Disappointing Responses

[Boxlicker101]

How about - "A Delicious Pair of Nieces?"

and description: "Double the pleasure, double your fun?"

You don't HAVE to tell them it contains anal - let them discover that for themselves!

I have posted the first story about my nieces and it is doing fairly well so far as these things can be measured. I submitted the second story yesterday. Both the first two stories are about one niece and me. The third will involve both of them so I might use the description you suggested, or something like it. If I write a fourth one it will be about woman on woman sex. I have another incest story in the works and the title will be "My Granddaughter's Ass". She is 22 years old, by the way.

This morning I submitted edited versions of my first five stories with more graphic descriptions and paragraphs at the end of each story asking for feedback and PC. I hope these changes do some good.

 

[gauchecritic]

Well Box, I too think it's probably the titles that are the problem, "I do this.", "I do that", "I do the other" comes over (to me) as crass and supercilious. "This is what I've done and all you can do is read about it, loser"

You do understand that all I'm talking about here is words don't you?

The other effect these titles have is that they resemble second person POVs, and I can count on the fingers of one finger how many of those I've read.

Gauche

 

[Boxlicker101]

Well Box, I too think it's probably the titles that are the problem, "I do this.", "I do that", "I do the other" comes over (to me) as crass and supercilious. "This is what I've done and all you can do is read about it, loser"

You do understand that all I'm talking about here is words don't you?

The other effect these titles have is that they resemble second person POVs, and I can count on the fingers of one finger how many of those I've read.

Gauche

Gauche, I agree that the problem is in the titles but I think they sound boring, not crass or supercilious. There's nothing vulgar about them, which may be the problem. The descriptions are pretty vulgar, at least the recent ones and the ones I am changing. I also don't think there is anything haughty or stuck-up about them. How supercilious is it to say "I Cruise with Anna" or "I Install Cable for Lynn" or "I Call on Kimiko" or "We Go Christmas Caroling"? Dull? Yes, absolutely but I am making some efforts to change this. I am going to be making an attempt to spice up the titles some in the future but I still want potential readers to know they are part of the series so I will leave the first person pronouns in there, The descriptions will be vulgar because I want people to know they are stroke stories.

All the stories in the series either start with a first person pronoun or end with one and none of them have "You" in the title so I don't see how a second person POV can be perceived.

I don't know whether or not I can change the titles of stories that are already posted but sometimes I can change the descriptions and I am doing so.

 

[Guest]

I am the greatest!

 

[gauchecritic]

I am the greatest!

True

 

[Guest]

True

Sycophancy.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Sycophancy.

Perdita

What a delightfully charming way to say "ass-kisser".





(Gauche - I'm kidding. I'm KIDDING!)

 

[Boxlicker101]

I had two stories post today and I think part of the problem is the descriptions that are put on them. Writers don't get to write their own descriptions, although sometimes the editors might accept what is written. I had a lesbian story post today and I thought the descriptipon that I gave was quite provocative but the one it ended up with is even duller than most of my titles. I am going to ask for a change.

 

[Guest]

I don't understand -

They've always used the descriptions I gave when I submitted.

They change yours?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Re: I don't understand -

They've always used the descriptions I gave when I submitted.

They change yours?

Yes, they do frequently change them. The example I cited should have said something like "Melissa and June show Nicki the joys of woman to woman love" or something like that, which I consider to be better than what was printed. Both Melissa and June are ongoing characters in a series.

Edited to add: The description that was printed says "Women show Nicki the joys of lady love", which is OK but I think mine is more provocative and just as accurate.

 

[cantdog]

They changed some of mine, too.

I said in the description that "Brenda does Six"

Six is a character, Steven Six. Brenda finally gets to take him on in the chapter.

They made it "Brenda does 6"

Which may make ME seem misleading.

cantdog

 

[Boxlicker101]

They changed some of mine, too.

I said in the description that "Brenda does Six"

Six is a character, Steven Six. Brenda finally gets to take him on in the chapter.

They made it "Brenda does 6"

Which may make ME seem misleading.

cantdog

Hi, Dog.
I submitted a request for a change in the description. You can probably do it too but it takes as long to get a change as it does to get a submission posted.

 

[Guest]

Man of style

Everything's gonna be all right/ everything's gonna be all right/ everything's gonna be all right/ everything's gonna be all right

Nooo woman noo cry/ nooo woman no cry

Dah-dah-dah-dah

No woman no cry/ nah woman no cry