Disrespectful, unethical, immoral! I am amazed at this crap.

[Netzach]

Goddamnit, Netzach always gets her shit out first.

Yeah but you actually follow it up with some friendly advice.

 

[Marquis]

This makes me think of something else.

I can't say I'm one to necessarily "respect relationships" myself. I've hooked up with girls with boyfriend's (probably more than I know) and even married women once or twice.

Why is it my ethical responsibility to keep their relationship together?

Isn't that the prospective cheater's job?

I don't get mad at the people who hit on my woman. I've even been cheated on, and I really wasn't mad at all at the guy who my fiancee cheated on me with. I had no covenant with him.

 

[FurryFury]

I am contacted quite often. I am weary of it but I still try to be polite. I am not looking for anything these days in particular. I think a lot of lonely people contact everyone they think might respond for contact right then. If you respond they often hope to cyber. I like to ask them why they contacted me. Usually they have no truthful answer to that they wish to divulge. It's a very predatory feeling thing.

I no long have a profile at CollarMe or anywhere else really. I find it is quite easy for people to become obsessive through online contact. They are easy to turn on, and usually, easy to turn off again.

Now and then, after I've actually spent some time with someone I find it necessary to discontinue the contact. I use a process I call "weaning" for this. It basically involves not being available, emphasizing how imperfect I am and for that matter, we as a couple are, and generally not measuring up to what the individual wants or needs. Soon he is "breaking up" with me. At which point I wish him well assuming he actually let's me know and am generally happy that what wasn't going to work is finally over. If any contact is retained it is as friends.

On a related matter, remember the online Dom who sort of broke my heart? It thought it must be my fault for a number of reasons? Recently I looked at his profile again. He has changed it. His picture is not the same and really is also not even a picture of the same person. He makes reference to moving and missing where he was at. The rest of the profile is so vastly different from the one that drew me in, it is amazing. He is really making himself sound like a jerk IMO. If I cared enough I'd try to gently let him know so he could have a better chance of finding what he is looking for, something I don't believe he is being honest about.

The upshot is that he was much more of a false sort and a player sort than I ever imagined he could be. Also it truly wasn't me that caused the break. That's rather nice to know. I still miss what he did for me though, isn't that strange?

Anyway, I'm quite happy with my current online Dom. Anyone who seems to want to get into that sort of online D/s play with me is simply told, I'm taken. Most I've run across lately respect that, I'm happy to say. If they don't. I become unresponsive. That's so unlike me.

I have told him, I have no problem with him being with other people online or in real life as long as I get mine. How could I when I'm married after all. I want the best for him. That isn't just me. That's real life.

As for my husband, I rarely worry about him with others. For one thing that wouldn't be the end of our relationship. For another thing I am actively involved online and can picture doing something in RL as well. He's even given me his permission so, I can't see being that way. Of course, I try to make sure any women hanging around him know they have some serious competition, cause I'm a bitch that way.

Okaaaaay, this is what happens when I'm too tired to be posting but do so anyway, I wander all over the place, mouth vomiting random barely related ideas . . .

Fury

 

[Retrieval]

I've got about a year of experience expressing My dominance, and I kept My relationship under the wire until I believed we were ready to start learning from the community.

My slave was on alt.com before she discovered that I was dominant, and we started exploring our relationship. She made contact with several other "dominants" through this channel, and when she decided she wanted to give her submission to Me, I was one of three she could have chosen at the time.

During the course of that year, there were a couple of "dominants" who decided to pester her, and continued to hound her for her submission in spite of the fact that she had informed them of being happily involved with Me. In the end, she had to move and change her cell phone number to get away from them, and even that did not completely stop them.

Tonight I find out that this entire week, she has gotten messages from yet another "dominant" who wants to steal her from Me. This ended up strengthening our relationship, because I handled it well, but it amazes Me that these so called "dominants" can have such blatant disregard for the rights of others and such little respect for relationships already in place.

These "dominants" have consistently used every low and disgusting trick they could - lies, ignoring what was said, bribery, attempts to instill fear, uncertainty and doubt, and even bordering on slander of My character.

I am writing this to express my outrage and utter disgust for these so-called "dominants", who deserve no more respect than I give a turd before I flush it. I wish I could flush them. But I am also writing to them, to tell them that they will always fail. I am good to Mine. I treat Mine well. Mine are loved and cherished, and they know that I respect them. They know I take care of them, and that I will protect them. They know I will teach them, and push them, and make them grow. They know I know them inside and out, and exactly how to handle them. They know they are safe with Me. And they know that lies and FUD and bribery and slander only reveal a slug for what it is. I have to apologize to the good, honest beer-loving garden slugs out there for comparing these "dominants" to them, but slimy is slimy.

