Defining service oriented submission

[graceanne]

I think that being a service oriented sub means finding what service makes the person you're serving happy, and doing it. If that person doesn't want you to cook for them, and you do it anyway you're not serving them. I have one lady I help take care of - cleaning her kitchen makes her happiest. She likes to cook and does not want me to cook for her. My sister likes it when I organize her cupboards for her, but she DETESTS it when anyone cleans her kitchen (she's kinda picky about how things are done). And, quite frankly, a blow job makes K happier than a clean house (although he likes that too). I sure wouldn't try to give my sister a blow job.

 

[Netzach]

To me a service oriented submissive is a submissive who defines himself or herself more by what they do for the owner/top than by what they allow that owner/top to do to them. I'm frankly always more interested in the former than the latter. I can always find some crazy fucker who wants me to cut off his nuts and cage him and throw away the key. A good pedicure and someone to get the movies I like into the netflix queue is way better.

 

[intothewoods]

bump

*thinking*

 

[BiBunny]

bump

*thinking*

Whatcha thinking?

 

[midwestyankee]

Whatcha thinking?

Indeed. Inquiring minds want to know - along with the rest of us whose minds are basically shot.

 

[graceanne]

bump

*thinking*

Oh, that's what that smell was.

 

[intothewoods]

Oh, that's what that smell was.

Ha!

Indeed. Inquiring minds want to know - along with the rest of us whose minds are basically shot.

insert stern smiley here.

Whatcha thinking?

Oh, nothing exciting. I was just thinking about service and how it kind of centers me when things get crazy in our world.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

As I identify as a slave, it's not surprise that I'm service oriented. I'm not so good at that in the conventional or perhaps assumed sense however. We do not live in a spotless house, far from it, but enough gets done to keep the domestic side of things running smoothly and Master isn't picky about housework or tidiness.

I'm much more service oriented in an inter-personal sense. Master has been battling depression on and off for years and his moods can change dramatically. What he finds helpful and what he finds interfering and oppressive also changes. Sometimes he wants hugs and support, other times he needs to be left the fuck alone. So those are the things I focus on.

I do plan to do better with the chores, but lately he's not picked up on it or demanded an improvement, which unfortunately makes me lazy.

 

[00Syd]

I'm not at all serivce oriented as a submissive, but I do find myself much more willing to do household chores like cooking and cleaning and the like when I'm in a relationship and its for the person I'm in the relationship with. This is true of both vanilla and bdsm relationships. I think it has less to do with some submissive aspect of me and more to do with caring, in general.

 

[MichaelWest]

Ode to the Service Slave

About the only thing that brings out the safe word from my submissive is housework, LOL. She is not service oriented as far as doing laundry, cleaning or other such tasks. Perhaps that makes her a "bad" (vanilla) housewife, but since she would love to find another submissive to do those tasks it makes her a great kinky wife! So for us, we would love to meet a submissive who gets wet at the thought of laundry, finds the vacuum a true sex toy and orgasms after cleaning a room! ;-) Is that too vanilla of me?

Alas, I have a maids who do all that work and in between their visits I do it myself. I find her no less submissive for not being a housekeeper, nor do I feel less dominant when I dust my own furniture. Dominant and submissive relationships are what the participants make of them.

 

[nh23]

I'm very service oriented. I wouldn't link it with my submission though. I was that way when I was in a vanilla marriage. I feel content taking care of others, and part of that for me is doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning.

 

[Adakgirl]

When someone says they are a "service oriented" submissive, what impression does that make upon you, or how do you define that phrase in your own mind?

In my own mind, I view submissives as people who, by their very nature, are service orientated in one way or another. When they define their submission as being service orientated, I take that to mean their submission revolves around their need and desire to serve their PYL's by performing physical chores and carrying out day to day work in accordance with their PLY's wishes. They can provide this service either with or without love or with or without any sexual involvement.

Excellent thoughts by David Stein, thank's for that link JM

 

[intothewoods]

I'm very service oriented. I wouldn't link it with my submission though. I was that way when I was in a vanilla marriage. I feel content taking care of others, and part of that for me is doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning.

This is probably what makes me go hmmmm. Is service a submission thing or a traditional wife thing? Or both? I dunno.

 

[BiBunny]

I consider myself service-oriented, but I don't really define it by cooking and cleaning. It's not that I won't do those things, obviously, but I don't think it's the be-all and end-all, either.

In our little trio, Mistress does the majority of the cooking and cleaning. I don't live with them, of course, so any contribution from me is part-time. Mistress enjoys cooking; it de-stresses her. I don't mind cooking, but it doesn't make me happy the way it does her. So I'm content to let her handle things in the kitchen and chop onions or hand her the butter or whatever at her request. I'm also the one to clean the kitchen and load and unload the dishwasher when she finishes cooking.

The kitchen is my domain for baking, however. *Grin* Baking relaxes me like cooking relaxes her. The day Mistress requested brownies, and I made her some was great. I added my extra-special chocolate mocha icing, and both of them raved. I was happy beyond belief.

She also does most of the cleaning. This is because she has a certain way that she wants it done and is only happy when she's the one doing it. Master and I don't really give a rat's ass about neatness or cleanness, so we just do the things she delegates to us.

And now I don't sound like much of a service-oriented pet at all, LOL.

But service, for me, tends to revolve around things like rubbing Master's feet when he's tired or giving Mistress a pedicure because she doesn't do such a hot job at it herself. I also do all the laundry in the house because it's a chore that both of them absolutely hate. I don't mind doing it because, of all the household chores I could be stuck with, laundry is pretty mild, in my opinion. Even if they are bad about letting it build up until they have no more underwear and socks left, and it takes me three days to do it all.

My servitude is more of a personal assistant kind of thing than a maid kind of thing, but I think service is service nonetheless.

Doing things for them, no matter what those things happen to be, relax me and help me feel as if I'm being true to my inner nature. Many things that work for other people in their relationships make me feel sick and unnecessarily constrained, like rules and dress codes and protocols. Lucky for me, they don't give a damn what I'm wearing as long as they have clean drawers to wear.