clothes off could ever expose you. I think that being willing to be humiliated and show yourself that way is a wonderful thing. "

This is a wonderful way of expressing the humilation, I wish I had said that!!!

Some of things on the two lists were a surprise to me, partly because it was things I did in a very vanilla marriega, yet I never realised I was being submissive.
Have read parts of the list out to Him. We agreed that some things I would not find humiliating, just funny!!
For example kissing His seat once He stood up.

Have been thinking about what I find humiliating and realise alot is to do with the time/place aspect.

(1)Being ordered to be spread naked on the table (not necessarily tied down) and then ignored for a period of time. Him occassionaly checking me over to see how wet/ embarrassed I am would be VERY humiliating
(2)Being made to stand in a corner, head down reciting particular passage from book/play (why would that be humiliating *shrug* who knows, but it would).
(3)Not being allowed to wear underwear when out, rubbing myself on the chair I am sitting on ~back/forward ~ but not allowed to orgasm.
(4)Being taunted when a scene is reaching my limits with words such as "Can't you take it, do you want to use your safe word huh". Oh it makes me so mad when He does that. I feel humiliated that I can take so little before wanting it to stop; inevitably it makse the scene continue out of my shear bloody mindedness!

Humiliation like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One what suits one doesn't always suit another.

I really do believe that everyone is weird/odd/strange in their own way both sexually or non-sexually.
Its great that there is room for all of us
edited for the dreadful spelling of the word humiliation

 

[shy slave]

If you want to insist you're playing a more "lite" game than most here, simply because you're not playing as often, go ahead, I just beg to differ, and I think the extremity of what you seek is part of why it's harder to get than a spanking.

This makes sense to me. Its often harder to get what you want, as oppose to what somone else wants to do to you.

 

[shy slave]

Don't think I see it so much as bottoming from the top as recognising a Dominant has the right to do what s/he pleases. It really doesn't come down to whether the submissive thinks it appropriate or not as they are not the ones in charge, the Dominant is, so they are not bottoming as much as enjoying their toy in the way which pleases them to. If it is a limit that has been stated previously, then it goes into a whole new area of discussion about consent , pushing limits, etc.

I can accept to a certain degree that the Dominant is in charge, but only because the sub/slave has agreed to it beforehand.
Agreement comes from either compliance, verbal or written consent.

I disagree completely with this statement:
a Dominant has the right to do what s/he pleases

Without consent it is abuse. Someone new to the scene could easily think that a sub will 'have' to take anything they choose to give, simply becasue they are a sub.
The sub/slave needs to get something out of it.
I enjoy humiliation, having my limits pushed just beyond bearable with pain, being used by Him as a slut or piece of furniture.
If I did not get something out of it, there would be no point in being a sub/slave. Instead I would be one of many women in relationships where he takes advantage of her goodwill and uses her as he sees fit, whether she had an opinion on it or not.