I don't care how much money you have, how big you think your dick is, how many slaves or subs you claim to have owned, what car you drive, or how silver your tongue is... you cannot have Mine. You cannot measure up to Me as a good, moral, caring, Dominant man, and Mine know that. That is why they are Mine.

If you want a sub, or a slave, try being a real man. Try being honest. Try being caring, and understanding. Try having moral integrity. Try being respectful of others' relationships. Try learning that it's not a game, and it's not just for your dick to get wet. These are real people you're dealing with, and real hearts and minds and emotions. They deserve to be treated as such. You can't have Mine because you can't hope to offer what I do. You can't even understand what I have to offer Mine. Years of experience, you say? If you need to resort to bribery and lies and slander and FUD to hope to get someone who you don't even have the right to be talking to after being told to go away, you need to take a long look in the mirror and grow the fuck up. Mine are too good for the likes of you. They're too smart and too mature for your kind. That is why they are with men like Me in the first place.

End rant.

Introduce them to a baseball bat.

 

[Aeroil]

No, I did not, and neither did she. She merely hit that little button that says "delete" and went right on with her day. In person, she just doesn't give any signals of availability or interest. She did go to the movies with a male friend once who tried to kiss her and she told him in certain and unapologetic terms that that wasn't going to work out. He understood and they're still friends to this day. I even met the guy, nice kid.

Lol, she just propositions submissive boys for strapon sex, right? ^_^

 

[O'Mac]

You know, thinking about some of Marq's comments sorta got my blood up, and then I had a bit of a paradigm shift. And don't worry, this all relates to the OP as well.

Marq, you say flat out that you have targetted involved women for whatever sexual escapades you want to devise. On that fact alone I would normally file that little remark away in the "total bastard" file in the moral centre of my mind. But you're absolutely right when you say that it's not your job to keep another relationship together. Doesn't it speak more on the part of the woman's lack of caring for her long-term commitment than anything else?

Now taking those remarks and applying them to the issue at hand, we can ask how comitted is the OP's partner to a relationship if it's so easy to delete a collarme account or close an email address? Let's face it, in the grand scheme of how relationships work, harassing emails or instant messages can be fixed relatively easily.

The real question should be why has it taken so long for these changes to be made?

 

[onyxvixen]

The real question should be why has it taken so long for these changes to be made?

I agree. There has been ambiguity about how much info this lady has given out. If you're being hassled online, you do not move from the area or change your phone number. She must have given this info in order for these guys to possess it, right?

Now, how positive a signal would you take it if after chatting up a girl online for a while, you are then presented with an address and phone number? Can this really be called unsolicited harrassment? Not at all.

If she then emphatically states that her situation has changed then most guys will accept defeat gracefully. She cannot have done this IMO for multiple suitors to think they genuinely have a chance. I think there are some quite justifiably disappointed men out there who this lady (through lack of self esteem or insecurity about being in a polyamory relationship) has mislead. I am highly skeptical of the notion that she has done this unwittingly.

IMO I don't see net harrassment as that serious a problem. Why is she even reading these messages? Where is the emotional trauma in deleting them unread until the sender gives up? There is something else going on here. Rexfelis should in no way be required to respond to any of this shit. My considered view is that she's playing him for an over-protective chump.

 

[SierraMoon]

Now taking those remarks and applying them to the issue at hand, we can ask how comitted is the OP's partner to a relationship if it's so easy to delete a collarme account or close an email address? Let's face it, in the grand scheme of how relationships work, harassing emails or instant messages can be fixed relatively easily.

The real question should be why has it taken so long for these changes to be made?

Bravo!!!

My thoughts exactly. There is such a thing as "Ignore" on each and every avenue that this person seems to chat with these men. On all the boards, the Messengers, and Email.

My question is the same as the others.... why hasn't she put these people on ignore? Or simply changed her email addy and IM name?

Seems an easy fix......

Maybe she doesn't want it to be so easy

 

[rexfelis]

I apologize for the ambiguity. I don't think to fully explain when I am venting.

My slave is a very attractive, very exotic looking woman, and she is easy to recognize as a result. One of the "stalkers" was from where she and I originally met (a call center) and three have been from Alt.com.

Two of them knew her phone number and where she lived, because they traced her through the phone book and by watching her and asking questions of people she knew.

