Desultory and Impulsive

best post of the week (so far)!

edited to note: while it isn't nearly enough it is progress and progress has to start somewhere - so i think while it is what it is, it is a start. and hopefully it becomes something more.

Hopefully indeed.
 
What's a good way to get over someone that wants little-to-nothing to do with you?
 
You just want a reflex hard. Like exhaling. And SPROING!

More like a morning wood hard. That fuck swollen feel. The kind where your cock reminds you... "Hey. I go into women"

There's such a heaviness to it. A density. Coupled with full slack balls that just hang or drape over your thigh as you lay, hips slight cocked the side. Bottom leg frog legged out.

The heat of it.
Just laying there
Wanting
Well before the rest of you does.
 
He looked at her as she drank her tea
Her lips
Her hair
How her hand held the cup

And how she
Held her self

Her poise
The existence of her

In space
And in time

An artifact of what artists paint
Sculptors sculpt
And what writers see
...eyes fixed on nothing in the distance
Minds wrapped so firmly around
That beautiful nothing
They so hope
Words
Possess the ability
To capture

Living
Breathing

A her

Such thought
Captured in a woman

There before him

With a spark life inside
That he wanted to speak to
And hold

And hold that look she gave him

To keep it in a jar
...or envelope
That he could tuck away
Within the breast-pocket of his jacket

Like a weapon
He could draw
Against any
Seeking transgression

And they would see in him
...with her so close to his heart
Exactly what love was.
 
Had one of those dreams where I woke up angry at my wife

Long story short

My dream got to the point where I had to take a piss

A risky endeavor between dream and reality worlds.

But I went with it
And it was the longest most satisfying pisses in the world. Multiple starts and stops. Moments when I thought was done but wasn't and it all felt so fucking good. Even now I'm wondering how I can replicate and chase the experience I felt.

But as I was sensing I was nearing the end I looked down to watch my stream of piss to be all like "Au revoir my beautiful experience!"

And I was pissing like 10 feet away from my body. Not like a fire hose or anything. Just a normal gentle stream that was just stretched out further.

But as I was watching myself pissing I noticed the color change from a perfect golden yellow to pinkish then red then like... rust red.

I was like... holy fuck. And put my hand in the stream and it came up unmistakably as blood.

So... I went to my wife and was like "you gotta take me to the hospital. I'm pissing blood" and she's all like. "Oh. Okay."

So on the way to the car we pass a food truck and there's a couple of guys in line talking.

The one guy was telling the other about how he partakes smoking weed etc... but the best high he got was eating the edibles he figured out how to perfect. All the more, he had a missing tooth and he'd just pack the socket with the edible. Provided a more direct sustained release.

The other guy wasn't really interested in his story. My wife, being one with a voracious thirst for knowledge was all about it. And the guy was like "hey... would you like some?"

Now... my wife opts not to partake in real life. With rare exceptions

So in my dream she says yes. Fine. I don't care.

As she talking to the guy she begins eating it and I'm like "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! MY INSIDES ARE DISSOLVING AND YOU THINK NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO BE ALL COLLEGE-GIRL AND GET EXPERIMENTAL WITH PERCEPTION!?"

And I woke up and was all like "Honest to fuck woman."
 
Ha! My guy is a dick in my dreams. I wake up pissed off.

For me it's usually some kind of betrayal of character.

And then I feel like a dick and guilt myself into believing I'm holding her back.

I lose across the whole goddamn board
 
Let me know when you figure it out?

I wish I knew. Fara has a load of snarky answers. Me? Not so much.
I’ll wait here with the rest of you for any dropped pearls.

I've been listening to podcasts.

From what I'm able to gather thus far is that one must come to terms that what was once needed (by them) is thus no longer needed or required for their own personal growth.

This is of course a difficult pill to swallow as it puts a person in the position of feeling insignificant and used.

This of course isn't the case.

Imagine yourself as a record they were really into. Listened to you daily. You provided the soundtract to whatever important part of their life they were experiencing. You provided them with everything they needed to hear and feel. Even the less popular songs on your track list provided them with something during uncertain times.

Then... they got better. Grew into themselves. Moved on to a new album. Perhaps went back to revisit an old one.

And yeah it fucking sucks being taken out of regular rotation.

But you know fucking what? Goddamn it you are a great album. And the songs on and in you will never ever be repeated or replicated by anyone else.

And it's not your job to reach out to them. All you gotta do is be what you are should they ever need you to be what you meant to them when they first picked you up.
 
From what I'm able to gather thus far is that one must come to terms that what was once needed (by them) is thus no longer needed or required for their own personal growth.

This is of course a difficult pill to swallow as it puts a person in the position of feeling insignificant and used.

This of course isn't the case.

Imagine yourself as a record they were really into. Listened to you daily. You provided the soundtract to whatever important part of their life they were experiencing. You provided them with everything they needed to hear and feel. Even the less popular songs on your track list provided them with something during uncertain times.

Then... they got better. Grew into themselves. Moved on to a new album. Perhaps went back to revisit an old one.

And yeah it fucking sucks being taken out of regular rotation.

But you know fucking what? Goddamn it you are a great album. And the songs on and in you will never ever be repeated or replicated by anyone else.

And it's not your job to reach out to them. All you gotta do is be what you are should they ever need you to be what you meant to them when they first picked you up.

Definitely one way to look at it...reframing. I’ll give it a try.
 
From what I'm able to gather thus far is that one must come to terms that what was once needed (by them) is thus no longer needed or required for their own personal growth.

This is of course a difficult pill to swallow as it puts a person in the position of feeling insignificant and used.

This of course isn't the case.

Imagine yourself as a record they were really into. Listened to you daily. You provided the soundtract to whatever important part of their life they were experiencing. You provided them with everything they needed to hear and feel. Even the less popular songs on your track list provided them with something during uncertain times.

Then... they got better. Grew into themselves. Moved on to a new album. Perhaps went back to revisit an old one.

And yeah it fucking sucks being taken out of regular rotation.

But you know fucking what? Goddamn it you are a great album. And the songs on and in you will never ever be repeated or replicated by anyone else.

And it's not your job to reach out to them. All you gotta do is be what you are should they ever need you to be what you meant to them when they first picked you up.

I think that's still being used, just a nicer way to describe it.

In my experience, if someone uses me, that reflects their character, not my qualities.
 
This
Is for the one
Who would rather
Cut their hand off
Than reach out to me
Ever again.



I love you.
 
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