Desultory and Impulsive

I wish I were the type to have developed the sense I were sharing my feelings through activities rather than through writing.
 
Feelings and thoughts.

Like if I could just shut up and shoot some hoops or play around of golf that would be great.

But no
I'm all typey-typey, messagey-messagey.
 
Feelings and thoughts.

Like if I could just shut up and shoot some hoops or play around of golf that would be great.

But no
I'm all typey-typey, messagey-messagey.

If by great you mean easier, I’ll give you that.
 
If by great you mean easier, I’ll give you that.

Extemporaneous stream of consciousness writing is quite easy for me. Which in turn makes me insufferable and exhausting at times.

On the court, fairway, kitchen, or stable there is no record left. No thoughts challenged. No emotions hurt. Just good game. good show. it was fun. Even if you sucked that particular day.


I was laying in bed thinking about this.

When and why did I subscribed to the belief/practice of getting it all out on the page rather than not on the court? Not by way of academic achievement?

I feel like I was duped somehow. Like if I were to write I'd whittle away at the angst and bullshit I felt.

Far fucking from it.

All it has done was lock me further inside my head. It's fucking bullshit.
 
Wow. I was really frustrated with myself in that last post.

Still am.


Life goes on.







It's Valentine's Day. Lonely people are sad. Couples are burdened with the task of expressing the right kind of love for each other. Neither of which is certain. Is it romantic love? Is it wanton lust?

Awkward sex will be had. It will finish. And then everyone goes back to checking their social media accounts and wordle or whateverthefuck.

And that's it. That's the day.




I like this day.
Not so much for the bullshit it's supposed to be like.

But rather in that it gets me to think about the love story of Eros and Psyche.

I wrote a little FanFic piece/series about it. I don't remember if it's in this thread or the last. Doesn't matter. It was back when I thought I was smarter than I am.

I'm no expert on Greek/Roman mythology and as such stories go there's many versions all stick to the same theme. Pretty human, jealous god, shit goes awry.

Basically Psyche is the pretty woman. Aphrodite is all like "who's this bitch? she can't be going after the sexy men I want! And I'll be damned if she's available to the sexy men that want her!" And she's all like "EROS!" And Eros is like "oh what now:rolleyes:" and Aphrodite says "see her? make her fall madly in love with something gross" and Eros is like "easy enough"

So night of the mission Eros is all cloak-and-dagger. Because that's how he works. You don't know when that shit hits you. And that's how he likes it.

So he's all up in his ninja skills being the dark within the night. And as he approaches her sleeping he's all "holy shit... she's... she's beautiful..."

But as myths go she's also psychic... Psyche. Psychic. Get it? I digress

So she stirs awake causing Eros to dart back into hiding. And Psyche is like "Who bath there be in thine chambers!"

Eros is all quiet but also like "shit yo." Because he's never been caught.

And as Psyche sits up in her bed. Her nightgown clinging to her naked body like wet silk in the moonlight, Eros feels something hot, wet and sticky running down the front of his chest. He runs his hand through it to see what it is in the moonlight. And upon seeing that it is blood he's all like "oh fuck. this is not good" for it is then when he realized in the haste of not being discovered he had run himself threw with his own arrow and who is but before him? Psyche.

And because she is... well... Psyche she; unable to see him through the darkness, looks straight into his eyes. And he's like... oh.... fuck.

Breaks the arrow end off. Pulls the rest of it through. Darts off.



Back home Aphrodite is like... "well?" And Eros is like "I don't want to talk about it." And Aphrodite is like "what? why." And Eros is like "I said I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

Aphrodite learns of his failure and sends the four winds to complete the task that he couldn't. And Psyche is whisked off into exile. Destination unknown.

Eros does what he can to maintain but he is absolutely madly in love with Psyche and burst through the chamber doors of Aphrodite disrupting her super awesome double anal gangbang and is all like "WHERE IS SHE!!!" And Aphrodite is all like "neeener neeener neeeeeener!"

And Eros is like... "You know what? Fuck you then."

A year passes. Springtime happens. Aphrodite opens the curtains to peer out upon the fertile blooming fields of the earth and what she sees...

What she sees....


Is absolute desolation.

No blooming flowers. No frolicking fawns. No baby bunnies. No... nothing that one longs to see after a long winter spell


And Aphrodite is like... "EROS!!!!!"

Already at the door to witness her horror of the beauty of his art he says to her "You gods do take me for granted. I've brought you all so much and in your revelry you forget that I too... am a god. You all... lost in your own immortality do not see or suffer the pains of death. Whereas I am there at the cradle of stillborn childern cutting open the hearts of parents. I am there in the homes of those that have lost ones upon the battlefields in the wars of which you have orchestrated. I am before the beginning. And I am after the end. Now look out upon your garden my sweet Aphrodite. Is this a game you wish to play?

Where.
Is.
Psyche?"


And so she told him.



And so... yeah. Happy Valentine's Day.
 
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In my house we use Valentine's Day as an excuse to consume themed sugar and that's about it.

I really enjoyed your retelling. "Fuck you then" indeed.

Thank you.
 
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I stood dead still in the dark
Clutching my chest
Blood of my heart
Running down the length of my arm

Invisible I was
As clear air
Is in the night sky

But yet
When I looked up upon her
Her eyes were looking into mine

And it was then when I felt the pain

Though still where I stood
I felt what was mortal of me
Walk towards her
As a silent breeze of the night
And caress her cheek
With the back of my hand

Her hand
Taking mine into it
Holding me like so
Against the beauty of her flesh
And being

I fell so into her
And felt --she, in her knowing
So into me

It was then I fled
Off into the night
Back amongst the stars






Yet she held me
All throughout the distance.
 
47 pages left
It seems doable

Post-wise; however, that's like... 1,196 posts

And that just feels fucking exhausting

It'd be cool to just knock this out though and be done done.
 
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