I have not been upset with any of this until she came to me in tears hysterical over this last guy, who apparently tried to turn her against me... I am very disappointed that it turned out to be so easy to play on her fears. I guess she was not ready to communicate with the outside world on this subject. She was spouting all sorts of things that sent red flags up all over the place. That's when I got upset. I protected her in the past, but I am not the jealous type.

But this time, I learned a valuable lesson: Hysterical people are not going to make sense.

Turns out I got a really skewed version of what actually happened, because she was hysterical and wasn't able to think clearly. Things were much less bad than she led me to believe. The whole thing turns out to be one of her little outbursts that she does every 3-4 months to attack me because she's secretly terrified I'm leaving her or I'll hurt her like her family has done.

I've had her shut down her alt.com account and she's learning the hard way not to lead me to believe things that are not true. I do need to lear to spot it when she's pulling this shit, and shut her down without getting upset myself.

Now I feel like a real fool. But hey, thanks for your support, everyone.

And by the way, my opinion on relationships is, if you want to be with me, you'll act like it. Until she voluntarily accepts my collar, she is always free to walk. I believe that a relationship that is weak enough to have her leave is not strong enough to last anyway, but I also don't actively seek someone else's woman, either. And I refuse to accept or play with women who are otherwise involved.

I am quite secure in our relationship, and I would as soon unleash her if she was not happy. But when everything I have built over the last year comes crashing down because someone managed to play on fears I believed she had gotten past, I think it's reasonable to get upset.

 

[Jailhouse]

If you want a sub, or a slave, try being a real man. Try being honest. Try being caring, and understanding. Try having moral integrity. Try being respectful of others' relationships. Try learning that it's not a game, and it's not just for your dick to get wet. ...

I've always, always believed that the first person a Dom has to learn to control is himself. He has to live with integrity and honesty and be personally strong. You don't just get someone to sub for you because you're lucky; you have to earn that responsibility. You have to be in charge of yourself and someone else and still have the strength to do justice to both. If he can't control himself, what hope would he have of controlling someone else?

 

[rexfelis]

I've always, always believed that the first person a Dom has to learn to control is himself. He has to live with integrity and honesty and be personally strong. You don't just get someone to sub for you because you're lucky; you have to earn that responsibility. You have to be in charge of yourself and someone else and still have the strength to do justice to both. If he can't control himself, what hope would he have of controlling someone else?

You and I agree 100%.

 

[Marquis]

Now I feel like a real fool.

We've all been there bro.

 

[FurryFury]

<snip> I refuse to accept or play with women who are otherwise involved.<snip>

I understand everything you've said. I also understand the insecurity driving this woman very well. The above statement bothers me though because as I understand it you are involved with more than one person. If that's the case, it seems a bit unfair to me that no woman you are with can be otherwise involved.

Fury

 

[catalina_francisco]

Now taking those remarks and applying them to the issue at hand, we can ask how comitted is the OP's partner to a relationship if it's so easy to delete a collarme account or close an email address? Let's face it, in the grand scheme of how relationships work, harassing emails or instant messages can be fixed relatively easily.

The real question should be why has it taken so long for these changes to be made?

Basically what I said aways back....I think the answer comes down to what I suggested, ego stroking and pleasure at the attention she gets from both supposed admirers and Dom alike. Personally I wouldn't waste time with someone who operated that way...not worth the energy or time. And perhaps the Dom in question also gets off on the whole situation and attention as any Dom I have ever known would have handled it quickly and effectively by ordering the accounts and ways of communication be closed immediately, and wanting to know why the submissive hadn't done so themselves, and why they responded to these people in any way.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

Hey, I personally believe people are flawed creatures and the key to many things is to accept them as they are, flaws and all, and love them for themselves.

Now I don't think insecurity is the worst thing in the world. In fact, I believe it can be very useful. This particular way of expressing it isn't a deal breaker for me, necessarily.

Let's also not forget that knight in shinning armor is a lovely and widespread fantasy for many.

So if these two enjoy one another, then, IMO, they should go on enjoying one another. Nothing talked about here is to me, any thing close to an unpardonable sin.

I also happen to know just how easy it is to attract the obsessive both online and in RL. Certain professions are more dangerous in this area than others, those of service to the public and entertainment are two I've done that come to mind.

If this person is young and hasn't learned yet how best to deal with such people, I say give her a break and some time to learn.

*shrugs*

Life is hard sometimes. Experiences and willingness to learn and change is important, IMO. If you like and trust someone, don't throw them away over one thing like this.

Fury

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hey, I personally believe people are flawed creatures and the key to many things is to accept them as they are, flaws and all, and love them for themselves.

Now I don't think insecurity is the worst thing in the world. In fact, I believe it can be very useful. This particular way of expressing it isn't a deal breaker for me, necessarily.

Let's also not forget that knight in shinning armor is a lovely and widespread fantasy for many.

So if these two enjoy one another, then, IMO, they should go on enjoying one another. Nothing talked about here is to me, any thing close to an unpardonable sin.

I also happen to know just how easy it is to attract the obsessive both online and in RL. Certain professions are more dangerous in this area than others, those of service to the public and entertainment are two I've done that come to mind.

If this person is young and hasn't learned yet how best to deal with such people, I say give her a break and some time to learn.

*shrugs*

Life is hard sometimes. Experiences and willingness to learn and change is important, IMO. If you like and trust someone, don't throw them away over one thing like this.

Fury

Not suggesting anyone do anything Furry, just what my choice would be after learning the hard way. IMHO it comes down to boundaries....some people have them, some don't...what I have found are the ones who don't are the ones who are most likely to cheat than blame everyone and everything else for their behaviour but themselves. I have had enough of game players and pretenders to last me a lifetime and I much prefer a mature adult who can commit and knows what they want. I don't buy the theory that people in particular industries or with particular looks attract this attention innocently and can't be blamed in a situation such as described...like many, including myself have said, there is the option of closing of a profile once you are in a relationship, or ignore, or just plain not responding to take care of it if it is unwanted....problem is it is often wanted and appreciated.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

I don't wish to argue with you Cat. I just wanted to give this guy another POV. It sounds like to me that several seem to be saying dump this chick.

Also I know first hand that while it's easy to close an account and not respond, some jobs do tend to attract stalker types in spite of no interest or encouragement on the entertainer / service provider's part.

When I as a reference librarian, help a patron find materials that he or she is looking for, I am not thinking about sex, kinky or otherwise. This is also true when I am telling stories to, mostly but not exclusively, pre school aged audiences. Still for some reason these positions trigger certain types of obsessive people to become fascinated with you. It's not based on looks either. From talking with other librarians and storytellers I know that such experiences are in no way unique to me alone. So I'll have to disagree with you about the profession part.

I am not terribly fond of players either. I have no time for such people. I have never enjoyed that sort ever. I've always had very strong boundaries. Sometimes I think mine are too strong for no particular reason and should be torn down a bit. So I have a hard time understanding how some people do not have such boundaries but we are all different. I try to understand how people can do and be what they are. It's important to me for some strange reason.

Should I ever "cheat" I will take full blame for it. I don't believe in blaming others, I tend to blame myself for everything under the sun anyway. *L*

I can totally understand being insecure and wanting attention to sort of legitimize my worth and attractiveness. However true stalking isn't anything remotely pleasant, and not something I would ever desire, nor can I imagine someone else doing so.

Those people I know who create crisis to "test" me, tend to find little satisfaction in it. I don't give them what they want. I've been through far too much in life with emotional vampires, to find it a novelty or enjoy the game. I spend as little time as possible with that sort, though most of the ones I know are my relatives. *laughs in shaky sounding way*

Fury

 

[Kailey_86]

ok, here's my 2 cents.

It all boils down to respect IMO. These Doms can't respect the fact that the girl is taken. This infuriates me. To me it's just like cheating...these men seem likely to be the ones who would cheat on their women because they cannot respect the fact that this girl belongs to someone. she is in a relationship. How is anyone supposed to have a healthy relationship these days when you can't trust that your SO won't cheat on you? It's not ok. i am amazed that you are so comfortable with the idea Marquis.

i don't think that the sub in question is at all playing RexFelis. If she is like me she probably is just too nice. i have so many guys asking me to leave my Dom. They know i am involved but continue anyway. They tell me to leave, they tell me they can do better, they are conviced that all i want is cybersex like them. i usually end up blocking them or ignoring them but it's only after they have really pushed my buttons. i tend to try and work things out first, have them understand. i have learned that this is useless. i don't even give them a chance anymore. They are guilty until proven innocent so to speak.

Someone asked why RexFelis can have several relationships but His subs can't. That is simple. He makes the final decisions. That is His role as a Dom. If the sub isn't happy with that, they can leave. It is their choice. Do what works for you. This can be applied to so many things.

 

[onyxvixen]

But this time, I learned a valuable lesson: Hysterical people are not going to make sense.

Turns out I got a really skewed version of what actually happened, because she was hysterical and wasn't able to think clearly. Things were much less bad than she led me to believe. The whole thing turns out to be one of her little outbursts that she does every 3-4 months to attack me because she's secretly terrified I'm leaving her or I'll hurt her like her family has done.

I've had her shut down her alt.com account and she's learning the hard way not to lead me to believe things that are not true. I do need to lear to spot it when she's pulling this shit, and shut her down without getting upset myself.

Now I feel like a real fool. But hey, thanks for your support, everyone.

I am quite secure in our relationship, and I would as soon unleash her if she was not happy. But when everything I have built over the last year comes crashing down because someone managed to play on fears I believed she had gotten past, I think it's reasonable to get upset.

It's good that you've recognised this pattern in your sub and that there are long standing reasons for her insecurity (in this case family histrionics) that are in no way your fault. On the other hand though, how do you plan to combat this self-destructive behaviour of hers? Shouldn't she also be learning that it's needless and potentially damaging to your trust because, as you have said, she exaggerated things and was effectively dishonest to you.

You say she's learning the hard way but is she really, if you've been through this with her numerous times already?

 

[Betticus]

I may read all of this later but my first instinct upon reading the first five posts is this:

It isn't her responsibility to take care of and get rid of the other "doms" out there. It's only her responsibility to tell me when someone steps across my boundaries with her. If she isn't telling me what is going on then she doesn't fully understand me and some more communication is needed.

The other "doms" belong to me.

 

[Marquis]

ok, here's my 2 cents.

It all boils down to respect IMO. These Doms can't respect the fact that the girl is taken. This infuriates me. To me it's just like cheating...these men seem likely to be the ones who would cheat on their women because they cannot respect the fact that this girl belongs to someone. she is in a relationship. How is anyone supposed to have a healthy relationship these days when you can't trust that your SO won't cheat on you? It's not ok. i am amazed that you are so comfortable with the idea Marquis.

Why should they respect the fact that this girl is "taken"? She is her own human being and gets to make her own choices. If she doesn't respect her dom enough to refrain from entertaining other men, why should they respect him enough to draw that line for her?

i don't think that the sub in question is at all playing RexFelis. If she is like me she probably is just too nice. i have so many guys asking me to leave my Dom. They know i am involved but continue anyway. They tell me to leave, they tell me they can do better, they are conviced that all i want is cybersex like them. i usually end up blocking them or ignoring them but it's only after they have really pushed my buttons. i tend to try and work things out first, have them understand. i have learned that this is useless. i don't even give them a chance anymore. They are guilty until proven innocent so to speak.

At least you're learning.

If by "guilty", you mean that the men are looking for sex, then yes, we are all fucking guilty. You know that guy who asked how you can tell if cantaloupes are ripe in the grocery store?

He doesn't give a fuck about cantaloupes, he wants to fuck you.

You know that nice older guy at the bar who bought you a drink?

He's not a goddamned philanthropist, he wants to fuck you.

How about all those doms you meet on lit, alt, collarme or wherever the fuck else you make yourself available?

Guess what? They want to fuck you!

Are there any men you interact with that don't want to fuck you?

Depending on how attractive you are, possibly not. You can usually exclude members of your nuclear family, but often enough, even they want to fuck you.

So what do you do? You have two options.

Either you shut yourself away from all interactions with males other than your husband like they do in many cultures, or you learn to be more assertive.

A sophisticated and assertive woman can thwart off sexual advances all day without breaking a sweat (or coming off bitchy, for that matter). Keep wasting your time worrying about being nice to all these assholes and they'll forever be buzzing around you like flies on shit.

That isn't what you want.... is it?

I'm not surprised that you can empathize with the girl in question, because you give me the impression that you're of the same basic type. Got to be nice. Can't stand the idea of anyone not liking you. I'm sorry, but this is the stuff that targets are made of.

I knew a girl in college who took this mindset to a pathological extreme. She had very low self esteem, and couldn't stand to upset or disappoint anyone. Guys would pressure her into having sex by any means they felt necessary.

"You can't leave me like this, I have blue balls!"

"But I thought you liked me...."

"Baby, please, I haven't gotten any in a realy long time."

She would usually relent because she didn't want them to be mad. Every once in a while when she'd have the courage to say no, they usually fucked her anyway because by that point they figured out she'd just internalize all her anger and blame herself. She was the perfect victim and there's only so long you can play a certain role without getting good at it.

So let me give you my two cents.

If I was your dom, I would be ashamed that you were having conversations with men who were insulting me. I would hope never to run into these men, not because I'd be angry at them, but because I'd be so embarassed about your behavior.

You don't have to justify your relationship to anyone. Why is what these men think important enough to get into a conversation about? Because you don't want them to worry? Since they're so nice?

Give me a fucking break.

Marquis handles this situation in one of two ways:

The beat down or the freeze out.

Each has it's advantages and disadvantages. Everyone is human. Sometimes your girl has a semi-legitimate reason for attracting attention like this. Maybe she was dealing with a particularly artful player, or maybe you really haven't been giving her enough attention and she's only thinking with her emotions.

A good punishment will remind her that this behavior is unacceptable and also give her some of the attention she needs. The bad part about the beat down is that she can use this to control you if you're not careful. Some girls would rather be beaten to death than ignored.

Which is exactly why, sometimes, you've got to ignore them. The freeze out can be deadly effective when used right. The freeze out doesn't just say "I don't like it when you do that," it says "I don't like you when you do that." Unfortunately the freeze out can create a feedback loop where they will keep doing more and more inappropriate things to get your attention.

Hence the inherent problem. You can do what you can to manage this problem, but an insecure person who needs lots of attention is always going to have a motive to be manipulative.

Someone asked why RexFelis can have several relationships but His subs can't. That is simple. He makes the final decisions. That is His role as a Dom. If the sub isn't happy with that, they can leave. It is their choice. Do what works for you. This can be applied to so many things.

Ha ha, can't argue with you there.

 

[Marquis]

I may read all of this later but my first instinct upon reading the first five posts is this:

It isn't her responsibility to take care of and get rid of the other "doms" out there. It's only her responsibility to tell me when someone steps across my boundaries with her. If she isn't telling me what is going on then she doesn't fully understand me and some more communication is needed.

The other "doms" belong to me.

You've mentioned this before Betticus and I've told you I don't handle things this way. I hope you don't mind if I am totally upfront.

I think this is an absolute sucker way to operate.

If I got into a fight with every guy who hit on my girlfriend, I could never leave the house without getting into a brawl. I'm way too confident in the loyalty of my woman, and way too unconcerned with the opinions of unfamiliar males to have time for that bullshit.

I expect my woman to repel such advances up to her capabilities. If she has made it clear she is not interested, and the guy is making himself impossible to ignore, yes I will get involved.

I've been out with girls lots of times that will come up to me running asking me to "save them" from some clueless smiling dude trying to chat them up. They'll turn towards him and say in a chipper tone, "oh really?!! that's so funny!" then turn to me and whisper "save me" threw clenched teeth.

Sorry, I don't clean up other people's messes. If he throws a drink in your face, I'll punch him. If you don't know how to appropriately express appropriate anger or annoyance, start learning.

 

[rexfelis]

I understand everything you've said. I also understand the insecurity driving this woman very well. The above statement bothers me though because as I understand it you are involved with more than one person. If that's the case, it seems a bit unfair to me that no woman you are with can be otherwise involved.

Fury

Domination and submission isn't always about fairness, which is a very subjective thing, in my opinion - although the way I do this is very fair. You become a candidate for 4-6 months, and if you don't like it, you're free to walk any time. After that, you can be my sub, and you're still free to walk if you don't like it. This is always a voluntary thing. I'm poly, but they don't have to be, although I only deal romantically with Mine. If they want to be Mine, fine. If it's not right for them, they're free to move on. What's not fair about that? I'm up front and honest about my rules, and I can't see how it's not fair. My way isn't for everyone. That can be said for anything else, as well.

 

[Betticus]

I'm almost always quite a bit more suave and controlled than that. It's more a matter of posession. Most guys would rather move off than face you.

Now, if I'm taking control and she disses me then she can pack her shit and get the fuck out.

 

[rexfelis]

Basically what I said aways back....I think the answer comes down to what I suggested, ego stroking and pleasure at the attention she gets from both supposed admirers and Dom alike. Personally I wouldn't waste time with someone who operated that way...not worth the energy or time. And perhaps the Dom in question also gets off on the whole situation and attention as any Dom I have ever known would have handled it quickly and effectively by ordering the accounts and ways of communication be closed immediately, and wanting to know why the submissive hadn't done so themselves, and why they responded to these people in any way.

Catalina

That is what I have done. A big part of the problem is communication. That is also being dealt with.